Today has been a hard day for me. It's the 5 year anniversary of losing my Mom. On another forum, one about scrapbooking, several people posted about losing a family member to COVID-19. Since I know what loss feels like, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's been 5 years, but with all of this, it feels like a horrible scar has been reopened and it hurts just as much, but without the shock and numbness to dull the pain. There are going to be thousands of people who are going to know what that feels like. Millions of people around the world are going to know what that feels like. Without the ability to say a proper goodbye and comfort each other.
I know there is going to come a point where it's just too much. I don't know how we got from 8000 deaths worldwide to 58,000. From 3000 deaths in China to over 7000 deaths in just the US, in like 3 weeks, and there is still so much "eh, death happens." I don't expect adding a 0 to those numbers will change much either. I've been trying to figure out what I will need to do with myself, when time wasting on the Internet is no longer a distraction. I am usually pretty good at compartmentalizing... but this... I'm vacillating between bracing myself for the continual waves of sadness, and the anger that we've demonized the skills and choices we will need to get ourselves out of it.