Trip Report Phil getting swallowed by a shark is so September. It's time for a November Disney trip report!!!

NOTE - November 7, 2016 - For those of you just looking for the Disney portion of this trip report, it begins on Page 11. If you're looking for the Key West portion, begin on Page 5. PS - Original title of this thread was "Phil got swallowed by a Great White Shark - it's time to go back!"

NOTE - September 9, 2016 - For those of you who don't feel like scrolling through the "pre-trip report" stuff, I totally get it and the Key West portion of the actual trip begins on Page Five. The Disney Old Key West portion will begin in November. :) I'll give the page that starts on too. Now back to your regularly scheduled pre-trip report for those who want to read all of the posts.
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Well, not exactly.

Or should I say, not yet.

Or should I say, Phil is actually the Great White Shark.

Ummm.... what exactly am I saying here, or trying to say, totally unsuccessfully?

Well, here goes.

For those of you who don't chat with us on the Chit Chat Thread, and damn you to all of you who don't (kidding! - come chat!), you will not really know how anti-Disney my partner Phil has been toward Disney since our last trip, which was last June. I'm not going to mince words - he has basically been a total jerk. Every time I bring up going back to Disney, he does something very similar to this:



The last time I brought it up, he said, and I quote, "I would rather be waterboarded than go back there!!!"

That can be arranged, is what I was thinking.

But wait! How can he possibly hate it so much when he acts like he loves it when he is there?? Your honor, I present to you the following evidence:

Biergarten.JPG

And this (if he's a little less happy here it's just cause there is no drink in his paw. :hungover:

Mexico.JPG


And this!

Boardwalk Villa.JPG


And this!!

Spoons.JPG


I could keep going all night, but you get the idea. I find him guilty of secretly liking Disney - at least once he gets there. This is not a tortured, miserable soul at a Disney park. He is having fun. So why all the pushback for going back?

Well, let me quote once again:

"I don't know why we have to go there all the time when there all all sorts of other places to go to!!!!"

Okay. Point taken. I didn't bring it up again for a while.

Then, a series of unfortunate events happened in very quick order, or actually just two that felt like a lot:

I got downsized (that means fired, due to budget cutbacks) from a job I had held for 19 years.Here is what was my incredible office:

Office 4.JPG


And then, soon after, our little cat, Spooky, started screaming in the middle of the night and we ran downstairs to find out what was going on, and the back half of him was paralyzed and cold. He wouldn't stop screaming. We rushed him as fast as possible to a 24-7 animal hospital and they told us that he had a sudden blood clot that had burst and paralyzed him and there was a 99.9% chance that there was no hope. We were basically forced to put Spooky to sleep. :(

Spooky hockey.JPG

Spooky snow.JPG
Spooky tub.JPG

The tears flowed like the River Jordan.

Yeah, it's been a rough patch folks.

But on the good news side, my contract got picked up by one of my previous job's competitors, and I was only out of work for 2 weeks. On the other hand, nothing can replace a sweet cat that didn't deserve to go in such a violent way. Where am I going with this?

Oh yes, that's right. You see, from my previous job, I got a small, but to me, significant severance package. People I tell about it laugh and say it's nothing, but to me, who has lived from paycheck to paycheck my entire life, I finally have money in the bank ---- but not for long if I have anything to say about it, dammit!!

This is my very long and meandering way of saying that I finally convinced Phil to go back to Disney, but only because I surprised him by telling him that for his birthday (on September 15), I was taking him to Key West. We've never been, and assuming that he does not get swallowed by the great white shark in the title of this thread, we are then doing a Key West-a-Palooza and we are going to be staying at Old Key West from November 1 - 4 for Food and Wine Festival.

Look! I themed our Fall! :)

I feel like this resort is totally out of the way of everything, but when I looked at the 25% discount offer that they currently have, I was able to book a one bedroom villa (!!!!) at Old Key West for $150.00 less than it would have been to book a standard room at the Contemporary. It was kind of like an offer I could not refuse.

Yeah, so three nights is basically just a tease, but as I told my pals on the Chit Chat thread (and again, why aren't the rest of you having fun there too??) , I'm going to use this as an excuse to demand a new trip for 2017. ;) And since the Philmonster is bound to throw a fit about that, I am going to search out that Bounce Back Offer as soon as I get to the room. :) If you want, I'll post the details/pics of the Key West trip in September prior to the November trip to the World.

Hope you are all having a great summer.

:D
 
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BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Memento mori!

I'm guessing you had no trouble bringing in your Dasani bottles through security? :hilarious:
OMG, thank you so much for reminding me about this. I forgot to post about that. We got targeted for extra screening at both EPCOT the previous day and Magic Kingdom this particular day! Both of us. Both days.

Magic-Kingdom metal detector.jpg

I was so freaking out. My "water" bottle was in my back pocket, and I was certain that this was about to happen - RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!!!!!:
Dog and gun.jpe

But no - they were just looking for metal. I freaked for no reason. Once again, vodka won. ;) I mean Dasani. Naturally.
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
A STAY AT FAKE KEY WEST, or DISNEY, I LOVE YOU - a mini trip report by Buddy Thomas - Part Eight - in which Buddy posts a really crappy chapter as fast as possible so he can watch the 11PM season finale of American Horror Story

That's right. Let's go. Through the magic of not having to wait 45 minutes for a bus, here we are at Boma for our spectacular African buffet!

Boma.JPG

Look who's feeling happy!
Boma Phil.JPG

So off we go to eat all sorts of amazing food. They had like 8 soups.
Boma soups.JPG

Um.....or five.

And I don't know why I decided to take a pic of the side orders, but yes. Yes I did.

Boma buffet.JPG

And the desserts.

Boma dessert.JPG


And ME!!!

Boma BUddy.JPG


This place was a LOT of fun. The food was totally incredible, the atmosphere was great, and we just had a very good time.

After that, we went to Disney Springs for the first time ever. I only have a couple of pictures and here they are. First we went to a crazy Coca Cola store. They have a Coca Cola Bar and here is the menu:

Crazy coke bar.JPG


Then we went to see those car boat things:
Swimming car.JPG

I think Jerry Garcia is in the driver's seat. Or something.

And then, after a lonnnng day. it was time to go back to Old Key West. By boat!! Hurray!

Leaving Disney Springs by boat.JPG

That's the view from the back of the boat, and that is it for tonight.

Hey, I told you this was a bad chapter. I wouldn't even give it a single like if I were you. But tomorrow promises to be a lot better, because that is when we go back to EPCOT and go absolutely crazy drinking around the world. Until then, have a great night, and a great day tomorrow!
 

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
OMG, thank you so much for reminding me about this. I forgot to post about that. We got targeted for extra screening at both EPCOT the previous day and Magic Kingdom this particular day! Both of us. Both days.

View attachment 175388
I was so freaking out. My "water" bottle was in my back pocket, and I was certain that this was about to happen - RELEASE THE HOUNDS!!!!!!!!:
View attachment 175390
But no - they were just looking for metal. I freaked for no reason. Once again, vodka won. ;) I mean Dasani. Naturally.

Wait. Wait until mid-January. They'll be stopping and frisking any two men together who aren't talking about football.


Hmmm...smoothies for alcoholics...
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Wait. Wait until mid-January. They'll be stopping and frisking any two men together who aren't talking about football.



Hmmm...smoothies for alcoholics...
You are so right about mid January. I would have more to say about that, but I would get banned. And as for the smoothies for adults, yep, that's about right, and insanely, we did not have one. I can't recall why.
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
THE REAL KEY WEST JELLYFISH DRAG QUEEN SCRAPED KNEE IGUANA TRIP REPORT, PART FOUR

I forgot to post this picture last night, but I just wanted to show you that there is our own private EPCOT ball right near our resort. Also, if you look really close in this picture, there is a bride and groom posing for photos wayy out there - go on, you can find them - it's like looking for a hidden Mickey but instead of Mickey, it's a very sweaty bride and groom:

View attachment 164020

But that was last night. Today the weather was much better:

View attachment 164021
Except hotttttttttt! So hottt! It was like a million degrees. I thought the ocean breezes were supposed to make everything okay. Nope. There was not a whisper of a breeze, and it was just as bad, if not worse than the thousand percent humidity trip we took to WDW in September 2013.

But we were getting hungry, so we decided to venture off the resort grounds and search for food.

@tonythe tigger had suggested a place called Blue Heaven, which is a pretty famous Key West restaurant where cats and roosters run around all over the place while you eat. I'm in!!

We figured out it was about a ten minute walk from our hotel, so we headed out. Within two minutes, we were both soaked in sweat. It was utterly disgusting out. No breeze. No air. Total humidity. 90+ degrees. Argh.

But luckily, we would be at Blue Heaven in a just a few minutes, right?

Well, hurray, we are finally arriving, and here is what greeted us:

View attachment 164022
Closed?!?!?! Reopening October 15th?!?!?! What?!?!?!?

As you can see, I'm not as mellow as @tonythetigger about bad news. In his current trip, he has suffered broken cars, broken backs, and ridiculous storms and has kept his positive attitude. I was about to have a sweaty meltdown in front of the closed Blue Heaven, because it is kind of sort of in the middle of nowhere, if you can count anything on a 2 mile by 4 mile island in the middle of nowhere. ;) And actually this was just a few blocks off Duval. But the heat. The roasting, unrelenting heat.

Anyway, we just started walking randomly because I think we both had heatstroke, and we suddenly came across what seems to be a Blue Heaven ripoff - Blue Macaw!!!

View attachment 164023

(Side note - It looks like Phil is wearing some kind of crazy hat, but that is actually connected to the wall.)

I noticed this sort of trend several times in Key West, where several establishments are trying to copy each other shamelessly. For example, there is a Fat Tuesday's rip off about a block away called Flying Monkey and they do the exact same gimmick of crazy strong frozen drinks in big plastic cups. They have all the Fat Tuesday's recipes but with different names. - http://fogartysofkeywest.com/flyingmonkeys/

This was clearly a rip off of Blue Heaven. Same set up. A few blocks away. Blue in the title. But anyway, they were open, and they had seats. In the melting heat. No indoor seats. No air conditioner.

I was not into a picture, but please enjoy Phil eating a hogfish sandwich -

View attachment 164024

I was eating a chicken sandwich with french fries once again. That's what you get when you go to Key West if you don't like fish. One option on a menu - chicken and fries. I'm exaggerating of course, but not by much.

Anyway, did I forget to mention that we were on our way to a snorkeling tour called Rum and Reggae Snorkel and Sunset Cruise? Well, we were, and it was just about 90 minutes before check in. I'll get into that insanity in just a little bit.

:)

Following!!! KW is my home away from home!!!! That stinks about Blue Heaven! @Tony the Tigger is right..It really is a great place.

The same exact thing happened to me last year, but with Glazed Donuts on Eaten Street.
I had told my son all about the amazing donuts we were about to eat, he was so excited, and then-
IMG_2098.JPG



Needless to say, I now had an annoyed and disappointed 5 year old. We ended up going to Crossaints de France for the second consecutive day, and once he had pastry all was good again.

Can't wait to read thru the rest of this report!
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
PART TWELVE - GOODBYE KEY WEST!

So, just picking up where we left off, after sunset, Mallory Square goes crazy with all sorts of street performers. One of the most famous ones is a really insane cat show that went a little something like this:

View attachment 166802 View attachment 166803

There was also a guy on a unicycle playing with fire.

View attachment 166804

And then, time for dinner.

We went to a really cool place called Smokin' Tuna - http://www.smokintunasaloon.com/

Here are some shots of our last supper. Phil is having some sort of really fresh Key West fish dinner. I am certain I am eating a chicken sandwich with fries. I might have to rethink this anti-seafood thing:

View attachment 166806 View attachment 166807
It was getting late, it was the last night, and we were both kind of heat exhausted (and liver exhausted) so we started to head back to the resort. But not before I found Mr. Darth and copied Phil's pic. Oh yeah, you will notice more Fat Tuesday's drinks for the walk back.

View attachment 166808
Thanks for the blurry pic, Phil, argh.

Back at the resort, Phil decided on one last dip in the pool:

View attachment 166809
Ahhhh. Purple Rain......


The next day, it was time to go.

Remember when I was so excited that they had a beach bar next to the baggage claim at the Key West arrivals terminal? Well, they have an outdoor one at the Departures terminal! And here is Phil in a very big chair.

View attachment 166811

And me!

View attachment 166812
If you look closely, you can see the skinned knee. Errrghh......

And folks, that, as they say, is that. One last thing, back in JFK....

View attachment 166813
Well, there ain't no beach bar at this baggage claim!

So to recap, we survived barracudas,giant iguanas, 10 million jellyfish, 10 million drinks, flocks of chickens marauding the streets, a biker festival, drag queens and straight people partying together (!!), endless french fries, pool Bingo, and the sun! Hey, after all of that, Old Key West in November should be a snap. ;)

Back to you with that soon.

PS - Our Magic Bands shipped today. Whoo-hooooo!!!

So this is where I'm at now in your report. Glad you had fun! I think it's impossible not to have an amazing time on that rock.
Kinda disappointed in @Tony the Tigger for not recommending the Conch Republic Seafood Factory (they have more than seafood), but I'll let that one slide.

I forget the name, but there is a gay bar on the 600 block that is really fun, bonus- pool and jacuzzi out back with another bar and great music. It's always full of fun people. Just one more reason for you to go back!

Omg this is totally making me have KW withdrawals.. Will I incur a penalty from Disney if I shorten my trip at this point?lol.
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
Obviously I'm late to the party, but had to chime in before the next TR arrives on how much I loved your KW report - you are a wonderful writer. This was the first TR from you I've read and now I must hunt down any/all others. :inlove::inlove::inlove:

Even with the iguanas, heat, jellyfish and all, I adore the Keys almost as much as the Mouse - and I'm a diehard WDW fan. The drive for us is 4 hrs to KW and 3 hrs to the Mouse, so I'm always torn re: which way to point the car. I know it's probably sacrilege even saying that around here. :jawdrop:

But if you ever return, consider flying into Ft Laud, renting a convertible and driving just 2-3 hrs to stay in Islamorada or Marathon. Every key has a unique and marvelous character all its own. KW is great and we love Duval and nightlife, but it's one slice of the experience. So many people just visit KW and have no idea there's so much more.

You can easily day trip to KW from middle keys (90 min drive) or split your stay with a couple of nights upper/middle keys, then drive down to KW. (Bonus - hotel rates in middle/upper keys are much cheaper.) And there is nothing like the overseas hwy drive - you gotta do just once - it's breathtaking. And a lot more pleasant when it's 90 min vs 4 hours.

Visit May-July for AWESOME snorkeling conditions - few to no jellies!
Believe it or not, it's often more tolerable in May-July vs. Sept. Sept is when it's cooling down everywhere else on the planet - yet it's often Florida's most humid, disgustingly hot month.

Also check out the Hemmingway House next time: the tour guides are really good - they tell some fascinating stories about his life, loves, adventures - not dry or boring at all.
Do you live in South Florida? I knew I liked you for a reason! ;).

The 7 mile bridge is my happy place. When I reach it my stress level goes down by 90%.
 

Tony the Tigger

Well-Known Member
Kinda disappointed in @Tony the Tigger for not recommending the Conch Republic Seafood Factory (they have more than seafood), but I'll let that one slide.

That is a good place – one I rarely remember by name for some reason. It's just "that big place out on the water." LOL. Great cracked conch appetizer, more of a lunch stop for us rather than dinner.

I forget the name, but there is a gay bar on the 600 block that is really fun, bonus- pool and jacuzzi out back with another bar

That's the Bourbon Street complex.
 

Gabe1

Ivory Tower Squabble EST 2011. WINDMILL SURVIVOR
No, socks pulled up is all in vogue again for some reason (although I agree with you 150%).
View attachment 175273

That second photo just cracked me up. :hilarious:

I think this became "fashionable" because of CrossFit. People who do CrossFit wear their socks like this. I have heard it is to keep from getting shins scraped during deadlifts. I have been doing deadlifts for 20+ years and yet to scrape a shin. I began seeing a lot of men wearing long socks when CrossFit was a really big thing. :)

It does make me giggle all the attire people purchase to exercise. It is entertainment when I'm out on the trails, pure fashion show as I'm out doing the same thing in a pair of track shorts and a Disney Tshirt. :cyclops:

Wait. Wait until mid-January. They'll be stopping and frisking any two men together who aren't talking about football.
You are so right about mid January. I would have more to say about that, but I would get banned.

Feeling clueless. But I need a hint....what's up with mid-January? :cyclops:
 

21stamps

Well-Known Member
That is a good place – one I rarely remember by name for some reason. It's just "that big place out on the water." LOL. Great cracked conch appetizer, more of a lunch stop for us rather than dinner.



That's the Bourbon Street complex.
Conch Republic has my (almost) favorite Key Lime martinis in KW...just nudging into 1st place would be the martinis at Virgilio's.

Yes! Bourbon Street!!! Omg I loved that place. Been a long time! Yeah, I'm one of those "straight people who like gay bars"..sometimes the other side of Duval gets tiring..we're not so bad.. ;).
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
A STAY AT FAKE KEY WEST, or DISNEY, I LOVE YOU - a mini trip report by Buddy Thomas - Part Nine - in which we finally get down to business and consume a disgraceful amount of food, wine, beer, and cocktails.

Sorry about the long delay. I don't know what is up lately. I have been so busy. But let's get right to it, and this is the first thing I saw when I got out of bed:

Omlette.JPG


Yes, there are worse things in the world that you can see when you get out of bed, that's for sure. But I got lucky, and Chef Phil was in full swing:

Chef Phil.JPG


Yeah. When he's good, he's very good. And after our Old Key West feast, of course it was time to do what? Well, what else? Go feast some more!!

Buddy ball.JPG

I don't know if you can see, but the reason I am looking kind of in a weird direction is because there is some cast member screaming at me that I can't stand up there. Sheesh! It's not as if I tried to climb the ball. But anyway, if she wants me down, down I'll come. Here is me in mid-flight:

Buddy jump.JPG

So off we go. First stop?
Craft beer.JPG

This was inside that totally bizarre Odyssey Center. It's all dark and spooky looking inside and there are plants all over the place, '80's looking carpet on the floors, and beer. We decided to do two flights, and here they are:

Buddy beer.JPG

You see? I was right. Darkness. Plants all over the place. Eighties carpet, and beer. This is truly a waste of a space, but the beer was good, we were out of the hot temperatures, and hey, Disney. So who's complaining? :)

Next, onto Australia, which was just outside the Odyssey Center:

Australia.JPG

There was actually nothing on this menu that I wanted, but Phil wanted to try the Grilled lamb chop with mint pesto and potato crunchies, and here it is, along with Cooper's Brewery Extra Strong Vintage Ale:
lamb shank.JPG

Ya know, you cannot make anything served in those depressing cardboard containers look delicious. And in this case, apparently, the picture was correct, because this is what that lamb shank looked like a few minutes later:

lambshank rejected.JPG

Phil took one bite and deemed it the most disgusting thing he has ever eaten. Alllrighty then. I think it was 7 or 8 bucks. Down the drain. But he ran over to New Zealand which was right next door and got the seared venison loin as a replacement, and he said that was amazing:
New Zealand.JPG

And just like that, I can't post any more pics, so back to you in a minute or two. :)
 

BuddyThomas

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Here is the venison, which I guess means deer, which I guess means Bambi. Arrrgghhhh:

venison.JPG

But Phil said it was great so what do I know.

Okay, so let's make sure we're keeping track here. Omelettes, craft beer, Australia food, New Zealand food (and drink and drink), so what comes next? The fat farm? Betty Ford? No!

Poland!!

Poland.JPG

We got everything on the menu here, which was: Kielbasa and potato pierogi with caramelized onions and sour cream....and Pork stuffed cabbage in tomato sauce, plus two pale lagers:
Poland food.JPG

This was a highlight of the Festival. Great food and very tasty beer.

So after you add this to everything else you've already shoved down your throat, NOW is it time for the fat farm? Apparently not until I get a chicken parm and a Moretti lager from Italy!

Italy chicken parm.JPG

Honestly, that thing tasted exactly like a Banquet TV Dinner from the 1970's, if those things even still exist. Here's what they looked like from my childhood ten and a half million years ago:

banquetvealparmagiandinner.jpg

Yeah, well, that's veal or something, but same idea. And note the price. 49 cents. Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

But I digress.

Okay so at this point, we were halfway around the world, and we were getting a little tired of tiny little teacups of beer, and tired in general, as evidenced in Phil's pensive moment here as I was shoving a chicken parm down my throat:

Phil hanging out.JPG

Well, I know the solution to this. A trip to Germany!

Germany Phil.JPG
Germany Buddy.JPG

That's right, enough with those tiny little beers served in little elf thimbles. Give us some grown up German beer!

And the next thing you know, I was spotted doing this:

Buddy dark.JPG

And Phil was spotted trying to get his picture taken with another princess without waiting in line:

Snow Phil.JPG

And as the beer and wine starts to kick in, I'll leave you here for the moment, and more very soon. :)
 

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