Well, it turns out there's a loophole. The district says they won't give the paperwork to the committee for consideration for a special school, because they have a spot in what they consider to be a suitable school for him. If we don't enroll him in that school, they won't sign off on the paperwork. BUT, we can apply to the special school without the district and the SPECIAL school can submit the paperwork for consideration. We went to both the school the district is pushing AND the special school. The regular one is a really nice school, and 2 years ago it might have been fantastic. But he's been through too much now and needs more help than they have...they have one teacher for his grade who basically has a masters in education. That's pretty much the extent of what they have to offer. That and the principal said there's a boy in 6th grade who just got there recently and was bullied at his old school because he is gay and he wears nail polish and such...the kids accept him and include him. Which is great...but it's one thing to accept a kid who dresses differently...it's a whole new ball game to accept a kid who cries because his pen is out of ink or he doesn't know where to look for his notebook, or who has an outburst and screams at you because you accidentally bumped into him trying to get your coat because he has been bullied so much that the only explanation he has for it is that you are shoving him on purpose. And if we were looking for a school for DD, that would be the place we would go, far away as it is. We walked away yesterday impressed with the school, but not convinced it was right for DS. Then this morning we went to the special school and OMG it's AMAZING. It's everything we would have asked for if we had known how to make a perfect school for him. Yesterday, he had his therapy and one of the things they did was to make a sort of wishlist for what his ideal school would look like. Ideally, it would be quiet but not scary quiet...he can't stand noise in the classroom. (Or at home...he freaked out when DH took me to work Wednesday night because it was TOO quiet and it scared him) He would like a place in the classroom not next to anyone else...where he won't be bothered by noise from other kids or someone being too close to him or touching him. These classrooms are pretty large, have the desks set apart so that they all have their individual space, all stimulation is removed....artwork and anything eye-catching is in the back of the room so the kids can't be distracted by it. He wants to know exactly how the day is set up...a list where he can see what's going to happen when. They have that in every classroom and they make sure that if that's the Friday schedule today, that will be the Friday schedule EVERY Friday. They also have specific areas of the playground dedicated to certain activities, each activity is monitored by a teacher to make sure rules are followed, they even have squares painted and numbered for the waiting lines so they know exactly when their turn will be for an activity and no one can cut in line. They leave doors open so that if someone has a meltdown, one of the specialists can hear it and go get the kid out of the classroom to talk to them and find out what is wrong. (We didn't get to see the gym because one of the boys had "gotten really mad" and the teacher was talking with him) They have a room where kids can go when they get overwhelmed and need to calm down, and there's ALWAYS an adult available to talk to them if they need it. The principal was describing how they do things and WHY and it was like he was talking specifically about DS....like he knew him, even though they've never met. They also have special programs there to teach them skills they need...like there's a program for kids who have a hard time expressing themselves with words so they can have an outlet. They also have someone available for parents to help them in dealing with situations at home...to learn to make changes to the home situation that will help the child. It's just...it sounds perfect. And the principal said from what we said, it sounds like a good place for him and he doesn't think the committee will refuse his application. Normally they would get 6 weeks to look everything over, but we have urgency, so hopefully it will go faster. Such a relief!
They turned down a very talented person, who is also a big fan of Disney. IDIOTS. 
