When people just won't cooperate with plans

[rufio]

My brother is visiting for a week and we're spending 5 days at Disney World because he received a 5 day ticket for Christmas. His friend is also coming to join us for 3 days starting this Friday. They asked me to plan what I could since I live here and go often. Over a month ago I talked to both of them and told her she needed to buy her ticket (gave her the link to a certain website with slightly discounted prices) and send me the info so I could link her to the FP+ I had made for my brother and I (some hard to get including Frozen and the Mine Train).

Here we are two days away from her first Disney day and she still hasn't given me the info. I found out she bought her ticket yesterday through DisneyWorld.com so I've now attempted to link her to my friends and family but she hasn't accepted yet. What I'm trying to say is - she has zero fastpasses two days in advance. I have the distinct feeling that I will end up having to give her my Magic Band so that she can do rides while I stand outside. Has anyone else ever attempted to plan and it turned out like this? What did you end up doing?

 

[yensid67]

I can feel your pain! But the first part of me wanted to say, "Oh well, she will not get on any rides with us! " and leave her wallow in her own self destruction. It's not like you haven't told her months ago to buy her ticket. If she is a procrastinator, she thinks that buying her ticket just 3 days before her first Disney day is fine! Well I say let her have a rude awakening AND DON'T YOU GIVE UP YOUR FP's FOR HER PROCRASTINATION! You told her. Now my second thought was to TRY to get her linked in and get her FP's for the ones you have. But if you can't, and to avoid any discord at Disney, I would get what FP's you can when you get her ticket info. I would contact her ASAP and just let her know that if the ticket isn't linked in with yours, then there is a BIG chance that she will be standing outside of the attractions waiting for you and your brother! MAYBE that will sink in!? But If you have done that and she still doesn't offer her ticket info, I would let your brother know, maybe he can intervene and get a response!? If not then just suck it up and do what you can do. Remember its Disney and NOTHING and NO BODY can ruin Disney! Hopefully next time this friend won't be coming along! (insert evil grin) When I plan a trip I always make a deadline for tickets so we can linked together and get FP's. Hope everything works out for you! BUT HAVE A GREAT TRIP ANYWAYS!

 

[rufio]

I can feel your pain! But the first part of me wanted to say, "Oh well, she will not get on any rides with us! " and leave her wallow in her own self destruction. It's not like you haven't told her months ago to buy her ticket. If she is a procrastinator, she thinks that buying her ticket just 3 days before her first Disney day is fine! Well I say let her have a rude awakening AND DON'T YOU GIVE UP YOUR FP's FOR HER PROCRASTINATION! You told her. Now my second thought was to TRY to get her linked in and get her FP's for the ones you have. But if you can't, and to avoid any discord at Disney, I would get what FP's you can when you get her ticket info. I would contact her ASAP and just let her know that if the ticket isn't linked in with yours, then there is a BIG chance that she will be standing outside of the attractions waiting for you and your brother! MAYBE that will sink in!? But If you have done that and she still doesn't offer her ticket info, I would let your brother know, maybe he can intervene and get a response!? If not then just suck it up and do what you can do. Remember its Disney and NOTHING and NO BODY can ruin Disney! Hopefully next time this friend won't be coming along! (insert evil grin) When I plan a trip I always make a deadline for tickets so we can linked together and get FP's. Hope everything works out for you! BUT HAVE A GREAT TRIP ANYWAYS!

On the one hand I totally agree with you and would love to make her wait outside while I ride with my brother! On the other hand, she hasn't been to Disney World since she was a small child and I get to go very often. Still, it's insanely frustrating to do all the planning and not get to ride with my brother, who has never been. Not to mention some of these rides are ones I don't usually get to do. (I live 30 minutes away and I've done Frozen once). My brother has texted her and asked her to accept the invite so I can start linking, but no progress has been made yet. I'm hoping I'll be able to get her linked up with most of them and that the CMs might take pity on us for some I KNOW I won't be able to link her to.

 

[Nemo14]

The whole concept of having to reserve ride times can be beyond comprehension for many people. I wouldn't let that spoil the precious gift of spending time together even if it means a little sacrifice on your part.
JMHO

 

[LeighM]

I wouldn't give up all my FPs for her since she hasn't listened to anything you tried to tell her. Especially Frozen, which you don't often get to experience. It's not fair to you to miss out on experiences with your brother as well. Once she gets there and has to wait a time or two then maybe she'll learn for next time. It almost reminds me of a friend of mine that knows I'm a Disney addict and asked me to help her with the trip. She didn't make dining reservations early, she didn't do FP ahead of time, and then later complained about the lines and bad food. Sorry, no sympathy from me. Some just have to learn for themselves I guess.

 

[yensid67]

OK, I had another thought....your brother has never been to Disney!? What I would do is let the chips fall where they may, because if she hasn't linked in now its going to be almost impossible for all 3 of you to get FP's together! I would make it the best you can and for your brother, I would plan a special family bonding trip for a week that will give you enough time to do all the things you want to do and show him a REAL DISNEY vacation!!!!

 

[contrariwise]

Have you been crystal clear with her? Some people take hints and some people have to be hit over the head with a sledge hammer. Say to her (whether phone, email or text) that you have the ability to skip the line at certain attractions IF and only IF you get the tickets linked well ahead of time. Say you were able to book these for you and your brother since those tickets are linked. Say you really want the three of you to be able to ride together, but that will be impossible on certain rides due to the nature of these prebooked rides. Say you don't want to pressure her, and if these things are not a priority to her, that's fine, but you want her to understand the repercussions. The reality is that she may be waiting in a gift shop while you and your brother ride, and you would hate that for her.

 

[correcaminos]

Okay relax a little. Truthfully not everyone likes to plan. When you get there, go to the concierge services at the resort and see if they can add her to your FPs. One person doing a FP is easier than multiples and they often will be able to find something that will work with most of the FP you have scheduled.

Just go with it and see what happens, hopefully things will be okay in the end and if she has to sit something out because of not have a FP, so be it, but don't stress yourself over this as it really isn't that big of a deal in the end. Forums here are great but sometimes people get the idea that everything needs to be done so far in advance. We have had fantastic trips with very little planning done

 

[Rob562]

I agree that you should make clear to her that without her cooperation you cannot guarantee that she'll be able to do 100% of everything you've already planned out, and then be done with it. Once you finally get linked to her you can add her to as much as you can, but anything you can't you shouldn't worry about. It's her own problem, not yours, and you shouldn't sacrifice your own trip and happiness to accommodate her.

I'm possibly facing a similar situation next year. We have a tentative trip planned with some friends from college. It was primarily myself, my bf and another couple that initially started chatting about the 4 of us going. Then a number of additional people in our immediate circle of college friends expressed interest in joining us. It may only end up being a group of 4-6 people (which will be a cinch for me to plan, since I'm often in groups that size), but it could also be as many as 12-14 people (a group size I've never planned for).

I've already decided that from the outset I will make it clear that I will give deadlines for certain actions/decisions (which for my own sanity I will artificially pad by a week or two), and if people do not act by them, any detriment to their trip is their problem. A knowing how the people in this particular group of friends operates, once we're on the trip if we establish meeting times for rides or meals and you miss them, you'll be left behind and can meet up with us at a later point. Sacrificing an hour of vacation time for the group while we wait for one or two stragglers who can't get moving in the morning (even the late morning) isn't fair to others.

-Rob

 

[Notes from Neverland]

We had a similar issue on a large family/friends trip. Despite all of our suggestions and guidance, people still procrastinated. The end result was they couldn't do everything. In the end, it worked out totally fine. They had a great time and since they were new visitors, really had no idea what they were missing out on.

 

[yensid67]

I agree that you should make clear to her that without her cooperation you cannot guarantee that she'll be able to do 100% of everything you've already planned out, and then be done with it. Once you finally get linked to her you can add her to as much as you can, but anything you can't you shouldn't worry about. It's her own problem, not yours, and you shouldn't sacrifice your own trip and happiness to accommodate her.

I'm possibly facing a similar situation next year. We have a tentative trip planned with some friends from college. It was primarily myself, my bf and another couple that initially started chatting about the 4 of us going. Then a number of additional people in our immediate circle of college friends expressed interest in joining us. It may only end up being a group of 4-6 people (which will be a cinch for me to plan, since I'm often in groups that size), but it could also be as many as 12-14 people (a group size I've never planned for).

I've already decided that from the outset I will make it clear that I will give deadlines for certain actions/decisions (which for my own sanity I will artificially pad by a week or two), and if people do not act by them, any detriment to their trip is their problem. A knowing how the people in this particular group of friends operates, once we're on the trip if we establish meeting times for rides or meals and you miss them, you'll be left behind and can meet up with us at a later point. Sacrificing an hour of vacation time for the group while we wait for one or two stragglers who can't get moving in the morning (even the late morning) isn't fair to others.

-Rob

A man after my own heart! That's exactly what I do! I usually make the plans and tell everyone that all your money is needed by a deadline and then that way I can purchase all the tickets and have them linked! OR make the plans and give them all the information to do it themselves and just hope that your plans meet somewhere in the middle! If not you all can plan to have a meal or two together as a group! I would not plan for an entire group to be as one unit...plan and give them the tasks of making their FP's, Dining, etc then if they don't its on them and doesn't ruin your vacation I the process!

 

[yensid67]

There should be a generic planning page that can be downloaded for those with dilemmas like these!

 

[JIMINYCR]

Dont feel guilty and dont make concessions for them. You did what you could. We have friends who also took the attitude... Its only Disney.... so they didnt think the planning was needed. But they did put a lot of effort into planning other trips they went on. I hounded them and reminded them and messaged them and did all I could to convince them to put forth the effort to get things done. I said, yeah years ago you could do a Disney trip with very little preplanning but now its crucial we plan out more in advance. When the trip came they missed out on doing things and I just took the attitude that it wasnt going to affect our trip. I did what I could to try getting them organized, they are adults and should have listened. They missed out and it wasnt my fault so they had to live with the trip they got.

 

[slipperalwaysfits]

I love giving the idea of giving new/other people deadlines. We are very lucky and know my mom pretty well so we ran our ideas of what we thought she'd like to do/where she wants to eat by her earlier. She chose 3 restaurants from a list we gave her and then DH put those in our plans when we were looking at what we wanted to do when and where else we wanted to eat. We did this all before our dining reservation day so we knew what we wanted when the time came.

Mom and her bff Jamie have said they trust us on what fp's to pick and they are planning to do fp's with us and then meet up with us for dinner ressies or other events/park hopping we decide to do together.

 

[LAKid53]

As the saying goes, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.....

Sounds like you've done everything you can....and she's a tad passive-aggressive. My advice, let the chips fall where they may and enjoy the time with your brother. If she can't ride the same attractions you are, well, so sad, too bad....there's still plenty to do. Show her the new stores at Disney Springs. Nothing soothes like some retail therapy at Kate Spade or Sephora. And don't let her guilt trip you.

Since Disney has cracked down on FP+ "fraud", do not give her your MB. She's a big girl...if she hasn't learned by now, she won't start at Disney. And remember, stuff like this is why God gave us chocolate....and wine.

 

[rufio]

Well, I ended up making concessions for her. :/ Just today I gave her my Na'vi River Journey FP+ because I felt bad for making her wait when I can go anytime. We ended up cancelling our Frozen FP and doing the standby line and just cancelled the Mine Train altogether. At the moment I'm wishing I insisted they rent a car. I suggested it and they didn't want to spend the money, but because she wants to basically do open to close every day I'm having to drive to and from Disney twice a day so I can let my dogs out to pee. From now on I'll know to be more firm with deadlines and making sure people cooperate with plans.

 

[JillC LI]

Well, I ended up making concessions for her. :/ Just today I gave her my Na'vi River Journey FP+ because I felt bad for making her wait when I can go anytime. We ended up cancelling our Frozen FP and doing the standby line and just cancelled the Mine Train altogether. At the moment I'm wishing I insisted they rent a car. I suggested it and they didn't want to spend the money, but because she wants to basically do open to close every day I'm having to drive to and from Disney twice a day so I can let my dogs out to pee. From now on I'll know to be more firm with deadlines and making sure people cooperate with plans.

You're a very good person. Better than I would be.

 

[Nj4mwc]

This is why I am very select about who I will do parks with, I am the one everyone will look to to plan but if you don't want to follow my plan then the hell with you, if you ask me to do the work in advance it's a dictatorship not a democracy and I will send dissenters to the gulags

 

[Minnie1986]

Do not, under any circumstances, give up your FPs for this person. We are talking about a grown woman who was given more than enough time and detailed instructions. She chose not to follow said instructions, therefore, she can suffer the consequences. It's great that you're trying to acknowledge the fact that she hasn't been to Disney since childhood; however, if it were that important to her, she would've done something about it. I don't care how often you go, you shouldn't sacrifice your good time with your brother because of her attitude.

 

[LAKid53]

Do not, under any circumstances, give up your FPs for this person. We are talking about a grown woman who was given more than enough time and detailed instructions. She chose not to follow said instructions, therefore, she can suffer the consequences. It's great that you're trying to acknowledge the fact that she hasn't been to Disney since childhood, however, if it were that important to her, she would've done something about. I don't care how often you go, you shouldn't sacrifice your good time with your brother because of her attitude.

^^This - my sentiments exactly.