Funny things CM's say during spiels...

[General Grizz]

Stepping off the tram at Epcot:

"Have a nice trip, see you next fall."

 

[General Grizz]

Dreamfinder: Figment and I certainly enjoyed our Journey into Imagination. Now, we can use our sparks of imagination in the Image Works, the creative playground of the future! Please step off your car carefully; the car and the ramp are moving at 5,000 MILES AN HOUR! GOOD LUCK!

 

[SIR90210]

"We have a saying in France that goes something like this. (says something in French) Roughly translated in English, it means: All good things must come to an end. So gather up all your personal belongings, exit through the doors to your left, and enjoy the rest of your evening here at EPCOT."

That would probably be something along the lines of: "Tout les bonnes choses doient venir au un fin."
On HISTA a year or two ago, the CM in the thewater said something like "After properly securing all items underneath your seat, please fasten your seatbelt for the 37-foot vertical drop." The best part was a random teenage girl then screaming "GET ME OUTTA HERE!" :lol:

 

[General Grizz]

Reading these past pages is hilarious!

At Honey I Shrunk the Audience: "Now please fasten your safety belts for the 1,000 foot flume drop! . . .(Guests search frantically for safety belts). . Gotcha!"

 

[HorizonsMan]

I was the one who did the Getter to God thing, well at least one of em.

At innoventions one of my jobs is telling people about plastics and i get to tell them about getting a free robot so i say:

Ladies and gentle man you have two choices now, you can go into our Fantastic Plastic Challenge where youll be able to design a virtual robot and then race it against each other, afterward youll be able to go into our manafacturing area where youll be able to create a robot like this one and take it home for teh low price of absolutely free, thats right folks i said the f word at disney, FREE , so take advantage of this while you can.

Also during my polyester speech i have to talk about car parts so i say:

If thats not amazing enough (talking about polyester bottles), wow i feel like one of those infomercial people, It slices, it dices, it makes automotive parts, wow like this one.

 

[Master Yoda]

Here's some of what I say...

"I'd like to welcome you aboard your (first/last) thrill ride of the (park). For your safety, Disney always recommends that you board someone else's bus. But you got on mine. With that in mind, please listen carefully to the following important safety information. (muffled like a NYC Subway announcer) I sure hope you paid close attention, as that information was very important. However, in case you missed it, I will repeat myself. We are a high speed turbulent thrill ride subject to sharp turns and sudden stops, because there are lots of crazy tourists out there that have no clue what they're doing. As such, if you are standing, hold on for dear life. Now, those of you seated, you think you have it good because you got a seat, right... yeah, think again. You're going to be the ones they fall on!"

"Folks... I'd like to apologise for the bumps in the road that you may be feeling... however, I'd like to let you know that it's not my fault. And it's not the bus's fault either. Nope... It's the Asphault."

"Alright folks, at this time, I'd like for you to gather up all your personal belongings. This includes small children, please. All small children left behind become property of the Walt Disney Co., get will be shipped over to its a small world, feet strapped down, and forced to sing that song in 7 different languages. "

"Well folks, once again, my name is Tyler, and I sure hope you enjoyed your ride with us here tonight. However, if you didn't enjoy your ride or my jokes, my name is Bob, and this has been the Walt Disney World Monorail System. "

"You folks have been an absolutly outstanding group, however, now its time for you to be outstanding on the ground. "

DUDE!!!!! I have ridden on your bus before. You are the best!

 

[Master Yoda]

My fave is from the monorail "watch your headnstep" What is a headnstep anyway? :animwink:

 

[yellowrocket]

Adding to the lines about it's a small world...

SKIPPER: Alright folks, at this time, I'd like for you to gather up all your personal belongings and small children, please. All small children left behind become property of the Walt Disney Co., get will be shipped over to its a small world.

LADY GUEST: HAHAHAHA

SKIPPER: Please don't laugh, ma'am. My parents left me here when I was 6. I've just now graduated to the Jungle Cruise.

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and from the same female skipper ....

SKIPPER: Good afternoon and welcome to the Jungle Cruise, my name is Debbie.

(I can't remember her name, but whatever it was, it wasn't what was on her name tag. I think it read something like 'Ashley', so I lean over to tell my friend that her name tag is different than her name... she immediatly calls me out...)

SKIPPER: YES! I know my tag says that my name is 'Ashley', but it's not. I left my tag at home and had to borrow this one. Cut me a little slack.

(and after the cruise was over...)

SKIPPER: Thank you for riding the Jungle Cruise. If you enjoyed your trip, my name is Debbie. If you didn't enjoy it, my name is Ashley and I work at the Haunted Mansion.

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One more... I was on the Kilamenjaro Safari's and had a really funny (and informative driver)

DRIVER: Ladies and Gentlemen, as you board please look down at the safety sign in front of you. As you can see, this ride strictly prohibits disco dancing.

(have a look at all the signs posted on the ride vehicles. you'll get it then. too funny. my mom always repeats that joke).

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[cherrynegra]

Well, the funniest "spiel" I've ever heard was at Honey I Shrunk the Audience. It was as the audience was exiting, the CM was giving the exit speech, and as my friend and I were making our way out, we saw the CM step down from the podium, walk over to another CM who started talking to her. The CM then ran back up to the podium, grabbed the mike, and yelled "KODAK!!" My friend and I looked at each other and started laughing. I think the CM must have forgotten to mention the sponsor and was told about it. So during our trip we'd just yell out "KODAK!!" at the oddest time.

 

[Siege898]

ssomeone on the jungle cruise said this one as we passed,

"and to your right you will see...", she said
we replied, "rocks", and she said
"thats sandstone dont take it for granite"!

 

[Emzy]

LMAO!
It has to be on the MGM parking lot tram on the way out, the guy was singing "heigh ho, heigh ho, to the parking lot we go..."

Then as we were approaching the Minnie lot, he said something like "the tram will come to a complete stop when it stops."

Cracked ME up.

 

[Dean[AU]]

I'm sure the CM at Dumbo said something incredably funny when I started my own lil dumbo ride before the actual ride started (bobbing). Pity it was in french.

 

[Jajo]

A CM at the MK turnstyle told me friend to be more careful in the bathroom, because she had a little poo on her shirt. She was wearing a Pooh shirt.

 

[Atta83]

I still like the one when the Skipper said something when you go through the tunnel and he said something about a root canal...i was laughing so hard.

 

[Disney_CP_2004]

I am going to blame the most funniest thing i ever said while i was working on the lack of sleep, the heat and my crazy trainer....

I worked @ the FriendShip boats, and well one day me and my trainer (he wasnt training me, but that's how i refer to Sam), were out on a rotation...and well i was giving the spiel on the way from IG @ Epcot to MGM....and we were under the hollywood bridge by MGM and i did my lovely spiel about fantasmic and stuff, and then i had to do the safety spiel yet again....and i told everyone to; "Remain seated as we make out final DECENT into the MGM dock!" After i said that i put the mic down and i just sat there and HOPED and prayed no one was really listening as i told them their BOAT would be making a FINAL DECENT into the MGM dock....my trainer nor my co-cast members still to this day will not let me live it down............................I have said some crazy studd during spiels, but that tops them all...and i could go on for hours about what some of my co-cast members have said too....But i will spare their reps!

I think every cast member makes some funny pun about It's s small world...we normally on the last boat of the evening before we go into the marina make the final gather all your beloning spiels....BUT when with the it's small world we do the whole...Gathering your belonings does mean your children as well, if not they will be taken over to the magic kingdom where their little feet will be bolted down where they will be forced to sing in 7 different languages, and whenever you would like to see your child you will have to pay 55$'s.....55$'s a day or gathering all your belongings...you decide!!

 

[njblackberry]

In October I was at MGM for one of the after hours corporate events (which was a blast). No one under 18 (or 21 - I don't remember) since they were serving alcohol for free.


We were on the Great Movie Ride (no line - ran through the ropes); at the end of the ride, the CM was doing the "please take children by the hand" spiel, looked at the group of middle aged IT geeks, and said "WHAT EVER" - we thought it was really funny.

 

[mkepcotmgmak]

when i worked in the Tiki Room, i did my whole spiel, and reminded everyone to put on there 3D glasses right before I would wake up Jose. Most people laughed, some did not, and a lot were whispering... "I Didn't get 3D GLASSES!"

 

[bubbles]

Mine is from the Jungle Cruise also:

Her nickname was CupCake. She was hilarious.

She added this by the elephants:

" Oh Look its a Giant African Elephant!!!!"

(* Pause *)

"And for those who suffer of short term memory "

" Oh Look its a Giant African Elephant!!!!"

She said it like she was all exicted about seeing an elephant thats what made us laugh. Then paused and said the middle line normally then repeated the 1st. Because you see 2 elephants on the jungle cruise.

:lol: :lol:

When i went on JC the girl i had let me "drive" the boat, and when we got off she said, "well its about time for me to do this tour thing again, and again, and again, and again."

Another time was on Halloween, my mom and i went on HM and the CM there keep on staring at me in a very scary way. When we went in the room with no doors or windows she stood 1 ft away from me and keep staring at me. and got closer when the lights went off so that when they tured on she would be right there in my face. I jumped and screamed. Ahh, good times. :lookaroun

On ToT just as the doors shut before the ride begins the cast member was trying to tell us something important but the doors closed on him. :lol:

so many stories...