Funny things CM's say during spiels...

ToTallToSlow112

ToTallToSlow112

Member
Original Poster
-What funny things CM's say have made you laugh?

Mine would be on the Jungle Cruise(funniest ride if you ask me) our skipper said as we were comming to dock "and with 4 years years of college in a completely unrelated field and you too can be a Jungle Cruise Skipper" Me and my dad still laugh about it to this day.
 
The_CEO

The_CEO

Well-Known Member
Mine is from the Jungle Cruise also:

Her nickname was CupCake. She was hilarious.

She added this by the elephants:

" Oh Look its a Giant African Elephant!!!!"

(* Pause *)

"And for those who suffer of short term memory "

" Oh Look its a Giant African Elephant!!!!"

She said it like she was all exicted about seeing an elephant thats what made us laugh. Then paused and said the middle line normally then repeated the 1st. Because you see 2 elephants on the jungle cruise. :)
 
Kenan

Kenan

Member
It was about to rain at Test Track, and one of my friends said this spiel over the P.A.
" Ladies and Gentleman, we currently have inclement weather approaching the area. This weather does not allow us to perform accurate vehicle testing data. We may cease operations at any time. If you have any rain gear, please go ahead and put it on at this time cause we have just renamed ourselves, Splash Mountain." I dont know if this is funny, but it made my day.
 
jaimjaim25

jaimjaim25

New Member
In Haunted Mansion... I sit down in the buggy. thinking OK im on the ride and that that.. well a CM peeps his head over the buggy and says "BOO" i literaly jumped OUT of the seat!
 
sillyspook13

sillyspook13

Well-Known Member
One of my friends who worked on Haunted Mansion back at the time of my "ride-a-thons".......

"You keep coming and somehow you just keep on living."
 
imagineer boy

imagineer boy

Well-Known Member
When I was at Honey, I Shrunk the Audience, the cast member who was at the podium giving instructions of when to put goggles on, etc. He said, "You are sitting in the most comfortable seats in WDW. What's the secret? They're made of 100% squishey stuff.":lol:
 
Invero

Invero

Well-Known Member
Here's some of what I say...

"I'd like to welcome you aboard your (first/last) thrill ride of the (park). For your safety, Disney always recommends that you board someone else's bus. But you got on mine. With that in mind, please listen carefully to the following important safety information. (muffled like a NYC Subway announcer) I sure hope you paid close attention, as that information was very important. However, in case you missed it, I will repeat myself. We are a high speed turbulent thrill ride subject to sharp turns and sudden stops, because there are lots of crazy tourists out there that have no clue what they're doing. As such, if you are standing, hold on for dear life. Now, those of you seated, you think you have it good because you got a seat, right... yeah, think again. You're going to be the ones they fall on!"

"Folks... I'd like to apologise for the bumps in the road that you may be feeling... however, I'd like to let you know that it's not my fault. And it's not the bus's fault either. Nope... It's the Asphault."

"Alright folks, at this time, I'd like for you to gather up all your personal belongings. This includes small children, please. All small children left behind become property of the Walt Disney Co., get will be shipped over to its a small world, feet strapped down, and forced to sing that song in 7 different languages. "

"Well folks, once again, my name is Tyler, and I sure hope you enjoyed your ride with us here tonight. However, if you didn't enjoy your ride or my jokes, my name is Bob, and this has been the Walt Disney World Monorail System. "

"You folks have been an absolutly outstanding group, however, now its time for you to be outstanding on the ground. "
 
imagineer boy

imagineer boy

Well-Known Member
When I was at "It's Tough Ta be a Bug", the cast member noted to the wet seats that were wet because of the last show
( Termitator effects ) He said, "Sorry the seats are wet ladies and gentlemen, the snails are usually the last ones to leave the theater."

When we were at pirates of the caribean, the cast member at the side controls was waiting to create space between us and the boat sailing off in front of us at the boarding dock. Somone said,"Why aren't we going?" the cast member at the controls said,"We're waiting to catch a breeze to propel the boat forward.":lol:
 
imagineersrock

imagineersrock

New Member
(while on the backstage tour/catastrophe canyon attraction)

"...And ladies and gentlemen i'd also like to remind you to keep your hands, arms, feet, etc in the vehicle at all times, as well as all personal belongings. Now, in the event that you do accidently drop an object while on the tour, I need you to take your right arm, put it in the air, turn around, and WAVE THAT OBJECT GOODBYE! because we cannot stop or go back to retrieve it...":lol:
 
Sir Hiss527

Sir Hiss527

New Member
My favorite is when your on the tram and the Guy says "Any lost and found children will become property of "it's a small world".
:lol:
 
Bagheera

Bagheera

New Member
The funniest thing I heard was actually at Hersheypark in Pennsylvania lo, about 19 years ago. My wife and I still crack up when we remember it. It's really stupid, but it just really struck us. (Ow!)

We were on the tram back to the parking lot at the end of a long day, and the conductor was going through his spiel, talking about the park, what we were passing, "on your right is such and such kind of stuff", when suddenly he said:

"And on your left is a large green bush."

Maybe it was because we were tired, maybe it was just because it was unexpected, but we quote that one every now and then, and it still cracks us up!

(Earlier on that tram ride, he also started out with "Attention, K-Mart shoppers! The blue light is on in aisle 7!")

:lol:
 
J

JeepGuy77

New Member
Today I was on the Animation Tour at MGM and the animator was doing his presentation and there was a screeching child in the back and the animator stopped his presentation, turned around and said "Ok...who let the velociraptor in?"
 
Eljay

Eljay

Member
Getting ready to get off of the parking lot tram, the CM said,"Please take small children by the hair, I mean hand..."
 
sillyspook13

sillyspook13

Well-Known Member
Last night at Impressions de France......

"Just a few quick reminders before you enter the theatre. No eating. No drinking. No smoking. No flash photography. No video taping. No cell phones. No sleeping. No snoring. And NO KISSING! But, since this IS France, FRENCH kissing IS allowed."

Same cast member, after the show.........

"We have a saying in France that goes something like this. (says something in French) Roughly translated in English, it means: All good things must come to an end. So gather up all your personal belongings, exit through the doors to your left, and enjoy the rest of your evening here at EPCOT."
 
juan

juan

Well-Known Member
on Jungle Cruise last week, the boat captain said "Everytime I ride Spaceship Earth it stops. It's kinda of like they see me and call ahead, 'he's here, we have to stop the ride.' I like how Spaceship Earth has time machine vehicles that transport you through the history of communication. I just can't understand that they can't use the time machines to travel back to when the ride used to work."
 
RU42

RU42

New Member
There are so many that come from the Jungle Cruise. I think my favorite goes along the lines:

I have no idea where this forgotten tunnel will exit to. But since this is the Magic Kingdom, it will probably exit to a goft shop.

RU
 

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