TEST TRACK BECOMES...
Walt Disney Imagineeringā¢ and the greater Walt Disney Companyā¢ promises fans that the upcoming Cars: Furious and Fastā¢ attraction bears no similarities to any other potential media franchise, from past, present, or future, relating to cars and other motor vehicles It should be noted that the Walt Disney Companyā¢ prides itself on its creativity and original ideas, and any claims otherwise are from people who are stupid and dumb. Ā©2021
On June 23rd, 2021, an hour and a half before a major deadline, Walt Disney Imagineering had a major breakthrough. Kids these days wanted more IPs in their theme parks. With Test Track 2.0 a major hit, now was the perfect time to change everything that made it so great and insert IP! But what IP to choose from?
The Imagineers quickly made their decision!
PRESHOW
Cars: Furious and Fast is a retheme of Test Track, using the same ride system but additional "simulators" within the now-entirely-indoor slot cars to tell an all-new and very original story. Our journey begins with a preshow meeting starring
Tom Doretto, a
1970 Black Dodge Charger (voiced by Vin Diesel).
Well well... I saw you racing back at the track. You got mad skills, but that ain't nothing compared to the streets. You think you can handle it? We're gonna find out. As part of my Supersecret-Superduper-Superspy-Force, you are now all part of my family. As family, there ain't nothing we can't stop... together. As family.
[Alarns begin to blare. An uh-oh has been made]
Oh no! The Bad Guy has escaped, we have to stop him! But don't worry, remember the power of family! And Corona Beer MyDisney Mickey Mocktailā¢!
RIDE EXPERIENCE
We drive out of the station and immediately find the Bad Guys
ā¢ attacking us with their rainbow laser guns
ā¢.
Visual depiction of "The Bad Guysā¢". No underlying motivation or description of these characters is given.
Tom Doretto suddenly arrives and kung-fus the bad guys away, joined by the rest of his gang. The gang's resident tech car,
Ludiprius (voiced by American Rapper Ludicrous), who tells us that to beat the Bad Guys
ā¢ we to learn the power of NOS
ā¢.
Ludiprius.
The NOS
ā¢ takes over our vehicle and we speed faster than ever before. The screens show the NOS
ā¢ traveling throughout our car, while Tom Doretto reminds us of the importance of knowing the street while racing.
With this advice we speed through the city alongside the rest of the gang, occasionally spinning out of control to fight a Bad Guy. While this happens a base-boasted version of āMake Those Movesā plays (with all the curses replaced by sound clips of the Mickey Mouse clubhouse's hit single,
Hot Dog).
Along the way, we encounter many fan-favorite characters from the beloved Cars
ā¢ franchise. These include Superspy Tow Mater, Flying Car Holly Shiftwell, Wingo's Street Gang, and even
Chick Hicks.
Finally the Big Bad Guy shows up and challenges Tom Doretto and us to a street race to settle our differences. We race along the city streets, dodging traffic. Tom is hit by a stupid Tesla and put out of commission, leaving just us to finish the race! Right when it looks like we've caught up, the Big Bad Guy uses their NOS
ā¢ to speed above, laughing at their victory.
Too soon! Tom says now, and we hit the DOUBLE NOS
ā¢ to speed above and win the race! The Big Bad Guy says darn.
We then go into outer space (
cut for budgetary reasons).
---
Our journey ends with a very heartfelt parting with Tom and our ride vehicles, as he informs us we are always welcome in his family. As we go, Tom lovingly recites the
Walt Disney Travel Company Terms and Conditons for Walt Disney World Ā© Resort. (Originally Imagineers wanted Tom to give grace, but this was scrapped out of fears of incorporating religion into a Walt Disney World
attraction experience).
IMPACT
To summarize, Cars: Furious and Fast
ā¢ is a groundbreaking and revolutionary new attraction reimagining Test Track
ā¢ as a totally original story based in the Cars universe. The Walt Disney Company
ā¢ is incredibly proud to have developed this original tale and expressed considerable interest in adapting the attraction into a spin-off franchise on the big screen.
"Why", Bob Chapek said upon the opening of the
attraction experience, "This is such an original story guests at EPCOT
ā¢ will get to embark on. I don't think anything like this has ever been done before. So let's all get a MyDisney Mickey Mocktail
ā¢ and celebrate this incredible accomplishment. Ka-chow!"