My friend is letting her Dad control her life

[cdunbar]

Hey guys so my friend is buying her first home, and obviously this is a big step for her. My Dad is selling her the house. She found her dream house, it had everything she wanted down to the built-ins in the dinning room. Here's the thing she's not buying it! Her Dad thinks something is wrong with the house though my Dad says otherwise, mind you he's been selling real estate for 30 years. So he somehow has managed to talk her out of the house she wanted. Mind you her Dad doesn't like me and calls me to strong-willed, and outspoken to be her best friend. Anyways I'm not allowed to say anything to her about my opinion, because I'm afraid it'll hurt her relationship with her dad because he is the kind who if she went against him she would have to pay for it later. But now things have gotten even worse! She is buying a house that is not in the area she wants to live in, is a historic home which she doesn't want, and has only 2 bedrooms 1 bath while she wanted a 4/2. She told me herself that the house nothing special and she didn't even like it. She lost her mom when we were 15, were 22 now, and she's always rebuked her dad until now. I want to say to her "Hello, you're 22 years old don't let him make such a big decision as this for you!" What do I do!?

 

[EpcotServo]

I'm no expert in people or drama, but if you want to say that, I'd say that and see what happens.
:lol:

 

[cdunbar]

Yeah well her dad is old school. Somehow if I said that to her, he make it all into my fault and make her thing I was just trying to turn her against him. This, I'm starting to discover, is a question that has no answer.

 

[kstella]

You are best to stay out of it. It will only end up damaging your relationship with her if you push the issue. As you say, she is 22. Then when she realizes what a mistake she's made she can be angry at him and not you.

 

[ThinkTink721]

My parents are very similar to what you described regarding your friend's Dad.
If I went against the grain on anything that they thought, I was ridiculed.
I hope that she can stand up to him & let him know that this is her decision.
I understand that he may be doing it to protect her, but she has to learn on her own.
She is 22 now & can make her own decisions.
If she asks for his advice, then he should give it.
Believe me, I understand this sort of predicament.
My parents & I have a strained relationship to this day.
I have tried to make things work, but they always seem to have to be in control & I am a few years older than 22 now.
I hope that your friend can find a way to talk to her Dad & fix the relationship.
I wasn't that lucky.
My advice to you is to be there for her when she needs someone to listen & try not to "fix" things.
Only the two people in the feud can really fix it.
:wave:

 

[k.hunter30]

It's her down payment and her soon-to-be mortgage (she's not using any of dad's $)? You could politely and briefly remind her of that. But that's about all you can do. :shrug: