Question for the ladies regarding an unknown (at least to men) rule of courting.

[Dizknee_Phreek]

Actually I recently read that despite the male of the species putting on the hard unconcerned front and the female being the "emotional one", it's blokes that fall in love faster and take longer to get over lost love.

Really? Well, that's the first I've heard of that! Very interesting indeed! Thanks for sharing! So, is it that males just don't show it as quickly as females?

As for my input, I used to think I'd like a guy to open doors for me, but I went out with a guy once that did just that, and I hated it. In fact, I'd be about to open a door and he'd run in front of me and open it first; or I would open it and he'd be like "what are you doing?! I'm supposed to open that for you!" So I guess that kind of stuff works against my being a feminist.
Also, in less than a week, the guy started talking about picking me up and taking me home from school so he could meet my parents...? I've never had a boyfriend, and I've never brought a guy home for mom and dad to meet...there was no way this guy was going to meet them that fast! We started talking on a Tues., we went to a movie that Fri (that's when the whole door-opening issue came up...he also held my hand twice, which I allowed to happen cause I didn't see the harm in it, but it was still a little too fast for me), then the next day he called me, which was when he talked about meeting my parents, so I broke it off....and the kid cried about it.

So, my advice is to just play it cool...get to know her as a friend first. Cause, if you two can't be friends, it's not going to work out anyway. If you want to see her or talk to her, call her, but don't call her more than, say, 3-4 times in one day. And take things SLOW, unless you can definately tell she's showing some interest. I can't think of anything else, so I'll end it there. Good luck!

 

[Erika]

To ME a guy oversteps the line when one of two things happen...

1. he obviously has little to NO self-esteem

The only thing worse than low self esteem is too much self esteem :hurl:

If you have low self-esteem, you can work at disguising it pretty well. But you just can't fake humility.

 

[Dementia]

The only thing worse than low self esteem is too much self esteem :hurl:

If you have low self-esteem, you can work at disguising it pretty well. But you just can't fake humility.

I dunno... my experience has been the opposite. I like to people watch a LOT, and what I have discovered is that a little arrogance (mind you, everything in moderation) is an actual turn-on, while a guy who has little to no self-esteem is like a pariah.

 

[Erika]

I dunno... my experience has been the opposite. I like to people watch a LOT, and what I have discovered is that a little arrogance (mind you, everything in moderation) is an actual turn-on, while a guy who has little to no self-esteem is like a pariah.

I don't like arrogance from anyone, period- that whole "I'm better than so-and-so" attitude just drives me nuts. But you are right- a LOT of girls like arrogant guys.

I was talking more about the REALLY obnoxious ones, the ones who act like they are doing you a favor just by acknowledging your existance and cannot fathom that you would ever turn down such a gem of a guy! Like we're all just dying to lick their... shoes.

 

[barnum42]

Really? Well, that's the first I've heard of that! Very interesting indeed! Thanks for sharing! So, is it that males just don't show it as quickly as females?

As for my input, I used to think I'd like a guy to open doors for me, but I went out with a guy once that did just that, and I hated it. In fact, I'd be about to open a door and he'd run in front of me and open it first; or I would open it and he'd be like "what are you doing?! I'm supposed to open that for you!" So I guess that kind of stuff works against my being a feminist.

Regarding males showing emotion slower than females - the "cool" persona means he can't be seen to go ga-ga too quickly I would guess and the same thing kicks in when he's dumped.

As for the doors thing, I have be annoyed by more than one raging feminist getting all pi$$y with me for holding a door open for them. It's common manners not to shut it in their face. The rampant feminists have made basic manners and chivalry a mine field for men :lol: If someone has issues with basic manners they need help to balance their lookout on life.

However the chap you dated was a bit extreme. He may just have been a pillock, or possibly lacking in social skills and trying too damn hard to please.

 

[barnum42]

I don't like arrogance from anyone, period-

You still talk to me, so I guess I'm the exception that proves the rule :lol:

 

[Dementia]

I don't like arrogance from anyone, period- that whole "I'm better than so-and-so" attitude just drives me nuts. But you are right- a LOT of girls like arrogant guys.

I was talking more about the REALLY obnoxious ones, the ones who act like they are doing you a favor just by acknowledging your existance and cannot fathom that you would ever turn down such a gem of a guy! Like we're all just dying to lick their... shoes.

Like I said, everything in moderation.. including moderation

 

[WDWScottieBoy]

How about eyeing someone for months and in a way getting to know them through class...and then the day you actually get to spend together you just click and hit it off from the start? And look, 13 months down the road from that night and we're stronger than ever. I can't be any happier than right now.

So Joe, you know if you ever need a guy to talk to...since everyone else is female in here....I'd be willing to talk to you! :wave:

 

[ogryn]

...since everyone else is female in here....

HEY! :fork:

 

[barnum42]

So Joe, you know if you ever need a guy to talk to...since everyone else is female in here....I'd be willing to talk to you! :wave:

Thanks for the offer - I actually started this thread more as a curiosity item based upon the difference between perceptions of actions in a film against perceptions in real life, as opposed to a dating advice thread.

It's proving interesting reading whatever way it flows, and I'm sure I'm not the only bloke who will take interest in the tales that are told and the advice handed dispensed.

 

[barnum42]

HEY! :fork:

Fair's fair - where the ladies congregate you will find OG

 

[Debbie]

I don't like arrogance from anyone, period- that whole "I'm better than so-and-so" attitude just drives me nuts. But you are right- a LOT of girls like arrogant guys.

I was talking more about the REALLY obnoxious ones, the ones who act like they are doing you a favor just by acknowledging your existance and cannot fathom that you would ever turn down such a gem of a guy! Like we're all just dying to lick their... shoes.

Is it just me? The arrogant ones were usually shortchanged: They really have to be careful when they mow the lawn as they could accidentally cut down the wrong little weed.......

 

[Christina]

Things that I despise include...
1) Excessive calling ... I don't like talking on the phone. Period. Do NOT phone me unless you are inviting me out or checking to see what time the movie is or are in dire need of help. Do NOT just phone me to chat. "Hey uh... what's up?"
2) Do not spend more time in the mirror than I do.
3) DONT try to pay for everything, but then again don't expect ME to pay for everything.
4) Don't insult my intelligence. Don't say stupid, sexist things. I'm afraid thats the worse.

There are plenty more, but those are the major things.

 

[Pumbas Nakasak]

I must say you ladies seem mighty easily pleased, either that im as great a catch as i thought I was.

1. Excessive calls, don’t worry I wont call , you might find out what Im doing.
2. Excessive compliments, I wont have noticed in the first place so how the Dickens will I spot a new hair do / dress/ shoes /make over.
3. Independent woman don’t intimidate, Im Scottish and independent woman means she can get her hand in her pooch or pay her way too.
4.Love who cares about luv..... were blokes, (no I wont)
5. good manners harms no one, not even ladies who favour comfortable shoes and dungarees
6. I’m not offended by women’s desire for top line white goods, they should not be offended by my desire for beer footie and loud music.
7. I would not be upset by a woman who’s a better driver than me (unlikely as this may be) they should not be upset that Im a better cook.


One final thing barnum a slap in the kisser last a few seconds, Its the law of averages, ask enough someone will eventually say yes, even if your not a silver tounged cavalier. :drevil: :slurp:

 

[barnum42]

One final thing barnum a slap in the kisser last a few seconds...

Now you know why I wear a gum shield on dates :lol:

 

[Pippa]

Well Barnum and Pumba maybe as we are in the same country I should be "road testing" your dating skills before I get married in October than I can give you a full assessment on manners/chivalry/dress sense etc. I could set up a dating service!!

 

[barnum42]

Well Barnum and Pumba maybe as we are in the same country I should be "road testing" your dating skills before I get married in October than I can give you a full assessment on manners/chivalry/dress sense etc. I could set up a dating service!!

I could have a problem with my dress sense - I've lost so much weight I don't have a lot in my wardrobe any more :sohappy:

 

[epcotfan]

when does a chap cross the line of cute courting to annoying pain in the ?

When they use the "L" word after two dates. :lookaroun YIKES.

 

[barnum42]

When they use the "L" word after two dates. :lookaroun YIKES.

So would the "L" word's premature use be seen as proof that males fall in "L" faster than females, or that they will say what they think the female will want to hear in order to get some action?

 

[epcotfan]

I think in some instances men are infatuated much more quickly than woman are. But those types generally fall out of infatuation just as fast. They like the thrill of the hunt. But I do agree that some men will say whatever they think women want to hear to get some booty.