Poll: Adult Trips to WDW.

[MickeyMomV]

We are going as a family over spring break and then the DH and I are going down 3-4 weeks later for our anniversary. This is our second trip without him. The first was when the DS was 8. I still don't think he knows we went there. Told him we went to Florida but just to the beach. He knows where we are going this time.....

 

[jaklgreen]

I suspect you could answer this as well as I can. It is a destination designed specifically for children. And, more to the point here, children really really like to go. Like, a lot. Well, most of them. There are exceptions.



Animal Kingdom seems more adult friendly too. But does not change the fact the WDW is aimed primarily at kids. Well, kids and families. Because it is the parents that fund the trips.



Society dictates/judges all the time what is right and wrong for kids. And popular opinion often dictates the law. Used to be you could beat your child with a switch (or in my case, my dad used a belt). Now, you get a visit from CPS. And no, I am not equating a vacation without kids to child beatings. I am just pointing out societal opinions affect what we deem appropriate with children.

And, I stand by my statement. Going to WDW without your kids is cruel. It hurts them, and it is reasonable for them to be hurt. You can try to debate it away all you want, but it is selfish and cruel. Just own it. It is pretty crappy parenting in only my opinion. Well, that and of several others.

As always, there are exception. Sure. If you go 4 times a year and skip one, probably not cruel. If your kids would rather play video games alone for a week, then again, probably not cruel.

But if they want to go, and you ditch them, it is cruel. The more I think about it, it is just weird.



Congrats, that is a great accomplishment. It sounds to me like you are doing it right. Like I said earlier, two close together trips to WDW, one with kids, one without, is probably fine. ...I'd do the one without first.

So in your mind only families should go to WDW. What about all of those people without kids, or grown children. Should they never go? I disagree that WDW is primarily for kids. It is for everyone. If you have not seen all there is to do as an adult then you are not paying attention. There is plenty to do without kids. Maybe they should close down Jellyrolls, that is for adults only. They probably should do away with all of the food and wine events. Those are geared toward adults. I think the problem is that you are so focused on the child aspect of the parks that you are not seeing everything else.

 

[21stamps]

I suspect you could answer this as well as I can. It is a destination designed specifically for children. And, more to the point here, children really really like to go. Like, a lot. Well, most of them. There are exceptions.



Animal Kingdom seems more adult friendly too. But does not change the fact the WDW is aimed primarily at kids. Well, kids and families. Because it is the parents that fund the trips.



Society dictates/judges all the time what is right and wrong for kids. And popular opinion often dictates the law. Used to be you could beat your child with a switch (or in my case, my dad used a belt). Now, you get a visit from CPS. And no, I am not equating a vacation without kids to child beatings. I am just pointing out societal opinions affect what we deem appropriate with children.

And, I stand by my statement. Going to WDW without your kids is cruel. It hurts them, and it is reasonable for them to be hurt. You can try to debate it away all you want, but it is selfish and cruel. Just own it. It is pretty crappy parenting in only my opinion. Well, that and of several others.

As always, there are exception. Sure. If you go 4 times a year and skip one, probably not cruel. If your kids would rather play video games alone for a week, then again, probably not cruel.

But if they want to go, and you ditch them, it is cruel. The more I think about it, it is just weird.



Congrats, that is a great accomplishment. It sounds to me like you are doing it right. Like I said earlier, two close together trips to WDW, one with kids, one without, is probably fine. ...I'd do the one without first.

Had hurricane Irma not happened I would have been at F&W with my girlfriends,7 year old at home. I wasn’t planning on taking him at all in 2017.
I did that every year before he was born. Absolutely had a great time without kids on our trips.

 

[jaklgreen]

But if they want to go, and you ditch them, it is cruel. The more I think about it, it is just weird.

I think it is an important lesson for kids to learn that they can't always have what they want. Otherwise if you raise them as if the whole world caters to them, you are setting them up for major disappointments. To me, that is cruel.

 

[21stamps]

I think it is an important lesson for kids to learn that they can't always have what they want. Otherwise if you raise them as if the whole world caters to them, you are setting them up for major disappointments. To me, that is cruel.

I don’t know about other people’s children, but WDW is not the end all be all for my child. It wasn’t for me as a child either.
I loved Disney, but I loved other places as well. When my parents went off on their trips to the Bahamas or Grand Cayman etc, of course part of me wished I could go. However, I understood that it was THEIR trip. We did plenty as a family together. I was happy for them, I loved seeing the photos and hearing about their trip afterwards. I’m not scarred, and I’m not aware of my brother or sister facing abandonment issues as a result of our mom & dad’s annual “couple” trips.

I think families know themselves, and what decisions work for them. I don’t think there’s ever a reason to feel guilty, unless you’re leaving your child home during all vacations.

 

[jloucks]

So in your mind only families should go to WDW. What about all of those people without kids, or grown children. Should they never go? I disagree that WDW is primarily for kids. It is for everyone. If you have not seen all there is to do as an adult then you are not paying attention. There is plenty to do without kids. Maybe they should close down Jellyrolls, that is for adults only. They probably should do away with all of the food and wine events. Those are geared toward adults. I think the problem is that you are so focused on the child aspect of the parks that you are not seeing everything else.

Yes, adults going to WDW, especially alone, is weird (I have heard a single justification that shamed me a little, but for the most part, it's weird). Let me toss in right quick, I do weird stuff too. I go to Comic cons alone, and that too is weird. Again, just own it. People cannot seem to do that anymore. I blame the social justice movement. Nothing is abnormal, everything should be embraced. ...so long as it doesn't hurt anybody. And they mean anybody. Except maybe republicans.

People also cannot seem to understand probability and percentages. In a world of grey, this is a hugely beneficial ability. Some of these are very simple observations. Look around WDW when you are there, and draw some easy basic conclusions. Look at the adult to child rations. Look at the age demographics. Observe the solo adult levels and quick compare it to the solo child levels (the latter always correlated to the prior). It's not rocket science to discern what is normal and what is abnormal. Rookie mistake: assuming you are normal. Or average. Whatever word you what to use here. You have to look at other to determine normal. Normal can change over time btw, what is normal 50 years ago may not be today.

Huge sidetrack, my kids school has a furry movement going on. Young adults want to wear giant furry costumes and have it accepted as normal and accepted. Sorry, but it is just weird. No matter how progressive I want to be, it is super weird. Weirder even than solo adults at WDW. * oh no he didn't*

 

[jloucks]

I think it is an important lesson for kids to learn that they can't always have what they want. Otherwise if you raise them as if the whole world caters to them, you are setting them up for major disappointments. To me, that is cruel.

You are absolutely correct. But choosing something as lifelong memory generating as WDW is not the way to go. There are far superior ways to do this. Financial responsibility training is far better at teaching this. Also, being vulnerable with your kids is effective.

 

[jaklgreen]

Yes, adults going to WDW, especially alone, is weird (I have heard a single justification that shamed me a little, but for the most part, it's weird). Let me toss in right quick, I do weird stuff too. I go to Comic cons alone, and that too is weird. Again, just own it. People cannot seem to do that anymore. I blame the social justice movement. Nothing is abnormal, everything should be embraced. ...so long as it doesn't hurt anybody. And they mean anybody. Except maybe republicans.

People also cannot seem to understand probability and percentages. In a world of grey, this is a hugely beneficial ability. Some of these are very simple observations. Look around WDW when you are there, and draw some easy basic conclusions. Look at the adult to child rations. Look at the age demographics. Observe the solo adult levels and quick compare it to the solo child levels (the latter always correlated to the prior). It's not rocket science to discern what is normal and what is abnormal. Rookie mistake: assuming you are normal. Or average. Whatever word you what to use here. You have to look at other to determine normal. Normal can change over time btw, what is normal 50 years ago may not be today.

Huge sidetrack, my kids school has a furry movement going on. Young adults want to wear giant furry costumes and have it accepted as normal and accepted. Sorry, but it is just weird. No matter how progressive I want to be, it is super weird. Weirder even than solo adults at WDW. * oh no he didn't*

I think in the past going to WDW was mostly a family destination. But now with all of the festivals, they are targeting more of an adult base. Over the years I have seen many more non-child groups go to WDW. So at one point it might have been weird to go without kids, but I don't think that is true anymore.

 

[Goofyernmost]

How is going to WDW any different then going anywhere else? My kids have been plenty of times and frankly, my oldest can take it or leave it. When it comes to my trip in the fall she says "bye, have fun". They seriously are not traumatized in any way. I think some of you are under the misconception that WDW is ONLY for children. Nothing about the food and wine fest screams child entertainment. You can decide what is right for your family, but don't tell others that they are being cruel to their kids for going on vacation without them to WDW. Whatever, my kids are very well adjusted, do well in school, and talk to us about anything. My kids have been to Chicago at least a dozen times, also California, Minnesota, Missouri, Iowa, on 6 cruises and WDW too many times to count. They are not missing out on anything.

I think if you take a second and really think about it, think about how your children would feel, think about how all you are thinking about is yourself, how part of your job as a parent it to make your children feel wanted, loved and cared about you would easily see the difference between a place like WDW and anyplace else. It has nothing at all to do with whether or not Disney isn't for just kids. Believe me there will come a time when you will have no choice but to go without them and maybe then you will realize the difference. The saying goes, "I can explain it to you, but, I cannot make you understand it". Frankly, in today's society it is not at all surprising that the "ME FIRST" mentality is prevalent.

 

[jloucks]

You are absolutely correct. But choosing something as lifelong memory generating as WDW is not the way to go. There are far superior ways to do this. Financial responsibility training is far better at teaching this. Also, being vulnerable with your kids is effective.

Vulnerability Example: if you made a trip to WDW and left your kids behind, go ahead and sincerely apologize. It's not too late. Tell them that you love them and it was poor judgement. Parents aren't perfect. We have, do, and will mess up. What is important is that everyone is better off from it. I.e. Learn from it and make course corrections.

Lol, that is a lot of expensive therapy I am giving you for free!

 

[JIMINYCR]

Yes, but it doesn't have to be at WDW without the kids. There are multiple places for couples to go to try and re-establish that healthy relationship. The discussion was about going to WDW without the kids, not the idea that a short adult get away isn't a good thing. Again I will repeat, I wouldn't chose a place like Disney to get away from young children. Not that a get away might not help a relationship, but, like so many thing... location, location, location!

Reread you reply to me.. You said....No, you don't need that. If your bonds are not strong it won't matter where you are or who is with you... you're in trouble.
Again my point was couples need their alone together time and it will in many cases help relationships. As I stated before, DW & I never took trips to WDW without our DS until he became an adult...and I agree with you it should be a destination with your child along. My last line was... If it were me I might have chosen a different destination.

 

[Goofyernmost]

Reread you reply to me.. You said....No, you don't need that. If your bonds are not strong it won't matter where you are or who is with you... you're in trouble.
Again my point was couples need their alone together time and it will in many cases help relationships. As I stated before, DW & I never took trips to WDW without our DS until he became an adult...and I agree with you it should be a destination with your child along. My last line was... If it were me I might have chosen a different destination.

Then this isn't about you. There were a lot of posts and perhaps I confused something I read on another post with yours. I was never really talking about how occasionally couples need to have some down time (not a long time, but some) to rebuild relationships that seem to be overwhelmed by the job, and it is a big job, of raising ones children can be. And so you know, it doesn't stop just because they have grown up. I am, however, here to tell you that what you do, how you do it and when and where you do those "time outs" will come back at some point and if you did it wrong, it will not be pretty.

That said, if I confused you with someone else, I apologize, my whole point has been not so much if it is OK to do things without our children, it is where you do those things that make the difference. I'm going to go back and change that response, just that part of if, because it didn't come across the way I intended it too. Sorry!

 

[jaklgreen]

I think if you take a second and really think about it, think about how your children would feel, think about how all you are thinking about is yourself, how part of your job as a parent it to make your children feel wanted, loved and cared about you would easily see the difference between a place like WDW and anyplace else. It has nothing at all to do with whether or not Disney isn't for just kids. Believe me there will come a time when you will have no choice but to go without them and maybe then you will realize the difference. The saying goes, "I can explain it to you, but, I cannot make you understand it". Frankly, in today's society it is not at all surprising that the "ME FIRST" mentality is prevalent.

You don't know my family. We are the opposite of me me me mentality. My kids go every year to WDW, plus we travel to other places. My kids know they are loved and have no hurt feelings or think they are neglected because I do something for myself. In fact, it is the opposite. They see that mom can love them and be a wife and mother but also be her own person. This is just blatant mom shaming. NO ONE questions a man when he wants to go on his fishing trip with his buddies. NO ONE calls him a bad father or says he does not love his kids or that he is neglecting them. YOU think about it. Shame on YOU.

 

[jaklgreen]

Then this isn't about you. There were a lot of posts and perhaps I confused something I read on another post with yours. I was never really talking about how occasionally couples need to have some down time (not a long time, but some) to rebuild relationships that seem to be overwhelmed by the job, and it is a big job, of raising ones children can be. And so you know, it doesn't stop just because they have grown up. I am, however, here to tell you that what you do, how you do it and when and where you do those "time outs" will come back at some point and if you did it wrong, it will not be pretty.

That said, if I confused you with someone else, I apologize, my whole point has been not so much if it is OK to do things without our children, it is where you do those things that make the difference. I'm going to go back and change that response, just that part of if, because it didn't come across the way I intended it too. Sorry!

Your way of thinking that the kids will be mentally scarred because the parents did not spend every single second of their lives catering to and fawning over them is the flawed mentality. Making the kids the center of the universe is what is turning kids into entitled little brats. A family can have a balance between family time and personal time and couple time. There is nothing wrong with that and it is healthier then making your whole life just about your kids.

 

[21stamps]

Your way of thinking that the kids will be mentally scarred because the parents did not spend every single second of their lives catering to and fawning over them is the flawed mentality. Making the kids the center of the universe is what is turning kids into entitled little brats. A family can have a balance between family time and personal time and couple time. There is nothing wrong with that and it is healthier then making your whole life just about your kids.

Sometimes I disagree with you on certain subjects, and other times I STRONGLY AGREE with you.

Vulnerability Example: if you made a trip to WDW and left your kids behind, go ahead and sincerely apologize. It's not too late. Tell them that you love them and it was poor judgement. Parents aren't perfect. We have, do, and will mess up. What is important is that everyone is better off from it. I.e. Learn from it and make course corrections.

Lol, that is a lot of expensive therapy I am giving you for free!

This is crazy to me. If my child ever thinks I would owe an apology to a KID for having some adult time, that would be the day when I would reevaluate how my parenting could have produced a child who felt like he needed an apology.. how I could have made a child who was so spoiled and demanding, and even worse, a kid who obviously doesn’t respect me.

If my kid couldn’t understand that the world doesn’t only revolve around him, that’s when I would apologize. For failing as a parent and misleading him to that selfish way of thinking.

Taking him on entertainment outings weekly- check.
Attending 3-5 sporting events per week-check.
Getting up at 5:45am on Sundays to drive 45 minutes to soccer practice-check.
Several weekend trips per year-check.
Annual 10+ day vacations- check.
Apologizing if Mom wants to go to F&W for a couple of nights? Hell No.

 

[Goofyernmost]

Your way of thinking that the kids will be mentally scarred because the parents did not spend every single second of their lives catering to and fawning over them is the flawed mentality. Making the kids the center of the universe is what is turning kids into entitled little brats. A family can have a balance between family time and personal time and couple time. There is nothing wrong with that and it is healthier then making your whole life just about your kids.

Not sure where I ever said that, but, in everyone's haste to prevent themselves from feeling guilty about something that they know is wrong, you have all missed the point and it's connection to going to a place like WDW without them. Somethings are gray, in my mind, this is absolutely black and white and if some of you had read the rest of my posts on the subject you would know that. So I'm, as I usually do, when I'm tired of talking to people that don't want to listen or even pay attention to what was said, am signing off. Talk among yourselves. Hope your kids don't remember that time you did that, because I'm here to tell you that they usually never forget anything.

 

[trainplane3]

Parents went to WDW a couple times when I was a little. I asked them why each time, they said they just wanted to go by themselves to do more adult stuff down there. I didn't complain since I got a week break from them and stayed at grandmas (stay up late, cookies, and play with grandpas trains?! Deal!). We've never had any issues with each other, I guess I was lucky to understand my parents sometimes want to do stuff by themselves. I ended up fine and unscarred...aside from a Lego and computer addiction plus a need to put more money into my car.

 

[DfromATX]

We've never gone without our kids, but I'm sure we will do that sometime. What we did do once was not take our then 6 year old. Between us we have 4 kids and he's the youngest. On our 2nd Disney trip, he announced that he didn't want to go. (I know, like what??) So... we asked him if he'd rather go to his grandma's while the rest of us went and he said yes, so that's what we did! Lots of other people said we were mean for doing that, but my mom said he didn't miss us at all and they had a great time. He's 15 now and has gone lots of times in between, but we still laugh about that. I guess that means he really loves his grandma!

 

[NelleBelle]

So we talked to our kids about going and they actually did not want to miss school, since it is at the end of the school year, I was very impressed, they are really looking forward to staying with Grandma and having a good time, I would NEVER lie to my kids personally

This was the case with my oldest DS. We had a Disney cruise booked for this Jan. to St. Kitts/Aruba and he asked not to go stating he did not want to miss any school--he's in 8th grade. He told us this last year when he was in 7th grade. I was floored as both by kids LOVE Disney, especially the DCL! I decided to rebook that Disney cruise for the transatlantic crossing this past Sept. for in honor of DH and my 15th anniversary. We asked both of our kids what they thought, if they minded, etc? Neither one cared one bit that we left. Both sets of grandparents spoiled them rotten, had sleepovers with friends, etc.

Our kids have traveled all over and like @jaklgreen's kids, have been to WDW many times and have done several Disney cruises. They have decided on their own that they would rather not miss school for vacations and didn't care that mom & dad had a Disney cruise, sans kids (and, I will add, 90% of that cruise was sans kids with adults of varying ages). I will be planning my own trip to WDW without my kids for the first time next Jan. to do the marathon. My DH doesn't want to run this one again and we will have just been there this summer. I wish my kids were old enough to run the marathon with me (oldest has no desire and youngest is not old enough). For us, we go to WDW/DLR/DCL frequently enough that if they miss one trip, it's no big deal--there is another one around the corner (mom is addicted after all)! I think what's important is that not everyone's experience is the same. Not every family is the same. Some kids will have an absolute snit fit if their parent(s) took off on by themselves to Disney for a vacation, other's could care less. Just because one person has one type of experience doesn't mean everyone will fit that mold and to try and place everyone into that same mold just doesn't seem right.