Question for the ladies regarding an unknown (at least to men) rule of courting.

[barnum42]

Question for the ladies regarding an unknown (at least to men) rule of courting.

I’ve previously joked that in Chick Flicks girls think the guy who does not take no for an answer but continues to pursue the leading lady is cute, but when we men try this in real life we get labelled “Stalker!” :lol:

So, from your experience of these situations outside of the Hollywood fictious realm, when does a chap cross the line of cute courting to annoying pain in the ? I'm sure you have this included in the unwritten set of rules that is kept secret from all humans of the male persuation :lol:

(Not that I currently find myself in a similar situation or anything approaching it.) :lookaroun

 

[Erika]

Showing up unexpectedly or anything involving an exorbitant amount of money is generally a little creepy :lookaroun

 

[barnum42]

anything involving an exorbitant amount of money is generally a little creepy :lookaroun

We're talking about me here! Exorbitant amounts of money? :lol: Though the tickets to Chicago were not the cheapest I've ever bought from that theatre. However she paid for dinner afterwards (Yay for equality :sohappy: )

 

[Erika]

We're talking about me here! Exorbitant amounts of money? :lol: Though the tickets to Chicago were not the cheapest I've ever bought from that theatre. However she paid for dinner afterwards (Yay for equality :sohappy: )

LOL Awwwwwwwww, well, you obviously have some sort of relationship with her already so you don't have to worry about being one of THOSE guys. Just pay attention to the little things she says and make an effort to learn about her. That kind of information can come in handy down the road for inexpensive, non-creepy gift giving.

 

[Laura]

I didn't use to like it when a guy seemed like he had nothing better to do than pay attention to me. Made him seem pathetic, like he had no life. I was more drawn to guys who always had something exciting going on, but yet they would find creative ways to work me into their schedules. I've been with my husband since I was 14, he used to be super busy all the time in high school, but in order to spend time with me he'd just bring me along on his errands and stuff like that. Once he even quit his part time job because he wanted to drop by and visit me.

 

[stranger]

We're talking about me here! Exorbitant amounts of money? :lol: Though the tickets to Chicago were not the cheapest I've ever bought from that theatre. However she paid for dinner afterwards (Yay for equality :sohappy: )

When on a date and things are going good, I will offer to pay. Say we're at the movies he pays for my ticket, I'll be more than happy to pay for the snacks.

 

[stranger]

Showing up unexpectedly or anything involving an exorbitant amount of money is generally a little creepy :lookaroun

Let me add an excessive amount of phone calls and if you leave a message, keep it short and simple. Here is an experience I had (I’m sure you would not act like this, Barnum)...I went on a couple of dates with a guy and things were going slow but smooth. He at first would call me once a day…Fine!
I usually keep my cell on vibrate, so I don’t always pick up the phone, but I am really good at returning them (if I like the person :lol: ) . I think this annoyed him because he started calling my cell about 6-8 times a day and each message got creepier and creepier. One of them he said, “Pick up, pick up, pick up!! If you have a cell, why don’t you PICK UP!” If that isn’t creepy, then I don’t know what is. So, umm, good luck there Barnum. :lol:

 

[Atta83]

Let me add an excessive amount of phone calls and if you leave a message, keep it short and simple. Here is an experience I had (I’m sure you would not act like this, Barnum)...I went on a couple of dates with a guy and things were going slow but smooth. He at first would call me once a day…Fine!
I usually keep my cell on vibrate, so I don’t always pick up the phone, but I am really good at returning them (if I like the person :lol: ) . I think this annoyed him because he started calling my cell about 6-8 times a day and each message got creepier and creepier. One of them he said, “Pick up, pick up, pick up!! If you have a cell, why don’t you PICK UP!” If that isn’t creepy, then I don’t know what is. So, umm, good luck there Barnum. :lol:

O i can agree on teh excess calling , I hate that. Thats why you leave a messgage duh!!! I once had a guy on the cp show up at my door all the time after he got off work, I mean sometimes I wouldnt be home , thank goodness, or I would be home believe I was there and ask to see my room. I hid in my trunk in my closet that time and another time me and my friend hid in the bathroom when he wanted to conduct his little search...creepy......

 

[stranger]

O i can agree on teh excess calling , I hate that. Thats why you leave a messgage duh!!! I once had a guy on the cp show up at my door all the time after he got off work, I mean sometimes I wouldnt be home , thank goodness, or I would be home believe I was there and ask to see my room. I hid in my trunk in my closet that time and another time me and my friend hid in the bathroom when he wanted to conduct his little search...creepy......

Oh, WOW!!
He had no right to want to check your room. Your friend, or whoever answered the door should've just closed the door in his face. Creepy!

 

[barnum42]

Some interesting experiences have been had by the ladies, thanks for sharing. I was hoping there would be some sharing of funny tales. OK maybe the creepy guys were not funny at the time, but I'm sure you can now look back and laugh at them.

 

[sillyspook13]

The woman doesn't like it when the man only wants to do what she is interested in (I broke up with a guy for this very reason...). Dates should include the interests of both.

Once again, hooray for equality! :sohappy:

 

[barnum42]

The woman doesn't like it when the man only wants to do what she is interested in

I can see how that would get him labelled "Wuss".

So....wonna' go to to Disney World with me? :lol:

 

[Debbie]

It creeped me out when I'd be out and a guy would try to 'make the rap' and he would try to fence me in while he was talking. Say, I was against a wall or a bar and he would lean on the wall right next to me within inches. It would send me a signal that he wouldn't let me go until he was finished talking; and if he could control me then; what about 5 years down the road.

 

[barnum42]

It creeped me out when I'd be out and a guy would try to 'make the rap' and he would try to fence me in while he was talking.

Not come across that term 'make the rap'. I gather it's a variation on "chat up"

 

[Dementia]

To ME a guy oversteps the line when one of two things happen...

1. he obviously has little to NO self-esteem
2. he invades my personal space.

(which basically sums up everything that's been said)

other than that he can spoil me and pursue me all he wants

(*likes the hunt*)

 

[Pippa]

And don't start mentioning babies, future grandchildren or the L word too soon, just like my ex husband did.

Why did I marry him again?? :hammer:

 

[barnum42]

And don't start mentioning babies, future grandchildren or the L word too soon, just like my ex husband did.

The "L" word?

What? "Lingerie"?

 

[Pippa]

Well we all know whats on your mind now don't we!!

 

[ogryn]

Well we all know whats on your mind now don't we!!

He's male. It's always on his mind

 

[barnum42]

Well we all know whats on your mind now don't we!!

What? Me? *acts all innocent*

Actually I recently read that despite the male of the species putting on the hard unconcerned front and the female being the "emotional one", it's blokes that fall in love faster and take longer to get over lost love.