Some of the parents have been talked to, yes. In first grade, the kid who called him a loser the other day told him he was going to kill him and his whole family. I talked to the mom and she laughed it off, saying he probably was just repeating something he heard on a video game. She asked him, he denied saying it, and that was it. But she had been called in to the school multiple times with reports of her son bullying other kids...she didn't take it seriously because they are young and all kids that age do stupid stuff, etc. I also caught him shouting "TURK! TURK!!" at a kid during gym, because the kid has dark skin. His punishment was to get dressed in a side room where he couldn't socialize with the other kids. But I know she has been talked to several times. Another one of the kids, he spit on DS, tripped him in the hallway, pushed him, and the teacher walked in on him snapping my son with a towel repeatedly, taunting him and telling him to cry. (2 years ago) I asked for a meeting with the mom and the teacher and we brought in both boys. She fidgeted the whole time, looking out the window at her OTHER son, and then got up and announced that they really needed to leave, because she had left the baby at home asleep and she hadn't thought it would take this long. Really? Your son is tormenting other kids and you thought it wouldn't take more than a 5 minute conversation and you left your infant at home alone??? (yes, infant...as in....only a few months old) So she's been talked to. When one of the girls pushed DS down and kicked him, I reported it to the teacher and she told me I was the 3rd parent that day (or that week at least? Now I don't remember) to complain about her attacking their kid and her parents had already been contacted. So THEY have been talked to. Unfortunately, they don't really go past talking to them. And there have to be LOTS of incidences before they will talk to the parents. When the one kid was shoving DS against the wall and I ripped him off of him, I reported it to a teacher and they did not do anything except make DS confront the kid (3 years older than him) the next day...the kid got no punishment and his parents were not contacted. Same kid followed DS around at lunch, elbowing him and taunting him...another parent saw it and reported it. Again, DS had to confront him and there was still no punishment and the parents were not called. It didn't stop until my husband found out where he lived and showed up at their door to tell the parents himself...they had no idea there was a problem. So...yes and no. But that last boy, who was shoving DS against the wall...when a girl in his class got so fed up with his tormenting her that she punched him, HER parents were called immediately...it was her first offense of anything and she was only reacting to what HE did to her, and they called HER parents. Her mom said "Good for you!!" and the teachers were shocked. Well...what do you expect? You let this kid bully kids repeatedly and do nothing about it...the kids end up having to take it into their own hands. If YOU won't punish them, the kids have to do it, and the kids have no authority to take away privileges or make them stay after school...the only thing in their power is to use physical force. If you don't want them to resort to that, then handle it yourself before it gets to that point!
I've started a journal for this year, writing down every incident of rage DS has and what triggered it, and every incident of bullying at school that DS tells me about (and one that he didn't mention, but my DD saw it and told me). His therapist also said she'd email the school and remind them they need to do something about the bullying because DS is having stomach aches, nightmares, etc...I think that might be why the teacher said she would talk to them 10 times more than last year...she told him that the day after his therapy session when I was told the school would be contacted about the need for action.
The law over here is pretty vague....I could file a complaint saying the school has basically neglected my son. They are responsible for him while he is at school, and they have to make an effort to maintain a safe environment there, but there's nothing that says HOW they have to do that. The biggest problem is the lack of communication. DS gets bullied by one group and he goes to the teacher on duty...that teacher generally does not report it to anyone else. So then the next time he gets bullied by that same group, there's no record of it having happened before. So it's not looked at as bullying, but as a disagreement between kids...an isolated incident. The victim has to confront the bully and ask why they did what they did, the bully has to come up with some excuse (generally "I was just joking") and then has to say they won't do it again, and the case is closed. If it happens again, something is supposed to happen. But since it never gets communicated, and the kids never do exactly the same thing twice, it's never considered a 2nd infraction, because "Well, I said I wouldn't call him a loser again and I haven't" or "Oh, we didn't know this happened before....now we know for next time." But then next time, it's yet another teacher who didn't know it had happened before. There's always a reason why did don't take it farther than the confrontation step.
It's great to go to if you didn't want to go to a store bigger than a town.
