Best Jungle Cruise Jokes

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SkipperRyan

New Member
Original Poster
I'm looking for the best jungle cruise jokes you've ever heard. I'm not taking credit for any of these as I'm sure they've been used by numerous skippers but here goes

(at the african veldt)

There is the first rule of the jungle...Survival of the fittest...As shown by the pride of lions protecting the sleeping zebra...(Crew gives a small laugh)...I'm just kidding kids...he's dead.

I think this may be William's.
 
MommytoMJM

MommytoMJM

New Member
Love the inlaws jokes at the gorilla part, Variety of snake satrts with a P Plastic!, and the 71 Impala....

Not a fan of telling kids the zebra is dead tho....
 
dumboflyer

dumboflyer

Well-Known Member
I like the jokes that don't talk about other rides or pop culture things---I think they are more timeless!

My favorite is the backside of water joke, but it's so much better when the skipper adds "I tried to see if while I was getting ready this morning, but I kept hitting my head on the sink." HEHEHE! So stupid, but I laugh.
 
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PBarton

Active Member
UltimtMickeyFan said:
While coming up to the Temple, there is "Heres the first attempt at the Monorail system!!"
Click to expand...
You beat me to it!!:wave:

I loved that joke! The next time I rode the Jungle Cruise, I remembered to take a picture of the broken stone beam - it looks like a pointless picture to most people who have looked at our photo albums, but it always brings a smile to my face.
 
SilentWindODoom

SilentWindODoom

Well-Known Member
My favorites

"And now, one of the most majestic sights on our cruise: the backside of water."

It's just a classic line. I watched a video of the ride where the skipper instead said "And now, the joke that never dies: the backside of water."

"This is Schweitzer Falls, named after the famous scientist Doctor Albert... Falls."

"We're heading into the dock now. Or, as Michael Jackson would say, *high pitched voice* 'We're heading into the dock.' Or, as Milli Vanilli would say, *mouths the words 'We're heading into the dock.'"

"I went over Trader Sam's house for dinner last night. Unfortunately, I showed up late, and all I got was the cold shoulder."


The funniest one I heard, though, was on here. I forget who it was.

"One little, two little, three little hippos. Four little, five little, *shoots* four little hippos."
 
S

SkipperRyan

New Member
Original Poster
Jokes that will get you fired

I only did this one once and it was on a boat of only two guests and they were Jungle Cruise West Skippers

(at the african veldt looking at the deer)
AWWWWW look its bamby and his mom (FIRE GUN) AWWWW now its just Bambi


This joke did get someone fired. I don't even think its very funny or clever
(at Chief Namee)
There is Chief Namee...Looks like he got some head last night.
 
TTATraveler

TTATraveler

Active Member
Anyone from out of town? out the country? Out of their mind?

Ok now everyone turn around and wave to everyone on the dock, cause you're never going to see them again.

Here is Ginger our alligator, but keep your hands in the boat because Ginger snaps.

Here we are at the end and we have a dock on the left and a dock on the right, which we call a paradox.

The scene where the rhino is chasing the natives up the pole, either way they'll get the point in the end.
 

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