Grantsdale
New Member
MickeyMan101 said:
Sigh. Quote it right.
"... the back side of water"
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Best Jungle Cruise Jokes
- Thread starter SkipperRyan
- Start date
Sigh. Quote it right.
"... the back side of water"
LSUxStitch
Well-Known Member
SkipperRyan said:
:lol: :lol: :lol: Oh man, what a great joke. (Not disneylike, but it's still funny)Whish I had a cool skip like that!
cherrynegra
Well-Known Member
I heard this one at DL this past weekend. I heard it as we were exiting the boat onto the dock and another JC CM was helping people out..
"And for those of you in the back of the boat, Tom is eagerly waiting to help you in the rear." To which Tom replied, "HEY!!":lol:
"And for those of you in the back of the boat, Tom is eagerly waiting to help you in the rear." To which Tom replied, "HEY!!":lol:
Dragonrider1227
Well-Known Member
"If you exit the boat and feel your shoes rapidly filling with water, that means you got out on the wrong side." :lol: :hammer:
Wbnemo1
Active Member
1 little 2 little 3 little hippos i've used for 10 big ones lol..... my little song! that and ...here we are in our hippo pool, we here at the Jungle cruise are the proud owners of elev......(bang) oops .... uhh 10 of these amazing creatures....
also, when you do the dead zebra joke you have to set it up right, all in the delievery!...otherwise, it would definitly offend guests, that I would neve do. ginger snaps, one tough cookie, sweitzer falls, lean in, lean in, ya won't get wet, the water is synthetic
monorail joke is a termination joke ,don't use it....
Jungle bound!
William
also, when you do the dead zebra joke you have to set it up right, all in the delievery!...otherwise, it would definitly offend guests, that I would neve do. ginger snaps, one tough cookie, sweitzer falls, lean in, lean in, ya won't get wet, the water is synthetic
monorail joke is a termination joke ,don't use it....
Jungle bound!
William
MickeyTigg
New Member
"The Pigmies that attacked were from the Britney tribe...because they were throwing Britney Spears....ooops, I did it again."
SilentWindODoom
Well-Known Member
William, do you mean people get fired for the monorail joke? Why? Sorry if that's not what you meant, but the last part of that post kind of frightened and confused me.
Love that pygmy one, Tigger. I've never heard it before.
Oh, and I can't believe I forgot the one about getting off the boat on the wrong side.
Another good one:
"That lion can jump 20 feet! Fortunately, we're only 10 feet away. He'll go right over us."
Love that pygmy one, Tigger. I've never heard it before.
Oh, and I can't believe I forgot the one about getting off the boat on the wrong side.
Another good one:
"That lion can jump 20 feet! Fortunately, we're only 10 feet away. He'll go right over us."
MagliteL13
Active Member
Hmmm, favorite jokes? Definetly a hard one. I think my entire Namee thing--pretty standard, but never fails to generate laughs (or groans).
"This is Chief Namee--he's our head salesman here in the Jungle. Business has been really shrinking lately due to some large overhead but there's a special deal going on--two of his heads for one of yours. Any way you slice it or dice it, he comes out ahead. Ya know how Chief Namee lives? One step ahead of the next guy. I was actually invited over to his house one evening for dinner (his wife makes a pretty good stew), but I got there a little late so all he gave me was the cold shoulder. [Pause] Seriously, I just told you 10 puns in a row trying to make you guys laugh, but no pun in ten did."
"A plane crash in the jungle can only mean one thing....Hippos!"
"I can't see anybody, Canoe?"
"Don't make any sounds like a banana! It really drives them ape. They find it very apealing"
"Sorry about the punishment."
"This is Chief Namee--he's our head salesman here in the Jungle. Business has been really shrinking lately due to some large overhead but there's a special deal going on--two of his heads for one of yours. Any way you slice it or dice it, he comes out ahead. Ya know how Chief Namee lives? One step ahead of the next guy. I was actually invited over to his house one evening for dinner (his wife makes a pretty good stew), but I got there a little late so all he gave me was the cold shoulder. [Pause] Seriously, I just told you 10 puns in a row trying to make you guys laugh, but no pun in ten did."
"A plane crash in the jungle can only mean one thing....Hippos!"
"I can't see anybody, Canoe?"
"Don't make any sounds like a banana! It really drives them ape. They find it very apealing"
"Sorry about the punishment."
MagliteL13
Active Member
SilentWindODoom said:
I'm not William (of course) but it's a terminable joke (as in people can get fired for using it). There are quite a few well known jokes like that--the bambi one is another. And let's not get started on the different names of the natives.
PhotoDave219
Well-Known Member
"Well, that takes care of the ones in the trees."
disneydata
Well-Known Member
Oh there are plenty of jokes that can or will get you fired. Any jokes that directly bash Disney or one of its subsidiaries (hence the monorail and Bambi jokes) or jokes that offend guests are good examples.
A good joke to me is any joke that is properly delivered in both wording and action. You can have the best joke, yet have no physical or vocal infliction and it turns out to be the worst. My favorite jokes are the ones that have a long delivery and a really cheezy punchline.
"Looks like the only way out is behind the falls. Alright everyone, get your camera's ready. It's time for a great photo opportunity - something you'll never see again for the rest of your life - the pinnacle of your vacation - THE BACKSIDE OF WATER!"
So that's what you do when you showstop all the time ...
A good joke to me is any joke that is properly delivered in both wording and action. You can have the best joke, yet have no physical or vocal infliction and it turns out to be the worst. My favorite jokes are the ones that have a long delivery and a really cheezy punchline.
"Looks like the only way out is behind the falls. Alright everyone, get your camera's ready. It's time for a great photo opportunity - something you'll never see again for the rest of your life - the pinnacle of your vacation - THE BACKSIDE OF WATER!"
MagliteL13 said:
So that's what you do when you showstop all the time ...
Soarinluvr
New Member
I had a great skipper one time as we were entering the temple he squatted down and whispered in the mic: "Drink Coca Cola, take pictures with Kodak, buy me a Turkey Leg. Have you ever noticed how much the turkey legs taste like ham?" or at the end "If you enjoyed yourself my name is Chris if you didnt my name is Justin Timberlake and you can Cry Me a River."
Finally one day I got on the boat and the weight of the boat was going to one side and the skipper said "Maybe we should change the name of the boat to ILene." Get it I Lean
Finally one day I got on the boat and the weight of the boat was going to one side and the skipper said "Maybe we should change the name of the boat to ILene." Get it I Lean
PhotoDave219
Well-Known Member
"Everything on this ride is real. Its just the ducks that are fake."
PhotoDave219
Well-Known Member
"Thats my friend Dr OHantus there on the bottom See that Rhino Poke Ohanuts? His friends call him Juan, so apparently its a Hole in Juan."
BeckyLSawyer
New Member
My favorite joke of mine is in the hippo pool.
At the beginning I say, "Oh, wow. Hippos. Wow. Hippos and plane crashes, two things that should always go together in my opinion... But don't worry, kids, I'm well trained for these dangerous situations, not to mention I stay cool under pressure and I'm a crack shot with my six shooter..."
Hippo attacks and I scream like a little girl. I pull out the gun and fire off about eight shots, still screaming. I turn around, look at the gun, look at the crew, shrug and as I'm putting the gun away, I say, "Don't worry, I got the dangerous ones... The ones in the trees... Tree hippos. Rare species... Oh look, natives!"
The end. The best part is when people look for the tree hippos.
At the beginning I say, "Oh, wow. Hippos. Wow. Hippos and plane crashes, two things that should always go together in my opinion... But don't worry, kids, I'm well trained for these dangerous situations, not to mention I stay cool under pressure and I'm a crack shot with my six shooter..."
Hippo attacks and I scream like a little girl. I pull out the gun and fire off about eight shots, still screaming. I turn around, look at the gun, look at the crew, shrug and as I'm putting the gun away, I say, "Don't worry, I got the dangerous ones... The ones in the trees... Tree hippos. Rare species... Oh look, natives!"
The end. The best part is when people look for the tree hippos.
Irrawaddy Erik
Well-Known Member
Look at that! It's a large Bengal Tiger. Now, Bengal Tigers are known to leap over FIVE THOUSAND feet in order to catch their prey. That is...when you throw them out of an airplane..
:lol:
and as told by one of my ol skipper friends
And now,
the reason you came;
the most spectacular site you'll see all day.
ladies and gentlemen,
a true wonder of the world!
a splendiferous sight of epic proportions!
a once in a lifetime opportunity!
ladies and gentlemen!
today's the day,
never again!
never before!
ladies and gentlemen!
get your cameras up!
get your children up!
because you won't see this anywhere else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen,
I give you,
without further ado,
the much heralded!
the much anticipated!
the much awaited!
the much sought after!
the much talked about!
the much ballyhooed!
the pinacle of sight and sound that's unparalelled and unprecedented by anything else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen!
I give you,
the pinacle of your Walt Disney World Resort experience!
the crescendo of your Magic Kingdom day!
ladies and gentlemen,
a sight that's unrivalled by anything else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen,
you've searched the ends of the earth!
the corners of the globe!
the edges of the universe!
ladies and gentlemen,
the sole reason you came to Walt Disney World!
it's amazing!
incredible!
astounding!
fascinating!
ladies and gentlemen,
the highlight of the cruise!
ladies and gentlemen,
the sight that you'll be telling your grandchildren about for generations!
ladies and gentlemen,
the backside of water!:brick:
:lol:
and as told by one of my ol skipper friends
And now,
the reason you came;
the most spectacular site you'll see all day.
ladies and gentlemen,
a true wonder of the world!
a splendiferous sight of epic proportions!
a once in a lifetime opportunity!
ladies and gentlemen!
today's the day,
never again!
never before!
ladies and gentlemen!
get your cameras up!
get your children up!
because you won't see this anywhere else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen,
I give you,
without further ado,
the much heralded!
the much anticipated!
the much awaited!
the much sought after!
the much talked about!
the much ballyhooed!
the pinacle of sight and sound that's unparalelled and unprecedented by anything else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen!
I give you,
the pinacle of your Walt Disney World Resort experience!
the crescendo of your Magic Kingdom day!
ladies and gentlemen,
a sight that's unrivalled by anything else in the world today!
ladies and gentlemen,
you've searched the ends of the earth!
the corners of the globe!
the edges of the universe!
ladies and gentlemen,
the sole reason you came to Walt Disney World!
it's amazing!
incredible!
astounding!
fascinating!
ladies and gentlemen,
the highlight of the cruise!
ladies and gentlemen,
the sight that you'll be telling your grandchildren about for generations!
ladies and gentlemen,
the backside of water!:brick:
mikeymouse
Well-Known Member
I like the one about finally getting the jeep to "turn over"