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Nineteen Eighty-Four Competition Arena
- Thread starter TheOriginalTiki
- Start date
DinoInstitute
Well-Known Member
I'm really busy.... I think I'm going to have to use one of my sit-outs for this one.
Brer Panther
Well-Known Member
I'll be honest, I forgot all about the project until the day it was supposed to be posted and had to rush it. That was stupid of me.
This PIXAR short idea sounds like something I can sink my teeth into, though!
This PIXAR short idea sounds like something I can sink my teeth into, though!
Flippin'Flounder
Well-Known Member
You're not in this
Brer Panther
Well-Known Member
Oh, was I eliminated? Ah well...
Flippin'Flounder
Well-Known Member
No, only six people are in PoV challenges (The HoH, the 2 nominees, and three from a random draw)
Nope, you're safe. It's the format of the game. The only people who play in the PoV are the Head of Household, the two nominees, and three houseguests selected by random draw.
If houseguests not picked for this comp want to submit a project I'll be more than happy to grade it, but only people picked for the comp are eligible to win the Power of Veto.
Also, since @IDInstitute has decided to sit out I drew another name to take his spot, and that name is @DisneyPrincess1993.
gilm0114
Member
Power of Veto- Ancient Storm
The idea behind this short is to show that good things can come from bad events, such as natural disasters. The main character of this short is a storm cloud. The cloud will be stylized similar to the male volcano in Lava, as opposed to the clouds with bodies as seen in Partly Cloudy. The music playing throughout the short will be Celtic music titled Ancient Storm (Click Here). The short will open with the cloud looking down on prehistoric humans as they struggle to survive. Without fire, human are vulnerable at night to attack from predators, they are unable to cook their food, and can get sick from it, and are unable to keep themselves warm when it’s cold. The cloud wants to help, but is unable to do anything except provide rain for the humans.
At about 1:37 seconds in the music, this is when the storm would begin. The cloud is doing what he can to protect the humans he has been watching over, but as more storm clouds roll in, the humans are helpless against the wind, rain and lightning. They seek shelter in a nearby cave. As the storm rages on, the cloud tries to stop the other storm clouds without success. Getting angry now, our main character begins to shoot out bolts of lightning. One hits a bush nearby the cave and starts a fire. The rain from the storm keeps the fire from spreading, and the humans emerge from the cave to investigate this strange new thing.
As the storm clears, the humans keep the fire, and learn to keep it going by adding twigs and branches to the flame. The cloud sticks around to continue to keep an eye on the humans, and the audience is given a short time lapse of the human’s learning to utilize fire and how it helps better the human race. The short ends with the cloud smiling down on the humans, happy that something good was able to come out of the storm, as opposed to the destruction that he was used to.
Here are some images I've found to help visualize the idea:
The storm cloud will be given a more realistic look, as opposed to a very unrealistic, cartoon look, like in Partly Cloudy.
Here is a very poor drawing of where the clouds face will be. But if you compare it to the above image, you can make out the eyes and eyebrows, and the animators would be able to create a more realistic looking face in the cloud.
The cavemen will always be viewed from the clouds perspective, similar to how the image above was taken.
Here is an idea of what the storm will look like as the other storm clouds begin to roll in.
And here is an idea of what it will look like after the storm has ended, through it will be viewed from above the trees, as opposed to looking up into the sky as seen here.
The idea behind this short is to show that good things can come from bad events, such as natural disasters. The main character of this short is a storm cloud. The cloud will be stylized similar to the male volcano in Lava, as opposed to the clouds with bodies as seen in Partly Cloudy. The music playing throughout the short will be Celtic music titled Ancient Storm (Click Here). The short will open with the cloud looking down on prehistoric humans as they struggle to survive. Without fire, human are vulnerable at night to attack from predators, they are unable to cook their food, and can get sick from it, and are unable to keep themselves warm when it’s cold. The cloud wants to help, but is unable to do anything except provide rain for the humans.
At about 1:37 seconds in the music, this is when the storm would begin. The cloud is doing what he can to protect the humans he has been watching over, but as more storm clouds roll in, the humans are helpless against the wind, rain and lightning. They seek shelter in a nearby cave. As the storm rages on, the cloud tries to stop the other storm clouds without success. Getting angry now, our main character begins to shoot out bolts of lightning. One hits a bush nearby the cave and starts a fire. The rain from the storm keeps the fire from spreading, and the humans emerge from the cave to investigate this strange new thing.
As the storm clears, the humans keep the fire, and learn to keep it going by adding twigs and branches to the flame. The cloud sticks around to continue to keep an eye on the humans, and the audience is given a short time lapse of the human’s learning to utilize fire and how it helps better the human race. The short ends with the cloud smiling down on the humans, happy that something good was able to come out of the storm, as opposed to the destruction that he was used to.
Here are some images I've found to help visualize the idea:
The storm cloud will be given a more realistic look, as opposed to a very unrealistic, cartoon look, like in Partly Cloudy.
Here is a very poor drawing of where the clouds face will be. But if you compare it to the above image, you can make out the eyes and eyebrows, and the animators would be able to create a more realistic looking face in the cloud.
The cavemen will always be viewed from the clouds perspective, similar to how the image above was taken.
Here is an idea of what the storm will look like as the other storm clouds begin to roll in.
And here is an idea of what it will look like after the storm has ended, through it will be viewed from above the trees, as opposed to looking up into the sky as seen here.
ToInfinityAndBeyond
Well-Known Member
I am on the road in a moving truck over the next two days, but I am still going to try to do this!
@brinneydee
@DisneyPrincess1993
@brb1006
@ToInfinityAndBeyond
@Basketbuddy101
You have 24 hours to submit your projects!
@DisneyPrincess1993
@brb1006
@ToInfinityAndBeyond
@Basketbuddy101
You have 24 hours to submit your projects!
britdaw
Well-Known Member
Power of Veto Competition - Different
For my pitch, I present "Different", a short about a little boy with autism. We would begin with seeing a small boy sitting in a living room floor, playing with a few toys between his legs- a toy car, a pinwheel, a few blocks.
The little boy's family moves in chaos around him, getting ready for a trip. His mother is rushing around, finding articles of clothing to pack in the suitcase. His father is watching TV and playing on a cell phone, trying to check the weather for the area they're traveling to. His sister is following his mother around, whining and complaining about everything from the pillow she has to take with her to her position in the car. The sounds of multiple voices, the TV, and his father's phone are almost deafening; they're so loud.
Suddenly, he picks up the toy car. The little boy changes his position to lie down on his stomach. The sound slowly quiets until we hear nothing but a distant, dull roar in the background. The camera zooms in slowly as the boy focuses on the wheels of the toy car as he rolls it back and forth over and over again. We hear the sound of the wheels on the floor, and our eyes are drawn to the bright red and yellow colors of the toy as everything else seems slightly less vibrant. We watch in fascination with him at the way the wheels turn, and the way the yellow tires look when they're in motion.
BANG! A door slams, and the boy jumps, startled. He moves back into a sitting position and watches as his mother walks past, looking irritated, calling out for her husband to come help find something she is missing. "Have you seen my black dress?" The two leave the room, and his sister sits on the couch near him, taking the remote and flipping to a new TV show. A laugh track plays, and she giggles loudly at the silly kids' TV show on in the background. She speaks to the little boy, but all he seems to hear is a muffled voice; he can't make out her words. He picks up the pinwheel, instead, and watches with glee as it turns with his fingers, the light catching and reflecting on the prismatic surface. He stares at the beautiful rainbow reflections in the silver pinwheel, and we watch with him as it spins, hypnotizing us with its motion and light.
Suddenly we are startled out of our reverie by a hand ruffling the boy's hair, causing his head to move and break his/our gaze with the pinwheel. He looks up to see his dad smiling down at him, asking him if he's having fun playing with his toys. His dad leans down and hands him one of his blocks. "Stack them, Buddy!" he says enthusiastically, and demonstrates how to stack the blocks. Slowly, the camera zooms in to his tiny hand, reaching out to pick up a bright blue block. He stacks it on top of a yellow block, and then follows it with a green block. He knocks the blocks over with his foot by accident and we hear an almost melodic sound of wood on wood, as the blocks topple over onto the wood floor of the living room. The boy draws in a slow breath, marveling at the blocks and the sound he just heard. As with the toy car, the sound begins to fade as the boy focuses on the blocks. The camera pans to his eye level, and we see what he sees as he stacks the blocks, everything else seeming to fade into a blur around him. This time he pushes the blocks over gleefully, and we hear the "musical" sound he hears. The boy giggles hysterically, and begins stacking the blocks faster and faster, laughing harder with each fall of the blocks onto the floor.
And then the blocks are forgotten as the little boy suddenly begins spinning around in circles on the floor, scooting himself around and around, laughing with each turn. We see the room spinning with him, giving us a dizzying view of what it's like to be an autistic child as they stim. Just as we feel like it's too much, someone scoops him up off the floor. The little boy recognizes the soft touch and soothing voice of his mother, and lays his head on her shoulder. "Time to go for a ride," she says softly. We see the room bouncing away as she carries him out of the room, and the screen fades to black, signalling the boy closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.
For my pitch, I present "Different", a short about a little boy with autism. We would begin with seeing a small boy sitting in a living room floor, playing with a few toys between his legs- a toy car, a pinwheel, a few blocks.
The little boy's family moves in chaos around him, getting ready for a trip. His mother is rushing around, finding articles of clothing to pack in the suitcase. His father is watching TV and playing on a cell phone, trying to check the weather for the area they're traveling to. His sister is following his mother around, whining and complaining about everything from the pillow she has to take with her to her position in the car. The sounds of multiple voices, the TV, and his father's phone are almost deafening; they're so loud.
Suddenly, he picks up the toy car. The little boy changes his position to lie down on his stomach. The sound slowly quiets until we hear nothing but a distant, dull roar in the background. The camera zooms in slowly as the boy focuses on the wheels of the toy car as he rolls it back and forth over and over again. We hear the sound of the wheels on the floor, and our eyes are drawn to the bright red and yellow colors of the toy as everything else seems slightly less vibrant. We watch in fascination with him at the way the wheels turn, and the way the yellow tires look when they're in motion.
BANG! A door slams, and the boy jumps, startled. He moves back into a sitting position and watches as his mother walks past, looking irritated, calling out for her husband to come help find something she is missing. "Have you seen my black dress?" The two leave the room, and his sister sits on the couch near him, taking the remote and flipping to a new TV show. A laugh track plays, and she giggles loudly at the silly kids' TV show on in the background. She speaks to the little boy, but all he seems to hear is a muffled voice; he can't make out her words. He picks up the pinwheel, instead, and watches with glee as it turns with his fingers, the light catching and reflecting on the prismatic surface. He stares at the beautiful rainbow reflections in the silver pinwheel, and we watch with him as it spins, hypnotizing us with its motion and light.
Suddenly we are startled out of our reverie by a hand ruffling the boy's hair, causing his head to move and break his/our gaze with the pinwheel. He looks up to see his dad smiling down at him, asking him if he's having fun playing with his toys. His dad leans down and hands him one of his blocks. "Stack them, Buddy!" he says enthusiastically, and demonstrates how to stack the blocks. Slowly, the camera zooms in to his tiny hand, reaching out to pick up a bright blue block. He stacks it on top of a yellow block, and then follows it with a green block. He knocks the blocks over with his foot by accident and we hear an almost melodic sound of wood on wood, as the blocks topple over onto the wood floor of the living room. The boy draws in a slow breath, marveling at the blocks and the sound he just heard. As with the toy car, the sound begins to fade as the boy focuses on the blocks. The camera pans to his eye level, and we see what he sees as he stacks the blocks, everything else seeming to fade into a blur around him. This time he pushes the blocks over gleefully, and we hear the "musical" sound he hears. The boy giggles hysterically, and begins stacking the blocks faster and faster, laughing harder with each fall of the blocks onto the floor.
And then the blocks are forgotten as the little boy suddenly begins spinning around in circles on the floor, scooting himself around and around, laughing with each turn. We see the room spinning with him, giving us a dizzying view of what it's like to be an autistic child as they stim. Just as we feel like it's too much, someone scoops him up off the floor. The little boy recognizes the soft touch and soothing voice of his mother, and lays his head on her shoulder. "Time to go for a ride," she says softly. We see the room bouncing away as she carries him out of the room, and the screen fades to black, signalling the boy closing his eyes and drifting to sleep.
Basketbuddy101
Well-Known Member
Beyond
“Beyond” is the story of a little boy who stumbles into the realm of the supernatural. Our main character, simply known as “Little Boy,” moves in to a spooky house with his mother and father. The short film will not include dialogue; it will be presented mainly with character actions and detailed facial expressions. The film’s setting is New York during the early 20th Century, and the style of the house itself will be inspired by Edward Hopper’s 1925 painting, “House by the Railroad,” which makes a small cameo in the film. Despite its seemingly-frightening subject matter, the film will mostly take on a lighthearted tone. In accordance with the five minute frame, the film is, from a structural standpoint, composed of three acts, each lasting roughly 1.66 minutes.
Act I:
The camera fades into a spooky old house sitting on a hillside overlooking a large body of water. The three story house, with its exaggeratingly curved gables and decadent windows, is characterized by its healthy appearance. In other words, while the house is vaguely foreboding in nature, nothing about it screams haunted. Even the surrounding area, with its relatively-lush vegetation, is healthy in its appearance. Perhaps the most noticeable aspect of the house is the single tower at the center, where a decorative window emits a faint purple glow. The camera cuts to our main character, the little boy, who is roughly 7 years old. The boy grips tightly to his mother and father’s hands; he seems to sense a greater power within the house. We see them approach the porch and then enter the house via the foyer. Strange sounds bounce off the walls; the mood is ominous, yet the interior is, like the exterior, perfectly healthy in appearance. The three drop their luggage and begin exploring the house. We transition to the upstairs library. Stacks of books line the bookshelves. A grand carpet covers most of the wooden floor. Dennis Hopper’s renowned painting, “House by the Railroad” hangs elegantly on one side of the library. The parents examine the library and the little boy escapes their notice. He sees a glowing purple book sitting quietly on a shelf. He opens the enchanted book and finds himself swept into the pages. The book drops from midair, now closed. The sound catches the attention of the father, who places the book somewhere back in the shelf.
Act II: The boy emerges from the bookcase, the enchanted book now lost somewhere in the shelves, no longer glowing. The boy is now transparent and glowing a bright blue.
The boy rushes toward his mother and tugs on her shirt. She screams and runs out. The father looks around cautiously. The boy runs toward him, a smile on his face, his arms stretched out; he knocks his father over. The father quickly runs away, terrified. The boy soon realizes he is a ghost, a ghost capable of free flight and the ability to travel through walls. The camera pans through various rooms in the house as the boy enjoys his newly-found abilities. We see him fly to the living room where his unbeknownst parents are seen hurriedly packing their things. The boy flies around the room. At one point, he opens a window and lets a strong gust of wind into the room, which he joyously uses to fly around the room at great speed. While this is great fun to the boy, the camera shifts to a low angle of the same scene from the perspective of the boy’s parents; the scene is terrifying from their point-of-view; horrifying music plays from the nearby organ as the boy spins in the air, laughing hysterically. The parents prepare to leave but before they march out the front door, they rush to the library to find the boy, who quickly follows them up the stairs.
Act III:
The parents reenter the library but can’t find the boy. Distraught, the mother begins to cry. The boy worriedly knocks down book after book in an attempt to find the enchanted book but to no avail. In the film’s climax, the boy flies around the library, knocking down all of the books in an attempt to trigger the secret bookcase passageway; the father hugs the mother protectively. The boy looks down at his parents, who are crouched together, their eyes closed in fear. Upon landing on the floor, he contemplates hugging them but decides against it, fearing that he might startle them. He walks backward sadly, his eyes wide in horror at the thought of remaining a ghost. Suddenly, he bumps into a particular bookcase, where a single book on the shelf falls out, its pages open. The book begins to glow again, and the boy finds his disembodied figure flying toward the pages. The book then ‘spits’ the boy out, back in his original form. Upon realizing his true form, the boy laughs and rushes toward his parents, who are delighted to see him. The three clean up the library, but before the father can put the familiar final book back in its shelf, the boy rips it from his hand and runs downstairs; the parents shrug as they follow the boy downstairs.
“Beyond” is the story of a little boy who stumbles into the realm of the supernatural. Our main character, simply known as “Little Boy,” moves in to a spooky house with his mother and father. The short film will not include dialogue; it will be presented mainly with character actions and detailed facial expressions. The film’s setting is New York during the early 20th Century, and the style of the house itself will be inspired by Edward Hopper’s 1925 painting, “House by the Railroad,” which makes a small cameo in the film. Despite its seemingly-frightening subject matter, the film will mostly take on a lighthearted tone. In accordance with the five minute frame, the film is, from a structural standpoint, composed of three acts, each lasting roughly 1.66 minutes.
Act I:
The camera fades into a spooky old house sitting on a hillside overlooking a large body of water. The three story house, with its exaggeratingly curved gables and decadent windows, is characterized by its healthy appearance. In other words, while the house is vaguely foreboding in nature, nothing about it screams haunted. Even the surrounding area, with its relatively-lush vegetation, is healthy in its appearance. Perhaps the most noticeable aspect of the house is the single tower at the center, where a decorative window emits a faint purple glow. The camera cuts to our main character, the little boy, who is roughly 7 years old. The boy grips tightly to his mother and father’s hands; he seems to sense a greater power within the house. We see them approach the porch and then enter the house via the foyer. Strange sounds bounce off the walls; the mood is ominous, yet the interior is, like the exterior, perfectly healthy in appearance. The three drop their luggage and begin exploring the house. We transition to the upstairs library. Stacks of books line the bookshelves. A grand carpet covers most of the wooden floor. Dennis Hopper’s renowned painting, “House by the Railroad” hangs elegantly on one side of the library. The parents examine the library and the little boy escapes their notice. He sees a glowing purple book sitting quietly on a shelf. He opens the enchanted book and finds himself swept into the pages. The book drops from midair, now closed. The sound catches the attention of the father, who places the book somewhere back in the shelf.
Act II: The boy emerges from the bookcase, the enchanted book now lost somewhere in the shelves, no longer glowing. The boy is now transparent and glowing a bright blue.
The boy rushes toward his mother and tugs on her shirt. She screams and runs out. The father looks around cautiously. The boy runs toward him, a smile on his face, his arms stretched out; he knocks his father over. The father quickly runs away, terrified. The boy soon realizes he is a ghost, a ghost capable of free flight and the ability to travel through walls. The camera pans through various rooms in the house as the boy enjoys his newly-found abilities. We see him fly to the living room where his unbeknownst parents are seen hurriedly packing their things. The boy flies around the room. At one point, he opens a window and lets a strong gust of wind into the room, which he joyously uses to fly around the room at great speed. While this is great fun to the boy, the camera shifts to a low angle of the same scene from the perspective of the boy’s parents; the scene is terrifying from their point-of-view; horrifying music plays from the nearby organ as the boy spins in the air, laughing hysterically. The parents prepare to leave but before they march out the front door, they rush to the library to find the boy, who quickly follows them up the stairs.
Act III:
The parents reenter the library but can’t find the boy. Distraught, the mother begins to cry. The boy worriedly knocks down book after book in an attempt to find the enchanted book but to no avail. In the film’s climax, the boy flies around the library, knocking down all of the books in an attempt to trigger the secret bookcase passageway; the father hugs the mother protectively. The boy looks down at his parents, who are crouched together, their eyes closed in fear. Upon landing on the floor, he contemplates hugging them but decides against it, fearing that he might startle them. He walks backward sadly, his eyes wide in horror at the thought of remaining a ghost. Suddenly, he bumps into a particular bookcase, where a single book on the shelf falls out, its pages open. The book begins to glow again, and the boy finds his disembodied figure flying toward the pages. The book then ‘spits’ the boy out, back in his original form. Upon realizing his true form, the boy laughs and rushes toward his parents, who are delighted to see him. The three clean up the library, but before the father can put the familiar final book back in its shelf, the boy rips it from his hand and runs downstairs; the parents shrug as they follow the boy downstairs.
@DisneyPrincess1993, @brb1006, @ToInfinityAndBeyond, you have five hours to submit your projects.
Also, see my avatar for a tease of the week two HoH competition.
Also, see my avatar for a tease of the week two HoH competition.
JokersWild
Well-Known Member
Week One Power of Veto Competition
"Five Minutes of Awesome"
This season, were switching things up for the Power of Veto competition in a way you never could have guessed. Instead of the familiar theme park related projects, all PoV competitions will have players pitching to us various different projects for a variety of movie and television studios. This will be a more specialtity kind of project that will require players to think on their toes as new assignments get thrown their way.
For the first week, players will be tasked with pitching a five minute Pixar short for a future Pixar Animation Studios release. The short can take on any theme you want. You may tie it into an existing Pixar franchise if you wish, but keep in mind we'd prefer to see original characters here. You may use any format to present your pitch, but a mix of text, pictures, and maybe a video would be the best combination for success.
The people playing in the Power of Veto competition are Head of Household @Basketbuddy101
The two nominees: @brinneydee, @brb1006
Three houseguests selected by random draw: @IDInstitute, @gilm0114, @ToInfinityAndBeyond
The rest of the houseguests are sitting this project out.
Good luck everyone. Your final pitches are due on Tuesday, July 28th at 10:00 PM Eastern.
Just quoted the project. Good luck.
My grades so far...
@gilm0114
Creativity: 6.5/10 (I appreciated how you tired to mix a couple of different thematic ideas from previous shorts together, but at the end that's what it felt like...a bunch of different Pixar shorts in a blender essentially.)
Realism: 5/10 (I question if Pixar would go back to the cloud motif so soon, even if it's done in a completely different animation style.
Detail: 7/10 (All accounted for pretty well, but the ending felt a bit rushed... )
Presentation: 8/10 (Definitely the strongest element. Great music and pictures that helped set up the idea.)
Total: 26.5/40
@brinneydee
Creativity 10/10 (First 10/10 of the season from me, good job because you won't see that often.)
Detail: 9/10 (Set everything up perfectly and I loved the use of sensory details in your prose)
Realism: 7.5/10 (This is the question mark...would Pixar be bold enough to go for a short like this? My gut tells me yes, as Pixar has been solidly getting back to the "punch you in the gut" kind of emotions and this would just be another step forward in their storytelling.)
Presentation: 6/10 (Unfortunately your weak point. Even vague reference photos would have helped here...)
Total: 32.5/10
@Basketbuddy101
Creativity: 7.5/10 (Don't get me wrong...you had some STRONG stuff here, but the idea of a haunted house/paranormal stuff is nothing new in Disney or animation. While your prose was great, I felt like your opening paragraph was just a retelling of how well the exterior of Disneyland's Haunted Mansion works with it being nice looking on the outside yet having an off-putting vibe)
Detail: 9/10 (There were a few plot related things that left me scratching my head just a bit, but I see what you were going for from a "show, don't tell" kind of perspective. Overall very well written.)
Realism: 8.5/10 (Could definitely see Pixar handling ghosts in the near future. They seem to be "in" right now.)
Presentation: 9.5/10 (Only reason it isn't a ten is I already gave out my ten for the day. )
Total: 34/40
@Sam4D23 @JokersWild please start submitting your scores as soon as possible. I have a feeling things are going to get very close between Brinneydee and Basketbuddy!
@gilm0114
Creativity: 6.5/10 (I appreciated how you tired to mix a couple of different thematic ideas from previous shorts together, but at the end that's what it felt like...a bunch of different Pixar shorts in a blender essentially.)
Realism: 5/10 (I question if Pixar would go back to the cloud motif so soon, even if it's done in a completely different animation style.
Detail: 7/10 (All accounted for pretty well, but the ending felt a bit rushed... )
Presentation: 8/10 (Definitely the strongest element. Great music and pictures that helped set up the idea.)
Total: 26.5/40
@brinneydee
Creativity 10/10 (First 10/10 of the season from me, good job because you won't see that often.)
Detail: 9/10 (Set everything up perfectly and I loved the use of sensory details in your prose)
Realism: 7.5/10 (This is the question mark...would Pixar be bold enough to go for a short like this? My gut tells me yes, as Pixar has been solidly getting back to the "punch you in the gut" kind of emotions and this would just be another step forward in their storytelling.)
Presentation: 6/10 (Unfortunately your weak point. Even vague reference photos would have helped here...)
Total: 32.5/10
@Basketbuddy101
Creativity: 7.5/10 (Don't get me wrong...you had some STRONG stuff here, but the idea of a haunted house/paranormal stuff is nothing new in Disney or animation. While your prose was great, I felt like your opening paragraph was just a retelling of how well the exterior of Disneyland's Haunted Mansion works with it being nice looking on the outside yet having an off-putting vibe)
Detail: 9/10 (There were a few plot related things that left me scratching my head just a bit, but I see what you were going for from a "show, don't tell" kind of perspective. Overall very well written.)
Realism: 8.5/10 (Could definitely see Pixar handling ghosts in the near future. They seem to be "in" right now.)
Presentation: 9.5/10 (Only reason it isn't a ten is I already gave out my ten for the day.
)Total: 34/40
@Sam4D23 @JokersWild please start submitting your scores as soon as possible. I have a feeling things are going to get very close between Brinneydee and Basketbuddy!
brb1006
Well-Known Member
Since this is my first project, I'm going to give it my best shot.
Meowloween
The short "Meowloween" takes place a week before Halloween. The short stars a mother cat named "Blair" and her child named "Salem". The cats are owned by a friendly witch who lives near Transylvania. Their rival Dracula owns a two bats, one is a father bat named "Grim" and the young bat is named "Sharp". Dracula and the witch are longtime rivals who start a competition to see which one of them will be the for their annual Trick Or Treat party. Meanwhile their pets have secretly lives outside of their traditional Halloween appearances. Blair teaches Salem about being a normal cat since Blair learned alot of spells from the witch. While Grim teaches Sharp about being a fruit bat. Since Sharp is a fruit bat and Grim is a vampire bat who dislikes the concept of sucking blood. Two days before Halloween, Salem and Sharp accidentally stumble upon each other and somehow have both develop a secret crush on each other. They have to find a way to express how their really feel about eachother before Halloween begins and their owners take off to start their annual Halloween party.
The characters:
The witch: Not that much is known about her. But she's one of the few witches who are actually friendly around others is fond of owning black cats. She and Dracula are longtime rivals
Dracula: A longtime rival of The Witch and owns two pets. He doesn't like his second bat Sharp due to him not liking the creepy stuff he does.
Blair: The witch's longtime pet, who is very loyal to her and becomes an adoptive mother of Salem
Salem: A formerly orphaned kitten, who used to be owned by a poor family. Until his owner died one day and they decided to abandon the kitten due to financial issues. He develops a crush on Sharp.
Grim: A new pet of Dracula and also his first. Grim is a vampire bat who dislikes the idea of him sucking. He pretends to enjoy blood by tricking his owner with grape juice dyed red. He cares about his daughter's safety and teaches her about the history of fruit bats and what they like to eat.
Sharp: A female fruit bat who lives with Dracula. Sharp is sick of living with Dracula and tries to escape from Dracula's castle. She develops a crush on Blair.
Act I:
The short begins on the day a witch finds an orphaned kitten in a box near a dark alley. She decides to adopt the kitten and take him home to her castle. Since the alley is located near a village where witches are viewed very negatively. The witch only comes out during the night when the village is mostly asleep but a few villagers are searching for something suspicious going on. When she returns to her castle, she puts the kitten near a fireplace where the kitten first meets it's new mother. The witch decides to name the kitten "Salem" which is where she first found the kitten. The witch begins playing with the kitten, until she remembers that her rival Dracula is waiting for their next competition. She tells Blair that she will be back in a few hours and flys off into the night where various Halloween icons are participating for the "Trick Or Treat Party Competition". Salem is a male kitten who starts out getting scared at stuff that the witch owns which are actually gifts from Dracula. The now new mother Blair walks up to the nervous Salem and makes a gesture by comforting him. Since Blair knows Salem isn't used to living in a dark and creepy looking castle. She tells him about the history behind the witch that only she knows about.
Act II: The scenes cuts from The Witch's Castle to Dracula's Castle. Grim is finishing up his final lesson on the history of fruit bats. Sharp tells Grim that she's planning on living the castle a day before halloween. Grim get's very worried about this idea since Dracula has a long history of finding others out during a day before halloween. Sharp ignores what Grim is saying since she's looking forward to the outside world. Sharp never experiences life outside Dracula's castle due to Dracula being strict when it comes to escaping. The scene then cuts to a dream sequence where she's imagining what she will be seeing once she gets out. Including images of her eating fruit since Grim stolen a few during the night since he's avoiding giving her anything related to blood.
Act III: A few days later, it's the eve before Halloween and Blair and Salem are preparing for the halloween party. Both are dressed as traditional witches but Salem is given a rather unique look. The Witch and Dracula are the hosts of the event due to both winning a tie a day before the event kicks off. Salem follows her mother but ends up lost deep in the forest where wolfs are usually found. Meanwhile, Sharp finally escapes Dracula's castle and flys to a nearby deep forest. He hears meowing or some cat and follows the sound and hears Salem being surrounded by wolfs. They are about to attack the poor kitten until the bat starts biting at them to protect the kitten. After Sharp chases them away Salem looks at the bat in beings blushing. The female bat also turns around and does the same thing. Salem snaps out of it knowing it's a day before halloween and needs help finding her way back to her mother. Sharp decides to help her, but has to introduce herself which Salem has to do also. Sharp also apologizes to Salem for startling him during the wolf encounter. Sharp then tells Salem that she spotted a female cat wearing a witch costume looking for you. Salem then gets happy knowing that her mama is out looking for her. Sharp than flys with Salem following her. A few minutes later, they finally found Salem's mother. Blair begins hugging Salem and thanking the bat for finding his way back to her. Sharp introduces herself, and tells her about her experience with Dracula. She also reveals her relationship with Dracula and wants to live with Blair and Salem. Blair accepts Sharp being a new child to her knowing their owner has a long history with Dracula. When they return home, Blair decides to take a nap near the fire place. Leaving only Sharp and Salem being the only animals awake. This gives the two a cute moment, they discuss how they look,and how they look near the fireplace. They we're about to tell that they have a crush on eachother until the witch arrives home. She gets a little upset knowing the bat belongs to Dracula but accepts him being a new pet to her.
Climax: It's Halloween, and Salem and Sharp are helping out with the preparations for the Halloween Party with local animals. Sharp finally finds a bowl full of various fruits and puts them on the table. Blair tells her to not eat them until the party starts. Salem is daydreaming about Sharp due to how cute she looks to him and how beautiful her eyes and face look. Until he remembers it's Halloween and it's only two hours until the party begins. Sharp remembers how cute Salem looked when she first found him and has to think of a way to tell how much she really thinks of him. Near the end, Sharp and Salem accidentally tell their true feelings with eachother and Sharp kisses Salem on the cheek.
Please excuse the plot and some of the storytelling, I think I might need some work with this though.
Meowloween
The short "Meowloween" takes place a week before Halloween. The short stars a mother cat named "Blair" and her child named "Salem". The cats are owned by a friendly witch who lives near Transylvania. Their rival Dracula owns a two bats, one is a father bat named "Grim" and the young bat is named "Sharp". Dracula and the witch are longtime rivals who start a competition to see which one of them will be the for their annual Trick Or Treat party. Meanwhile their pets have secretly lives outside of their traditional Halloween appearances. Blair teaches Salem about being a normal cat since Blair learned alot of spells from the witch. While Grim teaches Sharp about being a fruit bat. Since Sharp is a fruit bat and Grim is a vampire bat who dislikes the concept of sucking blood. Two days before Halloween, Salem and Sharp accidentally stumble upon each other and somehow have both develop a secret crush on each other. They have to find a way to express how their really feel about eachother before Halloween begins and their owners take off to start their annual Halloween party.
The characters:
The witch: Not that much is known about her. But she's one of the few witches who are actually friendly around others is fond of owning black cats. She and Dracula are longtime rivals
Dracula: A longtime rival of The Witch and owns two pets. He doesn't like his second bat Sharp due to him not liking the creepy stuff he does.
Blair: The witch's longtime pet, who is very loyal to her and becomes an adoptive mother of Salem
Salem: A formerly orphaned kitten, who used to be owned by a poor family. Until his owner died one day and they decided to abandon the kitten due to financial issues. He develops a crush on Sharp.
Grim: A new pet of Dracula and also his first. Grim is a vampire bat who dislikes the idea of him sucking. He pretends to enjoy blood by tricking his owner with grape juice dyed red. He cares about his daughter's safety and teaches her about the history of fruit bats and what they like to eat.
Sharp: A female fruit bat who lives with Dracula. Sharp is sick of living with Dracula and tries to escape from Dracula's castle. She develops a crush on Blair.
Act I:
The short begins on the day a witch finds an orphaned kitten in a box near a dark alley. She decides to adopt the kitten and take him home to her castle. Since the alley is located near a village where witches are viewed very negatively. The witch only comes out during the night when the village is mostly asleep but a few villagers are searching for something suspicious going on. When she returns to her castle, she puts the kitten near a fireplace where the kitten first meets it's new mother. The witch decides to name the kitten "Salem" which is where she first found the kitten. The witch begins playing with the kitten, until she remembers that her rival Dracula is waiting for their next competition. She tells Blair that she will be back in a few hours and flys off into the night where various Halloween icons are participating for the "Trick Or Treat Party Competition". Salem is a male kitten who starts out getting scared at stuff that the witch owns which are actually gifts from Dracula. The now new mother Blair walks up to the nervous Salem and makes a gesture by comforting him. Since Blair knows Salem isn't used to living in a dark and creepy looking castle. She tells him about the history behind the witch that only she knows about.
Act II: The scenes cuts from The Witch's Castle to Dracula's Castle. Grim is finishing up his final lesson on the history of fruit bats. Sharp tells Grim that she's planning on living the castle a day before halloween. Grim get's very worried about this idea since Dracula has a long history of finding others out during a day before halloween. Sharp ignores what Grim is saying since she's looking forward to the outside world. Sharp never experiences life outside Dracula's castle due to Dracula being strict when it comes to escaping. The scene then cuts to a dream sequence where she's imagining what she will be seeing once she gets out. Including images of her eating fruit since Grim stolen a few during the night since he's avoiding giving her anything related to blood.
Act III: A few days later, it's the eve before Halloween and Blair and Salem are preparing for the halloween party. Both are dressed as traditional witches but Salem is given a rather unique look. The Witch and Dracula are the hosts of the event due to both winning a tie a day before the event kicks off. Salem follows her mother but ends up lost deep in the forest where wolfs are usually found. Meanwhile, Sharp finally escapes Dracula's castle and flys to a nearby deep forest. He hears meowing or some cat and follows the sound and hears Salem being surrounded by wolfs. They are about to attack the poor kitten until the bat starts biting at them to protect the kitten. After Sharp chases them away Salem looks at the bat in beings blushing. The female bat also turns around and does the same thing. Salem snaps out of it knowing it's a day before halloween and needs help finding her way back to her mother. Sharp decides to help her, but has to introduce herself which Salem has to do also. Sharp also apologizes to Salem for startling him during the wolf encounter. Sharp then tells Salem that she spotted a female cat wearing a witch costume looking for you. Salem then gets happy knowing that her mama is out looking for her. Sharp than flys with Salem following her. A few minutes later, they finally found Salem's mother. Blair begins hugging Salem and thanking the bat for finding his way back to her. Sharp introduces herself, and tells her about her experience with Dracula. She also reveals her relationship with Dracula and wants to live with Blair and Salem. Blair accepts Sharp being a new child to her knowing their owner has a long history with Dracula. When they return home, Blair decides to take a nap near the fire place. Leaving only Sharp and Salem being the only animals awake. This gives the two a cute moment, they discuss how they look,and how they look near the fireplace. They we're about to tell that they have a crush on eachother until the witch arrives home. She gets a little upset knowing the bat belongs to Dracula but accepts him being a new pet to her.
Climax: It's Halloween, and Salem and Sharp are helping out with the preparations for the Halloween Party with local animals. Sharp finally finds a bowl full of various fruits and puts them on the table. Blair tells her to not eat them until the party starts. Salem is daydreaming about Sharp due to how cute she looks to him and how beautiful her eyes and face look. Until he remembers it's Halloween and it's only two hours until the party begins. Sharp remembers how cute Salem looked when she first found him and has to think of a way to tell how much she really thinks of him. Near the end, Sharp and Salem accidentally tell their true feelings with eachother and Sharp kisses Salem on the cheek.
Please excuse the plot and some of the storytelling, I think I might need some work with this though.
Sam Magic
Well-Known Member
@gilm0114
Creativity: 7/10 (I actually really liked this idea. It was friendly and funny. Had a Pixar vibe.)
Realism: 9/10 (I could totally see this being made out in Pasadena. It screamed Pixar to me)
Detail: 6/10 (Ending was rushed, but all around it was good.)
Presentation: 9/10 (Very nice presentation. All of your elements came together and made something really nice and easy to read)
Total: 31/40
@brinneydee
Creativity 10/10 (Very new idea. It was emotional and honestly allowing Disney-Pixar to tell an important story)
Detail: 10/10 (While reading through this I could picture everything. Your details were spot on and perfectly described the short)
Realism: 9/10 (I agree with the other judges that this is a question mark, but I think Pixar enjoys telling powerful story's, which this is certainly. So I could honestly see this being made.)
Presentation: 8/10 (Pictures would have been nice, but you didn't rely on them. Instead you brilliantly described the short in almost storyboard detail)
Total: 37/40
@Basketbuddy101
Creativity: 7/10 (Very strongly written and creative things going on, but haunted anything is such a tired out concept. It has been done so many times.)
Detail: 8/10 (The plot was confusing for me. I think you could have done a much better job describing the short. Overall though, as Tiki said, it was well written)
Realism: 9/10 (I'll never give a 10/10 in this area, but I could TOTALLY see this being made.)
Presentation: 9/10 (Fantastic Presentation!)
Total: 33/40
@brb1006
Creativity: 7/10 (Reminded me a bit of Hotel Transylvania, but it was new and quite funny.)
Detail: 8.5/10 (Fantastic detail here! You summed up your plot, then went deep into the details of the short. I could picture it well.)
Realism: 8/10 (Seemed more like a Disney short to me, but I could see it in Pixar's style. Overall I think it's possible...especially for a film that would come out around Halloween.)
Presentation: 6/10 ( Your presentation was okay. A lot of text. I would have liked to see some pictures or spooky music...something to make it pop and get me in the mood.)
Total: 29.5/40
Creativity: 7/10 (I actually really liked this idea. It was friendly and funny. Had a Pixar vibe.)
Realism: 9/10 (I could totally see this being made out in Pasadena. It screamed Pixar to me)
Detail: 6/10 (Ending was rushed, but all around it was good.)
Presentation: 9/10 (Very nice presentation. All of your elements came together and made something really nice and easy to read)
Total: 31/40
@brinneydee
Creativity 10/10 (Very new idea. It was emotional and honestly allowing Disney-Pixar to tell an important story)
Detail: 10/10 (While reading through this I could picture everything. Your details were spot on and perfectly described the short)
Realism: 9/10 (I agree with the other judges that this is a question mark, but I think Pixar enjoys telling powerful story's, which this is certainly. So I could honestly see this being made.)
Presentation: 8/10 (Pictures would have been nice, but you didn't rely on them. Instead you brilliantly described the short in almost storyboard detail)
Total: 37/40
@Basketbuddy101
Creativity: 7/10 (Very strongly written and creative things going on, but haunted anything is such a tired out concept. It has been done so many times.)
Detail: 8/10 (The plot was confusing for me. I think you could have done a much better job describing the short. Overall though, as Tiki said, it was well written)
Realism: 9/10 (I'll never give a 10/10 in this area, but I could TOTALLY see this being made.)
Presentation: 9/10 (Fantastic Presentation!)
Total: 33/40
@brb1006
Creativity: 7/10 (Reminded me a bit of Hotel Transylvania, but it was new and quite funny.)
Detail: 8.5/10 (Fantastic detail here! You summed up your plot, then went deep into the details of the short. I could picture it well.)
Realism: 8/10 (Seemed more like a Disney short to me, but I could see it in Pixar's style. Overall I think it's possible...especially for a film that would come out around Halloween.)
Presentation: 6/10 ( Your presentation was okay. A lot of text. I would have liked to see some pictures or spooky music...something to make it pop and get me in the mood.)
Total: 29.5/40
JokersWild
Well-Known Member
@gilm0114 - "Ancient Storm"
First off, I'd like to quickly mention that I really love that you based your film entirely off of a piece of music. Music is really incredibly important to Pixar shorts, so this definitely fits the bill.
It's very interesting that you set this short in the dawn of civilization. It seems to make for sweeping visuals and music, but, to me, I'm not entirely sure it feels like a Pixar short. Perhaps if you went a slight bit brighter. This does seem incredibly breathtaking visually, but adding a face to a cloud doesn't necessarily make it a Pixar film.
As Tiki mentioned, this definitely has hints of a few different Pixar shorts, which isn't a bad thing - it's just not quite as original as it could have been.
This is definitely a great proposal - I just feel that there are a few relatively easy fixes that could have set it over the edge, and possibly made it the MOST Pixar-y film here.
Creativity - 7/10: Certainly creative; I just think that you could have possibly used a few less ideas we've seen in Pixar shorts before.
Detail - 7/10: Fine amount of detail. Maybe a little more?
Realism - 9/10: Despite this not necessarily being entirely original or groundbreaking, it certainly felt like a Pixar short.
Presentation - 7/10: Pictures were nice. Music was certainly welcome.
Total - 30/40
@brinneydee - "Different"
To say I am torn is an understatement. On one hand, this is an incredible look at what it "feels" to be an autistic child - something that I don't believe has really been shown on film before. On the other hand, it doesn't really go anywhere, and, more importantly, doesn't feel like a Pixar short. Through reading this, I could certainly tell that this, I assume, is something very close to you. It absolutely showed as there was a ton of detail and a surprising insight into how autistic children operate.
Let me first say that this was the only film of the four presented that I could, without question, picture in my head. I saw this perfectly. I could hear how the music and sound cuts out as the child deeply focuses on what he's doing, I could see how the living room was set up, I could see it all. As a filmmaker, I want to make this film. Immediately. However, this doesn't feel like a Pixar film to me. While it certainly has the experimentation that many Pixar shorts have, this feels more like an indie film, or a college animation project to me. Not to discredit what you've written - I mean this in the most flattering way. This sounds absolutely...incredible - just not a Pixar short.
Really my only real criticism is that this doesn't seem to go anywhere. Perhaps that was the point, and it totally fits if that was your intention, it was just really more of a vignette than a story. Overall, spectacular job - it just didn't seem like a Pixar film, and could have used a bit of resolution in the end.
Creativity - 10/10: Absolutely out of the box and spectacular.
Detail - 8.5/10: A fine amount of detail. Almost everything explained. I only wonder if you intended this film to be shot in first person or third person.
Realism - 5.5/10: This is where you lost me. It doesn't feel like a Pixar film to me. While the film was certainly realistic, the project was to make a Pixar short.
Presentation - 7/10: No problems. Could have used some pictures perhaps.
Total - 31/40
@Basketbuddy101 - "Beyond"
Great film. This certainly felt like a Pixar film. It was perhaps a bit macabre, but it the book was still a very fun plot device. The art was great, as usual, and certainly helped give an idea of the story. If I have one suggestion, it's that you perhaps make the film silent. It doesn't need dialogue. The story plays just fine without.
Creativity - 7/10: While I love the idea, ghosts aren't exactly original.
Detail - 8.5/10: Fine amount of detail. Nothing was really confusing, or felt left out.
Realism - 9/10: Honestly, this is the film I could see Pixar making.
Presentation - 8/10: Fine presentation. I just wish you'd like to "The House by the Railroad." Also, you mentioned that Dennis Hopper painted it. I didn't deduct points for it, I just found it amusing.
Total - 32.5/40
@brb1006 - "Meowloween"
Certainly a good start. As Sam mentioned, this feels much more like Hotel Transylvania than a Pixar film, probably because of the subject matter. I can definitely picture it in Pixar style rather than Tartakovsky's, it just doesn't quite feel like a Pixar film.
Really my only problem with this is that it's not a short. The story isn't self-contained. There's a ton of backstory and set up, you have a three act structure (which you haven't set up properly, I might add), and you just wrote too much for a five minute short. That said, this could be a charming film. With a few tweaks (you forgot about a few plot points and seemed to stop in the middle of the story you seemed to be setting up), you could have a pretty damn charming animated film, or hour-long special. Just not a five minute short.
Creativity - 7/10: Though rooted in Hotel Transylvania, you did put together a rather nice story.
Detail - 9.5/10: A ton of detail. You went beat by beat through the story, which is greatly appreciated. Perhaps there was too much detail? Not that you shouldn't continue to put that much detail in your projects.
Realism - 6/10: Again, this doesn't feel like a Pixar short, or any short. This would probably be a TV special.
Presentation - 3/10: I don't usually grade this low because, frankly, I don't care about presentation, but half of your project is underlined, with the other half bolded. Couple that with quite a few instances of missing/ misused words, and you have a project that's difficult to read. I would suggest proofreading before posting.
Total - 25/40
Great job, everyone, as usual. Apologies for taking so long, my internet has been weird today.
First off, I'd like to quickly mention that I really love that you based your film entirely off of a piece of music. Music is really incredibly important to Pixar shorts, so this definitely fits the bill.
It's very interesting that you set this short in the dawn of civilization. It seems to make for sweeping visuals and music, but, to me, I'm not entirely sure it feels like a Pixar short. Perhaps if you went a slight bit brighter. This does seem incredibly breathtaking visually, but adding a face to a cloud doesn't necessarily make it a Pixar film.
As Tiki mentioned, this definitely has hints of a few different Pixar shorts, which isn't a bad thing - it's just not quite as original as it could have been.
This is definitely a great proposal - I just feel that there are a few relatively easy fixes that could have set it over the edge, and possibly made it the MOST Pixar-y film here.
Creativity - 7/10: Certainly creative; I just think that you could have possibly used a few less ideas we've seen in Pixar shorts before.
Detail - 7/10: Fine amount of detail. Maybe a little more?
Realism - 9/10: Despite this not necessarily being entirely original or groundbreaking, it certainly felt like a Pixar short.
Presentation - 7/10: Pictures were nice. Music was certainly welcome.
Total - 30/40
@brinneydee - "Different"
To say I am torn is an understatement. On one hand, this is an incredible look at what it "feels" to be an autistic child - something that I don't believe has really been shown on film before. On the other hand, it doesn't really go anywhere, and, more importantly, doesn't feel like a Pixar short. Through reading this, I could certainly tell that this, I assume, is something very close to you. It absolutely showed as there was a ton of detail and a surprising insight into how autistic children operate.
Let me first say that this was the only film of the four presented that I could, without question, picture in my head. I saw this perfectly. I could hear how the music and sound cuts out as the child deeply focuses on what he's doing, I could see how the living room was set up, I could see it all. As a filmmaker, I want to make this film. Immediately. However, this doesn't feel like a Pixar film to me. While it certainly has the experimentation that many Pixar shorts have, this feels more like an indie film, or a college animation project to me. Not to discredit what you've written - I mean this in the most flattering way. This sounds absolutely...incredible - just not a Pixar short.
Really my only real criticism is that this doesn't seem to go anywhere. Perhaps that was the point, and it totally fits if that was your intention, it was just really more of a vignette than a story. Overall, spectacular job - it just didn't seem like a Pixar film, and could have used a bit of resolution in the end.
Creativity - 10/10: Absolutely out of the box and spectacular.
Detail - 8.5/10: A fine amount of detail. Almost everything explained. I only wonder if you intended this film to be shot in first person or third person.
Realism - 5.5/10: This is where you lost me. It doesn't feel like a Pixar film to me. While the film was certainly realistic, the project was to make a Pixar short.
Presentation - 7/10: No problems. Could have used some pictures perhaps.
Total - 31/40
@Basketbuddy101 - "Beyond"
Great film. This certainly felt like a Pixar film. It was perhaps a bit macabre, but it the book was still a very fun plot device. The art was great, as usual, and certainly helped give an idea of the story. If I have one suggestion, it's that you perhaps make the film silent. It doesn't need dialogue. The story plays just fine without.
Creativity - 7/10: While I love the idea, ghosts aren't exactly original.
Detail - 8.5/10: Fine amount of detail. Nothing was really confusing, or felt left out.
Realism - 9/10: Honestly, this is the film I could see Pixar making.
Presentation - 8/10: Fine presentation. I just wish you'd like to "The House by the Railroad." Also, you mentioned that Dennis Hopper painted it. I didn't deduct points for it, I just found it amusing.
Total - 32.5/40
@brb1006 - "Meowloween"
Certainly a good start. As Sam mentioned, this feels much more like Hotel Transylvania than a Pixar film, probably because of the subject matter. I can definitely picture it in Pixar style rather than Tartakovsky's, it just doesn't quite feel like a Pixar film.
Really my only problem with this is that it's not a short. The story isn't self-contained. There's a ton of backstory and set up, you have a three act structure (which you haven't set up properly, I might add), and you just wrote too much for a five minute short. That said, this could be a charming film. With a few tweaks (you forgot about a few plot points and seemed to stop in the middle of the story you seemed to be setting up), you could have a pretty damn charming animated film, or hour-long special. Just not a five minute short.
Creativity - 7/10: Though rooted in Hotel Transylvania, you did put together a rather nice story.
Detail - 9.5/10: A ton of detail. You went beat by beat through the story, which is greatly appreciated. Perhaps there was too much detail? Not that you shouldn't continue to put that much detail in your projects.
Realism - 6/10: Again, this doesn't feel like a Pixar short, or any short. This would probably be a TV special.
Presentation - 3/10: I don't usually grade this low because, frankly, I don't care about presentation, but half of your project is underlined, with the other half bolded. Couple that with quite a few instances of missing/ misused words, and you have a project that's difficult to read. I would suggest proofreading before posting.
Total - 25/40
Great job, everyone, as usual. Apologies for taking so long, my internet has been weird today.