Trip Report A cat on my head is not my idea of a fun Saturday night! I'M GOIN' BACK!!!!!!

POSSIBLE pre-trip

Soooo, I've been teasing (my partner) Phil for a while, because he hates the idea of going back to the World since we were just there. Well....."just" if you count last June as "just".

So of course on Christmas, I freaked him out by making him believe that he was going to unwrap some Magic Bands and a resort reservation. He didn't. He unwrapped a NutriNinja and a shirt or two.

And now I've started to joke with him about giving him a surprise trip present for Valentine's Day. So, over the weekend, this conversation happened:

Phil: You know what? I don't care if I ever go back there.

Me: Oh, really?

Phil: Yeah. As a matter of fact, I NEVER wanna go back there.

Me: How can you say that? You always have so much fun when you're there.

Phil: It's hot. It's crowded. It's miserable. We've seen everything. I'm not going back!

Me: Fine!

Phil: Fine!

We eat our pizza in silence for a few minutes. Oh, I forgot to mention - we were out for pizza dinner.

Then:

Me: Ya, know, I can just go without you.

Phil: I wish you would.

Me: So maybe I will.

Phil: So maybe you should.

I've threatened this before but have never followed through with it, because as much as he protests, I know he will get really jealous right up at the point when I am leaving for five days or so of fun. I'll be having a wonderful time flying around inside a space mountain or drinking around a world, and he gets to stay home and give cats a ride around the house on his head in a basket on a Saturday night.

Oh, did I not mention this before? We have very demanding cats.

Lemme tell you something. If someone told me in my 20's that I would spend Saturday nights in my 40's giving a cat a guided tour of the house in a basket on my head, I would have punched them in the face.

So, annnyway...........This conversation got a bit heated, filled with lots of "I don't know why you need to go back when you been there a million times" and "Why don't you just let me do what I want to do" and blah blah blah blah.

After pizza and a couple of carafes of wine, I was like "You know what, I'm doing it!"

So while Phil drove us home in icy silence, I texted my actor friend, Paul (and fellow drunkard) who I have known since college, and said:

"Phil just told me he's never going to Disney again. F- that. I'm going. Wanna come?"

And seconds later, Paul texted back and said:

"Of course! I'll go to Disney in a heartbeat! Let me know when!!!!!!"

So, there's the very distinct possibility that I might get to return to WDW this year.

I went with Paul once before, and also with our mutual friend, Mario Cantone (the comedian from Sex and the City, The View, etc.) Here we are in a few shots from that trip, impossibly young - The below I think is the Osbourne Lights but someone will correct me if I am wrong:

And this is the Rainforest Cafe at Animal Kingdom. On this day, Julie Andrews sat down a few tables away from us with a pretty big entourage. What is cooler than seeing Julie Andres at Disney? Mario, being a semi-celeb at the time, went to say hi to her and had a long conversation. Paul and I cowered at our own table and sucked down bloody marys.

Then there was some shenanigans in front of Dinosaur.

And an audience with Pooh.

Oh look. I used to think I was a little surfer, with a little white necklace, and a wacky Hawaiian shirt. Sigh.

And here is Flock of Seagulls, I mean, err, me, riding in a Tomorrowland rocket.

So, this is all my very long winded way of saying that there might be a trip in my near future if I am willing to go through with it and leave Phil at home and take my friend Paul instead.

I just got a text from Paul and he said he can do it in April.

Never been in April. Are there cheerleaders? Tour groups? etc?

Fast passes and reservations for meals probably already gone. Yes? No?

Update. Just got another text from Paul. He says: "Let's book it."

Argghhhhh. I think I am going to go for it. Phil doesn't think I am going to go through with this, but he's the one who started it by saying he will never go again. Ahhh well. He can have a fun time riding cats around on his head while I am riding on a Monorail. I hope this doesn't lead to divorce court.



Stay tuned!

 

[BuddyThomas]

So, a new day rose on Phoenix, and on the Clarendon Resort, which...er....looks kind of like a tomb.

It looks like something from a dystopian young adult novel. But anyway...............

We went to the front desk and we said something like "Hello, so we've never been to Phoenix before, and we will probably never be here again. Can you suggest anything that we should do?"

And after the front desk person looked at us like we had four heads, she said "um....well, what do you want to do?"

And we said something like - "Well, what would you do if you were a tourist here?"

And she paused. And thought. And then she said "Well there's really nothing to do. Maybe if you want, you can go downtown to City Center. They have some shops and restaurants."

Ummmmm........hurray?

So she told us how to get to this paradise by the light rail and so we got on it and headed down there:

But when we got to "City Center", it was this:

It was all a bunch of stadiums, grouped together, that would probably be really fun if anything was going on in them, but they were all deserted. And so were the streets. Phil started b@tching and I reminded him that this was his choice, and he could be drinking around the world right now, to which he practically threatened divorce.

It was like 100 degrees, and we were in Phoenix "city center" with nothing at all to do, so we just decided to cut our losses and head back to the hotel. At least there was a free wine happy hour on the roof of the hotel at 5PM.

And due to the magic of let's get this terrible boring non-Disney trip report over with, look! We're already at the roof top wine party!

Yuck. Thanks, Phil. You literally turned me into Two Face. Half dark, half white. All blechhhh!

And then we headed to dinner and the show, and I'll be back to you in a few minutes with that.

 

[BuddyThomas]

Okay, I cannot believe that I typed this entire thing already and it got deleted due to a computer crash. Fun!

But anyway, let's finish this thing up.

We left the wine party on the roof the head for the theatre and a dinner beforehand. Like deja vu, we got back on this thing:

Next thing you know, we were at the stop for the theatre. Not too many restaurants around, but we saw this place:

Looked a little sketchy, but it ended up being totally awesome. It turns out this place just opened, It used to be a Pizza Hut, but this very nice family bought it and they are dishing out seriously authentic Mexican food. Honestly, I can't remember ever having better Mexican food than this. It was wonderful. And I was feeling wonderful as you can see in this shot:

Yeah, that's right, I look totally insane in that picture, but you guys knew that already.

And suddenly, it was time for my play.

I have to tell you that I was so nervous - completely freaking out, actually - there was no way for me to know what to expect. My plays usually get good reviews, but this was a brand new one and a wacky, hard R-rated spoof on Disney characters that I love, by a theatre company whose work I had never seen.

Well, even though I did not know it at the time, I had nothing to worry about. And I'll get to that in just a moment to make sure I don't have another computer crash.

 

[BuddyThomas]

Okay so thanks to my three viewers of this ridiculous Phoenix trip report. Much appreciated. You will be rewarded with pictures of princesses soon. They might not be how you remember them, but they are princesses all the same.

But anyway, on to the play. Right before arrival, this review appeared online on "Talkin' Broadway", which covers shows around the country:

"And they lived happily ever after" is a statement often made at the end of fairy tales and Disney animated films to proclaim just what happened to those fantasyland princesses who finally found their prince. But, according to playwright Buddy Thomas, it turns out that everyone doesn't live so happily ever after in Wonderland. His Wonderland Wives, receiving its world premiere in a sassy production from Nearly Naked Theatre, takes those well-known Disney princesses and turns them into desperate housewives in this very R-rated comedy. The end result is silly, campy fun with some delicious catty barbs, a talented cast, and a funny story.

Thomas includes the following Disney princesses in his play: Snow White, Cinderella, Belle (fromBeauty and the Beast), and Briar Rose (aka Sleeping Beauty). As the story begins, here is the current fate of our beloved ladies: Snow's husband went out for a bucket of milk six years ago and never came back; turns out he's shacked up with the Three Little Pigs. Rose has been in rehab. Belle has had enough of the Beast and his lazy ways. And, while he returned to his human princely form, there is still some "beast" left in him (just one result of this is that, when Belle was pregnant, she ended up delivering not a baby but a litter of pups). Cindy's husband is just out of jail after being imprisoned on a slew of charges and while he was away Cindy put on a few pounds. As one of her friends states, after not seeing her in a long time, "You look like you ate Cinderella."

The plot of the comedy focuses on Cindy's attempt to get back at her friends once her philandering husband ends up in bed with them. She enlists the aid of the Evil Queen from the Snow White tale to help her get revenge. But alas, as in most fairy tales, nothing goes the way one plans and Thomas' play is filled will enchanting characters and witty one-liners that play off of and lampoon these well-known characters and stories. While some of the comical bits overtake the plot in the second act, it is still a charming and often hilarious show."

Yeah, okay, I could do worse. I'll take it.

Soooo.......we had finished up at the Mexican restaurant, and we crossed the street to Phoenix Theatre:

And here we are in front of the show poster!

And I'll be back with you in just a few minutes.

 

[BuddyThomas]

Anyway, behold, Wonderland Wives! Or at least we were about to at Phoenix Theatre.

The show was sold out and I was so completely nervous that I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but the audience was incredible and laughed hysterically at every single line. The cast was out of this world. I never knew they had such amazing actors in Phoenix, but they do.

Here are a few shots with some of them -

Yeah, not your standard Disney meet and greet. Alice back there would give your kids nightmares for weeks. LOL And Cindy's put on so many pounds that she has ripped through her dress. Belle is a drunk. Snow is out of her mind, and Briar Rose (the "Sleeping Beauty") has just returned from Celebrity Princess Rehab. And you don't even want to know what happened to Ariel. Ahhhh, leave it to me to ruin a happy ending.

And they all lived semi-happily after. At least until the next trip report.

Love you all, and will see you on other threads until the Phil Monster lets me go to Disney again.

 

[Figgy1]

Anyway, behold, Wonderland Wives! Or at least we were about to at Phoenix Theatre.

The show was sold out and I was so completely nervous that I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but the audience was incredible and laughed hysterically at every single line. The cast was out of this world. I never knew they had such amazing actors in Phoenix, but they do.

Here are a few shots with some of them -

View attachment 138717
Yeah, not your standard Disney meet and greet. Alice back there would give your kids nightmares for weeks. LOL And Cindy's put on so many pounds that she has ripped through her dress. Belle is a drunk. Snow is out of her mind, and Briar Rose (the "Sleeping Beauty") has just returned from Celebrity Princess Rehab. And you don't even want to know what happened to Ariel. Ahhhh, leave it to me to ruin a happy ending.
View attachment 138718 View attachment 138719
View attachment 138720
And they all lived semi-happily after. At least until the next trip report.

Love you all, and will see you on other threads until the Phil Monster lets me go to Disney again.

I'm beyond happy you're play is everything you wanted it to be. But I think Phil owes you 4 Disney trips. You need to get him to the 5 for 10 shot place and get him to agree the next vacation will be Disney! Make sure to get a recording!

 

[Figgy1]

BTW I now have even less reason to visit Arizona THNX

 

[MinnieM123]

Had some laughs here this morning, reading about your latest adventures out in Phoenix.

Glad to hear your play sold out, and that's it's doing so well. You must be proud of your work. (Oh, just a P.S.: There's a "spoiler" tag you can use, if you're not sure if any photos you post fall within forum guidelines.)

Maybe in a few weeks you can suggest to Phil that another Disney trip might be fun, and you can always bring up the Phoenix trip to him, to compare the two. I don't think he can argue with that!!

 

[WDW74]

hmmmm...could Phil be talked into accompanying you on a "business trip" to WDW if you secured a run at an Orlando regional theater ? (If The Mouse didn't put the kabosh on it...)

 

[Tony the Tigger]

So, a new day rose on Phoenix, and on the Clarendon Resort, which...er....looks kind of like a tomb.
View attachment 138699

It looks like something from a dystopian young adult novel. But anyway...............

We went to the front desk and we said something like "Hello, so we've never been to Phoenix before, and we will probably never be here again. Can you suggest anything that we should do?"

And after the front desk person looked at us like we had four heads, she said "um....well, what do you want to do?"

And we said something like - "Well, what would you do if you were a tourist here?"

And she paused. And thought. And then she said "Well there's really nothing to do. Maybe if you want, you can go downtown to City Center. They have some shops and restaurants."

Ummmmm........hurray?

So she told us how to get to this paradise by the light rail and so we got on it and headed down there:

View attachment 138702

But when we got to "City Center", it was this:

View attachment 138703
It was all a bunch of stadiums, grouped together, that would probably be really fun if anything was going on in them, but they were all deserted. And so were the streets. Phil started b@tching and I reminded him that this was his choice, and he could be drinking around the world right now, to which he practically threatened divorce.

It was like 100 degrees, and we were in Phoenix "city center" with nothing at all to do, so we just decided to cut our losses and head back to the hotel. At least there was a free wine happy hour on the roof of the hotel at 5PM.

And due to the magic of let's get this terrible boring non-Disney trip report over with, look! We're already at the roof top wine party!
View attachment 138704 View attachment 138705
Yuck. Thanks, Phil. You literally turned me into Two Face. Half dark, half white. All blechhhh!

And then we headed to dinner and the show, and I'll be back to you in a few minutes with that.

I call BS. You were never on the roof. That pic is photoshopped from a pic of you astride a pony LOL.

 

[Tony the Tigger]

I really want to see this show! Let us know when it's somewhere other than Phoenix! LOL

 

[build_it]

I have a great idea for your next trip to WDW during Halloween. It involves you being dressed as Snow White and Phil being dressed as Charming. How comfortable do you think he'd be wearing and apple for a costume?

I bet that would violate a dress code...

 

[ScarletBegonias]

Seriously sounds like such a cool play! Congrats!

 

[BuddyThomas]

I have a great idea for your next trip to WDW during Halloween. It involves you being dressed as Snow White and Phil being dressed as Charming. How comfortable do you think he'd be wearing and apple for a costume?

I bet that would violate a dress code...

LOL, nice idea, but that would never work. I don't do drag, but if i did, I am sure I would look something like this:

 

[Tony the Tigger]

LOL, nice idea, but that would never work. I don't do drag, but if i did, I am sure I would look something like this:

View attachment 139971

Had to do it twice for "turnabout night" when I was a bartender. Oh, lawdy!

 

[build_it]

LOL, nice idea, but that would never work. I don't do drag, but if i did, I am sure I would look something like this:

View attachment 139971

There is no way you're tall enough to pull off Bea... Better stick to something more like...

And I picture if Phil went in drag with you, he'd be more like...

 

[Sans Souci]

You should have gone to Tempe or Scottsdale if you wanted night life.

 

[Debbie Dykeman]

Your Phoenix trip report made me laugh out loud!!! hope you make it back to Disney soon, I love reading your trip reports! they are fantastic

 

[BuddyThomas]

Your Phoenix trip report made me laugh out loud!!! hope you make it back to Disney soon, I love reading your trip reports! they are fantastic

Thanks so much!

 

[fractal]

So...........I;m just gonna post it. I don't care. It's a fantastic shot. People might complain that it is too "adult", but I am going to give you fair spoiler warning, and I think that should be cool. You are about to see an R rated picture of Wonderland Wives, and it will be seen (so long as no one whines that they are offended and it gets deleted) in:

10

9

8

7

6

5

4

3

2

1

HORRIFYING PICTURE IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN - SHIELD YOUR EYES IF EASILY OFFENDED!!!

View attachment 138715

Yeah, I know it's not that bad, but some people on here are offended if they see a nipple, so I had to be sure.

Anyway, behold, Wonderland Wives! Or at least we were about to at Phoenix Theatre.

The show was sold out and I was so completely nervous that I thought I was going to have a heart attack, but the audience was incredible and laughed hysterically at every single line. The cast was out of this world. I never knew they had such amazing actors in Phoenix, but they do.

Here are a few shots with some of them -

View attachment 138717
Yeah, not your standard Disney meet and greet. Alice back there would give your kids nightmares for weeks. LOL And Cindy's put on so many pounds that she has ripped through her dress. Belle is a drunk. Snow is out of her mind, and Briar Rose (the "Sleeping Beauty") has just returned from Celebrity Princess Rehab. And you don't even want to know what happened to Ariel. Ahhhh, leave it to me to ruin a happy ending.
View attachment 138718 View attachment 138719
View attachment 138720
And they all lived semi-happily after. At least until the next trip report.

Love you all, and will see you on other threads until the Phil Monster lets me go to Disney again.

Enjoyable report, but in this group photo I was expecting a lot loss clothing and at least two apples.

 

[catmom46]

Enjoyable report, but in this group photo I was expecting a lot loss clothing and at least two apples.

Oh good, I'm not the only late one to the party! @BuddyThomas, another triumphant TR! Definitely keep us posted of your 2017 trip - maybe I'll be lucky enough to be there around the same time and experience the magic firsthand.