Why Men Are Just Happier People

SpongeScott

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Why Men Are Just Happier People....

What do you expect from such simple creatures?


Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's
just too icky.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood, ALL the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don't have to shave below your neck.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.
 

Maria

New Member
....and once again, I managed to find this thread and be the first woman to post in it! :lol:


Originally posted by sandjhooker
Why Men Are Just Happier People....

1.-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
2.-Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
3.-One mood, ALL the time.
4.-You can open all your own jars.
5.-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
6.-You don't have to shave below your neck.
7.-Your belly usually hides your big hips.
8.-One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
9.-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.


1.-Tell that to "Mightyduck"!
2.-But you guys pay for the dress too!
3.-Yeah right!
4.-We girls, have you guys to open ours...
5.-How boring!
6.-Please do so...
7.-And that is a good thing?
8.-Once again, how boring!
9.-Unless we girls say that it hurts us when kissing... right girls?

:p :p
 

The Mom

Moderator
Premium Member
ALMOST true. ;) When we travel, my husband ALWAYS has more "stuff" than I do. And as far as the nuts and bolts (or anything that is designed with threads) just remember, "Righty tighty, lefty loosey." (unless you run across something that is reverse or cross threaded...doesn't happen very often)
 

SpongeScott

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that no species with cooties are allowed to respond to the thread, so no one read Maria's, Mom's, or Christy's repsonses. :D
 

tenchu

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by sandjhooker
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that no species with cooties are allowed to respond to the thread, so no one read Maria's, Mom's, or Christy's repsonses. :D

Chromosomally disadvantaged beings.

We got a Y! neener neener neener! :lol:
 

MouseMadness

Well-Known Member
Originally posted by sandjhooker
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that no species with cooties are allowed to respond to the thread, so no one read Maria's, Mom's, or Christy's repsonses. :D

*fills seven seas lagoon with cooties and throws scott in*
 

GenerationX

Well-Known Member
What about our keen sense of selective hearing?

She says: "Hey sweetie, the garbage in the kitchen is full and something in there really stinks. Could you take it out to the garage when you get a chance? I know the game is on at 7:00, so if you could get it before then, I'd really appreciate it."

We hear: "Hmmm msaf, msdfm asd sf asff ooiq asdf qiciws soi as asdfkj mvvowwe. Cwefw fw is sfa sf iooos wxv xiw wz ffasf asf lllmvwwv avv oiuq cuooywy? I asdsd asf game is on at 7:00, asdffs asoiwr asfoiq, itr qqq laoiu uouq."
 

SpongeScott

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Originally posted by MouseMadness
Unless I'm counting wrong, isn't #8 the car mechanic one? Now, if you'd said seven or nine, it would make sense.
I edited it--now it's clear what #8 is. AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!
 

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