I'm trying to compile a list of all the corny jokes they say on the jungle cruise, because frankly, I have nothing better to do.
Start out with the butterflies: They have a wing span of 12 inches all the way up to a whopping foot, their latin name is plasticus mechanicus electronicus and they are indigineous to Walt Disney World Florida and Walt Disney Land California.
Inspiration falls: I don't think I've ever heard a good joke here.
(I don't remember the order things go in so I'll jump around)
Schwitzer Falls: named after the famous explorer Albert Falls, and the infamous back side of water
Savannah: Those rocks are pure solid sandstone, so don't take them for granite. Over there you see a '64 Impala, and those Lion's are watching that Zebra take a nap.
Rhino/Guys on a pole: How do you keep a rhino from charging? Give him an American Express card
Python: Don't worry he's attached to the tree.
Elephants: It's ok to look, they have their trunks on, look at the big shot over there with the private shower.
Canoe w/skulls: I see dead people.
Plane Crash/Hippo pool: A plane crash can mean only thing... hippos. If those hippos can bring that plane out of mid-air imagine what they can do to this boat.
Gorilla Camp (generally reserved for days when people are wearing yellow ponchos): Everyone will be ok as long as you're not wearing yellow. Oh wait... well then don't make any sounds like a banana, they find it very appealing.
Tribal Dance: Either their doing a tribal dance or they're all hopping up and down because they can't find the key to the bathroom.
Ambush: Lookout! Britney Spears!
Old Smily: Waiting for a handout, Ginger-snaps
Temple: "Is that you tigger?" Tiger Woods... Hum Indiana Jones music... Snakes, why did it have to be snakes... Monkey's, why did it have to be monkey's.
Chief Nami: 2 of his heads for one of yours.
Docking: Be careful we don't want you to succumb to any pier pressure. If you exit the boat and you find your shoes rapidly filling up with water, get back in the boat and try the other side. If you leave your children we bring them over to it's a small world, bolt them to the ride and force them to sing that same song over and over again for the rest of their lives.
Start out with the butterflies: They have a wing span of 12 inches all the way up to a whopping foot, their latin name is plasticus mechanicus electronicus and they are indigineous to Walt Disney World Florida and Walt Disney Land California.
Inspiration falls: I don't think I've ever heard a good joke here.
(I don't remember the order things go in so I'll jump around)
Schwitzer Falls: named after the famous explorer Albert Falls, and the infamous back side of water
Savannah: Those rocks are pure solid sandstone, so don't take them for granite. Over there you see a '64 Impala, and those Lion's are watching that Zebra take a nap.
Rhino/Guys on a pole: How do you keep a rhino from charging? Give him an American Express card
Python: Don't worry he's attached to the tree.
Elephants: It's ok to look, they have their trunks on, look at the big shot over there with the private shower.
Canoe w/skulls: I see dead people.
Plane Crash/Hippo pool: A plane crash can mean only thing... hippos. If those hippos can bring that plane out of mid-air imagine what they can do to this boat.
Gorilla Camp (generally reserved for days when people are wearing yellow ponchos): Everyone will be ok as long as you're not wearing yellow. Oh wait... well then don't make any sounds like a banana, they find it very appealing.
Tribal Dance: Either their doing a tribal dance or they're all hopping up and down because they can't find the key to the bathroom.
Ambush: Lookout! Britney Spears!
Old Smily: Waiting for a handout, Ginger-snaps
Temple: "Is that you tigger?" Tiger Woods... Hum Indiana Jones music... Snakes, why did it have to be snakes... Monkey's, why did it have to be monkey's.
Chief Nami: 2 of his heads for one of yours.
Docking: Be careful we don't want you to succumb to any pier pressure. If you exit the boat and you find your shoes rapidly filling up with water, get back in the boat and try the other side. If you leave your children we bring them over to it's a small world, bolt them to the ride and force them to sing that same song over and over again for the rest of their lives.