Disney Bride & Groom Forego Catering, Host Mickey & Minnie instead

[jloucks]

Perhaps they would have liked to forego gifts so the guests can spend that money on something to eat?

They don't seem like the type.

 

[WondersOfLife]

I would agree were it not for this....

"The cost to have both Minnie and Mickey for a good chunk of time (30 minutes) was almost exactly what our parents allotted for our catering budget"

The parents wanted food, the parents paid for food, it was not cool to cancel food in favor of rodents without consulting the parents/sponsor. If I were the parent, I'd be salty too.

My takeaway is when the time comes for me to sponsor my kids wedding, I need to decide if I want to just give money with zero strings attached, or have some very reasonable parameters for the money I give.

...or not give money. Is that even an option? Seems outdated.

It’s their wedding. Doesn’t matter.

I just got married back in October. My parents were so “embarrassed” that the things we put on our gift list were things like toilet paper, video games, and fun stuff. But it’s our wedding. Deal with it, or just don’t come. It’s not your celebration. It may be tacky. But we’re tacky people. Lol

If they want Mickey and Minnie instead of food, and the parents were planning on helping out with that much money anyways, then it shouldn’t matter as long as the bride and groom are happy with the outcome.

Like the article says, there were plenty of places at the wedding to order food.

 

[jloucks]

It’s their wedding. Doesn’t matter.

I just got married back in October. My parents were so “embarrassed” that the things we put on our gift list were things like toilet paper, video games, and fun stuff. But it’s our wedding. Deal with it, or just don’t come. It’s not your celebration. It may be tacky. But we’re tacky people. Lol

If they want Mickey and Minnie instead of food, and the parents were planning on helping out with that much money anyways, then it shouldn’t matter as long as the bride and groom are happy with the outcome.

Like the article says, there were plenty of places at the wedding to order food.

Or don't donate money for food. I agree with that.

 

[Pepper's Ghost]

It’s their wedding. Doesn’t matter.

I just got married back in October. My parents were so “embarrassed” that the things we put on our gift list were things like toilet paper, video games, and fun stuff. But it’s our wedding. Deal with it, or just don’t come. It’s not your celebration. It may be tacky. But we’re tacky people. Lol

If they want Mickey and Minnie instead of food, and the parents were planning on helping out with that much money anyways, then it shouldn’t matter as long as the bride and groom are happy with the outcome.

Like the article says, there were plenty of places at the wedding to order food.

Your gift registry is fine IMO. You have every right to register for whatever you want because those are gifts from people to give you what you want. No problems there, although I can see your parents' point of view. That doesn't matter though because they're YOUR gifts and you should register for what you need whether it's place settings or toilet paper.

Your perspective on Mickey&Minnie in lieu of food for the guests is a very "me" oriented perspective. Shows how much you care about the guests you've invited. Sure, the wedding is about the bride and groom, but it's a celebration with people you care about and love. If you care so little as to not even give them something to eat which, regardless of what anyone says, IS standard... then the bride and groom are showing the ones they love that they only care about themselves.

Not everyone has to do the same thing, or to the same level of course. You do what's in your means, and guests can choose to go or not. I personally went out of my way to make sure that we spent the lion's share of funds on the best meal we could afford, and a ridiculous sweet table. People appreciated it, and after 18 years I still on occasion hear from people how fantastic it was and that was one of things they remember most. It wasn't just about my wife and me... it was about all of us celebrating our relationship. Everyone always says, "the thing guests will remember most is the food"... especially if none is served. I'm willing to guess this story is BS, but if it's not the B&G are unbelievably selfish.

 

[JIMINYCR]

I’m there for the couple getting married, to show my love for them and hoping their marriage is a long and loving union. Mickey and Minnie is what the couple wants to make their special day memorable for them so they get to choose how the event is played out.
Many of my wedding guests probably would not enjoy that but they would have to go along with our wishes because it’s our day. As invited guests they have the right to decline if they wish.
It’s all about the couple, their day and how it’s made memorable and what will make them happy.

 

[Weather_Lady]

If they want Mickey and Minnie instead of food, and the parents were planning on helping out with that much money anyways, then it shouldn’t matter as long as the bride and groom are happy with the outcome.

I think the bride and groom were happy. The bride was just whining that her friends and family didn't unanimously approve of what a shoddy hostess she was. She chose to be cheap with her guests, and then got mad that her actions had consequences.

(In contrast, what you describe as "tacky" with respect to your registry - not that I'd agree with that characterization, particularly since toilet paper has become a luxury item since the pandemic! - was nothing that would have diminished your guests' experience or made them feel less-than.

It's fitting and wonderful for a couple to express themselves on their wedding day: I've been to weddings where the bride and groom cut their cake with a samurai sword, changed into boxing attire to reenact a scene from Rocky, or capped off the nuptials by joining hands and leaping into a swimming pool. I've been to weddings that took the form of backyard pig roasts, picnics in the park, and casual Friday evening dessert parties held in a church basement, and all of them were fun and uplifting celebrations that everybody enjoyed.

Where it becomes a problem is when a bride and groom deliberately and transparently shortchange their family and friends to make their day better and everyone else's worse -- I'm reminded of one wedding I attended where the well-to-do bride and groom were seated at a special table in the center of the dance floor enjoying champagne, steak and lobster, while all the guests, seated at tables arranged to face the bridal couple with nothing else to do but stare at them, were served ziti and sparkling apple juice. Ditto for those who don't have the courtesy to communicate clearly with their guests about what is and is not included in the invitation, so they can make an informed decision about whether to attend.)

In short, if a couple wants to devote their wedding day solely to "making themselves happy" at the expense of all of the guests they're "hosting," they can rest assured that they'll be the only ones who are.

 

[WondersOfLife]

I think the bride and groom were happy. The bride was just whining that her friends and family didn't unanimously approve of what she did. She chose to be cheap with her guests, and then got mad that her actions had consequences.

(In contrast, what you describe as "tacky" with respect to your registry - not that I'd agree with that characterization, particularly since toilet paper has become a luxury item since the pandemic! - was nothing that would have diminished your guests' experience or made them feel less-than. It's fitting and wonderful for a couple to express themselves on their wedding day: I've been to weddings where the bride and groom cut their cake with a samurai sword, changed into boxing attire to reenact a scene from Rocky, or capped off the nuptials by joining hands and leaping into a swimming pool. I've been to weddings that took the form of backyard pig roasts, picnics in the park, and casual Friday evening dessert parties held in a church basement, and all of them were fun and uplifting celebrations that everybody enjoyed. Where it becomes a problem is when a bride and groom deliberately and transparently shortchange their family and friends to make their day better and everyone else's worse -- I'm reminded of one wedding I attended where the bride and groom were seated at a special table in the center of the dance floor enjoying champagne, steak and lobster, while all the guests, seated at tables arranged to face the bridal couple, were served spaghetti and sparkling apple juice. Ditto for those who don't have the courtesy to communicate clearly with their guests about what is and is not included in the invitation, so they can make an informed decision about whether to attend.)

In short, if a couple wants to devote their wedding day solely to "making themselves happy" at the expense of everyone else, they can rest assured that they'll be the only ones who are.

There is no expense of others. Just don’t go.

I also don’t see anything wrong with the Ziti situation. Lol

 

[WondersOfLife]

I’m there for the couple getting married, to show my love for them and hoping their marriage is a long and loving union. Mickey and Minnie is what the couple wants to make their special day memorable for them so they get to choose how the event is played out.
Many of my wedding guests probably would not enjoy that but they would have to go along with our wishes because it’s our day. As invited guests they have the right to decline if they wish.
It’s all about the couple, their day and how it’s made memorable and what will make them happy.

Better said than mine.

 

[Weather_Lady]

also don’t see anything wrong with the Ziti situation. Lol

Maybe it's a value that is peculiar to my [decidedly lower-middle-class] social circle or my local region, but around here, when you host an event during a standard mealtime (especially a wedding reception) you feed people, and you do it generously. That doesn't mean it has to be expensive or upscale or a full meal, but whatever is served must be abundant, well-prepared, lovingly offered, and equally available to everyone (or else, the lack of food and beverages must be stated loud and clear on the invite).

To do anything less is a giant middle finger and declaration of personal animosity to your guests -- which is one reason, beyond the misappropriation of the "food money" by the subject bride for this thread, and the lack of evidence that she ever informed her guests that they were being invited merely to gaze upon her and give her things, and not to attend a reception with the trappings that would otherwise be expected -- that I find what they did to be so gauche, and the bride's pearl-clutching over her guests' disappointment to be so ridiculous.

 

[Californian Elitist]

Sure, it’s their wedding. But the fact that they spent money that was supposed to go to feeding their guests to costumed folks would annoy me. The vending machine mentioning makes it worse.

I would decline a wedding invitation if this was the case. Sure, I could eat before the wedding, but what if I and others happen to get hungry later? Nah, not going. Have a good marriage, though, hope it lasts.

We always feed people at my family events.

 

[Club Cooloholic]

There is no expense of others. Just don’t go.

I also don’t see anything wrong with the Ziti situation. Lol

Unless you tell the guests that there will not be food at the wedding they will expect food at the wedding. I bet many would not go if they knew food wasn't going to be provided.
And you know what, you can be proud of being as tacky as you want but I understand your parents embarrassment with putting TP and video games,, unless it was a joke.

 

[Pepper's Ghost]

Sure, it’s their wedding. But the fact that they spent money that was supposed to go to feeding their guests to costumed folks would annoy me. The vending machine mentioning makes it worse.

I would decline a wedding invitation if this was the case. Sure, I could eat before the wedding, but what if I and others happen to get hungry later? Nah, not going. Have a good marriage, though, hope it lasts.

We always feed people at my family events.

If I was invited to wedding that deceptively stated food would be available (but not mention it wasn't part of the deal) I'd be pretty upset and it would tell me a lot about the couple I'm going there for. That's a great way to have your friends and family talk cr@p about you and not want to be around you.

If the invitation clearly stated no food would be served, then I'd probably go, but put $20 or $50 in an envelope with a Post-It that said "congrats on your thing". I wouldn't be upset though because it was clear.

It's funny. It's the same even for birthday parties in my life. Years ago my ex-SIL used to have big birthday parties starting at 3pm with tons of food for dinner, then cake, etc. One time she invited everyone over for 7pm and only did cake and gifts. Each party prior to that was a big to-do and we gave nice gifts. That one was a 2 hr event, but we all thought they'd have food so everyone was starving. That was the last time she did that. It looked like a clear "Come over and give our kid presents and money and then leave" party. That's what a dinner-less wedding reception is. Come over and give us money and leave party.

 

[jloucks]

If I was invited to wedding that deceptively stated food would be available (but not mention it wasn't part of the deal) I'd be pretty upset and it would tell me a lot about the couple I'm going there for. That's a great way to have your friends and family talk cr@p about you and not want to be around you.

If the invitation clearly stated no food would be served, then I'd probably go, but put $20 or $50 in an envelope with a Post-It that said "congrats on your thing". I wouldn't be upset though because it was clear.

It's funny. It's the same even for birthday parties in my life. Years ago my ex-SIL used to have big birthday parties starting at 3pm with tons of food for dinner, then cake, etc. One time she invited everyone one over for 7pm and only did cake and gifts. Each party prior to that was a big to-do and we gave nice gifts. That one was a 2 hr event, but we all thought they'd have food so everyone was starving. That was the last time she did that. It looked like a clear "Come over and give our kid presents and money and then leave" party. That's what a dinner-less wedding reception is. Come over and give us money and leave party.

Funny you mention this.

My gifts are, not coincidentally, often tied to the generosity of the hosts. To put it another way, I would feel like a complete schmuck if I spent less on them, then they did on me.

Case in point, my executive assistant was married and had tons of food and an open bar at their wedding. I know, because I work very closely with this person, that they paid for almost all the drinks out of their own pocket. I was so moved by the generosity I made it a point to give a, almost inappropriately, large wedding gift gift card on their desk for when they returned from the honeymoon. Needless to say, I paid for many many of the guests drinks that evening.

 

[The Mom]

Perhaps they could have only had one character session, and used the other fee to provide punch and cookies to their guests instead? With Disney prices it could well cost $2700.

The time of the wedding was not mentioned, and many weddings are held earlier than park opening. Maybe guests could have been given coffee and donuts? But if it was held during normal dining hours (11:30AM- 2PM) or 5 - 7PM most people would expect to be fed - even if just finger sandwiches, cheese and crackers, etc.

Would posters feel the same "it's their wedding they get to choose" if the bride and groom (but especially the bride) had spent the money on their outfits instead of serving any food?

 

[wdwmagic]

I think the guests should just have been happy they didn't have to buy Genie+ or book a Lightning Lane to see Mickey

 

[Dear Prudence]

I should preface this by saying I think weddings are overly expensive, boring, exhausting wastes of time. That out of the way, it's their wedding, they can do what they want.

The obsession that Twitter has with this is exhausting--why they are acting like THEY had to pay for it is beyond me. I can see if I had been a guest being miffed, but a stranger on Twitter being PO'd like it was a personal attack against them and they paid for it out of their own wallets is just next level.

 

[The Mom]

I should preface this by saying I think weddings are overly expensive, boring, exhausting wastes of time. That out of the way, it's their wedding, they can do what they want.

The obsession that Twitter has with this is exhausting--why they are acting like THEY had to pay for it is beyond me. I can see if I had been a guest being miffed, but a stranger on Twitter being PO'd like it was a personal attack against them and they paid for it out of their own wallets is just next level.

Maybe people are trying to discourage others from doing the same thing, thinking this is generally OK.
"I wonder if I could use the catering money that Mom & Dad gave me for a designer gown instead - I've always dreamed of being married wearing a Vera Wang gown. It will make me so, so happy. Surely my guests won't mind buying their own food if it makes me happy? After all, it's all about me - they're just an audience, and people have no problem paying to see a show. If they love me, they won't mind as long as I'm happy."

 

[Magic Crush Drop]

It's annoying that Twitter thinks that this guy represents all Disney Adults. Anything for that Disney hate .

 

[eliza61nyc]

Maybe it's a value that is peculiar to my [decidedly lower-middle-class] social circle or my local region, but around here, when you host an event during a standard mealtime (especially a wedding reception) you feed people, and you do it generously. That doesn't mean it has to be expensive or upscale or a full meal, but whatever is served must be abundant, well-prepared, lovingly offered, and equally available to everyone (or else, the lack of food and beverages must be stated loud and clear on the invite). To do anything less is a giant middle finger and declaration of personal animosity to your guests -- which is one reason, beyond the misappropriation of the "food money" by the subject bride for this thread, and the lack of evidence that she ever informed her guests that they were being invited merely to gaze upon her and give her things, and not to attend a reception with the trappings that would otherwise be expected -- that I find what they did to be so gauche, and the bride's pearl-clutching over her guests' disappointment to be so ridiculous.

Wow, that's an interesting way to view it.
Around here it's more of "the bride and groom " get to decide. I went to a wedding last November, no full meal just small tapas plates and a cupcakes bar.
Now they did say that on the rsvp card so I wasn't expecting dinner, maybe that's the issue but no one I know blinks an eye at "alternative " celebrations.
We're definitely along the lines of "it's the brides day". That's what my late husband and I did and I don't think that made us "selfish"

Lol, when my husband died I had his repast at the Eagies stadium so obviously I'm a weird duck. He was an Uber eagles fan

 

[Kamikaze]

It's annoying that Twitter thinks that this guy represents all Disney Adults. Anything for that Disney hate *****.

Step 1: Don't go on Twitter.
Step 2: Actually, that's it.