WDW March Madness: The Wacky Brackets IV – A No Hope

[GenerationX]

Historically, the Wacky Brackets have allowed you, the brash, young, upstart poster with unrealized potential, to determine the official Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year. This year? No different. As the head lunatic in this asylum, it’s my job to guide you through the wilderness of Disney topics to the vast wasteland of Mickey Mouse issues.

What exactly is a Mickey Mouse Issue? And why would we want to honor such a nuisance with an award? Simmer down, I’m getting to that. A Mickey Mouse Issue is a topic characterized by long, heated arguments - typically ones requiring the ever patient Mom to close because they lack any semblance of redeeming value - that go nowhere. While these discussions provide many an opportunity to poke the crazy, they also tend to drag on for page after page of repetitive drivel. And about what? A trifle. You’ve read the threads. You laughed, you cried, but mostly you wondered why anyone cared so much about something so trivial.

So, pick the never-ending topic you care the least about, vote for it, then (optionally) rant about the lunatic fringe behind the trenches on either (or better yet both!) sides of the non-issue.

And in my annual bonus to you, I’m extending the voting beyond the issues themselves to also include the horrendous ways posters respond to those and other issues! w00t! This tourney promises to be more fun than the WDW Parks News and Rumors forum drinking game (“Before commenting, I’ll wait for Lee, Raven, or Martin to confirm.” Drink!!).

By now, you’re really wishing you didn’t have that psychotic thirst to read every thread on the site. Hey, we all have our faults. If you’d like to quench that thirst with even more pointless threads, take a read through the past three tournaments:

• Wacky Brackets I, won by “The Wand”
• Wacky Brackets II, won by “Why Does Disney Continue to Ignore My Unerring, Supremely Wise Counsel?”
• Wacky Brackets III, won by ”Yesterday vs. Today”

These threads provide valuable lessons in how not to run a tournament.

So, what exactly is a Mickey Mouse Issue again? You tell me …


Manic Kingdom Rumors Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (1024) A NewTron Bomb Dropping on Tomorrowland?

Attraction Overreaction Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (09) Tomorrowland Transit Audio Abomination vs. (12) Aerosmith OUT, Every Other Artist Known to Man IN

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(0) Pool Hopping vs. (30) Scooters vs. (420) Pulling the Kids out of School
(1) Monorail Expansion vs. (5) 5th Gate vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club
(40) The Hat vs. (80) FastPass vs. (113) Bedbugs

Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(2) “That’s a dumb idea, but I’m too dumb to explain why or offer an alternative” vs. (-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!”
(411) “I haven’t read the entire thread, but here’s my unique, insightful opinion that trumps all that has been discussed thus far” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

Cloning is Not Just for Attractions Anymore Bracket
(0010203040) The Art of All-Star Movies Resort vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

Looking Outside of The World Bracket
(53) Negligibly-Faster-than-Regular Speed Rail vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

 

[Wilt Dasney]

Manic Kingdom Rumors Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (1024) A NewTron Bomb Dropping on Tomorrowland?

Could this matchup have its own separate thread? Or 12?

Attraction Overreaction Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (09) Tomorrowland Transit Audio Abomination vs. (12) Aerosmith OUT, Every Other Artist Known to Man IN

Proof that returning an attraction to its original vibe can paradoxically make people nostalgic for the old ride.

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(0) Pool Hopping vs. (30) Scooters vs. (420) Pulling the Kids out of School

I've heard tell that moderators are going to start checking for wristbands before letting anybody into a pool hopping thread. Personally I'm sick of all those kids coming over from the other forums to use our threads.

(1) Monorail Expansion vs. (5) 5th Gate vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club

Is this not happening anymore?

(40) The Hat vs. (80) FastPass vs. (113) Bedbugs

The raw populist appeal of class warfare, the bloodless wonkiness of guest throughput algorithms, the tin-foil hat paranoia of intrusive technology concerns...there's a reason this argument won't die. It's got it all!

Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(2) “That’s a dumb idea, but I’m too dumb to explain why or offer an alternative” vs. (-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!”

There's a certain charm to someone who spends the whole plane ride back home tallying up a list of grievances. These are the people I want to hang out with (albeit briefly), just to see if they're real.

(411) “I haven’t read the entire thread, but here’s my unique, insightful opinion that trumps all that has been discussed thus far” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

Laughing Out Loud!

Cloning is Not Just for Attractions Anymore Bracket
(0010203040) The Art of All-Star Movies Resort vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

In my day, merchandise was imbued with the air of artificial scarcity by arbitrarily making the best stuff hard to find. My memories are more valuable because of it!

Looking Outside of The World Bracket
(53) Negligibly-Faster-than-Regular Speed Rail vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

This ride would have been awesome/horrible/mediocre if Disney had been allowed to build it. What a shame/thank goodness/meh that Universal got the rights instead, because their version is totally horrible/awesome/mediocre.

 

[GenerationX]

(0) Pool Hopping

I've heard tell that moderators are going to start checking for wristbands before letting anybody into a pool hopping thread. Personally I'm sick of all those kids coming over from the other forums to use our threads.

Yeah!

(1) Monorail Expansion

Is this not happening anymore?

No amount of wishing, coaxing, or cajoling is going to make this happen when one foot of monorail track costs more than the crown jewels. But reality will never sway monorail enthusiasts ... they have a one track mind. :lookaroun

(80) FastPass

The raw populist appeal of class warfare, the bloodless wonkiness of guest throughput algorithms, the tin-foil hat paranoia of intrusive technology concerns...there's a reason this argument won't die. It's got it all!

If FP wins this year, you've written its acceptance speech!

(10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

This ride would have been awesome/horrible/mediocre if Disney had been allowed to build it. What a shame/thank goodness/meh that Universal got the rights instead, because their version is totally horrible/awesome/mediocre.

My thoughts exactly/sorta/notsomuch.

 

[Wilt Dasney]

But reality will never sway monorail enthusiasts ... they have a one track mind. :lookaroun

Well-played, bracket master. :lol:

 

[SAV]

Manic Kingdom Rumors Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (1024) A NewTron Bomb Dropping on Tomorrowland?

Attraction Overreaction Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (09) Tomorrowland Transit Audio Abomination vs. (12) Aerosmith OUT, Every Other Artist Known to Man IN

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(0) Pool Hopping vs. (30) Scooters vs. (420) Pulling the Kids out of School
(1) Monorail Expansion vs. (5) 5th Gate vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club
(40) The Hat vs. (80) FastPass vs. (113) Bedbugs

Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(2) “That’s a dumb idea, but I’m too dumb to explain why or offer an alternative” vs. (-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!”
(411) “I haven’t read the entire thread, but here’s my unique, insightful opinion that trumps all that has been discussed thus far” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

Cloning is Not Just for Attractions Anymore Bracket
(0010203040) The Art of All-Star Movies Resort vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

Looking Outside of The World Bracket
(53) Negligibly-Faster-than-Regular Speed Rail vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

 

[GenerationX]

If you can tear yourself away from the University of North Carolina - Asheville Bulldogs vs. the University of Arkansas - Little Rock Trojans (Go Trojans! My high school team was the Trojans), vote now. Wait for a TV timeout if you must. But get that vote in. Don't let your favorite Mickey Mouse Issue lose in the first round!

 

[GenerationX]

Which issue puts the HYPE in HYPErion Wharf? The PR in PRincess? The SPIN in Buzz Lightyear’s Astro Blasters? Er, Space Ranger SPIN? First Round closing soon!

 

[GenerationX]

I was sad to see Tron crash (it had real potential given the hysteria surrounding it), but it was going up against a tough FLE. Which version of whose plans has someone seen sticking half out of a paper shredder this week? I heart that stuff. I was also sad to see my little friends the bedbugs go, as their triumphant return to being the dominant species on the planet has raised many an identical, paranoid thread.

I had to recklessly break a couple of ties to get us down to the Inane Nine. I tried to determine which issues would have legs (no offense intended to my little buddies and future overlords the bedbugs), but I also could not pass up issues with wheels. Especially wheels that always result in locked threads (I'm looking at you, Mr. Scooter). So, here are the next round of matchups ...

The Why Hasn't This Finished By Now Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (06) Fixed? Not Yeti

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(30) Scooters vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club vs. (80) FastPass

The Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

The End of The World Bracket
(00) Generic Merchandise vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

 

[SAV]

The Why Hasn't This Finished By Now Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (06) Fixed? Not Yeti

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(30) Scooters vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club vs. (80) FastPass

The Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

The End of The World Bracket
(00) Generic Merchandise vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

 

[GenerationX]

I'm not leaving the voting open until another Disney princess movie is green lit, so hop to it!

 

[Wilt Dasney]

The Why Hasn't This Finished By Now Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (06) Fixed? Not Yeti

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(30) Scooters vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club vs. (80) FastPass

The Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

The End of The World Bracket
(00) Generic Merchandise vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

I don't have any witty asides to include today...so instead I'm including this GIF of a guy breakdancing in a bear suit.

 

[Nemo14]

I don't have any witty asides to include today...so instead I'm including this GIF of a guy breakdancing in a bear suit.

So obviously this means that Horizons is coming back, right?

Manic Kingdom Rumors Bracket
(12) The Fantasyland Expansion of Redundant Threads vs. (1024) A NewTron Bomb Dropping on Tomorrowland?

Attraction Overreaction Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (09) Tomorrowland Transit Audio Abomination vs. (12) Aerosmith OUT, Every Other Artist Known to Man IN

The Usual Suspects Bracket
(0) Pool Hopping vs. (30) Scooters vs. (420) Pulling the Kids out of School(1) Monorail Expansion vs. (5) 5th Gate vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club(40) The Hat vs. (80) FastPass vs. (113) Bedbugs

Appalling Poster Behavior Bracket
(2) “That’s a dumb idea, but I’m too dumb to explain why or offer an alternative” vs. (-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!”(411) “I haven’t read the entire thread, but here’s my unique, insightful opinion that trumps all that has been discussed thus far” vs. (-411) “Why isn’t there a page with abbreviations? Oh, there is one. Why can’t you people just type everything out?”

Cloning is Not Just for Attractions Anymore Bracket
(0010203040) The Art of All-Star Movies Resort vs. (00) Generic Merchandise
Looking Outside of The World Bracket
(53) Negligibly-Faster-than-Regular Speed Rail vs. (10) Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey to Universal

 

[GenerationX]

And another exciting round comes to a close! Early favorites FLE and Harry Potter have lost their magic ... cast no spell on our voters ... are headed to the scrap heap of history behind Epcot and will soon be home to a lovely family of alligators.

I can't help but think that HP's official entry name led to its demise. Here were the alternate names considered:

Harry Potter and the Souvenir’s Sold
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Profits
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Endless Queue
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Butter Beer
Harry Potter and the Order of the Park Fix
Harry Potter and the Half-Baked Response
Harry Potter and the Disney Follows.

But it's too late for HP. March Madness must continue to march. Unlike other tournaments that drag on for weeks and weeks, we're already at our Final Four! Which issue's opponents, proponents, components, and/or spelling drive everyone else but you absolutely crazy?:


The Not Coming Back Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club


The Not Going Back Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

 

[wizards8507]

The Not Coming Back Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club

The Not Going Back Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

This is grade-A stuff guys, keep it coming. Though I'm disappointed not to see any references to the Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile-and-shouldn't-be-at-Disney-World-but-he's-okay-in-California debate of Summer '10.

 

[GenerationX]

Though I'm disappointed not to see any references to the Michael-Jackson-is-a-pedophile-and-shouldn't-be-at-Disney-World-but-he's-okay-in-California debate of Summer '10.

Yeah, there are always some bubble issues that don't make it. Damn Selection Committee! Other notable snubs include: Opening your own birthday thread, Cramming six adults into one room at Pop, and Free Parking for the Classless.

 

[GenerationX]

The skywriter has replaced his religious messages with orders for you to get your votes in before the polls close!

 

[Wilt Dasney]

These are TOUGH!

The Not Coming Back Bracket
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club

I suppose if we're determining which one is more pointless to argue over, a metaphorical smoking crater beats a metaphorical...existing Audio-Animatronic that could still be fixed in theory. (Yeah, I really need to work on my metaphors.)


The Not Going Back Bracket
(-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

Gotta go with merch, simply because it is an issue...as opposed to a form of behavior by people who just have issues.

 

[GenerationX]

With both matchups tied and my Hamlet-like indecisiveness in full swing, I'm lowering the bar once again! All four of the issues will make it to the championship. Which issue is worthy of the coveted title of Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year?

Will it be the non-stop questioning of A mode, B mode, C mode, Disco mode, or Com-mode of that paragon of audio-animatronic brilliance? How about the whiner's club? The trip report of complete crap? The lack of unique trinkets? You have until sometime on Saturday night to get your vote in.

The March Madness Bracket to End All March Madness Brackets
(06) Fixed? Not Yeti vs. (08) Adventurer’s Club vs. (-2) “I just got back, and I have A LOT to complain about!” vs. (00) Generic Merchandise

Many people developed forum-related software, many others installed it, and still others created idiotic tournament brackets on top of it just so that you would have the ability to vote in this competition. Do what you know you need to do.

 

[Wilt Dasney]

I vote for the Adventurer's Club as the Mickey Mouse issue of the year.

Like the physical location of Narnia or how many angels fit on the head of a pin, you can argue it all you want...but in the end, there's nothing there. (Well OK, there's an empty building, but I'm not letting that get in the way of my logic.)

 

[GenerationX]

In a landslide (shutting out the rest of the competition!), the Adventurer's Club takes this year's Mickey Mouse Issue of the Year prize. The continued pointless blather about an attraction that has been closed nearly three years vaulted the once also-ran in previous years into this year's tournament champion. You might think that because there was only one vote in the final round, "landslide" and "vaulted" are overstating the significance of the victory. You would be wrong.