I need a ruling / opinion on something from everyone who can read....

Tribritt

Member
My wife and I are debating the issue of putting together a photo album for my mother that has a ton of pictures of me, my wife, and our kids going to Disney over the last three years or so... My mother lives pretty far away which makes visiting a nightmare and practically nonexistent (maybe once a year). I think it's a wonderful gift to her that shows a lot of amazing pictures of all of us at a very beautiful place that she can enjoy and reflect back on as we once went together when I was 3 or so. It also gives her the chance to see the park and how it's changed over the years since the one time she went so many years ago. But most importantly... There are pictures of us who she never gets to see.

My wife insists that it's "weird" to send her an album like this as it's of our family vacation and should be more personal / private or something... I'm trying to be respectful about the subject but quite frankly I feel like she's so far out in left field that you can't see home plate. In my heart I feel it's just some underlying issue she has with her "mother-in-law."

From people whom I have no connection to, I would like your honest opinion on whether or not this is "weird" to offer this gift of pictures from our vacations to Disney. Am I wrong? Or is this a perfectly fine gesture and gift?

Thanks..

*** UPDATED FOR MORE CLARIFICATION AS IT SEEMS THE POINT HAS BEEN LOST lol ***
The issue is whether or not our pictures taken should be considered too -private- to share with my mother. I happen to think family vacation pictures aren't things other people shouldn't be allowed to own copies of...
I as a Mother would love to share in those happy memories! You can do photo books so cute now a days.
 

George

Liker of Things
Exactly. Of course they're going to ACT like they like the gift. But in the back of their minds they're probably thinking, "and WHY should I care about this vacation I didn't go on??"

If my parents went on a fabulous cruise without me (which they do ALL THE TIME), and then for Christmas handed me a gift of their personal memories and pictures of the cruise, I'd be kinda irked! Gee mom, thanks for reminding me how much fun you had without me! :p I do enjoy seeing her pics on Facebook, but I don't want them wrapped up with a bow and given to me as a present.

Does that mean I don't love my parents? Of course not. I just don't see how their vacation that I didn't go on is somehow supposed to make me feel good.

There are so many more thoughtful things that could be done.

So, you're not interested in that holographic cube featuring pictures of that conference in Japan I went to back in 2003? Cuz that's what I got you for the upcoming Peach Blossom Day.
 

StarWarsGirl

Well-Known Member
I can't read. I can't help. Sorry...

Now sarcasm aside...I fail to see how it's any different than giving school pictures to grandparents. Or posting vacation photos on Facebook. Maybe a compromise...have it be a mix of vacation and nonvacation photos.
 

mammaminnie

Well-Known Member
When we lived away from family, I would typically make a similar book for my in-laws each year. It allowed them the chance to see their grandkids throughout the year and all of the fun things that we did. The bonus to making it yourself is that you can pick and choose which photos to include and which you feel are too private.
 

flynnibus

Premium Member
My wife insists that it's "weird" to send her an album like this as it's of our family vacation and should be more personal / private or something...

Its your mother.. not some stranger. Parents have significant attachments to grandchildren as well and most enjoy seeing their happiness even if the grandparent isn't directly involved.

Unless you including photos of your intimate/romantic elements.. I think your wife is overreacting.
 
I hope all the narcissists that post trip reports aren't reading this! (That was sarcasm.) I love looking at strangers' pictures from their WDW vacations. I don't think I've ever even posted a comment on a trip report by fractal or sweetpee or hollybelle, but I'd recognize their families in an instant from all of the wonderful pictures that I've seen. I'm guessing Ron Burgundy's mother isn't computer savvy and doesn't have Facebook, etc., so she doesn't get to see pictures of her grandkids often. Of course she'll want to see any pictures of them that are given to her. But Ron, it sounds like you are making an old-fashioned photo album. I think that the suggestion that a few people have made for a Shutterfly photo book would be a lot better. If my current teenagers made me photo books of my grandkids in twenty years, I would be thrilled.
 

ToyStorygirl

Active Member
Look if my kids go away I would love looking at their holiday snaps because they would show them to me personally and tell anacedotes about the trip to make me laugh.Would I want to OWN a library of them? No because they aren't my memories.

I am being real and honest here. Photos of family together are priceless. Other peoples are nice to share but own? Freakin' weird.

As to if I think family photos are too personal to share with in-laws? No I don't think it's too personal. Just too unnecessary.
 

graphite1326

Well-Known Member
I'll be honest. I think it's weird and a tad narcissistic. Like, "Look at us and all our fun vacations that we took without you that you had nothing to do with!" I'd be totally put off if a relative sent me a bunch of pics of their vacations as a gift. If she only went to Disney once when you were 3, I highly doubt she cares how the park has changed over the years.

A more meaningful gift would be more along the lines of an album of memories that you SHARED with your mom. I don't see how a bunch of pictures of your personal vacations have anything to do with her.
I was thinking the same thing
 

Weather_Lady

Well-Known Member
There's nothing weird about sending a loved one pictures of your family.

I do agree with those who've said that if there's anything weird about your idea, it's limiting the pics to WDW vacations and/or to your nuclear family. Why not send a "family yearbook" instead?

My husband's parents live far away, out of state, and we send them a copy of our family photo book (done on Shutterfly) every year. It includes pictures of the holidays we've celebrated and things we've done (including the things we did when DH's parents were here here to visit), and gives them a window into our lives that I know they appreciate. My mother-in-law says she looks eagerly forward to the arrival of that book every year, and that they sit down and pore over it frequently afterwards.
 

Obi

Well-Known Member
I guess it all depends on whether people consider a grandparent as family, and would enjoy a photo album/book of pictures taken from vacations they didn't get to go on, or not.

some people wouldn't, some people would. We did and both my sister and grandma loved receiving them because it had pictures of their granddaughters in them. Would they have loved to have been there? Sure, but that is not the point.

the point is that they love their granddaughters. They love to see the smiles on their faces. Being able to see pictures of them happy brings them joy. That is the point.

if your mom would love a photobook and it would bring her joy then what is so wrong with that? It's not like you would be giving her x-rated pictures.

perhaps you can have a talk with the wife to find out why it bothers her so much. Something tells me there is more to it. Hopefully, you can reach a compromise. Maybe she can take part in deciding what pictures to put in that the two of you can agree on.
 

ShookieJones

We need time for things to happen.
There is nothing weird or strange or out of place about sending your mom pictures of her son and his family (HER grand kids and even her daughter in law ;)), No matter where said pictures took place.

We have a whole forum here where we share our vacation photos with "strangers"
In that scenario we enjoy seeing the people behind the avatar and OF COURSE the shared interest of WDW

In the scenario of your mom viewing your vacation pictures she's going to enjoy seeing the smiling faces of her grand kids, son and yes even her daughter in law.

That's my opinion for what it's worth (not much I'm guessing...).
 

Laura

22
Ok, if your husband takes photos of the kids from somewhere you weren't there... do you find joy in seeing your kids being happy? Or do you focus on why you aren't there too?

My kids are kids right now so I'm into everything they do. If they are 40 years old and sending me albums of JUST their Disney vacations, I'd think that was weird.

There's nothing wrong with sharing a bunch of various pictures of people. That's nice. It's when it's strictly a collaboration of Disney vacation pictures that it crosses into weirdo territory.

I am making some assumptions though. I'm assuming that the Disney vacation pictures include pictures of the castle, pictures of parades, and stuff like that. Those are the type of pictures I think are wacko to send to someone as a gift. If the pictures are ALL pictures of the people, then fine.
 
Look if my kids go away I would love looking at their holiday snaps because they would show them to me personally and tell anacedotes about the trip to make me laugh.Would I want to OWN a library of them? No because they aren't my memories.

I am being real and honest here. Photos of family together are priceless. Other peoples are nice to share but own? Freakin' weird.

As to if I think family photos are too personal to share with in-laws? No I don't think it's too personal. Just too unnecessary.

But in Ron's situation, the only way he can share his photos with his mother are by sending them to her or sharing them with her on his once a year visit.

I would think it would be very difficult for grandparents and grandkids to feel "connected" only seeing each other once a year. If Grandma had pictures from the grandkids' vacation, it is a great conversation starter on the phone. Not just, "Did you have fun at WDW?" but "That waterslide looked like so much fun!" I truly think that most grandparents would be grateful to receive anything to help them have a deeper relationship with their grandkids. If the grandma is offended by this gift, I'd think that she is a little self-centered.

I find topics like this so interesting when I realize how divergent people's opinions can be.
 

Obi

Well-Known Member
My kids are kids right now so I'm into everything they do. If they are 40 years old and sending me albums of JUST their Disney vacations, I'd think that was weird.

There's nothing wrong with sharing a bunch of various pictures of people. That's nice. It's when it's strictly a collaboration of Disney vacation pictures that it crosses into weirdo territory.

I am making some assumptions though. I'm assuming that the Disney vacation pictures include pictures of the castle, pictures of parades, and stuff like that. Those are the type of pictures I think are wacko to send to someone as a gift. If the pictures are ALL pictures of the people, then fine.

well, i've always believed that if you have kids, they will always be your kids/babies no matter how old they are. i'm 43 but i'll always be one of my folks' kids. they treat me as an adult, but still love to have things, hear things, see things that will bring them joy about their kids and grandkids... for instance, my brother, and his wife, put together a bunch of the alphabet blocks to spell out the names of all of my parents' grandkids. they glued them together and arranged them to interlock with each other. they then had some extra blocks set aside, that weren't together yet. this was a christmas present to them to say there was another grandkid on the way. part of the fun was trying to figure out the name of the baby that was coming. once they figured it out they added the name to the rest of the blocks and then hung it up on the wall in between pictures of the grandkids. my folks LOVED it...

many of my folks' friends that have stopped by for visits, over the years, saw the block display on the wall and thought it was a clever/neat idea. so much so that several of them have done the same and sent pics of them to my folks to share how much they loved it too...

having a photobook/album of your grandkids, even if it is just pics of them at disneyworld, does not seem weird to me... if she would love it then why not? sounds like it would bring her some joy, and quite frankly, this world needs a lot more joy in it...
 

thomas998

Well-Known Member
My wife and I are debating the issue of putting together a photo album for my mother that has a ton of pictures of me, my wife, and our kids going to Disney over the last three years or so... My mother lives pretty far away which makes visiting a nightmare and practically nonexistent (maybe once a year). I think it's a wonderful gift to her that shows a lot of amazing pictures of all of us at a very beautiful place that she can enjoy and reflect back on as we once went together when I was 3 or so. It also gives her the chance to see the park and how it's changed over the years since the one time she went so many years ago. But most importantly... There are pictures of us who she never gets to see.

My wife insists that it's "weird" to send her an album like this as it's of our family vacation and should be more personal / private or something... I'm trying to be respectful about the subject but quite frankly I feel like she's so far out in left field that you can't see home plate. In my heart I feel it's just some underlying issue she has with her "mother-in-law."

From people whom I have no connection to, I would like your honest opinion on whether or not this is "weird" to offer this gift of pictures from our vacations to Disney. Am I wrong? Or is this a perfectly fine gesture and gift?

Thanks..

*** UPDATED FOR MORE CLARIFICATION AS IT SEEMS THE POINT HAS BEEN LOST lol ***
The issue is whether or not our pictures taken should be considered too -private- to share with my mother. I happen to think family vacation pictures aren't things other people shouldn't be allowed to own copies of...

The only thing I see as weird is someone thinking that vacation photos are "private"... Does your wife not realize that there were thousands upon thousands of people around you during your vacation? Does she not realize that your all more likely than not captured in the background of someone else's photos? You are all probably shown in places you have never imagined viewed by people that you will never see again... Not sure why she would think it was weird... Now it is possible your mom wont give a hoot about seeing the photos... and possible she will look at them on a regular basis... only you know what she is likely to do with your book, cherish it or use it as a door stop.
 

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