Hey gang, you want to hear something hilarious? I got this card in the mail this past weekend...
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And I got all giddy and scanned the QR code and took their survey (I covered the code up partially so you can't steal my fun from me). For a moment I thought
"Should I try to pretend to be someone else on this survey? Because God knows the Nielsen folks aren't going to care what an old, white, confirmed bachelor in the desert thinks about TV!"... but then I calmed down and thought
"Just be honest!", so I was. After the survey I got a choice of three gift cards, and I chose the $20 Target card because I always love a good Target Run.
I asked the couple next door if they got a Nielsen card too, and they didn't. Then... silence.
But today, I received a text reminder and an email with a further survey that went far more in depth about who I am, how many TV's I have, what type of cable and streaming services I subscribe to, how fast my Internet connection is (1 Gig!), etc. And just a few hours later I got a reply that.... wait for it... I'm going to be a 2025 Nielsen Family!!!!
I'm going to have "measuring devices" (their words, sounds creepy doesn't it?) sent to me, and I get a nominal monthly payment for allowing them to track my every move via my TV screens. Me, a Nielsen Family! I can die a happy man now knowing I'm a powerful influencer. I just wish my Aunt Ingrid was alive to see this, she'd be
sooooo jealous! 
Starting in February, I'm going to be tuning my TV's to pretty much only the following shows, roughly in order of importance;
Gutfeld! on Fox News Channel
The Five on Fox News Channel
Jesse Watters Primetime on Fox News Channel
Any movie starring;
Rosalind Russell, Doris Day, Rock Hudson, Annette Funicello & Frankie Avalon, and/or
Elvis Presley
Reruns of
The Love Boat,
Fantasy Island,
Portlandia,
Laverne & Shirley,
Soul Train, and
Bewitched
Season 3 of
The Gilded Age on HBO
And at least an hour per week of
Antiques Roadshow
Sadly, nothing offered by The Walt Disney Company and its media empire makes my list. And I do
not have a subscription to Disney+ or Hulu, and the Nielsen folks already know that.
But I hope you are ready to see your future airwaves blanketed with that type of programming above, thanks to my all-powerful viewing habits. That's Burbank's fault, not mine.
I'm a Nielsen Family!!!! 
www.mediaplaynews.com
