I don't know if you mentioned before who does the cooking. I would guess that he considers it your job. When it gets dinner time an he asks what your having you just say, "You know, I don't feel like cooking tonight, so you get whatever you want and I'll pick something easy for myself". Do that a few more times and the message might get through.
I have to say that, I did my share. I did some cooking about 50% of it. Closer to 90% by the end. I did my own laundry, I mowed the lawn and trimmed the hedges, built storage sheds, kept our cars running (at one point there were 4 of them. Mine, my wife's and my daughters) and had a full time job. For 12 years I even ran our Nursing home that was purchased for my Registered Nurse Wife because she wanted her own business, then deserted it after 2 years because it was to much stress. So that left me to deal with it! She pursued a Doctorate in Gerontology* at U-Mass Boston for two years renting an apartment and spending over 90 Grand, leaving me to see our youngest daughter finish high school and help her partially deal with feeling that her mother left her just when she needed her most. She hasn't come to terms with that situation yet. I fixed plumbing problems and electrical ones as well, wallpapered and did some flooring installation and my wife left anyway because she said I was too controlling. Ironic! It's amazing how many variations that people are willing to accept. I did for many, many years and even though I loved my wife and had empathy for her shaky mental condition, the weight of the world came off my shoulders the day she walked out to find the life she was looking for, whatever that was. She just continued a downward spiral for the next 16 years before passing from a stroke. I don't directly blame her for her behavior because of her problems, but I know that my life improved greatly when I no longer was allowed to try and help. I know that sounds terrible, but I have to say factual. You don't have to judge me, I do that all the time for myself.
Yes, I do the cooking. There are days when I just say I'm not doing it, and we generally order in on those days. We agreed before we got married that if one of us wasn't working, that one would do the majority of the household chores, and I think it just kind of became default because I didn't have a job when we first moved into this house. I only work 12-15 hours a week, so it's not a huge amount, but too much to do that PLUS ALL of the other chores. He does do all the driving...until I get my license. But I think once I do, we're going to have to renegotiate some stuff. You obviously did a lot. I wish my husband did at least the lawn stuff. I think you're right that he considers it my job because if I don't do it, it just doesn't get done. But I'd have to work non-stop to keep up with everything. I'd never get any time for myself. So some things just don't get done regularly.
Yes, I do the cooking. There are days when I just say I'm not doing it, and we generally order in on those days. We agreed before we got married that if one of us wasn't working, that one would do the majority of the household chores, and I think it just kind of became default because I didn't have a job when we first moved into this house. I only work 12-15 hours a week, so it's not a huge amount, but too much to do that PLUS ALL of the other chores. He does do all the driving...until I get my license. But I think once I do, we're going to have to renegotiate some stuff. You obviously did a lot. I wish my husband did at least the lawn stuff. I think you're right that he considers it my job because if I don't do it, it just doesn't get done. But I'd have to work non-stop to keep up with everything. I'd never get any time for myself. So some things just don't get done regularly.
Just my two cents, renegotiate. It sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick. Do your kids have chores at all? My sister and I had chores starting small and then getting more responsibility as we grew up. In the summer we were expected to do more since we didn’t have school work.
Just my two cents, renegotiate. It sounds like you are getting the short end of the stick. Do your kids have chores at all? My sister and I had chores starting small and then getting more responsibility as we grew up. In the summer we were expected to do more since we didn’t have school work.
Yes, they do have chores, though here's the kicker. The ONE chore I told my husband I HATE, and he agreed to do, no matter who was working full time or whatever, was the dishes. This past year, he decided the kids were old enough to do chores, and gave them the chore of dishes. So he eliminated his one chore without lightening my load at all. But E hates the dishes for the same reason I do, so she asked if she could be reassigned. She now helps me cook most nights. BUT, when he gave them the chores, he told them they didn't have to do them in the school vacations, because that's their time off. I'm definitely getting the short end of the stick.
E graduated from the English program at school. Starting next year all her lessons will be in Dutch. She's at the gala tonight, hopefully having a great time with her friends.
We had some storms last night and quite a bit of rain. Sounds like we got the easier end of it, but there were a few different tornado warnings in southern Wisconsin. Iowa had several tornadoes.
We had some storms last night and quite a bit of rain. Sounds like we got the easier end of it, but there were a few different tornado warnings in southern Wisconsin. Iowa had several tornadoes.
I just watched a CBC video of this news report. Are tornadoes somewhat common, or are they rare, in Canada? Asking only because I don't recall the last time I even heard about tornadoes up there. (I hope the people will be o.k., but there were some reports of injuries.)
I hope it's not too bad! We have major flooding over here. An entire village was washed away in Germany....59 dead so far, a bridge washed away in the South of the Netherlands. They are reinforcing d/y/k/s here to prevent the rivers from overflowing as the water rises and flows North. I guess the water level rose so quickly that people were stuck in their houses and couldn't open the doors to get out, so they drowned inside their houses.
Hi guys! I am hoping to pass the time on this thread. I dropped my daughter's car at a Volkswagen repair shop. Now I have walked two blocks to the train station in Bradley Beach. I've settled on a bench in the shade
The guy who will work on my daughter's car won't bring it into the bay and begin until 1pm. Now I have transferred to a park bench in Ocean Grove...overlooking The Great Auditorium...
The guy who will work on my daughter's car won't bring it into the bay and begin until 1pm. Now I have transferred to a park bench in Ocean Grove...overlooking The Great Auditorium...View attachment 572626
I just watched a CBC video of this news report. Are tornadoes somewhat common, or are they rare, in Canada? Asking only because I don't recall the last time I even heard about tornadoes up there. (I hope the people will be o.k., but there were some reports of injuries.)
