Losing a Disney loved one

[disneynut4u]

My sister, who was 33, with 3 young children, died last month after complications from the flu. She was a Disney junkie like me. We had a trip already planned for this December, but while she was in the hospital, we postponed the trip til next year in May (doctors said if she made it, it would take that long to recuperate). However, she did not make it. She wanted so badly to take her 3 year old daughter to see Cinderella. My question is this: should my other sister & I try to take the kids for her? If any of you have been in this spot before, did you enjoy your trip, knowing that your loved one wasn't there who always was before?

 

[switts]

I myself have never been in that kind of situation, but if this had happened to me i would want someone in my family to take my son. I know it would be hard but i would want my brothers to show my son what i enjoyed very much growing up and hopefully he would come to love the world as much as i do

 

[Master Yoda]

Take the kids. It certainly seems like that is what your sister would want.

 

[heartodisney]

First of all, my prayers be with you and all of your family. This is a very tough thing to work out. Time does heal all wounds, but the loss of any love one is very rough..esp. one SO young...I work in a hospital and it is always rough to any family member and the staff that works and has gotten aquanted with all involved. I would say to try and take them, but it will be up to you and other family when the time is right. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[Patrick_Ears]

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Yes i think your sister would want you to take them and enjoy it together. She will be there watching you all.

You know i'm taking my two neices this year for the first because there parents is going through a divorce and i know these girls will not get a chance to see Disney World. So me and the wife along with our two kids is going this Easter. We are doing this to try and get there minds off of what's going on and so far it's working... My mom said that was sweet of me to do that for them. Yeah there Uncle just loves them hehe

Remember we are hear for you!!

 

[ddbowdoin]

Sorry for your loss, this is never an easy situation for anyone. I would say that your sister is in a better place looking down on you and the rest of the family. I would say take the kids... its what she would want you to do. There are a lot of things you could do with the kids... for an example, go to any of the balloon stands on Main Street USA and bring a sharpie, have the kids right messages on the balloon and let it go once they're done... explain to them that theyre sending mom a postcard from disney world, her favorite place.

 

[Pooh'sBuddy]

I'm so sorry for your loss. By all means, offer to their dad to take them. I can't think of a better tribute than to share their mom's love with them.

 

[stratman50th]

I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
My mother was the Disney nut of the family. It was because of her that we went every year. Disney became more than a vacation, it became a tradition. My parents lived in MD, but had season passes. They would go at Christmas just to look at decorations. She was a little girl running around in a 71 year old body (That meant something to most people, but not so much on this forum as everyone here actually gets it).
My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in August of 2008, just three months after our last Disney trip. She died in April 2009. We had the same dilemma. If we go, will it be bad? Will it be too painful to be there when the driving force was gone? We decided that she would want nothing better than for us to go and remember the great times we had together, and not think of it as being bad, so we went. My dad just couldn't go. He was just too devastated. We really enjoyed the trip. We knew that mom was right there with us and her memory made it what it was.
We went again last year and this time my dad felt he was up to the trip. 'm glad he was with us because sadly, two months later my dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer also. He died in December 2010.
My family is so happy we had those memories to carry with us forever. We will continue to make our yearly trip to Disney, not only for us, but in memory to two people who also loved life and being there.
Go and enjoy! Life is too short.

 

[olinecoach61]

I am very sorry for your loss. I would go and bring the kids, let them enjoy the magic and fulfill a wish of your sister.

 

[cynic710]

i cant imagine the loss you are going through. as a man of faith i pray that a humble ease is over your family.

i think you should take the kids. your sister, as a disney junkie, would appreciate them enjoying a little happiness in her honor.

again, i am sorry for your loss.

 

[powlessfamily4]

I am so sorry for your loss, your family is in my prayers.

Absolutely, positively take those kids to Disney. Your sister loved WDW so much she wanted to share it with her children. Now it is time for you to step in and make sure these kids have the adventure their Mother wanted for them. You need to always tell them how much she loved it. It will give them a place to go to feel connected to her as the years go by. Whether you go this year or two years from now is up to you. I believe timing is everything and you need to do it when you know you can make it a positive experience for the kids.

 

[disneynut4u]

Sorry for your loss, this is never an easy situation for anyone. I would say that your sister is in a better place looking down on you and the rest of the family. I would say take the kids... its what she would want you to do. There are a lot of things you could do with the kids... for an example, go to any of the balloon stands on Main Street USA and bring a sharpie, have the kids right messages on the balloon and let it go once they're done... explain to them that theyre sending mom a postcard from disney world, her favorite place.

What an AWESOME idea!!! I LOVE that!!! Thank you, and thank all of you for your thoughts. This has been hard, and I just didn't know if I could go back without her. But we're focusing on the kids and want them to go to a place she loved. Thank you!

 

[disneynut4u]

I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
My mother was the Disney nut of the family. It was because of her that we went every year. Disney became more than a vacation, it became a tradition. My parents lived in MD, but had season passes. They would go at Christmas just to look at decorations. She was a little girl running around in a 71 year old body (That meant something to most people, but not so much on this forum as everyone here actually gets it).
My mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer in August of 2008, just three months after our last Disney trip. She died in April 2009. We had the same dilemma. If we go, will it be bad? Will it be too painful to be there when the driving force was gone? We decided that she would want nothing better than for us to go and remember the great times we had together, and not think of it as being bad, so we went. My dad just couldn't go. He was just too devastated. We really enjoyed the trip. We knew that mom was right there with us and her memory made it what it was.
We went again last year and this time my dad felt he was up to the trip. 'm glad he was with us because sadly, two months later my dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer also. He died in December 2010.
My family is so happy we had those memories to carry with us forever. We will continue to make our yearly trip to Disney, not only for us, but in memory to two people who also loved life and being there.
Go and enjoy! Life is too short.

Thank you. You know how we're feeling. Bless you, too.

 

[stratman50th]

Thank you. You know how we're feeling. Bless you, too.

I do know, and all I can offer is that you try not to look at it as a loss (I know it is, but in your heart try and see it as honoring your sister's memory). Think of what she would have wanted and try to make that happen. Something you might consider is the pictures at the entrance of EPCOT (don't recall the official name) see if you can give them a family picture of her's to put on the walls as a memorial.

I like the paving stone we have, but I can't get another with a "In memory of" since they don't do it any longer.

Sorry for your loss, this is never an easy situation for anyone. I would say that your sister is in a better place looking down on you and the rest of the family. I would say take the kids... its what she would want you to do. There are a lot of things you could do with the kids... for an example, go to any of the balloon stands on Main Street USA and bring a sharpie, have the kids right messages on the balloon and let it go once they're done... explain to them that theyre sending mom a postcard from disney world, her favorite place.

I love this idea!

 

[dave&di]

My heart goes out to you and your family. Go, what better place to go to celebrate your sisters life. The trip may make you all stronger and hopefully you will feel her with you, as she would want to be there.

There are great replies on this thread, much wiser than mine, I hope they help.

Lots of love to you and yours <3

 

[fauna]

I am so sorry for your loss - I've lost two of my brothers so you have my complete sympathy and empathy.

I have wonderful, precious memories of visiting WDW with my brothers when we were growing up. One of my DB was only 10.5 months older than me, and he LOVED WDW. Unfortunately, he was quite ill and passed away before we could have a big family trip. He would have had a blast seeing WDW with my kids (he was the best uncle ever and my kids ADORED him.) When we took my kids for the first time, I was really worried that it might be really difficult for me - so many memories. But, I also knew that my DB would have been FURIOUS with me if I didn't take them to WDW.

So, I agree with all the pp - take the kids to WDW. I'm not saying it won't be hard sometimes. It will. (of all things, LMA makes me cry because all I can think of is how much my DB would have LOVED seeing that with my DS).

I know the saying is that "time heals all wounds." I don't really know if that's true. But over time I hope you and your family learn how to cope with your loss, and cherished memories and funny stories about your sister bring not just a tear to your eye but also a smile to your face.

 

[disneynut4u]

Something you might consider is the pictures at the entrance of EPCOT (don't recall the official name) see if you can give them a family picture of her's to put on the walls as a memorial.

I like the paving stone we have, but I can't get another with a "In memory of" since they don't do it any longer.

I love that idea! I will take a pic from her last WDW trip and see if they can use that on the wall at EPCOT! That way, she will always have a place at WDW!!! Thanks for the idea.

You guys have been fantastic. I have called my other sister, dad, mom, and brother, and told them about these ideas. They loved them as well. thank you so much for the thoughts. We are the Carathers family from Louisiana!!

 

[yensid67]

Disneynut4u,

I just wanted to echo all the posts and say how much "our" love is sent to you via the posts. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family. I am in a similar situation...

I worked for WDW in 1998-1999, my parents FINALLY took a week vacation to visit me, their first EVER vacation in their lives after raising 7 kids! I have since lost both my Mom and Dad. The only memories I really think about are those we made at Disney World. My Mom was deathly afraid of water, BUT we got her on a boat at Epcot. and my Dad was worse than me being a kid again. So there is NOTHING in this world I want to do than to go back and be in the place my parents were the most happiest. My partner and I are going to WDW in December 2012. For me its a trip to remember the only time I really saw my parents having a good time!

So...I say a big DITTO to taking your trip with the kids, but only when the time is right. The balloon messages idea is a good one and hope you do it! By making your trip to WDW a positive more over a negative is the best way to go. Do for others while you are at the parks by doing simple things, like get fastpasses for the major attractions and then hand them to someone waiting in line! or buy a balloon and give it away to a waiting child! Things like this will make you feel better and you can secretly do it in honor of your sister.!

Hope you have a wonderful trip and PLEASE report back to us and let us know how it went!

 

[Mukta]

I am so sorry for your loss. I think taking her daughter to see Cinderella is a beautiful tribute to your sister. Your niece is very lucky to have wonderful family members like you.

 

[wild01ride]

My prayers go out to you and your family for your loss.
I can't even imagine losing someone so young when it seems as if you have so much time left together.

Definitely go to WDW with your sister's kids.
As many have said, I', sure it's what she would want for them.
And what better place to remember the joy that you and your sister shared, as well as putting your sadness to rest?!

Growing up, my Grandparents introduced us to WDW and we shared so much joy and so many wonderful family memories there.
They've both since passed away, but there is never a single trip to WDW, or even a thought about anything Disney-related, that I don't associate with them and the happiness that they introduced to my life (and that I've been fortunate enough to pass on to my wife and son).

One thing's for sure from this situation, and it's that we can never be too confident about the time we have with loved ones.
I hope that thinking about this can help me to cherish loved ones and memories that much more to make the most of the time I have with them.

Best wishes and please have an amazing trip! :wave: