Rant coming up, feel free to skip it.
So I was at work tonight and we went up for break and one of the temp workers who gets called in when we don't have enough people to cover everything was there and she was asking me how it's going with DS at the special education school, if he likes it. I was telling her that yes, he loves it, and some of the latest "happenings". Like that he was chosen to do a special project group for kids who can handle more than the regular curriculum offered, and today was the first day of that and that he said it was really hard and he didn't really have fun because one kid kept talking over him and also taking his ideas, etc. And this gal I don't know, she must be new there, asks me what he has. And I said Autism, and she says "Yes, but what form? My son has aspergers." and I said they didn't specify a "type", they just call it Autism Spectrum Disorder''. And she goes on to tell me that it's all a bunch of nonsense anyway, because all she had to do with her son is explain the reason for something and he's fine. Because NO ONE likes to hear "No" without knowing why, even adults, and nowadays, any kid that a teacher doesn't know how to handle is told they have autism. Her son's teacher just didn't know what to do with him. I didn't really know what to say, so I kept talking to the original temp person I had been talking to, about how we're making lists to hang around the house with step by step instructions of how to do things like set the table, what he's supposed to do when he gets home from school, because he keeps forgetting things and we have to call him back to empty is school bag, or get it from his bike bags, etc. And the temp gal says that yes, she's heard that structure is important and they don't like surprises. And I said no, DS needs to know what we're going to be doing when. And the new gal breaks in to tell me I just need to tell him we're going to surprise him...that will fix it because that's what she does with her son. I kind of shrugged and said that every kid is different. She says "No really!! That will fix it!"
First off, I wanted to ask her if she had medical degrees and was an expert in the field of Autism, why is she working at a warehouse for minimum wage?? 2nd, she'd never met me and she certainly hasn't met my kids...how does SHE know what will help MY kid? Isn't it incredibly rude to tell someone else what they are and aren't going through? Like "No, there's no such thing as cancer....you just need to change your diet and everything will be fine!" She said her kid has Asbergers, but also said that the teacher just didn't know what to do with him, so told them he has aspergers. Teachers don't make a diagnosis...if the teacher is telling you your child is showing behavior that might indicate a disorder, they will most likely ask you to consider getting him tested for it. That's not a diagnosis, and if your kid is struggling and you just don't want to admit that there's something going on, by all means, bury your head in the sand, but don't tell me that MY kid doesn't have a disorder because you can't admit that your kid does too. Or maybe your kid is just a spoiled brat that the teacher can't handle. I don't know....I haven't met your kid. But I didn't say that, I just walked away because break was over and I didn't want to say something rude and get in trouble.
I asked my coworker whose son goes to the same school as mine if she thought the exchange was as weird as I did. (She was sitting on my other side) She kind of rolled her eyes and said "That woman doesn't know what she's talking about because she doesn't have a kid with Autism. Just ignore her. WE know what we go through with our kids and she's obviously never been through that." And she's completely right....it just frustrated me and put my back up because I just never would have told another parent that their child's diagnosis was nothing but hooey, especially someone I'd just met 2 minutes before. It minimizes everything we went through up to this point, like it doesn't exist and I'm just a bad mom for not knowing how to solve every issue immediately, and I'm being stupid for making instructions to hang around the house to remind DS of how to do his chores. It just really bugged me.
Rant over. You may now return to your regularly scheduled chit-chatting.
. I REFUSE to feel bad!! I’m not. I just wish he wouldn’t have acted like that.. like a brat, seriously he was acting like a brat over what I bought for him.
So I think she fancies herself a medical expert and isn't aware of how much she doesn't know. As you stated, "Just walk away."
. My guess is that in time, she'll come to realize what a jerk she was that day. I'm thinking part of it all was the whole mid-teen craziness/crisis that goes on with some kids, and the "me first" attitude. Don't completely give up hope on her yet -- think she just has some growing up to do.