Communities are not monolithic. I'm sick of "you can't say X, you have to say Y." Or "you have to say X, but only if you capitalize it." Or "you can't say Z Person, you have to say Person Experiencing Z-ness." Or "I know that five years ago we bullied you into saying X but we rethought it and X is offensive now."
Intent matters. If someone says something in good faith, I'm not going to hold them to some impossible standard that they have to keep up-to-date on a glossary of terms that serves no purpose beyond keeping adjunct faculty, grad students, and tumblristas occupied Online.