I just learned something disturbing

[Debbie]

I know people want their kids to have everything, but kids don't need everything to be happy. I'd say in a lot of cases it's just the opposite.

Well said Mommy to Be!

I have a step-son who fit this category and guess what he got from us last year? a big GOOSE-EGG! and guess what he'll get this year? the same. Don and I both agree that we are not about to buy his love. Heck, he doesn't even know what love is because his maternal side reared him to associate quantity/material things with love. In their eyes, we've never loved him because we never bought him. Well, I have a receipt for $40000 that was paid to care for him since I've been with Don. My stepson also has gotten a DVD or CD every payday from maternal grandma, and other trinkets as well. Needless to say, from our perspective, Christmas happens weekly for him. Nothing we've ever gotten him could measure up to Granny's stuff. So.....................................................................
we gave ourselves permission to take a stand and say "NO MORE". "You don't feel you owe us a phone call to say "hi dad'" ; Deb and Dad don't give handouts to non-deserving family members. He's about to be 18, lost cause.
I hope you little cousin doesn't turn out like this and I'd do what Erika suggested. I think that is wonderful!

 

[intenseblue98]

I just found out that our traditional Christmas Day dinner at MIL's will not be. I guess we're still going so DD can get gifts from her grandparents, but the other family will not be attending. One less gift for me to buy!

 

[Erika]

I just found out that our traditional Christmas Day dinner at MIL's will not be. I guess we're still going so DD can get gifts from her grandparents, but the other family will not be attending. One less gift for me to buy!

YAY!!

And, good for you, Debbie! One day I hope he will come to his senses. That must be really hard on Don.

 

[Debbie]

YAY!!

And, good for you, Debbie! One day I hope he will come to his senses. That must be really hard on Don.

It has really been hard on all of us. Ryan's only saving grace is that he still shows affection to Lil' Don when Lil' Don is by MIL's (they live on the same street). He still tells Lil' Don he misses him and still shoots b-ball with him. I was the stepmom who always planned vacations to include him, our once a month eat outs always included him, and I would have never dreamt to have a family photo done without him. He has been so bought with all of these material things that the ONLY way I see him coming to his senses is if the same thing would happen to him that happened to Don: for him to take responsibility for a child, for the mother to screw around on him and then for her to take the child and treat it like a piece of personal property. (remember his mother only had the two children from which marriages resulted; the other 8, she happened to have 'miscarriages' when the relationship wouldn't lead to marriage). Ryan's support pays the house note; her other son's support pays the car note (she gets a new one every 18 months and is on food stamps to boot). I say she should have kept one of the other pregnancies to cover utilities.
I'm taking the $100.00 we usually spend on him and I'm buying this lady (Deb) some towels, pots, etc. She works at one of the complexes I service. She lost everything in Katrina. The water was 10 feet high where she lived and the townhouse next to her had 4 on the bottom of the X (the bottom number means number dead). Her daughter was also murdered 4 years ago and she doesn't do holidays yet. But she is a wonderful person who deserves a secret Kris Kringle!

 

[DisneyFreak529]

Who crawled up their chiminey and died?! How rude and ungrateful?!

ha ha I love it what a comment! :lol:




I'm sorry that they didn't like what you got them. I also thinks it's rude for them to tell your DH that they didn't like it. That is sooo rude! You should get them nothing. Just send a card. That will teach them!