Slappy's moral dilemma du jour

[slappy magoo]

For a very short time a few years ago, my sister & her family needed to stay with me, temporarily, at my place. This included a period of time when they went to WDW. And while this was a temporary situation and they haven't lived with me for years, I do, on occasion, get some mail addressed to me.

One such piece of mail was a Disney PIN code.

Now, I'm not asking if I should try to take advantage of the code. Even if I wanted to (and yeah, in a way, I do), we're not a situation to take advantage of any vacation offer, no matter how tempting.

My dilemma is, my sister and her family aren't in a good position to go to WDW either. But she's more of a Disney nut and I am, and if I tell her she's got a PIN code, she might try to move Heaven & Earth to take advantage of it, even though she really shouldn't.

So, should I tell her? Send it to her? Or just let sleeping dogs lie?

 

[DisneyPhD]

My first thought was to just let it go. Then again, if she resisted the latest deals (like 7 for 4 and free dining) then she'd probably be able to resist this one too. :shrug:

 

[tigsmom]

It's her mail so give it to her. It will be up to her to decide what to do from there, you cannot live somebody else's life for them.

 

[njDizFan]

well it sounds like you have to forward it. she has to make her own decision. although, a bit of advice served on the side may be a good idea.

 

[Monty]

She's an adult. Let her live her life. Much as you are wanting to protect her from herself, it's truly not your call and although she'd likely never know, if she found out she'd be more upset than she'd be by either not using the PIN or by any debt she might incur by using it.

 

[Figment632]

Mail it to me and I'll make sure she gets it!

 

[DizneyPryncess]

I think any mail addressed to someone else should be given to them. It's nice that you are looking out for her, and I would probably be in the same dilemma if it were someone in my family. But still, if you don't give it to her & someday it comes out in the open she might be really angry with you.

 

[TubaGeek]

I'm pretty sure you're LEGALLY obligated to send it to her...

 

[figmentmom]

Send it to her, Slappy. What she does with it is up to her. (Give her a little credit.)

 

[djpoore94]

As someone who has watched their SIL get in to financial trouble (and subsequently bailed out by various family) over and over again (no she will never learn if they keep bailing her out, but try to tell the parents that) I would not give it to her. We get mail on occasion for my FIL and unless it is something that legitimately needs his attention, we don't forward it to him. Yes, technically that is a felony, but honestly, it's not like I'm stealing someone's identity or anything of that nature.

 

[JustPlainBill]

I sincerely understand your dilemma. I had a brother who had a severe drug/alcohol problem and I had to make some hard decisions when he asked to borrow money "he said," was for basic needs. I was suspicious the money would go to supply his habit. Not wanting to be an "enabler" I refused many times. I still feel guilty to this day not giving him the money he needed, not knowing if it was the right decision or not.

In your case here with your sister, I think it would be best for you to send her the letter, despite the issues you fear. If she ever found out you threw out her mail it could cause her to mistrust you in the future, even though you only want to protect her. I believe she wouldn't see it from your perspective.

 

[WDWFigment]

The only person properly-situated to make that decision is you. Unfortunately, some people do have to be protected from themselves at some times. Whether you feel you are the one to make such a decision only you can decide. I would probably tell her about the coupon, and make her decide whether to pick it up (if feasible) or instruct you to mail it. To me, that would prevent me from protecting someone from themself (which I personally try to avoid), but still present a nominal barrier to her receipt of the discount.

I think some people here might look at this differently if you received Marlboro coupons addressed to your sister and she were attempting to quit smoking.

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

I'm pretty sure you're LEGALLY obligated to send it to her...

Its a Criminal Offence to with-hold mail (certainly in the UK - so the US is bound to have similar offences)

 

[figmentmom]

The only person properly-situated to make that decision is you. Unfortunately, some people do have to be protected from themselves at some times. Whether you feel you are the one to make such a decision only you can decide. I would probably tell her about the coupon, and make her decide whether to pick it up (if feasible) or instruct you to mail it. To me, that would prevent me from protecting someone from themself (which I personally try to avoid), but still present a nominal barrier to her receipt of the discount.

I think some people here might look at this differently if you received Marlboro coupons addressed to your sister and she were attempting to quit smoking.

A better answer than mine. By asking her if she wants it, you're giving her the choice without actually putting the discount notice in her hands. (And you are soooo right about the Marlboro coupons!)

 

[fosse76]

It is a felony to steal/tamper with the mail. By not forwarding it to her you are technically stealing and therfore committing a felony. While I understand your dilemma and wanting to protect her, It is not your decision, and you have no right to take away her right to decide for herself. Send it to her. Let her decide. We all do things that we shouldn't, and sometimes must face the consequences. But I'd personally rather make a bad choice than have no choice at all.

 

[WDWFigment]

It is a felony to steal/tamper with the mail. By not forwarding it to her you are technically stealing and therfore committing a felony.

The law on the matter is hardly as black and white as this. I think the requirement of "...by fraud or deception obtains, or attempts so to obtain..." is missing here. If something is voluntarily sent to your address, especially in these circumstances, any claim of there being "fraud or deception", and thus and claim of mail tampering, is tough to make. In any case, I don't think slappy was looking for legal advice on the matter.

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

If something is voluntarily sent to your address, especially in these circumstances, any claim of there being "fraud or deception", and thus and claim of mail tampering, is tough to make.

You're forgetting ONE thing - the letter is addressed to somebody - its not a mail-shot or "voluntarily sent"

 

[WDWFigment]

You're forgetting ONE thing - the letter is addressed to somebody - its not a mail-shot or "voluntarily sent"

I'm not forgetting that. It's still voluntarily sent to your address. My reading of the law is that in order for one to engage in mail tampering, one must fraudulently or deceptively cause, or attempt to cause, said mail to arrive in their possession. In other words, some affirmative action is required. Slappy's acquisition of the mail is purely passive.

Of course, reasonable minds might differ on this. That's why I initially said it's not so black and white as "this IS mail tampering."

 

[MickeyDent]

Technically, I think you are actually to return in to the mailbox with "not at this address" or something like that. But here's what I would do.

I would simply tell my sister what she got and then ask he if I could use it if she wasn't able to. May be that she simply would do anything to use the pin code rather than let it expire. If she knows you would get use out of it, it may not be as pressing for her to find a way to go.

Just my 2 cents worth...LOL

 

[kashmir]

Technically, I think you are actually to return in to the mailbox with "not at this address" or something like that. But here's what I would do.

I agree.

I would simply tell my sister what she got and then ask he if I could use it if she wasn't able to. May be that she simply would do anything to use the pin code rather than let it expire. If she knows you would get use out of it, it may not be as pressing for her to find a way to go.

Just my 2 cents worth...LOL

She might be angry that he DIDN"T use it when she didn't...just downplay the statement: "Hey, some Disney mail came for you...did you want to come get it or let it go?"