Both times of year are great. In terms of warm weather you'll be in better shape in October. Either way, definetly try to get tix to either the not so scary halloween party or very merry xmas party. You'll be happy you did. The hours that the parks are open in October will also probably be a little bit longer.
As far as resorts are concerned I agree with the Port Orleans route but French Quarter instead of Riverside. FQ is smaller (no 15 minute walks to/from breakfast and buses) , much more romantic in my opinion, and generally pretty clear of children. Pop Century is the way to go if you are on a budget. If you arent on a budget and are looking to go all out, go to the Polynesian. It is my absolute fav monorail hotel. Very romantic, tropical, and unique. What can be better than sitting on the beach watching Wishes from across the water and then getting to see the Electrical Water Pagent? A tru Disney classic hotel and experience.
Get the Dining Package. You will be happy you did. With the DP you and ur man will be able to have some really great dinners at the Priority Seating restaurants...not to mention you will be served so much food you wont know what to do with yourself. :slurp:
Hope this helps.