The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Songbird76 said:
That's great! I lived with my brother for a bit in college, and I lived with my in-laws when we first moved over here, and I am not a fan of living with family as adults because everyone has their own ways of doing things, and everyone seems to expect everyone else to do things their way. It was kind of a nightmare for me, and I hope we never have to do that again. But I suppose it's a bit different when it's YOUR home and the other person is moving in with YOU rather than you moving into HER home.
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Yea, all family dynamics are different, and many relationships just wouldn’t work well in situations like that/this. But, this was all well thought out, planned for, and discussed well ahead of time, and it’s working well, and hopefully will continue to.
Again, with the life she has lived, I feel we owe it to her.
 
donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Goofyernmost said:
I know it's annoying, but that is the number one concern of those of us with way to many years in our past. In other words OLD. It is more than a fear it is giving up our freedom and our control over our own lives. Most of the time it is not a problem or a burden to others but it sure as hell feels that way. Simple things like if I am playing golf with my son in law and I hit it in an area the requires that I walk or climb an area that will knock me out physically, he will go to it and pick up the ball for me. I love it and hate it all at the same time. I want him to enjoy his game and not have to compensate for my physical inabilities. He doesn't seem to mind, but I do and I can't help it.

It signals the change from being the parent to being the child of your child. It is psychologically a huge thing for us. I can still drive well and that is how I stay relevant but the day will come when I cannot and I have assured them that I will be a angry, frustrated old man. I have mentioned that they might hear the words voluntary euthanasia come up. If all I'm going to be is in a semi-veggie state, I don't want to be here anymore just sucking up oxygen. Don't get me wrong, that is not for everything just the worst case scenario. I just wanted to try and explain just how significant the feeling of helplessness and dependency is for the elderly. We were once the support and provider and those people the depended on us for all those years have now turned the tables on us and put us in a place we do not want to be part of.

We know that it might be annoying to keep saying we don't want to be a burden, but it is a really strong feeling and defining of a more fruitful part of our lives that we don't want to go away.

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Actually, it’s not really annoying, and I was just teasing. I figure if that’s the only thing that slightly stands out about all this, then it’s a family win for all of us…!!! ;):)
And, I do get all of what you are saying, to a point, as I’m still too young to have experienced the vast majority of those things personally.
Also, as a matter of fact, my MIL spent about a decade in her mid 50’s-mid 60’s working in housekeeping at a local retirement home.
Both of our girls Girl Scout troops (Carolyn was the leader of both troops) visited with the residents many times doing many activities with the residents. I and Matthew were there most times, as well, and met and spoke with many residents, and we all loved it. Matthew and I especially connected very well with 3 WWII vets.
I was taught from day one to respect my elders, and we taught our children same, and experiences like those just reinforced those values in them.
As much as she may not believe it, she’s not a burden, and I hope she can come close to realizing that at some point in the relatively near future.
In the meantime, we go on…!!! ;) :)
 
donaldtoo

donaldtoo

Well-Known Member
Cesar R M said:
You guys getting rain hopefully?

I can't imagine another horrible drought like you guys had a few years ago.

I remember my cousins saying they could not even water the plants because of imposed fines related to the drought (In Houston)
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Yep, no significant rain in a while. But, again, that’s typical for this time of year. Lake Travis is about 45 ft. low, I think. The main problem is so many are moving here, and so much construction is going on that we don’t have enough capacity to handle it all, especially during these traditionally dry times of our year, and that’s obviously a big problem.
 
Cesar R M

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
Yep, no significant rain in a while. But, again, that’s typical for this time of year. Lake Travis is about 45 ft. low, I think. The main problem is so many are moving here, and so much construction is going on that we don’t have enough capacity to handle it all, especially during these traditionally dry times of our year, and that’s obviously a big problem.
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Yeeah, they might have to build more reservoirs or even build artificial lakes.
 
Goofyernmost

Goofyernmost

Well-Known Member
donaldtoo said:
Actually, it’s not really annoying, and I was just teasing. I figure if that’s the only thing that slightly stands out about all this, then it’s a family win for all of us…!!! ;):)
And, I do get all of what you are saying, to a point, as I’m still too young to have experienced the vast majority of those things personally.
Also, as a matter of fact, my MIL spent about a decade in her mid 50’s-mid 60’s working in housekeeping at a local retirement home.
Both of our girls Girl Scout troops (Carolyn was the leader of both troops) visited with the residents many times doing many activities with the residents. I and Matthew were there most times, as well, and met and spoke with many residents, and we all loved it. Matthew and I especially connected very well with 3 WWII vets.
I was taught from day one to respect my elders, and we taught our children same, and experiences like those just reinforced those values in them.
As much as she may not believe it, she’s not a burden, and I hope she can come close to realizing that at some point in the relatively near future.
In the meantime, we go on…!!! ;) :)
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I know you are not thinking this she is a burden and I will venture a guess that she is not really thinking that either. I'm sure she is more than happy to be there knowing that someone that cares about her is close by. We all know that. I, for example, am still quite independent in spite of more recent, non-life threatening health issues. I dread the day when I can no longer safely be that way and yet currently I wonder what I will do if something like a heart attack or stroke decides to pay a visit and how long it would take for it to be noticed. Due to that independence we check up on each other at best weekly it could be up to a week. That scared the crap out of me.

I have a friend that texts me, or I her, every day (just a good morning) and I respond. If I don't or she doesn't and we have tried another text than a couple of tries at actual calling, we have the numbers of each others kids to let them know that we aren't getting a response and tell them they should check.

This was a mutual plan of my friend and myself and it was based on not wanting to be a burden on our children. We both want them to live their life, as we did when younger and not worry. My whole point is that whenever we, as parents, need our children to "watch over us", justified or not, it is a gigantic adjustment for us to make and although appreciated it is probably the most major life change we have to do. So rest assured that she understands that you are OK, she is trying to convince herself that it is alright for her to accept that and be happy. I can also assure you that she is internally relieved to be there and be a direct part of a loving family again.
 
ajrwdwgirl

ajrwdwgirl

Premium Member
FutureCEO

FutureCEO

Well-Known Member
ajrwdwgirl said:
Looks like my Disneyland Paris trip report has been moved to the Disneyland Paris section of the board which is disappointing because that doesn't seem to be as visited as the trip report section but I guess it fits in that section as well.

Here's a link if you aren't already getting alerts and following but are interested.
https://forums.wdwmagic.com/threads/yes-miss-this-is-france-🇫🇷-june-18-july-1-2023-disneyland-paris-and-other-parts-of-france.981496/page-3#post-10672521
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Have to get there someday
 

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