Personally, my DW and I never took a vacation without our DS until he went off to college that was just our choice. I know many other couples that do, so it is your choice.
From my own experience, I can say I had an aunt and uncle who would always leave their three kids with my mom and dad while they went off for a getaway to Atlantic City, Saratoga or Las Vegas. They never took their kids anywhere. My cousins put their parents in “Crappy Acres” retirement home first chance they got and were a lot more emotional at my parent’s funerals then their own parents. My mother used to say, “What goes around comes around.” That is true story but on a serious note a trip alone once in a while is good for everyone, everything in moderation, enjoy.
You can also bet that husbands and wives from past generations never went anywhere without their entire family. No one, even as far back as my generation ever considered our children something to get away from. We created them and along with that came responsibilities to incorporate them in our lives. The ain't heavy they're our children. You only have to go back three generations until you have most families never leaving a 25 mile radius of their homes. Transportation was not dependable, there was no Disney to go to until 1955 and even though once in awhile we did go to events that were adults only, it would never even occur to use to go to a place like Disney without the kids. If we don't want them around, why did we have them.First off, 10 year olds think anything that they want and don't get makes their parents mean. Trust me when I tell you that Moms from generations past could have cared less that their kids thought that they were mean. Second, just because you have children does not mean that you are slaves to them and do not have your own life anymore. Especially after the infant stage of their lives. I travel annually without my kids. They know that Mom has her own life too and frankly, I think it is helping my daughters to know that you can be a part of a family and still be true to yourself. I have seen so many people that are unhappy with their lives because they try to be and do too much for others and do not take time for themselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with going on a vacation with your spouse(or yourself) without the kids. That is what grandparents are for. And do not even think of feeling 1 shred of guilt over it.
I agree that it depends on the where and the why. It is deeper then being mean, it is going to a place that you know your child would love. It is prime example of rejection since there is no reason to do that other then "we don't want you with us". Kids are a lot more aware then you may think. Age is important in this discussion. Before age 4 or 5 very little harm will come from it. After that one is setting themselves up for years of problems.Yes you need to have spouse only trips for strengthen your bonds and having time to relax. Of course your child would say youre being mean leaving him home because its a Disney trip. He sees that location as being a family destination that should include him. We always went to WDW with DS and wouldnt think of going without him. It was our only time to enjoy family vacation time together as he was growing up. Our trips without him first came after he became an adult and moved out. I dont think its necessarily mean to go to WDW without him but I can see his thinking it unfair. If it were me I might have chosen a different destination.
Whenever I take my kid to school I tell him that I am going to spend the day at Disney.My wife and I have done an adult trip to WDW a couple of times. We’re planning another one, and our ten year old son says we’re mean (even though we take him at least once a year.)
That is simply not true. Just because you are not glued to your kids side doesn't mean they will have "issues". That is silly. My teenagers are just fine and we all have great relationships with each other and we go places without them. I personally go to WDW every fall without them and they are not "messed up" in any way. I raised my kids, we did not put them in daycare. I have spent more time with them growing up then most people do with their own kids. I don't feel like I need to "get away " from them. But I also know that we can all survive with out each other for a few days a year.No, you don't need that. If your bonds are not strong it won't matter where you are or who is with you... you're in trouble. However, I agree that it depends on the where and the why. It is deeper then being mean, it is going to a place that you know your child would love. It is prime example of rejection since there is no reason to do that other then "we don't want you with us". Kids are a lot more aware then you may think. Age is important in this discussion. Before age 4 or 5 very little harm will come from it. After that one is setting themselves up for years of problems.
I probably would have left the destination out of it as far as the kids are concerned and just went on a "mom and dad" getaway.
This is a great discussion with a lot of good points. Just to be clear to a couple of posters in this thread, I'm Dad, not Mom. Also, I want to make sure everyone knows that my ten year old is NOT really calling us mean. It's more of a sarcastic, joking "you're killing me here, Dad."
From personal experience, WDW is a fantastic destination with or without kids. The great thing is that it's two totally different experiences, each with their own precious memories. We love bringing our kids and do so at least once a year, but every now and then, Mom and Dad want to experience the magic with no kiddos. One memory maker was on our first trip together alone to WDW in March 2011. We were hanging out at MK during EMH at 2am! Our kids would never last that long, well, at least not now. Also, that was the first time we ever stayed on property (POFQ) and decided that one day we'd be DVC members, which we did in 2015. (Yeah, that's not a DVC resort, but it sold us on never staying off property again.) So awesome!
We will see because contrary to recent generations this is an old situation, It is not, enough has not gone by yet to know if it will cause some people problems later in life. Just because you don't think so, doesn't make it anymore true then my saying that it will. Enough time has not passed to figure it out. I just personally, cannot wrap my head around why people feel that they have to get "away" from their children. It just seem completely self involved to me. Do as you please, it was just my opinion, time will tell.That is simply not true. Just because you are not glued to your kids side doesn't mean they will have "issues". That is silly. My teenagers are just fine and we all have great relationships with each other and we go places without them. I personally go to WDW every fall without them and they are not "messed up" in any way. I raised my kids, we did not put them in daycare. I have spent more time with them growing up then most people do with their own kids. I don't feel like I need to "get away " from them. But I also know that we can all survive with out each other for a few days a year.
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