May 20, 2005
Lake Buena Vista, Florida
In a surprise announcement today, Jay Rasulo, President of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts laid out future plans for the trouble-plagued Stitch's Great Escape attraction in the Walt Disney World Resort. Rasulo, flanked by Al Weiss, President of the Walt Disney World Resort and Marty Sklar, President of Walt Disney Imagineering called an impromptu press event together in the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World.
"I've just been through Stitch's Great Escape for the fourth time since its opening," Rasulo said, "and I can only say it's still a load of crap."
The attraction, which opened officially in November, 2004, was originally intended to appeal to a broader segment of the Walt Disney World park guests, but has undergone multiple revisions since then in an attempt to prevent small children from becoming upset.
An attraction operator at Stich's Great Escape had this to say:
"Yeah, when we first opened back in November we were constantly shutting down because these little kids kept wetting themsleves all over the theater. Man, what a mess! The puddles kept leaking into the electronics... half the time the cannons aren't working because of these little accidents!"
One adult park-goer interviewed just outside the attraction expressed his opinion.
"They should give you a Fast Pass that lets you cut through the line all the way to the exit so you don't have to actually sit through this junk!"
Mr. Sklar announced to an audience of only a handful of reporters WDI's future plans for the attraction.
"Well, the good news is we haven't scrapped all of the props from Alien Encounter, so we should be able to salvage something from all of this. The new plan is to go back to an idea that got kicked around in a brainstorming session back in `03. The revamped attraction will feature a teleportation SNAFU in which the big ugly alien from Alien Encounter accidentally gets beamed into Stitch's holding chamber. An all-out melee ensues with the audience getting sprayed with fake blood and guts. Ultimately, though, Skippy the cute little alien from the Alien Encounter pre-show eats them both and then belches this really gross chili dog smell. Yeah, we had to find a way to keep that one in there somewhere; it's really popular with the teen set."
Mr. Weiss concluded the press conference with these comments.
"Well, I hope you'll all forgive us for such short notice on the press conference, but as you can see, we just couldn't let this show go on any longer. Yeah, we've made a pretty big mess of things in this corner of Tommorowland what with Timekeeper and Carousel of Progress always being closed, and lord knows what happened to those planets that used to be spinning around up there, but I do have some good news, though... I just saved a boatload of money by switching my car insurance to Geico."
No completion date was given for the new project, but Sklar did say, "we should be able to get it done at least as quickly as we got Test Track done."
Lake Buena Vista, Florida
In a surprise announcement today, Jay Rasulo, President of Walt Disney Parks and Resorts laid out future plans for the trouble-plagued Stitch's Great Escape attraction in the Walt Disney World Resort. Rasulo, flanked by Al Weiss, President of the Walt Disney World Resort and Marty Sklar, President of Walt Disney Imagineering called an impromptu press event together in the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World.
"I've just been through Stitch's Great Escape for the fourth time since its opening," Rasulo said, "and I can only say it's still a load of crap."
The attraction, which opened officially in November, 2004, was originally intended to appeal to a broader segment of the Walt Disney World park guests, but has undergone multiple revisions since then in an attempt to prevent small children from becoming upset.
An attraction operator at Stich's Great Escape had this to say:
"Yeah, when we first opened back in November we were constantly shutting down because these little kids kept wetting themsleves all over the theater. Man, what a mess! The puddles kept leaking into the electronics... half the time the cannons aren't working because of these little accidents!"
One adult park-goer interviewed just outside the attraction expressed his opinion.
"They should give you a Fast Pass that lets you cut through the line all the way to the exit so you don't have to actually sit through this junk!"
Mr. Sklar announced to an audience of only a handful of reporters WDI's future plans for the attraction.
"Well, the good news is we haven't scrapped all of the props from Alien Encounter, so we should be able to salvage something from all of this. The new plan is to go back to an idea that got kicked around in a brainstorming session back in `03. The revamped attraction will feature a teleportation SNAFU in which the big ugly alien from Alien Encounter accidentally gets beamed into Stitch's holding chamber. An all-out melee ensues with the audience getting sprayed with fake blood and guts. Ultimately, though, Skippy the cute little alien from the Alien Encounter pre-show eats them both and then belches this really gross chili dog smell. Yeah, we had to find a way to keep that one in there somewhere; it's really popular with the teen set."
Mr. Weiss concluded the press conference with these comments.
"Well, I hope you'll all forgive us for such short notice on the press conference, but as you can see, we just couldn't let this show go on any longer. Yeah, we've made a pretty big mess of things in this corner of Tommorowland what with Timekeeper and Carousel of Progress always being closed, and lord knows what happened to those planets that used to be spinning around up there, but I do have some good news, though... I just saved a boatload of money by switching my car insurance to Geico."
No completion date was given for the new project, but Sklar did say, "we should be able to get it done at least as quickly as we got Test Track done."
