The Chit Chat Chit Chat Thread

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
Speaking from experience, it sounds more like he is doing it to hurt @catmom46 . It's not so much that he is interested in what's best for her, but he knows that taking his daughter away from her mother will hurt her mother, and that's what he wants. It's spite. He doesn't really care that his daughter pays the price for it as long as he gets his revenge. My dad was the same way. He told my mom at one point he wanted nothing to do with us kids, he didn't want us, and she needed to get out and take us with her....so she did. And then as soon as they were doing custody arrangements, he decided to have us as much as he was allowed because he knew that's what would hurt my mom the most...she was worried about our welfare when we were with him, so she'd be sitting at home worrying the whole time we were gone. It changed pretty quickly during the first summer because he had summer custody and when the reality of arranging babysitters, and entertaining a 6 and 7 year old on his own and feeding us and all those other pesky parenting obligations became clear to him, suddenly it wasn't worth it to him and he never took us for a summer again. He didn't even make it through the whole first summer. But it's a spite thing that will hopefully die down in time once Mr. Donkey has cooled off a bit and realizes it's not always convenient to be a parent.
Agree with you, I get the same vibe from Mr. Donkey with the descriptions @catmom46 gave.
 

Cesar R M

Well-Known Member
My husband called me once and started with "Don't freak out" which of course made me instantly freak out. He had been driving to work on the interstate and a semi went to change lanes and didn't see him. Fortunately the semi was right along side, so he ended up just pushing hubby's car sideways and it only did a bit of damage to the driver's side back door, but no one was injured. So he calls me and says "Don't freak out. I was in an accident, but I'm fine." I told him next time to please lead with "I'm fine." DS was 6 I think, and since his door needed to be replaced, he asked if he could have a blue one (our car is red) and hubby said that might not look very nice...so he said red was ok, but could it maybe have blue flames on it. rofl
bests excuse ever for pimpin' up the car! :hilarious:
 

catmom46

Well-Known Member
Good morning! I'm all prepared for the worst. The map still shows us close to the northern edge of the worst. It could still go either way for us:banghead::banghead::banghead: I'm hoping for 4-6 inches of carp. Just enough for my boys to make money and not enough to screw things up too badly.

Sending pixie dust your way!!!

tink_gif_2.gif
 

catmom46

Well-Known Member
Speaking from experience, it sounds more like he is doing it to hurt @catmom46 . It's not so much that he is interested in what's best for her, but he knows that taking his daughter away from her mother will hurt her mother, and that's what he wants. It's spite. He doesn't really care that his daughter pays the price for it as long as he gets his revenge. My dad was the same way. He told my mom at one point he wanted nothing to do with us kids, he didn't want us, and she needed to get out and take us with her....so she did. And then as soon as they were doing custody arrangements, he decided to have us as much as he was allowed because he knew that's what would hurt my mom the most...she was worried about our welfare when we were with him, so she'd be sitting at home worrying the whole time we were gone. It changed pretty quickly during the first summer because he had summer custody and when the reality of arranging babysitters, and entertaining a 6 and 7 year old on his own and feeding us and all those other pesky parenting obligations became clear to him, suddenly it wasn't worth it to him and he never took us for a summer again. He didn't even make it through the whole first summer. But it's a spite thing that will hopefully die down in time once Mr. Donkey has cooled off a bit and realizes it's not always convenient to be a parent.

Actually, Mr. Donkey is dedicated to taking care of our daughter, but I agree he's acting out of spite, which I'm sure our daughter has picked up on the past several months. And he's convinced himself that he's only looking out for her best interest by trying to limit the time she spends with me. The whole accusation of me getting her sick is an example of his attempts to alienate her from me. I just want him to stop playing the blame game and learn to deal with his anger in a healthy way.
 

catmom46

Well-Known Member
He basically is a drama king and he tries to manipulate us into doing what he wants and then he has a meltdown when it doesn't work. He's enjoyed several days of staying home from school and being pampered....getting to eat his favorite foods just so he'll eat SOMETHING, and getting to play on the computer all day...so it's natural that even though he's feeling better, he wants that pampering to continue. So I went to wake the kids up for school and he complained that he didn't want to get up. And I did the "Sorry, kiddo, but you need to get dressed" thing and he said he didn't want to go to school. I said I know, and I didn't particularly want to be up, but sometimes we have to do things we'd rather not do. So then he starts crying and shouting "ow ow ow" and saying the light is too bright. But there was no light on in his room at all. The only light was in the hallway, and that had been on since before he woke up, so the sudden trouble with the lights was nonsense and obviously just him trying to manipulate me. So I ended up having to go into his room and literally dress him like I would dress a baby...he lay there and screamed the whole time. I warned him that if I had to carry him downstairs, he'd most likely get hurt in the process, so he'd better get up and walk himself, and he refused. Then I had to pick him up and carry him out of his room because he still wouldn't get up. Finally we got to the stairs with him screaming his fool head off and he kicked up a REAL fuss and I gave him the opportunity once again to go on his own steam and when he wouldn't, I started counting. I got to 2 and he decided he'd better move. But since we had a similar meltdown on the weekend because he wanted something special for lunch but screamed at me because I hadn't been to the store yet, daddy had threatened then that he would be without computer or ipad and even soccer was on the table to be taken away, as all of that's a privilege for well behaved children. So he had already been warned once and then daddy had a talk with him about it and decided NOT to take away those privileges with the understanding that he would be better behaved. So since he broke that deal, I told him that we'll be having a conversation all three of us when daddy gets home and we will decide then on how long of a ban it will be. But until he learns to listen and not scream at me, he'll have a very boring life.

Your son and my daughter have similar meltdowns. :banghead:
 

Figgy1

Well-Known Member
Thanks, Figgy! I did indeed sleep a little better last night...! :)

As always, of course...! :D
But, then I woke up to the "nightmare" fact that, if this is gout (I've never been officially diagnosed, but, it fits every symptom description I have found), l'm gonna' hafta' cut back quite a bit on both, and other things... :cry: :arghh: :cry: :arghh: :cry:
As much as I love my beer and bacon, I figure I much prefer bein' ambulatory for as much of the rest of my life as possible...! ;)
Good luck being able to go to Disney and elsewhere with my boys beats bacon any day!
 

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