Poll: Adult Trips to WDW.

[21stamps]

My parents left me, and then eventually all 3 of their children, for 10-12 days every year for their anniversary. Yes, sometimes I wished that I could be on whatever beach or cruise with them, but I got to eat a lot of cookies at Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
And.. I always looked forward to my presents/souvenirs upon their return.

If your vacation time allows for family and adult only trips, take advantage of it!!

 

[21stamps]

You can also bet that husbands and wives from past generations never went anywhere without their entire family. No one, even as far back as my generation ever considered our children something to get away from. We created them and along with that came responsibilities to incorporate them in our lives. The ain't heavy they're our children. You only have to go back three generations until you have most families never leaving a 25 mile radius of their homes. Transportation was not dependable, there was no Disney to go to until 1955 and even though once in awhile we did go to events that were adults only, it would never even occur to use to go to a place like Disney without the kids. If we don't want them around, why did we have them.

I’m 40. How far back are we talking? I’m pretty sure my Mom’s parents took vacations without their 4 kids as well.

 

[danheaton]

I think it's okay, though I haven't done it beyond a day when my older daughter was only 2. I think it's fine for a really short trip, but I wouldn't do it for a longer vacation. I'm speaking hypothetically, as we've never taken a long trip without the kids. But in theory I think it's totally fine.

 

[Goofyernmost]

I’m 40. How far back are we talking? I’m pretty sure my Mom’s parents took vacations without their 4 kids as well.

Did they go to WDW? That is the point of this discussion. And I took time with my wife as well, but, not at WDW, a place that the kids would have loved to go. We did short golfing vacations the kids really didn't want to go too. Why do we keep skidding off topic and generalizing instead of talking about the topic. "Adult Trips to WDW".

 

[jloucks]

We will see because contrary to recent generations this is an old situation, It is not, enough has not gone by yet to know if it will cause some people problems later in life. Just because you don't think so, doesn't make it anymore true then my saying that it will. Enough time has not passed to figure it out. I just personally, cannot wrap my head around why people feel that they have to get "away" from their children. It just seem completely self involved to me. Do as you please, it was just my opinion, time will tell.

100% agree. Kids are a big deal. Not a move to take lightly. If you intentionally have kids you need to like them enough to take them with you to a kid friendly destination. Good grief, yea, I would have serious issues today with my parents if they pulled this stunt.

 

[jloucks]

People "get away" as you put it, from their kids all the time for various reasons. Some have to travel for work, some are in the military and are sent away, some are divorced and get a job in another city. Children adjust to life and are not scarred for it. BTW, my 15 and 16 year old read this thread and laughed at the response that they could somehow be "harmed" because I go to WDW without them. I am not saying we are perfect, but we are a far cry from anything close to dysfunctional for having gone on vacation. So I want to ask you, if it is so bad for families to be separated, how about those kids that go to sleep away summer camp? That is them going on vacation without their parents. Are all of those kids messed up because they were away from their parents for a week?

Kids are not scarred by divorce? By parents being in the military? By parents with parents that travel for work? By parents going on fantastical vacation to Disney World and leaving them behind? Those kids have some rock solid psyches.

In my opinion all of the above are dysfunctional behaviors. I suppose if you took two Disney trips, close together, and only one was adults only, it might be ok. Ok-ish.

Just because you don't have a choice in a behavior, does not prevent it from being dysfunctional.

 

[jloucks]

There is nothing wrong with going to WDW sans kids. All this " they will be damaged" stuff is nothing but typical excuse making. Kids behavior isnt molded by mommy and daddy taking a trip to WDW without them. Geez. Can you think of anything more ridiculous to use as an excuse for poor behavior? If you are good parents at home, show your children love and that respect is mutual, help them learn to make good decisions, arm them witht he ability to stand on their own two feet and have a happy and successful life, support them in their endeavors, etc. You are doing a great job as a parent and much more than most parents are doing these days. Seems more and more they are self absorbed and teach kids the "me" and I "deserve" concepts. Going to WDW on your own as parents is not even close to being a bad thing or a viable "excuse" for how someone acts when they grow up.

That depends on how you define wrong. Deciding to go to a children's wonderland, and leaving them home, can be reasonably construed as cruel.

Cruel is wrong.

How much time have you spent in therapy understanding how people work? I am guessing zero. I have spent years. Mainly trying to figure out how my father, who pulled these stunts constantly, affected me today.

Yes, the stuff you do with, or to, your children affect them for the rest of their lives. I can't think of a more horrific example of a destination to abandon your kids for. I guess maybe you could do it on their birthday or over the holidays. That would for sure land them in therapy later.

 

[jloucks]

That's not something a ten year old should be expected to understand.

If you REALLY want to go to WDW without your WDW-obsessed kid, I think the only way to do it is to not tell him. Tell him that you and your spouse are going on an adults trip just the two of you, but you don't tell him where.

Not only wont they understand it, but they will ultimately resent it. Yea but lying to your kids about something like this should be a big ole red flag that you are about to dik something up.

 

[Pirate Magic]

I don't think I could take a trip to WDW without including the kids because what makes Disney so special for me is the happy family time, but that said, I think that parent-only trips are very important, and DH and I have taken many trips over the years without the kids to non-Disney places. But if the adult place you want to go is WDW, then I see no problem with it (although I would expect much more backlash from the kids than if you announced you were going to, say, the Canadian Rockies, which was one of our favorite adults-only trips).

I thought the same way as you. But my sister and myself did a small trip 2002 ( that's when my nephew was still small), it was the best time ever, we had a ball. We shopped at Downtown Disney, we had ice cream flots in Magic Kingdom, dinner at EPCOT we rough it. I felt a little weird in the beginning because we didn't have any kids with us, but after awhile the feeling went away and we were the kids. Big kids but we were kids, best Disney Magic.

 

[21stamps]

Kids are not scarred by divorce? By parents being in the military? By parents with parents that travel for work? By parents going on fantastical vacation to Disney World and leaving them behind? Those kids have some rock solid psyches.

In my opinion all of the above are dysfunctional behaviors. I suppose if you took two Disney trips, close together, and only one was adults only, it might be ok. Ok-ish.

Just because you don't have a choice in a behavior, does not prevent it from being dysfunctional.

Ok, woah. Having a parent either in the military or traveling often for work, is not dysfunctional.
Divorce is not inherently dysfunctional.

None of these things are a guarantee that a kid is going be in therapy later on.
Especially parents vacationing without children, regardless of the destination.

 

[DisneyMann]

I think kids that have gone multiple times think it's their "right" to go and not a privilege. I haven't taken my kids the last two trips because they haven't been doing what they need to do to get back there (grades, behavior, etc...)

If they think you're mean, it's on them.

 

[jloucks]

Ok, woah. Having a parent either in the military or traveling often for work, is not dysfunctional.
Divorce is not inherently dysfunctional.

None of these things are a guarantee that a kid is going be in therapy later on.
Especially parents vacationing without children, regardless of the destination.

dys·func·tion·al - deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.

Having a parent traveling a lot (absentee parent) has been proven to be bad. Also, hopping from school to school, never making solid friendship or feeling at home is also bad. As in, not good. I went to 3 different schools in 5th grade. It was bad.

Divorce is maybe not inherently bad, but it is usually bad and stereotypical bad. At this point, most parents defend divorce based on boorish behavior in front of children will now cease. Because, you know, boorish behavior cannot be changed. Divorce is always caused by somebody giving up.

Opinion: When you have kids, giving up should not be an option. If you are the giving up kind, you should not have kids.

References: Air Force Brat (it super sucked). Parents Divorced. Latchkey kid (parents gone for up to a week at a time). Married 28 years. Years of therapy (which is a luxury item I recommend for anybody).

 

[21stamps]

dys·func·tion·al - deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.

Having a parent traveling a lot (absentee parent) has been proven to be bad. Also, hopping from school to school, never making solid friendship or feeling at home is also bad. As in, not good. I went to 3 different schools in 5th grade. It was bad.

Divorce is maybe not inherently bad, but it is usually bad and stereotypical bad. At this point, most parents defend divorce based on boorish behavior in front of children will now cease. Because, you know, boorish behavior cannot be changed. Divorce is always caused by somebody giving up.

Opinion: When you have kids, giving up should not be an option. If you are the giving up kind, you should not have kids.

References: Air Force Brat (it super sucked). Parents Divorced. Latchkey kid (parents gone for up to a week at a time). Married 28 years. Years of therapy (which is a luxury item I recommend for anybody).

Yes, I know the definition, which was the reason for my comment. Since when is having a military parent bad?
Parent travels for work= bad? Who and when was this socially decided?

Divorce is again, not inherently bad. Sometimes it is a necessity, sometimes it’s the best choice. In a perfect world there would never be a need for divorce, but people aren’t perfect. People change. People make mistakes. Not all can be forgiven, nor should be forgiven. This is reality.
We live in a time where women are successful enough to choose to leave if the need arises. How many women in previous generations stayed in a bad marriage, or put up with cheating husbands, or abuse, because the women didn’t have the means to leave? Or were afraid of how society would view them if they became a divorcée?
Personal opinion-Thank God that we no longer live in such an era.

Parents vacationing without kids- not bad, not dysfunctional, completely normal in most of society.

I’m sorry that you experienced hardships, I mean that sincerely, but don’t project your feelings onto everyone else. Especially not how they should feel/how society views them. Luckily we aren’t such a closed minded society.

Unfortunately though, we do live in a society where some parents like to take their own views, and try to justify them by passing judgement on others (typically on social media). Taking simple scenarios and turning them into some exaggerated doom and gloom and bad parenting. Misplaced judgement, could probably benefit from a therapy session, or several with that topic. Or.. just developing a live and let live mindset, on one’s own.


To the OP- Have fun on your trip

 

[jloucks]

Yes, I know the definition, which was the reason for my comment. Since when is having a military parent bad?
Parent travels for work= bad? Who and when was this socially decided?

Divorce is again, not inherently bad. Sometimes it is a necessity, sometimes it’s the best choice. In a perfect world there would never be a need for divorce, but people aren’t perfect. People change. People make mistakes. Not all can be forgiven, nor should be forgiven. This is reality.
We live in a time where women are successful enough to choose to leave if the need arises. How many women in previous generations stayed in a bad marriage, or put up with cheating husbands, or abuse, because the women didn’t have the means to leave? Or were afraid of how society would view them if they became a divorcée?
Personal opinion-Thank God that we no longer live in such an era.

Parents vacationing without kids- not bad, not dysfunctional, completely normal in most of society.

I’m sorry that you experienced hardships, I mean that sincerely, but don’t project your feelings onto everyone else. Especially not how they should feel/how society views them. Luckily we aren’t such a closed minded society.

Unfortunately though, we do live in a society where some parents like to take their own views, and try to justify them by passing judgement on others (typically on social media). Taking simple scenarios and turning them into some exaggerated doom and gloom and bad parenting. Misplaced judgement, could probably benefit from a therapy session, or several with that topic. Or.. just developing a live and let live mindset, on one’s own.


To the OP- Have fun on your trip

You never asked if I had ever taken a trip without my kids. Yes, twice. Once to Vegas, once to Chicago. So, twice in 16 years (kids are 14&16). I wish I had taken them to Chicago. We rode the train, it was fun.

I digress, my point being, I never said (a theme here) parents cannot take trips without their kids. I said trips to flippin Disney World without them is wrong/cruel.

Lol, a trip with them to Vegas would be wrong.

 

[jaklgreen]

You never asked if I had ever taken a trip without my kids. Yes, twice. Once to Vegas, once to Chicago. So, twice in 16 years (kids are 14&16). I wish I had taken them to Chicago. We rode the train, it was fun.

I digress, my point being, I never said (a theme here) parents cannot take trips without their kids. I said trips to flippin Disney World without them is wrong/cruel.

Lol, a trip with them to Vegas would be wrong.

How is going to WDW any different then going anywhere else? My kids have been plenty of times and frankly, my oldest can take it or leave it. When it comes to my trip in the fall she says "bye, have fun". They seriously are not traumatized in any way. I think some of you are under the misconception that WDW is ONLY for children. Nothing about the food and wine fest screams child entertainment. You can decide what is right for your family, but don't tell others that they are being cruel to their kids for going on vacation without them to WDW. Whatever, my kids are very well adjusted, do well in school, and talk to us about anything. My kids have been to Chicago at least a dozen times, also California, Minnesota, Missouri, Iowa, on 6 cruises and WDW too many times to count. They are not missing out on anything.

 

[JillC LI]

I thought the same way as you. But my sister and myself did a small trip 2002 ( that's when my nephew was still small), it was the best time ever, we had a ball. We shopped at Downtown Disney, we had ice cream flots in Magic Kingdom, dinner at EPCOT we rough it. I felt a little weird in the beginning because we didn't have any kids with us, but after awhile the feeling went away and we were the kids. Big kids but we were kids, best Disney Magic.

I didn't mean to imply that an adults-only trip to Disney can't be enjoyable! I have no doubt that it would be, and I'm sure that after both our kids are in college (which won't be long now), DH and I will take some ourselves! I just meant I'd feel guilty choosing Disney as my adults-only trip when our kids were still young enough to want to travel with us. However, I see nothing wrong with others choosing it as their adults-only destination.

 

[jaklgreen]

I didn't mean to imply that an adults-only trip to Disney can't be enjoyable! I have no doubt that it would be, and I'm sure that after both our kids are in college (which won't be long now), DH and I will take some ourselves! I just meant I'd feel guilty choosing Disney as my adults-only trip when our kids were still young enough to want to travel with us. However, I see nothing wrong with others choosing it as their adults-only destination.

You should not feel guilty. I am sure that you are a loving, caring parent and do a lot for your kids. It is not a bad thing to do stuff for yourself too. So if you love going to WDW, then go. I never went as a kid, my parents would never take us. So my kids have been overloaded with Disney, LOL.

 

[larandtra]

Sometimes when you "assume" things about people you make huge mistakes in what you "think" they have or have not done, know or do not know, etc. I wont tell you what my minor was in college nor where I did some intern work before moving on to my full time career, but, needless to say, you have formed opinions from a "patient" side on therapy? At least thats what I take from what you replied with. If thats the case, I would say your therapist has helped strengthen the victim mentality rather than having you face actual cause/effect variances. Rather than facing things, the "excuse and blame" part of the therapist community likes to create victim mentality and in thios case you are using your childhood experiences with your father( likely abandonment issues, which I certainly understand and feel bad that some children experience it) and using that to judge the behavior of others. Divorce sometimes creates a more positive environment. Sometimes its better for the child if mom or dad arent in the picture. And sometimes, yes sometimes, mom and dad want to go to Disney without the kids. Thats a part of life and as long as they are honest with their kids, there is mutual respect, and the scars of that never happen. Its almost insulting to use abandonment and cruelty issues to judge others for their decisions on how to parent when real cruelty and abandonment happens every day.

 

[jloucks]

How is going to WDW any different then going anywhere else?

I suspect you could answer this as well as I can. It is a destination designed specifically for children. And, more to the point here, children really really like to go. Like, a lot. Well, most of them. There are exceptions.

I think some of you are under the misconception that WDW is ONLY for children. Nothing about the food and wine fest screams child entertainment.

Animal Kingdom seems more adult friendly too. But does not change the fact the WDW is aimed primarily at kids. Well, kids and families. Because it is the parents that fund the trips.

You can decide what is right for your family, but don't tell others that they are being cruel to their kids for going on vacation without them to WDW.

Society dictates/judges all the time what is right and wrong for kids. And popular opinion often dictates the law. Used to be you could beat your child with a switch (or in my case, my dad used a belt). Now, you get a visit from CPS. And no, I am not equating a vacation without kids to child beatings. I am just pointing out societal opinions affect what we deem appropriate with children.

And, I stand by my statement. Going to WDW without your kids is cruel. It hurts them, and it is reasonable for them to be hurt. You can try to debate it away all you want, but it is selfish and cruel. Just own it. It is pretty crappy parenting in only my opinion. Well, that and of several others.

As always, there are exception. Sure. If you go 4 times a year and skip one, probably not cruel. If your kids would rather play video games alone for a week, then again, probably not cruel.

But if they want to go, and you ditch them, it is cruel. The more I think about it, it is just weird.

Whatever, my kids are very well adjusted, do well in school, and talk to us about anything. My kids have been to Chicago at least a dozen times, also California, Minnesota, Missouri, Iowa, on 6 cruises and WDW too many times to count. They are not missing out on anything.

Congrats, that is a great accomplishment. It sounds to me like you are doing it right. Like I said earlier, two close together trips to WDW, one with kids, one without, is probably fine. ...I'd do the one without first.

 

[JillC LI]

You should not feel guilty. I am sure that you are a loving, caring parent and do a lot for your kids. It is not a bad thing to do stuff for yourself too. So if you love going to WDW, then go. I never went as a kid, my parents would never take us. So my kids have been overloaded with Disney, LOL.

I appreciate the sentiment, but DH and I have been quite happy to take our adult only trips to places that the kids wouldn't enjoy that we have always wanted to see anyway. I works out perfectly for our family to make Disney our usual family destination. But we have also taken the kids on family trips to National Parks, Europe, etc. We like to try to balance our travels.