Yelling at Your Kids at Disney

[Canuckgirl78]

Simply block out a 2-hour portion of your day, search for the thread with these words in the title: "Unmagical Day at the Magic Kingdom," and enjoy.

So, I just opened the link to see this KatieBug post, and was completely appalled and entertained after just starting to READ her post! I have a feeling I won't get much done today at work!!!

 

[Bender123]

We plan to let our 14 and (almost 12) yo DSs go off on their own for a bit at the parks if they want. They both have phones and the 14 yo is bigger than my DH. I remember when I was 14 my parents would drop me and my friends of at 6 Flags and we'd be there for the whole day by ourselves. At some point, my kids needs to start doing some things on their own. But what's good for my kids may not work for others.

Its so worth it. Getting time apart at WDW when you have a tween/teen makes the trip much more fun...Its a great way to show some respect for their desire to spread their wings and it keeps your sanity in check, as well...getting a moody teen at Disney can be a nightmare. We found that it was a fantastic experience that really let the girls make the trip their own.

 

[Darth Figment]

I hear those dreadful time outs work really well, (Sarcastically )

 

[Bullseye1967]

I agree. If you cannot trust a 12 or 14 year old to wander around WS for an hour or so without getting into trouble, then you've not done your job as a parent. Do you let them go to a movie unaccompanied? Do they go to the mall without you? Aren't 14 year olds babysitting? I was riding my horse in the canyons above LA without a parent well before the age of 12. And we rode our bikes to the Peninsula Center before that age too.

When we had APs our 14 and 16 yr olds did their own thing when we went to the parks. We never had a problem with it and we went a couple times a week. Sometimes we were in different parks than them.

 

[NelleBelle]

When we had APs our 14 and 16 yr olds did their own thing when we went to the parks. We never had a problem with it and we went a couple times a week. Sometimes we were in different parks than them.

My 14yo DS begged to stay on-site this trip so that if he needed to sleep in, he and his buddy (who is also 14) could meet up with us at the parks when they wake up. We trust them enough that they know how to catch the bus/boat to the parks and I'll meet them at the front gate. That was our deciding factor in staying on-site--giving them some freedom as well as letting those go back to swim with the grandmas.

 

[Nick Pappagiorgio]

True story: My parents had decided on the name Madison, but when we went while my mom was pregnant every girl getting yelled at was named Madison. They threw out the name after that trip.

 

[thomas998]

So, as I'm typing this, I'm getting ready to leave for my last day at Disney world, and I'll be fair when I say that some of the guests are horrible. But, the ones that are the most annoying and the most attention grabbing are the parents that yell at there kids.

Kid has some sort of issue.
Parent gets a bit snappy.
Kid cries.
Parent begins to yell.

That's how it works. Basically, these people are making a bigger fuss than their kids are. I can get past a kid crying. It happens. But I'm not use to seeing fully-grown men and women yell at their kids because they're crying. I mean, they don't know any better? It's like telling a dog not to eat your food. Your dog doesn't know what you're saying, thus he/she doesn't know any better.

Once, we were heading out for The Country Bear Jamboree, which was getting ready to begin. As I walked in, there was a little kid walking out, probably way to young to know she was astray from her mother. Suddenly, a women jumps in front of the door, firmly grabs the girl by the arm, and yells, "Do not run off like that! You almost gave me stroke!" Ok, I see two things wrong with this.

1. Your kid walked off, that's scary, but did it really almost give you stroke?
2. A kid walking is not the attention of the spotlight. This women yelling at her kid so everyone can hear at the entrance to a ride, blocking everyone from entering, is stealing the spotlight.

As we were walking into the Haunted Mansion, I heard two voices. I hear a young kid say, "Is The Haunted Mansion going to be scary?" Following that was a adult, female voice saying, "It's not going to be scary." In all honesty, I think she knew that it was going to be scary for a younger kid. I really think she just wanted to ride it. My mother also told me about one kid who was literally bawling in the stretching room, and the parents still wanted to ride. For those of you who don't know, there is an exit in the stretching room, and it is made for kids who are too scared. It's pretty visible, too. XD

Sorry but you don't have all the facts on why a parent is yelling to be judging whether it was appropriate or not. I personally try not to yell or dress down my kids in public or in front of other people because they don't need the added embarrassment of being scolded in view of others anymore than an employee needs to be told he screwed up or is fired in front of everyone he/she works with. However there are certainly exceptions with some kids. Some kids will try to manipulate a situation with tears. I had a daughter that for whatever reason went through a period where she would pretty much cry on demand but oddly enough she would only do it when other people were present. She was basically trying to use the tears for force us to give in to whatever she was asking for. The only solution that worked to stop that habbit was explaining that if she did it again we wouldn't wait until we were home or in the car to deal with her it would be right there in front of everyone... Needless to say she didn't seem to think we meant it until she tried the little stunt again and was scolded in a way that insured others heard and she got the added embarrassment heaped onto herself... it also put and end to those attempts at manipulation with the waterworks. So maybe just maybe you are seeing the same thing happen at Disney. You just don't know.

The kid that ran off might have made that a habit and being called out on it publicly in a loud way might have sent enough of a message to him that he never did it again. As for stealing the spotlight... sorry the spotlight doesn't happen until the show starts, there is no spotlight in the queue.

 

[Pixieish]

So, as I'm typing this, I'm getting ready to leave for my last day at Disney world, and I'll be fair when I say that some of the guests are horrible. But, the ones that are the most annoying and the most attention grabbing are the parents that yell at there kids.

Kid has some sort of issue.
Parent gets a bit snappy.
Kid cries.
Parent begins to yell.

That's how it works. Basically, these people are making a bigger fuss than their kids are. I can get past a kid crying. It happens. But I'm not use to seeing fully-grown men and women yell at their kids because they're crying. I mean, they don't know any better? It's like telling a dog not to eat your food. Your dog doesn't know what you're saying, thus he/she doesn't know any better.

Once, we were heading out for The Country Bear Jamboree, which was getting ready to begin. As I walked in, there was a little kid walking out, probably way to young to know she was astray from her mother. Suddenly, a women jumps in front of the door, firmly grabs the girl by the arm, and yells, "Do not run off like that! You almost gave me stroke!" Ok, I see two things wrong with this.

1. Your kid walked off, that's scary, but did it really almost give you stroke?
2. A kid walking is not the attention of the spotlight. This women yelling at her kid so everyone can hear at the entrance to a ride, blocking everyone from entering, is stealing the spotlight.

As we were walking into the Haunted Mansion, I heard two voices. I hear a young kid say, "Is The Haunted Mansion going to be scary?" Following that was a adult, female voice saying, "It's not going to be scary." In all honesty, I think she knew that it was going to be scary for a younger kid. I really think she just wanted to ride it. My mother also told me about one kid who was literally bawling in the stretching room, and the parents still wanted to ride. For those of you who don't know, there is an exit in the stretching room, and it is made for kids who are too scared. It's pretty visible, too. XD

I can totally understand a parent freaking out because their kid took off like you mentioned...which is exactly why when we took our 2 sons for the first time (they were 2 1/2 and 7 and are both on the autism spectrum), we went over my TRAVEL RULES (no seat kicking, ask to go potty, etc.), and PARK RULES (hold hands, if you get separated look for a cast member, etc.) for like a month before our trip. Second trip - youngest is now 4 1/2 and wants to walk like big brother instead of sitting in the stroller. HE WAS A RUNNER. He found it hilarious (and still does) to take off and hide. So...just outside of HS at 9:30am...he decides he doesn't want to sit in the stroller. We say "Fine, but you have to hold hands." He didn't want to. Because of 1) his status as a notorious runner and 2) his autism and severe speech delay, we brought a harness and leash with us "just in case". So, his choices were 1) Hold Hands. 2) Wear the harness and leash. 3) Stay in the stoller. He decided to stand his ground - God love him, at least he knows what he wants - and the temper tantrum began. We tried to reason with him, and this resulted in a full-out, flailing on the ground, kicking and screaming melt-down. Guess how we reacted...

We did nothing. We sat down on the edge of where Mike and Sully were in all their leafy glory and let him have at it. There were whispers, there were looks. But guess what? At the end of the day, he didn't get punished for being a kid or for having behavioral stuff that he can't help. He didn't get yelled at. He was allowed to do what he needed to do, and in the end he made the right choice. 10 minutes later - we all entered the park with him holding my hand. We also used the disruption in our regular schedule at home to finally potty train this same kid at Disney World (he was uber stubborn about potty training at home) - it worked like a charm.

Now...parents just being jerks and yelling at their kids who are overtired, thirsty, or hungry and just aren't able to verbalize their needs...THOSE people need a smack.

I run a Disney FB group and the first thing I tell all first-time-to-Disney parents is to pay attention to their kids' needs. Don't forget how small their tummies are and that they need to eat often (I had a stroller with pockets he could reach that I kept filled with snacks), hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, and either let them sleep in their stroller or go back to the room for an afternoon nap if the kiddos still need naps.

I've also been known to whisper 3 words to my kids when they seem to be on the verge of being bratty..."in-room babysitter". Stops them in their tracks every time.

Now, our boys are almost 7 and 12, they've each been to Disney 3 times (we live in New England), and the last trip I was approached after landing in Florida by a woman who - with a look of shock on her face - said "I had NO IDEA you had two kids with you!!!"

 

[ninjaprincesst]

Agreed, there is a huge difference between the parent yelling at a child to discourage running off on their own again vs. the parent that gets upset and yells at their child because the child is having an end of day melt down. The trip may be costly and once in a lifetime but you need to know your child's limits when exhausted. One is a teaching event for the child and the other should be a teaching event for the parent.

The teaching event for the parent should be all this melt down stuff is a load of crap, being hungry or tired is not an excuse to throw a temper tantrum, and that is what they are temper tantrums not melt downs, and their only excuse for it is being a brat. If parents took care of it properly the first temper tantrum, the kid would not do it again. My daughter has been to Disney World at least once a year every year since she was 2 and she is 18 now, never one tantrum, and we do the parks from rope drop until close. Yes she was tired, but the tired was not an excuse for being a brat.

 

[eliza61nyc]

We did nothing. We sat down on the edge of where Mike and Sully were in all their leafy glory and let him have at it. There were whispers, there were looks. But guess what? At the end of the day, he didn't get punished for being a kid or for having behavioral stuff that he can't help. He didn't get yelled at. He was allowed to do what he needed to do, and in the end he made the right choice. 10 minutes later - we all entered the park with him holding my hand. We also used the disruption in our regular schedule at home to finally potty train this same kid at Disney World (he was uber stubborn about potty training at home) - it worked like a charm.

Now...parents just being jerks and yelling at their kids who are overtired, thirsty, or hungry and just aren't able to verbalize their needs...THOSE people need a smack.

I run a Disney FB group and the first thing I tell all first-time-to-Disney parents is to pay attention to their kids' needs. Don't forget how small their tummies are and that they need to eat often (I had a stroller with pockets he could reach that I kept filled with snacks), hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, and either let them sleep in their stroller or go back to the room for an afternoon nap if the kiddos still need naps.

I've also been known to whisper 3 words to my kids when they seem to be on the verge of being bratty..."in-room babysitter". Stops them in their tracks every time.

!"

That works like a charm because you are not upset about it but what happens if this scenario happens inside a restaurant? Now it still may work like a charm but unfortunately the rest of the diners have to endure it.

yes kids do have issues verbalizing their condition but unfortunately the world does not and should not revolve around our little darlings. I get it, kids get overtired but if you've got an overtired kid in the hall of presidents having a freaky deaky meltdown, you just can't "let them go at it". it's totally rude to the other 100 guest who are there.

now I'm from the old school. We did not bring our kids to adult movies, we did not bring our kids to upscale restaurants until they were well within age where they could control their emotions. when our kids began to melt down at church we got up and took them out.

I think one of the issues with disney is not so much of how parents "parent" but the fact that Disney is so darn expensive and for many people it's a once in a life time or at minimum once every 5-10 year type of trip. so you often get parents who feel they "have" to get everything done or it won't happen.

 

[Pixieish]

That works like a charm because you are not upset about it but what happens if this scenario happens inside a restaurant? Now it still may work like a charm but unfortunately the rest of the diners have to endure it.

yes kids do have issues verbalizing their condition but unfortunately the world does not and should not revolve around our little darlings. I get it, kids get overtired but if you've got an overtired kid in the hall of presidents having a freaky deaky meltdown, you just can't "let them go at it". it's totally rude to the other 100 guest who are there.

now I'm from the old school. We did not bring our kids to adult movies, we did not bring our kids to upscale restaurants until they were well within age where they could control their emotions. when our kids began to melt down at church we got up and took them out.

I think one of the issues with disney is not so much of how parents "parent" but the fact that Disney is so darn expensive and for many people it's a once in a life time or at minimum once every 5-10 year type of trip. so you often get parents who feel they "have" to get everything done or it won't happen.

I'm pretty old school too. We don't make a big deal out of boo-boos, and at home we completely ignore temper tantrums as to not encourage that behavior. Had that happened inside a restaurant or store, I would have carried him out. Been there, done that - about a million times. We've also left plenty of the live shows at Disney. He just can't handle them yet (I think it's the noise inside a closed area). We give one of the shows a shot each trip, but we don't press the matter. If he's not interested once the show starts, we leave before it escalates and don't try again until our next trip (I have yet to see a live indoor show at Disney since we had kids). With both of our sons being on the autism spectrum, I've learned to try to see around corners whenever we go anywhere so that we avoid potential behavioral problems - whether the potential issues are autism related or just kid related.

My point is that people need to more closely watch their kids and pay attention to their needs. Lots of the crying and tantrums can be headed off at the pass if you are prepared and watching for signs of them. The same could be said for adults - eating and drinking regularly while in the parks is more important at Disney than when you aren't walking over 10 miles a day, and a fed and hydrated person is less apt to go off the deep end screaming.

We've had 2 incidents of crying/meltdowns in 25 days at Disney with the kiddos - the one mentioned above, and on the last day of one trip, the same kiddo saw Dumbo while we were all on Speedway for our last ride before our flight, so of course he wanted to go on and freaked when we couldn't. (Stupid me didn't realize you could actually SEE Dumbo while riding Speedway, so that was totally my fault.)

EDIT: The only reason I let him have at it when I did is because we were outside and hadn't even entered the park yet. Had we been inside the park, we would have gone back to the parking lot.

 

[eliza61nyc]

I'm pretty old school too. We don't make a big deal out of boo-boos, and at home we completely ignore temper tantrums as to not encourage that behavior. Had that happened inside a restaurant or store, I would have carried him out. Been there, done that - about a million times. We've also left plenty of the live shows at Disney. He just can't handle them yet (I think it's the noise inside a closed area). We give one of the shows a shot each trip, but we don't press the matter. If he's not interested once the show starts, we leave before it escalates and don't try again until our next trip (I have yet to see a live indoor show at Disney since we had kids). With both of our sons being on the autism spectrum, I've learned to try to see around corners whenever we go anywhere so that we avoid potential behavioral problems - whether the potential issues are autism related or just kid related.

My point is that people need to more closely watch their kids and pay attention to their needs. Lots of the crying and tantrums can be headed off at the pass if you are prepared and watching for signs of them. The same could be said for adults - eating and drinking regularly while in the parks is more important at Disney than when you aren't walking over 10 miles a day, and a fed and hydrated person is less apt to go off the deep end screaming.

We've had 2 incidents of crying/meltdowns in 25 days at Disney with the kiddos - the one mentioned above, and on the last day of one trip, the same kiddo saw Dumbo while we were all on Speedway for our last ride before our flight, so of course he wanted to go on and freaked when we couldn't. (Stupid me didn't realize you could actually SEE Dumbo while riding Speedway, so that was totally my fault.)

EDIT: The only reason I let him have at it when I did is because we were outside and hadn't even entered the park yet. Had we been inside the park, we would have gone back to the parking lot.

I should apologize Cheryl, I went to see suburbicon this weekend and a mom had 2 babies maybe 3 & 5 in a 830 movie. Jeez louise. first the poor kids are probably going to have nightmares for the week as it was a very violent movie and second darn thing didn't start until 9. when someone suggested this might not be the movie to be at she said she had already purchased the tickets and the sitter evidently cancelled.

Needless to say, poor kids got bored really quick, she spent 30 minutes trying to entertain/watch the movie and only left when folks started grumbling.

Like you I stop counting the number of half eaten meals, half looked at shows and half attended fireworks I didn't get a chance to see.
LOL my kids could not handle the fireworks. illuminations was ok but the ones at the MK sent them into a panic.

 

[Pixieish]

I should apologize Cheryl, I went to see suburbicon this weekend and a mom had 2 babies maybe 3 & 5 in a 830 movie. Jeez louise. first the poor kids are probably going to have nightmares for the week as it was a very violent movie and second darn thing didn't start until 9. when someone suggested this might not be the movie to be at she said she had already purchased the tickets and the sitter evidently cancelled.

Needless to say, poor kids got bored really quick, she spent 30 minutes trying to entertain/watch the movie and only left when folks started grumbling.

Like you I stop counting the number of half eaten meals, half looked at shows and half attended fireworks I didn't get a chance to see.
LOL my kids could not handle the fireworks. illuminations was ok but the ones at the MK sent them into a panic.

It AMAZES me the things some parents put their kids through. We're friends with a divorced dad who's ex regularly drops their kid in his lap so she can go to concerts that are out of state and yet she keeps suing him for more child support. *facepalm*

We're REALLY lucky with our 2 boys...other than a severe speech delay in our youngest and a MAJOR obsession with video games and Sonic the Hedgehog in our oldest (which makes for some social awkwardness), you'd really never know they're autistic. They absolutely thrive on the overstimulation Disney offers - which isn't always the case for kiddos with autism, many find it very overwhelming. Our youngest slept through Fantasmic in its entirety! I really think there's an echo or some other sound factor to do with the indoor shows that bothers him as volume certainly isn't the issue.

 

[Pixieish]

I should apologize Cheryl, I went to see suburbicon this weekend and a mom had 2 babies maybe 3 & 5 in a 830 movie. Jeez louise. first the poor kids are probably going to have nightmares for the week as it was a very violent movie and second darn thing didn't start until 9. when someone suggested this might not be the movie to be at she said she had already purchased the tickets and the sitter evidently cancelled.

Needless to say, poor kids got bored really quick, she spent 30 minutes trying to entertain/watch the movie and only left when folks started grumbling.

Like you I stop counting the number of half eaten meals, half looked at shows and half attended fireworks I didn't get a chance to see.
LOL my kids could not handle the fireworks. illuminations was ok but the ones at the MK sent them into a panic.

No worries about the misunderstanding...it's easy when we don't have tone of voice and/or body language to read along with text.