The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
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StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
JenniferS said:
Tammy left 3 1/2 years ago, with two partial reconciliations in the interim.
He says she left because he's sick, unable to work, and in bed 23 hours/day.
He refuses to acknowledge that it was because of his drug abuse.

His latest argument - he's an addict ... addiction is a sickness ... and her vows included "in sickness and in health".
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My cousin-in-law is a former addict. She says it's like being in a constant state of delusion. Nothing is reality. They always think that they'll get out of jail and that things will be different, but then she says they get out and go right back to what they were doing, and the cycle repeats until they finally hit rock bottom. They get on these drugs and they are so delusional.

My cousin-in-law lost a few brain cells with her drug past, but in this case, she's right. Nieces' mom is an excellent example. She calls them and tells them that soon she'll be out and everything will go back to normal. Yeah. She signed away custody of them to my aunt. Even when she gets out, she'll be on probation and won't be able to leave PA. And since the girls have been down in SC for more than six months, any custody agreements would have to take place in SC. Their dad, although he signed away custody as well, calls them and tells them the exact same thing.

So yes, your brother is not going to admit that he has a problem. He isn't living in reality; he's living in a drug-addled fantasy. And yes, he is sick, but he's not going to get better until he admits that he has a problem. And clearly, that is not going to happen just yet.

But glad that Tammy is sticking to her guns and getting a divorce. I'm sure your support helps her. Hopefully your brother will eventually hit rock bottom and allow himself to get the help that he needs. Lots of carp in your life that you don't need. *hugs*

And baby elephants. Because.

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JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Gabe1 said:
Oh Bother. I hope she remains strong for her own good.
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Oh yeah, she's done.
She has neither seen, nor spoken to him, since she left on Father's Day, after discovering that he was again smoking his patches.
She has texted him just a few times ... always in regards to the divorce filing.

He's still my brother, and my heart breaks because he is so lost without my mother, but many people have endured far worse, and still not turned to lying, stealing and drug-taking.
 
StarWarsGirl

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
JenniferS said:
Oh yeah, she's done.
She has neither seen, nor spoken to him, since she left on Father's Day, after discovering that he was again smoking his patches.
She has texted him just a few times ... always in regards to the divorce filing.

He's still my brother, and my heart breaks because he is so lost without my mother, but many people have endured far worse, and still not turned to lying, stealing and drug-taking.
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So you would say that your mother's passing was the trigger for all of this?
 
JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Okay Peeps, I am out for the night. Was up from 4:20 to 7:50 getting the two working boys up and delivered to work; this ship with my brother just all was fully revealed today; and Son #1 is ticked off with me (over the car) and said he's moving out on the weekend.
I actually said, "Why the delay? Get the eff out now!"

I have a hot cup of tea and a Janet Evanovich oldie-but-goodie waiting for me.

Hubby says he'll do all three boys tomorrow, but I'm gonna do the 4:30 kid. That way, he can at least sleep until 6:40.
 
Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
JenniferS said:
Oh yeah, she's done.
She has neither seen, nor spoken to him, since she left on Father's Day, after discovering that he was again smoking his patches.
She has texted him just a few times ... always in regards to the divorce filing.

He's still my brother, and my heart breaks because he is so lost without my mother, but many people have endured far worse, and still not turned to lying, stealing and drug-taking.
Click to expand...

I have no idea what smoking patches is. Blessed.
 
JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
StarWarsGirl95 said:
So you would say that your mother's passing was the trigger for all of this?
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He says looking after my dad and being there when he died (18 months previously) is what messed him up.
My mom fell into a beer bottle when my dad got sick, so was no support to any of us.

Then Tammy left Sept. 30. He spent a couple of days here, then he and my mom went out to my trailer for a week, then two weeks later she went to stay with him. Two and a half weeks later, we called an ambulance to his place to pick her up ... she died five hours later in hospital.

Truth is though, he's been messed up since he was a kid.
 
Gabe1

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
JenniferS said:
Okay Peeps, I am out for the night. Was up from 4:20 to 7:50 getting the two working boys up and delivered to work; this ship with my brother just all was fully revealed today; and Son #1 is ticked off with me (over the car) and said he's moving out on the weekend.
I actually said, "Why the delay? Get the eff out now!"

I have a hot cup of tea and a Janet Evanovich oldie-but-goodie waiting for me.

Hubby says he'll do all three boys tomorrow, but I'm gonna do the 4:30 kid. That way, he can at least sleep until 6:40.
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I like this Jennifer!
 
JenniferS

JenniferS

When you're the leader, you don't have to follow.
Gabe1 said:
I have no idea what smoking patches is. Blessed.
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Fentanyl patches (really should check the spelling on that) are prescribed to him for chronic pain.
They are applied to the skin, and worn just like a nicotine patch. They produce a steady, time-released narcotic pain medication, so that you are generally "on top" of the pain, rather than "chasing pain".

Aaaaah, but they don't make you high. Unless of course, you cut them into thin strips and chew them, or light them on fire and inhale the smoke for a very brief, very intense high.

The doctors up here are moving everyone off of the patches, except for terminal cancer patients, because people are dropping like flies from unintentional overdose.

More than I ever wanted to know.

ETA: http://www.cbc.ca/m/news/canada/ott...ins-lure-and-risk-of-fentanyl-abuse-1.2254700
 
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seahawk7

seahawk7

Well-Known Member
JenniferS said:
I am having a very carppy day, on multiple levels.

When my brother ends up in jail (and hopefully he will), I will take comfort in the fact that we have probably saved him from the grave.

I bailed him out one final time last month, to the tune of $1721, under the explicit condition that that was the final time. My heart is heavy ... but my conscience is clear.

If any of you are prayer warriors - I need God to send my brother Mark to go to jail before he OD's. Hopefully, it will be his actions that get him arrested, rather than ours. But if necessary, we will do what we have to to save his life.
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I'm praying for him.
 
seahawk7

seahawk7

Well-Known Member
JenniferS said:
Oh yeah, she's done.
She has neither seen, nor spoken to him, since she left on Father's Day, after discovering that he was again smoking his patches.
She has texted him just a few times ... always in regards to the divorce filing.

He's still my brother, and my heart breaks because he is so lost without my mother, but many people have endured far worse, and still not turned to lying, stealing and drug-taking.
Click to expand...
In Al Anon on they call it detachment. You can love them without attachment. My ex husband was into drugs before I met him, and i, being so so young didn't have the wisdom to know that he might use again. It is the reason we divorced when he started up again and was the reason I got into Al Anon so I could learn how to cope with him. They are a great resource.
 

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