Funny things CM's say during spiels...

[jenjie]

This wasn't overly funny but the tone of voice made it hilarious - to me anyway. One CM on the tram giving instructions, says "no food or drink please - if you eat something you must share it with US!" I guess you had to be there but he had a great attitude.

 

[justinsul1]

at WWTBAM the host said that any1 that shouts out answers during the show will be forced to read It's a small world after all for nine consecutive hours!

 

[bamboo7]

i've got a few fun comments for most common guest questions/situations.

the funniest thing i've ever heard of, though, was not something i said......
It happened in EPCOT, and test track was closed due to rain. A guest came up to a TT greeter, anxious to ride tt, and asked him 'how long will it be raining?'
the greeter grabs his radio and says into it 'test track greeter to God.........Test track greeter to God'.
then he turns to the guest and says 'i'm sorry, he's not answering his radio'.

the guest didn't appreciate it.

 

[bamboo7]

Originally posted by sillyspook13
Last night at Impressions de France......

"Just a few quick reminders before you enter the theatre. No eating. No drinking. No smoking. No flash photography. No video taping. No cell phones. No sleeping. No snoring. And NO KISSING! But, since this IS France, FRENCH kissing IS allowed."

Same cast member, after the show.........

"We have a saying in France that goes something like this. (says something in French) Roughly translated in English, it means: All good things must come to an end. So gather up all your personal belongings, exit through the doors to your left, and enjoy the rest of your evening here at EPCOT."

i had the very same thing said to me there on saturday.

 

[jrashadb]

Once I was on the Jungle Cruise and there was a woman about my age doing it... she was so funny and interesting, I totally fell for her... I even laughed at the corny lines they have to say. (back of a waterfall)
Anyway, she said a lot of cool unscripted things on the cruise, but my favorite thing she said was this:

As we were pulling up to the dock to unload, she said something like, "I hope you have a great day and the wonderful, magical, beautiful place I like to call ... work."

Funny!

 

[PrncssCinderEly]

Two of my funny lines comes from the Great Movie Ride at MGM...

It was my first time on the ride...and we got to the part for alian...and I thought that I knew where the Alian was gonna pop out of...well I was wrong..and I was in the front row...well the girl that was there with the mic (i believe it was the cowgirl at that moment) was like "jumpy little critter aren't ya"...and then when we get to Indian Jones..she is like "now are ya afraid of snakes? Just makin sure ya don't end up up over here with me."

The next one was a few years later...my sis and I had rode it about several times that day...trying to get to the front row again like in the past...well the cowboy is now driving...and when he starts teasing me...and when we get to indiana jones (yet again) he orders me "now don't go anywhere...your my date tonight"
**well I thought it was cute..and he was adorable too***oh well...never did get that date.

 

[wild01ride]

Jungle Cruise has got to be the best source of lines in all of WDW:

I too have heard the:
"As we exit the tunnel I will bring you back to civilization, the dock and since this is the MK, most likely a gift shop"

An intro spiel I've also heard is:
"Welcome aboard. My name is [ __ ] and I will be your boat driver, tour guide and swimming instructor."

Probably the best one to get the grandparents (sorry, ha, ha) is on the Backstage Studio tour before leaving the station, the guide said:
"Just to warn you ahead of time, those of you on the right side of the vehicle may get wet" [allows time for people to switch seats] "AND, those of you on the left side of the vehicle will be getting soaked!"

 

[One Lil Spark]

I had NO idea that you were that funny Tyler! :lol:

I cracked up reading all this. Keep 'em coming.

 

[jaimjaim25]

I really need to go on the Jungle Cruise when i go in May! Last time I was on it was probably 1995, since I thought it was boring.. but hearing all these funny things, I really have to get on there!

 

[rosie.ca]

on the safari at animal kingdom and if you look to your right you will see the wild strolers of africa *ithink that was the ride he said it on* and on kali river rapids after my 5th time in a row going on *as there was no line up * the guy said "you again? look there is a small corner of your shirt not soaked you better go again..." and anything dwayne the busdriver said he was super funny

 

[DCL]

I remember we were on Monorail Red heading back from Epcot to the TTC and the conductor would turn on the intercom and just talk about things, like he didn't know he turned it on...

... and then we were coming into the TTC and he came on the intercom and said "Hmm.... I can't find the brakes!"

I know I don't make it sound funny... but everyone on the monorail could not stop laughing

 

[ToTallToSlow112]

Once on the way back from an E-ride night, an early or late arival depending on your view, came speeding up on our left in a sports car. the bus driver-"on our left this guy is trying to kill us" He also changed the bus sign to dixie landing which made me laugh. (time machine Dolorean move over here comes the Disney Bus Service)

 

[Mickeyman819]

I dont remember any of the funny sayings. but ive got to say that most of them have came from jungle cruise. i go on that just to here the jokes.

 

[Nintendo18]

On my last vacation in Feb. After getting on the tram at MGM to go to the front gate, we went around the bend at the end of the parking lot and our tram speaker said "Now here comes the first ride of your day at the Disney Studios, the Parking lot u turn. Everybody put up your hands and give a shout. You can't resist not doing it, its free anyway." This was so funny.

 

[BigNorm]

I had a JC skipper who talked about and showed pictures of his dog. It was pretty amusing. And of course there's the totally unoriginal "backside of water" line that makes me laugh uncontrolably ever time.

 

[katilsu]

My CP roomate was a skipper for Jungle Cruise- so when she first started, I helped her memorize her script. Of course, the CM's add all kinds of things, among my favorite are these three at the end, right before you disembark...

" and brought to you by the rhinoceros farmers of america. Its the other other white meat and its what for dinner." (or something to that effect)
"please keep your hands and arms inside the boat, we wouldn't want you to experience any unwanted 'pier' pressure."
"and you'll notice there's a dock on the left and a dock on the right...its what we call a 'paradox.'"

 

[Invero]

Originally posted by katilsu
"and you'll notice there's a dock on the left and a dock on the right...its what we call a 'paradox.'"

And those two guys up there who will be helping you out of the boat... well, they're a pair of dorks.

 

[lt-hambone]

One of my favorites!

While being seated at the Sci-Fi Dine-In in MGM, I asked the CM where the restrooms were located. In a droll, monotone voice the CM replied, "Epcot".

Yes, the Jungle Cruise skippers have all the best lines. One of my favorites is, "We are now entering deepest, darkest Africa.... Anyone bring a flashlight?"

My all-time favorite was from a street performer in MGM. This guy was portraying a bell hop (complete with a luggage cart full of luggage) from the Tower of Terror. A young couple had stopped him near ToT, and asked him how to get to the Backlot Tour. The bell hop's reply was (in a very fast-paced voice), "Ok, what you want to do is go straight down this street, turn left at the Brown Derby, the turn right at the hat, then turn left at the theater, then go straight for about 400 feet. When the road splits you want to go right - if you go left you'll have to make a quick right and then left to get around the traffic. After you split right, hang another right and then a left and then a right, go past the studio buildings, through the arch and turn left again. At the Brown Derby go straight about 400 feet, veer left, go down the street, and ask the lady at the information booth for directions." The young couple scratched their heads, thanked him, and headed off. Last time I checked, they were still lost!

Keep them coming!


:slurp:

 

[tweetypez1]

On our last trip in November, my wife and I ate at Donald's Breakfastasaurus character Breakfast in the Animal Kingdom. Our server carefully brought a tray a drinks into the room and approached the table next to us, a family of 5. As he comes into the room he says "you guys, you gotta try these hot chocolates...they're the best..."
Then he trips and dumps the whole tray in the lap of the family father.
The cups were all empty paper cups with lids.
:lol:

 

[JTinCT]

Re: One of my favorites!

My all-time favorite was from a street performer in MGM. This guy was portraying a bell hop (complete with a luggage cart full of luggage) from the Tower of Terror. A young couple had stopped him near ToT, and asked him how to get to the Backlot Tour. The bell hop's reply was (in a very fast-paced voice), "Ok, what you want to do is go straight down this street, turn left at the Brown Derby, the turn right at the hat, then turn left at the theater, then go straight for about 400 feet. When the road splits you want to go right - if you go left you'll have to make a quick right and then left to get around the traffic. After you split right, hang another right and then a left and then a right, go past the studio buildings, through the arch and turn left again. At the Brown Derby go straight about 400 feet, veer left, go down the street, and ask the lady at the information booth for directions." The young couple scratched their heads, thanked him, and headed off. Last time I checked, they were still lost!



[/B]

Was it DELMAN!! i love him!!! he left after my CP though i think...