Going to Disney while mourning a loved one

Epcot-Rules

Epcot-Rules

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry to hear about your wife. We lost my wife's father while at Disney World in 2008. We cut our trip 2 days short to try and rush home before he passed but didn't make it. Why don't you make the trip and celebrate her life instead of her death? What would she want you to do?
 
Chezman1399

Chezman1399

Active Member
Original Poster
I think she'd want me to go, she would want me to try to have fun. She was always battling illness and always encouraged me no matter how she was feeling. I will absolutely be celebrating her, I'm trying to do that in everything I do. Celebrate her and make her proud because she was my rock. So I think she'd definitely want me to go, she might even think I need to go.
 
H

Hockey89

Well-Known Member
Chezman1399 said:
I think she'd want me to go, she would want me to try to have fun. She was always battling illness and always encouraged me no matter how she was feeling. I will absolutely be celebrating her, I'm trying to do that in everything I do. Celebrate her and make her proud because she was my rock. So I think she'd definitely want me to go, she might even think I need to go.
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She would want you to be happy, so do what you heart tells you.... She would want you to live your life to the fullest... It's what I would want if I left my wife suddenly...
 
NonnaT

NonnaT

Well-Known Member
Chezman1399 said:
My wife and I had a 10 night trip planned for food and wine festival this year; however, she passed away recently, very unexpectedly. We got married in WDW and vacationed down there for her birthday almost every year since we have been together. I had another post planning our trip in the trip planning forum talking about all the things we love to do for Food and Wine and looking for suggestions. So we were both really looking forward to the trip. Now I'm really not sure I can go on the trip without her or what I'm going to be able to do on it.

I have been encouraged to go by others who have lost loved ones and by counselors I've talked to since Disney is such a special place not only for us, but for me as well. Has anyone been in this situation(I'm sure someone has)? What did you do? How did you handle the pain?

There are certain things I'm not going to be able to do, at least for a while, Via Napoli (It had become our go to restaurant), 7 Dwarves (It was the first coaster I ever got her to go on), Spend the entire week at food and wine going to different exhibitions and events like we had planned, along with a host of other restaurants and places I'm not sure I can spend much time in. I guess I'm just trying to find out other peoples experiences with this because I'm scared of how I'm going to feel.
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I have absolutely no advice, just a heartfelt so sorry for your loss! GBY
 
JIMINYCR

JIMINYCR

Well-Known Member
Prayers for you, your wife and all your family members. :cry::cry::cry:
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My DW has dealt with chronic illness throughout most of the 32 yrs of our marriage and I've been in the role as her caregiver and husband. Several times we booked trips wondered if she might take a turn for the worse and I'd have to alter plans. We've even had "those difficult" kinds of discussions. So I've thought the thoughts what would I do if..... And weve talked about it....
My DW has said she would want me to go. And take along the happy loving memories we had from past trips as a family. And she would be with me in spirit as I walked the Disney walkways and rode the Disney rides. And many places we were happy together would bring back images of us and help me get through the dark days.
So Yes, Go my friend.... and even when the tears come, stop and know she's beside you... and waiting for you... one day youll be walking Disney together, side by side again.;)
 
fireworksandfairytales

fireworksandfairytales

Well-Known Member
In the Parks
No
That's so sad. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I do have some personal experience in this area, actually. My boyfriend and I had an eight day trip to Disney planned for spring break of 2013. My mom ended up passing away (also very unexpectedly) a few days before our trip. I talked to my family and they agreed with me that she would want me to go and try to have fun and be happy rather than sit around at home and be miserable. I have to say it was the best thing for me. It was hard and there were moments when I completely broke down and lost it (particularly during Celebrate the Magic on our first night when the thought hit me that my mom and walt may or may not have been conversing about me in Heaven), but I think it helped me heal. However, my mom wasn't obsessed with Disney. I actually only ever went to the parks with her one time when I was really young. I don't/didn't have very many Disney memories involving her, so it wasn't like I was hit with nostalgia around every corner the way that you probably will be if you go. You shouldn't rush into going back if you think it's going to be too hard on you. You've been through enough, so there's no need to put yourself through something that would be way too hard to deal with. I hope you make a decision that helps you through this tough time.
 
ItlngrlBella

ItlngrlBella

Well-Known Member
I just saw your post and there are no words - deepest condolences.

My friend lost her husband last summer unexpectedley as well - and they have 2 twin boys who were going into 1st grade. Their dream was to take the twins to WDW. At first the thought was unbearable.

She took them with her mother in law and she said though at times she was sad - the joy of being there with her kids and knowing her husband was with them in spirit and being there as he would have wanted, was essential in her grieving and healing process.

Keeping you in my prayers for strength and healing.
 
sxeensweet

sxeensweet

Love a little Disney every day!! ;)
So sorry for your loss. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. I can't imagine what you are going through and I would have a hard time going as well if my husband suddenly passed away before our next trip this Oct. We have been quite a few times now since we have gotten married 8 years ago even though we don't have children. We even joined DVC in 2013 because it became such a special place for us.
As others noted do what feels right for you and only you, and not what someone advises you to do. Your wife will be with you in spirit wherever and whenever you go anywhere especially at WDW your special place. I think she would understand whatever you choose to do about the upcoming trip. :(:cry::angelic::inlove:
 
DisneyJunkie

DisneyJunkie

Well-Known Member
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm married myself and my wife and I honeymooned in WDW and have made frequent trips there ourselves. I think about a lot of things, and sometimes I consider what I would do in that kind of a situation. If my wife passed away, would I ever be able to go back to WDW again ever and if I did, how could I enjoy myself there with so many memories? I know it's a strange thing to think about particularly because I'm not in that situation, but I can't help wondering. I guess it's all a matter of time and healing for each person because we're all different in that way. If it's too soon, then I would think that I wouldn't be able to truly enjoy myself there. But if some time passed and I felt that I could handle it, using the time there to fondly think about past trips and enjoy the good memories instead of being swallowed up in grief........then I think I would do it. But the key is to know yourself and when you are ready, as opposed to well-meaning friends and family trying to push you into anything too quickly.
 
Phineas

Phineas

Well-Known Member
I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like, My very deepest condolences to you. Like others have said, I think it's quite brave of you to even consider going on with your plans. If it were me, I'd attempt to still go, but maybe bring along a token or trinket that reminds you of her. Not even remotely the same thing, I know, but I remember when dealing with a long distance relationship with my girlfriend (college), I wore her class ring around my neck so it was like she was still there in a way. It was actually fairly therapeutic, especially when I'd be out and see happy couples that got to spend time in each other's company.

I'd be cautious about sticking precisely to the plans you made-you never know what small, seemingly mundane thing will set you off, so to speak. And I'm positive the cast members will be nothing but accommodating to you, should you need to be escorted someplace quiet, etc. And believe me, no one would blame you for not going.

Regardless, just know you do have support here (as I'm sure you can see here), and remember that you have personal memories of the World, as well as shared memories. When you're truly ready, I have no doubt you'll be walking right down the middle of Main Street, USA again.
 
righttrack

righttrack

Well-Known Member
So sorry for your loss. I can tell you are a very strong individual and that will help see you through. I can't say I have any specific advice, just that if something bothers you too much there is always something else nearby.
 
Chef Mickey

Chef Mickey

Well-Known Member
What an incredibly sad story. My deepest condolences to you and your family. There are no words that will help, but I am truly sorry for your loss. That is just absolutely not fair.

I usually don't get involved with giving advice on peoples' personal lives, but your story reminds me how fragile life can be.

My advice would be to go and have a great time, but I don't think you can go alone. You mentioned maybe being able to go with a cousin and/or a friend? If they understand this is a sensitive trip and would be willing to help you through it, I say go for it. I would advise talking about her as much as you can and remember your lives together. Although your time together was short, you probably have some great memories there and it will remind you of her.

I'm sure it won't be easy, but burying the pain is not healthy as your counselors have reinforced. I think it will be a hard trip emotionally, but will also be satisfying in helping you heal if you keep her on your mind.
 
draybook

draybook

Well-Known Member
Chezman1399 said:
My wife and I had a 10 night trip planned for food and wine festival this year; however, she passed away recently, very unexpectedly. We got married in WDW and vacationed down there for her birthday almost every year since we have been together. I had another post planning our trip in the trip planning forum talking about all the things we love to do for Food and Wine and looking for suggestions. So we were both really looking forward to the trip. Now I'm really not sure I can go on the trip without her or what I'm going to be able to do on it.

I have been encouraged to go by others who have lost loved ones and by counselors I've talked to since Disney is such a special place not only for us, but for me as well. Has anyone been in this situation(I'm sure someone has)? What did you do? How did you handle the pain?

There are certain things I'm not going to be able to do, at least for a while, Via Napoli (It had become our go to restaurant), 7 Dwarves (It was the first coaster I ever got her to go on), Spend the entire week at food and wine going to different exhibitions and events like we had planned, along with a host of other restaurants and places I'm not sure I can spend much time in. I guess I'm just trying to find out other peoples experiences with this because I'm scared of how I'm going to feel.
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I'm not even going to touch on the trip part. I just want to send you my condolences. I can't even imagine life without my wife. I hope you're able to find peace, whether it includes Disney or not.
 
KIsAPrincess

KIsAPrincess

Active Member
@Chezman1399
My deepest condolences to you. I think that you will find that while some parts of your trip will bring you incredible sadness, there will be many where you will find comfort and moments of peace.

My brother and I often traveled to the world together, especially after I first got my driver's license. After his passing, it was suddenly very strange to go without him. Now that I am married with children, they know the very first ride of our trip is Jungle Cruise. That was my brother's favorite (and I thought I would never go on it again). He used to go back and forth with the boat captain. Sometimes, I swear I can still hear him making jokes. When we were there this year in January (right around his birthday) my mom was with us and we went on the ride..... the guy who helped us off of the boat when we returned to the dock HAD HIS NAME! If that wasn't a sign that my brother was there with us, I don't know what it could be. Even now, 15 years later - certain things make me tear up, but others make me feel so comforted and peaceful.

I even find myself in line to buy something thinking "I can't wait to give this to him". That realization is very painful, but I think it somewhat comforts me by knowing that he is still there - even in my subconscious.

I guess, I can't really tell you how to feel or what to expect, but that everything you go through is going to be your new normal and that is ok. Moving on after a loss is unimaginable - but the reality is, that life goes on. And I don't mean that to sound harsh. I think that if Disney is your place that makes you happy, brings you comfort and has amazing memories of your wife - - - then go. Be open to new experiences, look and observe - there are signs everywhere that our loved ones are still with us. And it is ok to experience joy and happiness on this trip.

Not sure if your trip coincides with the Wine and Dine Half, but I and my other half would totally toast a drink to your wife and my brother if your schedule allows.

My thoughts are with you.
 

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