I know this is probably not the best website to post this, but this site has been tremendously helpful.
I was raised by a very narcissistic (probably borderline personality disordered) mother. We dealt with my dad, her husband dying in February. In my mind and heart, I was hoping that this would wake her up out of the terrible narcissistic state. Unfortunately, I was very wrong.
After my dad passed, my family pretty much split and stopped calling one another. Before my dad passed, I was adamant about keeping in touch because my family was always very important to me. However, after he passed, it didn't take long for me to realize that I was the one making all of the phone calls.
So, yesterday, I called my mom since I haven't seen or heard from her since Thanksgiving. I asked her how she was and approached normal mundane topics to gently get to the point and ask her why hadn't she called me.
Her response: "I am scared to call you."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Oh, because it's late at night and I don't want to scare you."
Me: "Why would you calling me scare me? I am your daughter."
Her: (Same response repeated about not wanting to scare me)
A little backstory, she is terrified of driving, she normally gets her sister to drive her anywhere she wants to go. Has major anxiety and takes waaaay too many meds and refuses to go see a therapist. But now she is 'terrified' of calling.
Guys, I know there is no true logic in a narcissist and I am trying to get my brain to shut off.
But, how would you react to this? Honestly, after the holidays, I might make an effort to stop trying so hard to keep the family connected. I am the youngest and I don't think that kind of responsibility should be on me.
I was raised by a very narcissistic (probably borderline personality disordered) mother. We dealt with my dad, her husband dying in February. In my mind and heart, I was hoping that this would wake her up out of the terrible narcissistic state. Unfortunately, I was very wrong.
After my dad passed, my family pretty much split and stopped calling one another. Before my dad passed, I was adamant about keeping in touch because my family was always very important to me. However, after he passed, it didn't take long for me to realize that I was the one making all of the phone calls.
So, yesterday, I called my mom since I haven't seen or heard from her since Thanksgiving. I asked her how she was and approached normal mundane topics to gently get to the point and ask her why hadn't she called me.
Her response: "I am scared to call you."
Me: "Why?"
Her: "Oh, because it's late at night and I don't want to scare you."
Me: "Why would you calling me scare me? I am your daughter."
Her: (Same response repeated about not wanting to scare me)
A little backstory, she is terrified of driving, she normally gets her sister to drive her anywhere she wants to go. Has major anxiety and takes waaaay too many meds and refuses to go see a therapist. But now she is 'terrified' of calling.
Guys, I know there is no true logic in a narcissist and I am trying to get my brain to shut off.
But, how would you react to this? Honestly, after the holidays, I might make an effort to stop trying so hard to keep the family connected. I am the youngest and I don't think that kind of responsibility should be on me.