Kindness (or lack of) on the forums

[magic minnie]

Although I haven't made many posts, I look at the forums almost daily. Something I have noticed, that really kind of bothers me, is the rudeness I encounter in reading some of the posts. Now, please don't blast me and give me negative feedback for this, because we all know it's true and I really just wanted to start some discussion on this.:animwink:

I often see an extrememly rude post that was completely uncalled for . . . this was especially prevalent on the post about the husband's boss who denied his vacation time. People were so mean in some instances, and for no reason whatsoever. I understand people have a right to their opinions and also a right to express them. I further understand when someone lashes out at you, a semi-rude post in reply can be expected. In addition, I understand and sympathize with the frustration you all feel when people make up theme park development "secrets" and say they know a source high up in the company. I'm talking about the cruel and rude comments made for no particular reason.

I guess my question here is, why the cruelty and rudeness when uncalled for? Is it due to the anonymity of the web? Many of the things said on here would never be said to one's face. It's just very odd to see such rudeness and cruelty when this forum is mainly discussion about a wonderful, carefree place where you are treated (for the most part) with great kindness by cast members and other guests! :veryconfu

 

[wdwmagic]

You are right in that people often say things on the web that they would never dare say in person. They use the anonymity of the web to take out their frustrations on others.

I would say that the vast majority of members here do not behave in the way you describe.

If there are ever any posts that you do not like the tone of, I woudl encourage you to use the REPORT TO MODERATOR link beside the post, and it will be looked at.

Thanks

 

[magic minnie]

I agree most of the members don't act this way. Sometimes, a totally normal stream of good conversation will be going, and someone will say something that seems to just be mean for no reason. I'm not particularly offended by anything I read here, I'm just looking for feedback on what everyone else thinks about these random posts of meanness! :animwink:

 

[wdwmagic]

Unfortunately there is nothing that can really be done about it. If you take 20,000 people, and let them post whatever they want to, you can gurantee that some of the conversation will turn unpleasant. Fortunately, members who arent a positive influence on the forums often dont stay around for very long.

 

[Erika]

Minnie,

This is a pretty big forum, which means we'll have more mean people- but also more nice people. I try to ignore cruel posts (not always successfully) and focus more on the kind ones. I've come to know a lot of great people here. Others, I'd prefer not to meet in the real world.

 

[magic minnie]

Well, this is really the only forum I've ever gotten into posting on or reading, so I don't have a lot of experience in this type of thing. I'm sure this is completely mild compared to everything else out there. I'm not kicking on the site or anything . . . I love reading what everyone has to say and also enjoy seeing the many updates and pictures available. Sometimes you just wonder what makes people tick!

 

[wdwmagic]

Sometimes you just wonder what makes people tick!

Agreed! I find it amazing that I actually have to ban people from a Disney forum for behaving like idiots. 99.9% of people can behave like adults, but there is always that minority who are incapable of sensible behavior.

 

[barnum42]

Sometimes you just wonder what makes people tick!

That's a good summary of it!

As has been said, the law of averages states that when you get so many people together some will turn up just to annoy others, some are too hard headed to admit they may have made a mistake and will go straight on the offensive and it's probably fair to say that some should step away from the keyboard after they have had one cocktail too many

For the most part I have a great time with the folk on here and come to know a lot of them quite well - even met several on my last couple of trips :wave:

 

[Wilt Dasney]

Others, I'd prefer not to meet in the real world.

HMPH!

Make ONE drunken late night phone call, poison ONE kitten, and plunder ONE bank account, and they never let you live it down!

 

[CAPTAIN HOOK]

Unfortunately, these boards are visited and used by a huge cross section of people from many different countries, social backgrounds and educational levels all with one thing in common (generally) a love of all things Disney.
As such, there will always be those who cannot express themselves correctly, and those who are just not bothered whether they offend users or not.
Life is like that BUT we don't have to put up with it.
Report the contributor, monitor their replies and if necessary lets lose the offenders.
The majority of contributors on these boards are fine - well done to you all :sohappy:

 

[longfamily]

Another thing is that sometimes it is difficult to relay the intended emotion by typed words. I have come across some very crass comments in the past and when I read them again I realized that the message was not intended the way that I had originally thought.

Then again, some people are just unhappy and their attitude towards others and topics that they may not agree with (and they post on) reflects that.

Some people just like to get a rise out of you. After awhile, you figure out who those guys are and you can plan to ignore them. I can't tell you how many times I've been PM'ed by a buddy to tell me that I'm being provoked and it's usually someone that i'm not familiar with.

There are other people who are just really strongly opinionated, I think we all can be at times. However, most debate is healthy as long as it doesn't go bad.

I've seen a trouble maker start a thread before and he was flamed before the discussion even got started. I read through the thread just to understand why this guy was catching so much flack from the group and truthfully, he presented the discuussion wronge but that wasn't the reason he was flamed. He was flamed because his tone on past threads made people dislike him. And after all the dislike he accumalated, he just posted the wrong thing at the wronge time and he is gone now.

For the most part, the people here are lovely, informed, and happy to share their unique experiences. They will tell you anything you ask them and they know alot more about your Disney vacation than your travel agent:lol:. So accept the good with the ugly.

It would be nicer if we settled our differences in the PM arena instead of in public.

 

[Halfling418]

Yeah, I completely understand. When I first came, some of the comments made my jaw drop. Sometimes people who are posting non-offensive things will get rude, obnoxious responses.

It's like when you're at WDW, and another guest acts out of line.(Once, a lady pushed my mom, and another time, a man jumped in the front of a line in a store when it was my turn, and proceeded to ignore everyone.) Some people just make you wonder...
But yes, I think the majority of the people here are lovely and I've become hopelessly addicted. Just like I am to WDW.

 

[Pix E. Dust]

I just wanted to add my two cents on this subject.

I have had the opposite impression on this particular site. I have been lurking here for quite some time while I actively participated in another online Disney community (which shall remain nameless). Finally, I decided to leave that community and come here. A large part of my reasoning had to do with how much more a community feel these boards had and how respectful people were toward one another - especially with allowing people to disagree with opinions. (Another part of my reasoning had to do with the awesome resource that wdwmagic is but I'll save that for another thread.)

Lastly, I think that we are really privledged to belong to a community where we are even allowed to discuss things like this. I must say I have been very impressed with the moderators here. In the last Disney community - still remaining nameless - where I posted, we weren't allowed to even discuss things that are discussed here on the Forum Support/Feedback Board.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though one rude person comes along every now and then, overall this place is a great place to come and chat and it's very focussed on Disney. And we should count ourselves lucky for that because I've been in the middle of a place that couldn't even compare.

 

[Tim G]

One rude person doesn't make a rude board... (thank god)...

 

[ACE]

One rude person doesn't make a rude board... (thank god)...

Is that why I'm allowed to stay? :lol:

:wave: ACE

 

[wdwmagic]

Lastly, I think that we are really privledged to belong to a community where we are even allowed to discuss things like this. I must say I have been very impressed with the moderators here. In the last Disney community - still remaining nameless - where I posted, we weren't allowed to even discuss things that are discussed here on the Forum Support/Feedback Board.

Thanks for the feedback, it is interesting to hear what happens on the "outside" LOL. Hope you enjoy your time here