Assuming it's something that you won't resent
Team Bailey would please like to proudly present...
Seuss Landing: Revamped
Down in the South of the US of A
There was a place where we would all play
An island so fun, so unique, so bizarre
That each step you take you don’t know where you are
For this island had places, had stops, had lands
But this island was peculiar, for it had no sands
This island had heroes, and dinos, and bats
But the most famous of all was one single old cat…
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FUN, FUN, FUN! with the Cat in the Hat
On Lip-Lapper Lane, there's a house so exquisite
And it houses a family you simply must visit
One with two siblings, a boy and a girl
And a whole house that moves, you’ll want to hurl
For this house has a guest, a crazy one who
Has brought his dear friends, Thing One and Thing Two
This guest is a cat who invites you along
To spin through the house, even though it seems wrong
You cannot say no, no, not to this cat
So come join the ride with the Cat in the Hat
Guests enter by passing under an archway with the ride’s signage on it and into an indoor queue area. Despite being actually indoors, the room is designed to make guests feel like they’re standing outside in the backyard of the Walden house. The station is situated near the house’s back wall and vehicles enter the ride through the backdoor. As guests approach the station, they pass an oversized, dirt-covered gardening hoe stuck in the ground and sticking upright; attached to it is a contract with the safety information and little sticky notes such as “Initial here,” “And here,” “NOT HERE!” “Smell that,” etc.
At the station, guests board their vehicle, a two-row silvery automobile called the Super Trackless Automotive Transporting Industrial Omnidirectional Navigational Artisanal Rotating Yondermobile (or, as the acronym stamped on its back says, “S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y.” for short. That’s right, these vehicles are…artisanal! (and also Islands of Adventure’s second trackless ride but who cares about that?) After boarding, the S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. takes guests into the house.
The first thing guests see is the fishbowl, where the Fish notices the guests and exclaims, “Who are you people?! Who said you could be in here?! No one is supposed to be here!” Ignoring him, the S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. proceeds towards a door. An exciting drumroll is heard. The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. stops at the door. The door opens…and it’s just coat hangers. The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. rotates 180 degrees around and finds the Cat in the Hat standing right in front of it. “Nobody’s in there! NYHUHUHUHUHU!” A Latin big band-esque vamp kicks in and the S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. moves away to a big red crate sitting in the living room. “Come on out, you two!” the Cat says, and (thanks to Musion Eyeliner technology) Thing One and Thing Two jump and somersault out of the crate. “Let’s show these people how to have some fun!”
Now guests move towards a wall where they can see the shadow of the Cat balancing on a ball. As he sings, one object after another is thrown to him. “You can juggle work and play but you have to know the way!/You can keep afloat a wish like the way I do this fish!/You can be a happy fella, someone throw me that umbrella/And that rake! That cake! Life’s what you make it!” The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. proceeds into the den where the Cat’s balancing act is now seen in person. His left foot balances on a red and white ball with a stripe and star; his right leg balances a plate and milk bottle; his tail holds a fan; in his right arm are a rake, a little wooden boat and man, and the Fish in his bowl atop an umbrella; on his left arm are three books stacked vertically; on his hat is a cake. Green rotating letters, an “F,” a “U,” and an “N,” are projected behind him on a wall. As Fish shouts, “I did not consent to this!” the Cat continues his song, “So have fun fun fun! Go insane/And have some fun fun fun! Just look at me!/I’m as happy as a clam, I’m as fit as a fiddle/We can’t spell fun without “U” in the middle!”
The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. travels down a hallway where Thing Two rides a bicycle and Thing One dances on the ceiling. Up ahead, the Cat is dancing in a grotesque Carmen Miranda-type costume. On a shelf next to him is a lock in the shape of a crab also joining the dance (a projection effect) atop a block with the letter “U;” an “F” and “N” block are on their sides on either side of the “U” block. “Fun fun fun! You gotta learn/You can have fun fun fun! So can’t ya see?/We’ll be flipping like a flapjack off a greasy griddle!/You can’t spell fun without “U” in the- Hey! You’re the lock for the crate! Why aren’t you on the crate?!” The Crab Lock seems to say, “Fun and conflict!” Entering the main foyer, the red crate is now seen letting out purple smoke and bulging at its sides. “This is not good!” the Cat says, “Quick! Into the closet!” The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. zooms into a nearby closet.
The closet is dark and small. The Cat parts away some sweaters. “That’s not just any old crate. It’s the Transdimensional Transportolator, a doorway that leads from this world to my world. And if it’s not locked, we could be staring down the Mother of All Messes.” A dramatic beat. Then a cheerful, “You go check!” The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. turns around towards the door (the walls of the closet rotate as well in the opposite direction to enhance the illusion that the car is proceeding out the same direction even though it’s actually entering a completely different room), which opens to reveal the foyer looking completely clean and normal. “Huh, nothing at all, crisis averted,” says the Cat. Then the foyer parts open; it was actually an image on a curtain.
Up ahead, beyond curvy green walls, is a vast sky and purple sea and rocky spires. Strange birds with books for wings pass by (another Musion effect). “Nope, pure unadulterated fun without any good sense of judgement. C’mon, let’s find that crate.” The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. moves down a wacky-walled hallway and approaches a doorway. On the other side (represented by a screen set a few feet back) is an arena with a bull. The bull runs towards the guests, but the door shuts just in time; the bull’s horns come out through the door. “Okay,” the Cat exclaims in annoyance, “that’s like the third door gag we’ve done today!” Next up is a large toilet on a spire with fire shooting out of its bowl. “You might wanna hold it for a while,” says the Cat. Just above the flame is a chair caught on a chandelier, and a teapot with the Fish in it comes close to sliding off the edge. “This is where they buried my brother!” says the Fish.
“There’s the crate!” shouts the Cat. The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. now moves into the distorted living room and encircles the tornado-creating crate in the center of the room which is creating a tornado. Wind is felt, large purple bubble things are projected zooming around the walls, and household items fly in a circle. The Cat is above the crate, upside down in the tornado’s eye, trying to attach the lock. “Get on there, lock! Boy, this is as intense as the rides at…Universal Studios!” At the mention of that name, the tornado temporarily stops and the projections on the wall switch to logos for Universal Studios Florida and messages like “UPGRADE TO A PARK-TO-PARK TICKET” and “5-MINUTE WALK OR TRAIN RIDE AWAY.” The Cat chuckles, says “Cha-ching!” and the tornado resumes. “Almost there,” says the Cat. Finally he attaches the lock (the lock is actually attached to the crate already and never in his hand, just close to it; the Cat and crate are staged so it looks like he could be holding it). “Got it!” says the Cat, before flying up and out of view. The tornado comes to an end and the crate closes. Then the walls fall apart.
The S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. moves into what’s left of the hallway. The Fish pops out of the now-normal-albeit-damaged toilet and comments, “Oh. My. Cod.” Sparks fly from the exposed wiring. Then triumphant music plays and a shadow rolls onto the wall: it looks like the Cat on some kind of cleaning machine. Sure enough, he is in the next room on his Dynamic Industrial Renovating Tractormajigger—D.I.R.T.—which has multiple robotic arms with gloves reaching over and around the guests to clean up the house. Thing One and Thing Two drive around the guests in their own miniature D.I.R.T.’s. The Cat sings, “Bet you thought I’d gone!/Bet you felt a sting!/Bet you never thought I’d have another song to sing!/But now we’ve one more game left before I hit the road/So let’s fix up the house because we’re nearing the unload! NYUHUHUHU!” The uptempo pop tune from the film’s soundtrack, “Getting Better,” is heard as the S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. passes through the now-fixed house and comes up to a window. The Cat pops up behind the window and says, “Well, we had some good times, we cleaned up the house, we even managed to work in that uptempo pop tune from the soundtrack—that’s important. So come have some fun again because we can’t have fun without…” the music transitions back to a finale of the first song, “‘U’ in the middlllleeee!” And with that, the S.T.A.T.I.O.N.A.R.Y. rotates back forward and pulls into an unload station in the foyer. The Fish, back in his bowl, says, “Good riddance,” before noticing the guests and adding an embarrassed, “Oh. Uh, step out to your left.” Guests exit the car and go back outside while the car returns to load.
[Note: If the vehicle is carrying only one guest, an animatronic of Larry Quinn will pop up shortly before the closet scene and say “I’m gonna marry your mom.”]
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Where once characters from other books would be
Begone are those rides, though not replaced for free
Recreated, remolded, rethemed with such energy
All in the grand name of corporate synergy
No more carousel, the fish are now gone
The trolley still runs, but will not make you yawn
But all those old rides, loved by you and by me
Are now based on a movie from two-thousand-three
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The Flood in the Room
There’s a CAT-astrophe in the living room! The Cat in the Hat let the sink open and now everything is flooded in this whimsical carousel like no other which will replace Caro-Seuss-el.
The ride layout is a small water area. In the center of it, there’s a the Cat in the Hat figure sitting over an old coach, trying to not get wet. The ride itself will work in a similar fashion to Aquatopia, there will be 6 ride vehicles themed to coaches like the ones seen in the movie, and guests will move around the Cat in the Hat figurine, for the 3 minute experience. The movement of the ride vehicle will feel relatively unpredictable and fun for the guests, as it doesn’t follow an specific track.
Thing One, Thing Two, and Thing Trolley
Thing 1 and Thing 2 would like to make you an honorary Thing on a fun adventure through the wacky world of the Cat in the Hat. This attraction will be a take over The High in the Sky Seuss Trolley Train Ride, it will keep the same layout, however with an added twist, the new ride vehicles will have limited spinning, to add some thrill that even the younger ones will enjoy.
Thing One and Thing Two have lost something very precious to them, their favorite coin, so now the guests must embark on a chaotic journey throughout the land to find it. As previously mentioned, the track layout will remain the same, so in order to add some kid friendly thrill as can be expected from an adventure with Thing One and Thing Two, the new ride vehicles will include some limited spinning in the vein of a wild mouse coaster.
What’s in the Hat?
The Cat in the Hat has a brand new trick under his hat: you. This brand new experience will be retheme of One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.
The spinner will be completely rethemed, the pole will be themed to look like a giant version of the Cat’s Hat. There will be six giant Cat arms coming from it, and each arm will be holding a teacup, where the guests will sit. The movements of the spinner will make it look as if the cat was juggling with the guests.
Astounding Products
If you like the wacky the weird and the wild
Or if you simply have the mind of a child
Come be astounded, bewildered, befuddled
In a world where reality is all but muddled
And see the products of Seussian heroes
All in one place where they’re tens or they’re zeroes
You make the vote with your cheers or your boos
At Astounding Productions, the winner you choose
The If I Ran a Zoo Playground is demolished in favor of simple outdoor theatre. There are some bench seats at the back but there is also a matted area in front of them designed for children to sit on.
The stage itself will be themed to a kitchen set for Astounding Products.
Every 90 minutes, the host, the guy in the sweater who asks all the obviously questions, comes out to chat with the guests and to introduce the show!
After interacting with the audience for a little bit, the host introduces the first guest for Astounding Products: Cat!
Cat comes out with his very own “Kupkake-inator” product and chaos ensues! A lot of this scene will play out as it did in the movie but will end before Cat cuts off his tail.
[Guests wishing to see creature violence during their visit will be directed towards Skull Island: Reign of Kong.]
At this point, Cat is ushered off stage as the host gets ready for the next guest.
Throughout the show, various other Dr. Seuss characters are introduced bringing their own Astounding Products ( Grinch with a dog to reindeer transforming kit, Sam-I-Am with Green Eggs and Ham, Horton the Elephant with a megaphone, etc.).
With each new guest, audience feedback (cheers or boos) indicates whether or not the guests like said product.
After that, the host thanks guests for their help and the show ends, getting ready for the next one.
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Shopping, Dining, and Streetmosphere
When visiting lands on an island you must
Find nourishment or your trip will be bust
And that’s why the cupcakes are found all around
At the new bakery that just opened in town
Or perhaps you’re looking for treats you can purchase
Mr. Humberfloob’s is where that fine merch is
In the town of Anville that we saw in the movie
As Mike Myers says, the stores are all “groovy”
The Seuss Landing area gets an upgrade from a cat in a hat that everyone loves. Mike Myers' iconic portrayal of Cat and the city of Anville from 2003’s The Cat in the Hat will be spread throughout the land.
As guests enter the revamped Seuss Landing, they will be greeted into Anville where buildings are painted yellow, purple, and green and everyone dresses in wonderful suits and dresses. Existing buildings have been freshly painted these colors so the infrastructure is not damaged. Guests will also be able to interact with the citizens of Anville in a similar way to the Citizens of Hollywood at Disney’s California Adventure. Guests will be able to interact with these actors as they send them to create new things at
Imagination Maker.
Imagination Maker will take over the Snookers & Snookers Sweet Candy Cookers building making it an enclosed interactive area. Anville citizens will take guests to this area to participate in the Anville Entertainment Contest where guests can make art, dance, sing, and just have fun as the Anville citizens show them around the area. This area makes for a new play area since If I Ran The Zoo is being turned into Astounding Products.
If guests are feeling hungry, they can check out the new cupcake stand that is right next to the entrance of the land.
Hop on Pop Ice Cream shops turns into
Kupkake Central where guests can find cupcakes of all shapes and sizes. The exterior of the building is painted a similar purple to the iconic cupcakes seen in the movie, which can be purchased in this snack shack. Other cupcakes sold are dark chocolate Cat-themed cupcakes, cupcakes with Mrs. Kwan’s face on it, and much more. Cupcakes can be a bit messy, especially in the Florida Heat. That is why Moose Juice, Goose Juice will turn into a new seating area for guests to enjoy their cupcakes without making a mess.
Guests may also want to check out some of the new merchandise in the land themed to the movie.
Humberfloob Real Estate holds all the souvenirs guests can hope for in a Cat in the Hat themed area. Make sure to have clean hands before stepping into this brand-new store.
Both the interior and exterior will be green and have that Anville feel to them. This new store will take over the Mulberry Street Store and sell many items related to the film while still keeping it themed to the Humberfloob building.
Guests can also check out some of the finest entertainment in Anville!
Throughout the day guests can see their favorite characters from the movie all around the land:
If guests feel a bit tired of all the Cat in the Hat themed areas, they don’t have to fret. Circus McGurkus Cafe Stoo-pendous, Green Eggs and Ham Cafe, All the Books You Can Read, and more entertainment options featuring Dr. Seuss characters will still all be present in this newly refurbished Seuss Landing.
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The land is refreshened, all thanks to the Cat
Who was dashing and charming, no doubt about that
And though you may leave for other adventures
You'll remember this island even when you need dentures
So good-bye to Anville and that red-hatted feline
As we leave and reflect on our...
meline... key lime... turpentine... ?
I got nothin'.
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Credits
Seuss Poems: PerGron, monkey921514
Shopping & Dining: NateD1226
Streetmosphere: AceAstro
FUN, FUN FUN!: monkey921514
Other attractions: AceAstro, DisneyFan18
Presentation~ NateD1226, PerGron