WDWMagic Piano Bar

stranger

stranger

New Member
Can't touch me

Ju-ju-ju-ju-just like that bad guy
From Lethal Weapon 2
I've got diplomatic immunity, so Hammer, you can't sue
I can write graffiti, even jaywalk in the street
I can riot, loot, not give a hoot
and touch your sister's teat (can't touch me)
("can't touch me"in the background)
Man: What in God's name is he doing?
Cleveland: I believe that's the worm.

Stop! Peter-time!
I'm a big shot, there's no doubt
Light a fire and ______ it out
Don't like it, kiss my rump
Just for a minute let's all do the Bump

(Can't touch me)

Yeah do the Peter Griffin bump (can't touch me)

I'm Presidential Peter, interns think I'm hot
Don't care if you're handicapped, I'll still park in your spot
I've been around the world, from Hartford to Back Bay
It's Peter, go Peter, im sir Peter, yo Peter, let's see Regis rap this way
(Can't touch me)
 
speck76

speck76

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Take a drink

And you'll sink
to a state, of pure inebriation
You'll be tanked, like the whole, Irish nation

When you drink enough, of my beer,
You will find this magic brew'll
make you're every joke, a jewel
You'll drive drunker than, Oksana Biull

Go on buds
drink my suds
till you've reached, that pure inebriation
though the beer, may be free,
You're just renting it from me
 
speck76

speck76

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
You'll get chills
all through your body
and you'll lose
all control
of your bladder
and your sphincter
thats your

Cause, if you use toad
then I'm tellin you
you can kiss your life goodbye

Yeah when you use toad
it'll mess you up
It'll make your mama cry
thats no lie
you'll choke on your tongue and die

Gotta give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
its no joke
buddy give it up
(you gotta give up the toad now)
or you'll croak
buddy give it up
(gotta give up the toad now)
and dont smoke
or you'll see
it hurts to ______

There'll be blood
gushing from you
everytime that you cough
and forget getting lucky
it falls off

So you better wise up
cause I'm tellin you
toad is one lando forbids

Gotta give it all up
or your gonna see
your whole life will hit the skids
and your kids
will be born without eyelids

Gotta give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
just give it up
(give up the toad now)
(thanks to you)
give it up
(give up the toad now)

I'm no fool
Landos cool
YEAH!
 
stranger

stranger

New Member
Chumba wumba gobbledy goo
Life isn't fair
Its sad but its true
Chumba wumba gobbledy gee
When your poor legs are stiff as a tree

What do you do when your stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs
What do you think of the one you call god?
Isn't his absence slightly odd?
Maybe he's forgotten you

Chumba wumba gobbledy gorse
Count yourself lucky your not a horse
They would turn you into dog food
Or into chumba wumba gobbledy glue
 
speck76

speck76

Well-Known Member
Original Poster
Peter:
On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
We hit a couple divy little bars
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
Sitting at the table next to ours
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic
p.enis is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!”

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Meg: “Did Barney really say that?”
Peter: “Oh, yeah! He is a b*stard.”
Lois: “Wow!”
Peter: “An-And he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women!
Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad...”
Brian: “Well you think that's bad, listen to this…”

One day I met an ape of great charisma
Magilla the Gorilla was his name
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
A fashion witch has brought him great acclaim
I said: "What do you see as your career-peak?
Of all your many flashy escapades.”
He said: "Well this is funky,
but you're looking at the monkey who’s responsible for bringing you the AIDS. “

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Peter: “So he’s the cold prick?”
Stewie: “I say that is just awful!”
Lois: “Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin…”

I had a conversation at a party
With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd
He told me I just had to see his rifle
And dropped it at the table with a thud
I said to him: “It’s quite a lovely firearm.”
He told me his fiancé likes it to
He said: “This maybe corny but it really gets me when
I press it to her temple while we screw!”

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Peter: “Aw, God! That is one sick b*stard!”
Stewie: “Euw, you’re not kidding?”
Brian: “Yeah, that… eeh… that stuff’s kinda’ against the law to, I think.”
Chris: “Well, I got one that’s even worse than that…”

On Friday-night I went to get some candy
Some soda and some chips and other stuff
Along the way I passed a little alley
And there I saw that K-9 called McGruff
I said to him: “Hey! You’re that famous crime dog!”
He said:
“I only work from nine to five! And now it’s close “ten-ish” and I
got a job to finish ‘cause as you can see this hooker’s still alive!”

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Meg: “That’s awful!”
Stewie: “Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers!”
Peter: “He is a d*ck… He is a D*CK!”
Stewie: “Yes, yes! He’s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that… Listen to this!”

One day as I was strolling through the forest
I happened on some mushroom covered turf
And there from underneath a patro-fungus
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
He said: “This is our secret mushroom village!”
I said: “Then I’m the first to see these views?”
He said: “I’m only kidding, ‘cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians,
Adams, F*ggots, Blacks and Jews!”

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Lois: “That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster!”
Stewie: “Oh, he’s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe,
and do you know what I did when I got home?”
Brian: “What?”
Stewie: “I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!”

[LAUGHTER]

Peter: “That’s sweeeeet…”
Meg: “Can I go next?”
Lois: “Of course, sweetie!”
Meg: “One day I met a…-”
Peter: “Holy crap! Look who’s here, it’s Jason Alexander!”
JA: “Hey, Cartoon-haters!”
Meg: “B-but I was supposed to go next!”
Lois: “Quiet, honey! Mr. Alexander wants to talk!”
JA: “I couldn’t help overhearing what you were talking about and I agree.
Cartoons are real f*cking a$$holes!”
Brian: “Yeah, that’s sorta’ what we’ve been trying to communicate.”
JA: “Well, get a load of this!”
Peter: “(Laughing) He said load!!”
Lois: “(Laughing) I know! I heard!”

I once met Scooby-Doo at a première bash
He looked a little haggard and he stunk
He said: “The trouble started last December.
When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk.”
And now he’s got a child out of wedlock
It’s dealing his career a fatal blow
I asked him: “Where’s the baby?”
He said: “Jason, buddy, maybe now you see why f*ckin’ Scrappy’s gotta go!”

All Cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f*ckin' d*cks

Peter: “Wow, Scrappy is the b*stard child of Scooby and Daphne?”
JA: “Shocking isn’t it?”
Peter: “Yeah! Hey, you bags wanna wrap this up?”

[CHOIR SINGING]

So let us now leave you with one suggestion
A bit of wisdom you can take for free
‘Cause the Micky’s and the Goofy’s and the Daffy’s
Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
So anytime Sylvester catches Tweety
Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
(He’s in a fix!)
Sit back and just observe it;
‘Cause the little ____*ts deserve it
FOR ALL CARTOONS ARE F*CKIN’ D*CKS!

Stewie:
“So! When do we get to the ‘off-color’ part of the album?” :lookaroun
 
stranger

stranger

New Member
:lol:

On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
We hit a couple divy little bars
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
Sitting at the table next to ours
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!”

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Meg: “Did Barney really say that?”
Peter: “Oh, yeah! He is a ______________.”
Lois: “Wow!”
Peter: “An-And he really does not give a damn about the feelings of women! Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad...”
Brian: “Well you think that's bad, listen to this…”

One day I met an ape of great charisma
Magilla the Gorilla was his name
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
A fashion witch has brought him great acclaim
I said: "What do you see as your career-peak? Of all your many flashy escapades.”
He said: "Well this is funky, but you're looking at the monkey who’s responsible for bringing you the AIDS. “

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Peter: “So he’s the cold prick?”
Stewie: “I say that is just awful!”
Lois: “Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin…”

I had a conversation at a party
With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd
He told me I just had to see his rifle
And dropped it at the table with a thud
I said to him: “It’s quite a lovely firearm.”
He told me his fiancé likes it to
He said: “This maybe corny but it really gets me when I press it to her temple while we screw!”

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Peter: “Aw, God! That is one sick ______________!”
Stewie: “Euw, you’re not kidding?”
Brian: “Yeah, that… eeh… that stuff’s kinda’ against the law to, I think.”
Chris: “Well, I got one that’s even worse than that…”

On Friday-night I went to get some candy
Some soda and some chips and other stuff
Along the way I passed a little alley
And there I saw that K-9 called McGruff
I said to him: “Hey! You’re that famous crime dog!”
He said:
“I only work from nine to five! And now it’s close “ten-ish” and I
got a job to finish ‘cause as you can see this hooker’s still alive!”

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Meg: “That’s awful!”
Stewie: “Uh! Imagine McGruff beating up hookers!”
Peter: “He is a ________… He is a ________!”
Stewie: “Yes, yes! He’s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that… Listen to this!”

One day as I was strolling through the forest
I happened on some mushroom covered turf
And there from underneath a patro-fungus
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
He said: “This is our secret mushroom village!”
I said: “Then I’m the first to see these views?”
He said: “I’m only kidding, ‘cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians, Adams, Faggots, Blacks and Jews!”

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Lois: “That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster!”
Stewie: “Oh, he’s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe, and do you know what I did when I got home?”
Brian: “What?”
Stewie: “I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is!”

[LAUGHTER]

Peter: “That’s sweeeeet…”
Meg: “Can I go next?”
Lois: “Of course, sweetie!”
Meg: “One day I met a…-”
Peter: “Holy crap! Look who’s here, it’s Jason Alexander!”
JA: “Hey, Cartoon-haters!”
Meg: “B-but I was supposed to go next!”
Lois: “Quiet, honey! Mr. Alexander wants to talk!”
JA: “I couldn’t help overhearing what you were talking about and I agree. Cartoons are real f__________g a____________s!”
Brian: “Yeah, that’s sorta’ what we’ve been trying to communicate.”
JA: “Well, get a load of this!”
Peter: “(Laughing) He said load!!”
Lois: “(Laughing) I know! I heard!”

I once met Scooby-Doo at a première bash
He looked a little haggard and he stunk
He said: “The trouble started last December. When Daphne made a pass while she was drunk.”
And now he’s got a child out of wedlock
It’s dealing his career a fatal blow
I asked him: “Where’s the baby?”
He said: “Jason, buddy, maybe now you see why f__________’ Scrappy’s gotta go!”

All Cartoons are f__________' dicks
They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are f__________' dicks

Peter: “Wow, Scrappy is the ______________ child of Scooby and Daphne?”
JA: “Shocking isn’t it?”
Peter: “Yeah! Hey, you bags wanna wrap this up?”

[CHOIR SINGING]

So let us now leave you with one suggestion
A bit of wisdom you can take for free
‘Cause the Micky’s and the Goofy’s and the Daffy’s
Are not the gentle souls they seem to be
So anytime Sylvester catches Tweety
Or Tom has got poor Jerry in a fix
(He’s in a fix!)
Sit back and just observe it;
‘Cause the little s deserve it
FOR ALL CARTOONS ARE F__________’ DICKS!

Stewie:
“So! When do we get to the ‘off-color’ part of the albu
 
stranger

stranger

New Member
speck76 said:
Peter:
On Monday I had drinks with Barney Rubble
We hit a couple divy little bars
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
Sitting at the table next to ours
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic
p.enis is as massive as a stegosaurus bone!”
Click to expand...


Crap, you beat me!
 

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