To leash your children or not in the parks

[meganw1985]

Maybe "back in the day" people didn't have to use them. But "back in the day" there weren't total freaks running on the loose all over the place. There is more and more madness every single day. Bad things happen to children far more frequently than used to. And I do not trust other people. Not that it would be easy to do any of those things at Disney, but in life in general. There are just WAAAAY more people there and easy for a little child to disappear for a long period of time OR get trampled. And I bet that being lost from their parents for an extended period of time would do WAY more emotional damage than being on a harness with their parents.

 

[draybook]

"Back in the day" you had people like Dahmer, Gacey, Ramirez, and countless others, so the dangers were there. We just didn't have social media back then to spread stories like wildfire like we do now. And I agree that a child being separated would most likely do more emotional harm than a harness would. But my question is how would you let them out of your sight? Even when focusing on maneuvering through crowds, I use my peripheral vision to "check" my kids' location, so to speak. Heck, maybe I just have an advantage from military training, but I just don't get how people could lose sight of their children.

 

[GenerationX]

My three boys are teenagers now. I tell all new parents that the hardest years are 1.5 to 3.5. The kids are fully mobile and completely unreasonable.

Oldest son has Asperger's, all three are "active", and we started touring WDW back when they were 2, 4, and 6. We dressed them in matching, brightly colored shirts so it was easier to take a headcount (similar to @Britt mentioning headcount checks).

We never used leashes, but I understand other people have valid reasons for using them. The issue, to me, is that leash usage could lead to a slippery slope of path-of-least-resistance parenting. If a parent is not willing to expend the extra energy to carefully watch their toddler, are they willing to expend the extra energy to properly discipline them? There isn't a direct relationship between the two behaviors, I know, but I can see some potential correlation.

 

[karolena3]

Please realize that I say the following in good humor and jest. But did you have to go into the backyard to use the restroom, and did you eat from a dish on the floor? I don't recall enjoying being treated like an animal nor do I remember wanting to be like our pets. True, everyone is different, but I would bet that wanting to be "animal-like" is not the norm.

I appreciate what your saying is in jest, but I think you are purposely mis-reading what I said. Kids have incredibly active imagination. I don't think I have meet one child that didn't crawl on the ground meowing like a cat or barking like a dog. Fun fact I actually did like to play in my dog's crate when I was little. Maybe I was and continue to be a little odd, but I would never say that I was treated like an animal in a bad way, but I also do not treat my animals in a way that I would not treat my children.

I know will kindly bow out of this thread which I knew I should never have read in the first place, because this topic is so divisive.

To each his/her own.

 

[draybook]

I appreciate what your saying is in jest, but I think you are purposely mis-reading what I said. Kids have incredibly active imagination. I don't think I have meet one child that didn't crawl on the ground meowing like a cat or barking like a dog. Fun fact I actually did like to play in my dog's crate when I was little. Maybe I was and continue to be a little odd, but I would never say that I was treated like an animal in a bad way, but I also do not treat my animals in a way that I would not treat my children.

I know will kindly bow out of this thread which I knew I should never have read in the first place, because this topic is so divisive.

To each his/her own.

I'm just joshing you. I agree, to each their own. Also, I think that everyone is odd in their own way, I know I am.

 

[PhotoDave219]

If you have to leash your child, maybe he's too young to be out in public?

 

[litaljohn]

as we sort of branched the issue into a back then/now issue I think it raises another setback in dealing with children is not even the parents, but literally everyone else in the park. all the "good Samaritans" are sort of leaving swiftly. one comic bill burr (funny but not for kids) used to rant about how you used to be able to say hello to kids and because of that new modern fear we instilled in ourselves you're afraid to go near kids in public. people go on Abe's thinking get that thing away from me because you say or do anything now to another kid and your accused of trying to steal them somehow.
and let's be honest there are some parents who don't pay attention and their kids start to wander, years ago when I was young you would see people get either the parents attention or you'd gette kids attention "sweetie your mommies going that way" and point them to the right way. take that same scene today and you see a kid start to wonder you would think the kid had the plague seeing the lengths some go to in order to avoid everything about the situation out of fear.
it's really become a lose lose situation out there where families fear the world an the world fears them as well.

 

[popcenturylover]

WOW, this is a loaded question! I have an opinion but, I will keep it to myself as not to offend anyone.

 

[George]

as we sort of branched the issue into a back then/now issue I think it raises another setback in dealing with children is not even the parents, but literally everyone else in the park. all the "good Samaritans" are sort of leaving swiftly. one comic bill burr (funny but not for kids) used to rant about how you used to be able to say hello to kids and because of that new modern fear we instilled in ourselves you're afraid to go near kids in public. people go on Abe's thinking get that thing away from me because you say or do anything now to another kid and your accused of trying to steal them somehow.
and let's be honest there are some parents who don't pay attention and their kids start to wander, years ago when I was young you would see people get either the parents attention or you'd gette kids attention "sweetie your mommies going that way" and point them to the right way. take that same scene today and you see a kid start to wonder you would think the kid had the plague seeing the lengths some go to in order to avoid everything about the situation out of fear.
it's really become a lose lose situation out there where families fear the world an the world fears them as well.

A lot of this still goes on. I've gotten nothing but thank yous when I've corralled a loose kid, pointed them towards their parents or yelled there name when the yelling of the parents didn't register. It is amazing how the kid becomes acclimatized to the parents voice, but when a strange voice yells their name, they turnaround fast.

 

[flynnibus]

you have hands.. they have hands.. use 'em

 

[WDW 3]

Waaay back in the day people leashed kids in their yards, often to clotheslines. My SIL said she was. A friend of my mothers had a young daughter that would run first chance she got. The police told her it was illegal. Her mother was at a loss because she didn't know what else to do. Hard to hold a hand and keep an eye on the kids while hanging the laundry. This was the late 50's.

I don't really care, just keep the leash short. I really don't like tripping over or stepping on roaming little kids.

 

[donaldtoo]

I have not read through this entire thread yet, so forgive me if I am being redundant or appear insensitive. I'm just giving an opinion based on life experience.
When DW and myself were children we were never leashed. I don't even think they existed then (for kids, anyway). Mom and dad just plain and simply looked after all 4 of us (DW came from a 4-sib family too) and when we reached a certain age we were taught the basics - don't take candy from strangers, look both ways , then look both ways again, before crossing the street, if you play with crap don't act surprised when you get some on you, etc.
Even so, experience is usually the best teacher. We used to disappear into the foothills in the morning on our bikes for the entire day on a weekend or during the summer with only some lawn mowing money in our pockets to spend on food or candy and not come home 'til dinner. And, we lived in NoCal at the time ('68-'76) - the time of hippies, Manson, the Zodiac Killer, etc. Even so, it was a different time.
Fast forward to our children...
We looked after them and taught them as DW and myself were looked after and taught. We never leashed.
Our 3 kiddos are 3 years and 2 months apart in age. When they were little, it was like trying (and I can't emphasize "trying" enough ) to herd cats. Add to that the fact that our middle child (DS) was born at 1 lb. 4 oz. and has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum as well as with asperger's, but is otherwise, thankfully, as healthy as a horse, and it could be quite off-the-chain sometimes. But, we still never leashed. We just had the parental radar at full, fun, tilt all the time and we all have the best memories of all the things we've done together.
We continued to instill common sense in them as they grew and approached driving age. As my mother and father taught me, drive like everyone else on the road is a complete and total a-hole and you'll be just fine. If you're doin' 60 mph and wondering if that person at the stop sign at the cross road doesn't "see" you and is going to pull out in front of you, bet your they don't "see" you and prepare accordingly. A green light does NOT mean go, it means look both ways, then look both ways again, then go.
I hear about and see so much "helicopter" parenting these days, and it seems to be approaching new levels. It is approaching more like what I would term "force field/bubble parenting".
Ultimately, to each couple/parent their own. But, seems to me anyway that kids, no matter what their situation, need to be just that...kids.

 

[TeamUBR]

I am thrilled that there are so many great kids and wonderful parents out there. Obviously a tether wouldn't make any sense for kids like that. That must be the reason for so many strong comments against them.
I'm one of 3 brothers that had pretty major ADHD (hyperactivity back in the 60s) We were all 26 months apart. My little brother has major developmental issues and severe ADHD. He would probably be diagnosed on the severe end of the Autism spectrum today. Back in the 60s he was considered hyperactive and mentally retarded. He is mostly non-verbal and can and still does run like the wind. My mom, apparently being a terrible parent, would "leash" him from time to time. I can remember occasions when she didn't and my older brother and I would take off after him trying to catch him and bring him back. Far more embarrassing for all of us than the leash was. He's 50 now and lives in residential care.
Flash to now, I have a son with profound ADHD. He's adopted before the wonderful ones jump in about it being my fault for passing my defective genes on. He also has significant learning disabilities. He's 15 now, but when we adopted him at 2, we started coming to WDW. I never felt I needed to use a leash with him because he is our only child and my DW and I always out numbered him. Often it took both of us to keep an eye on him and keep him safe. If we had more kids or were out numbered, I would have used a leash without giving it a thought.
Those that are "sad" or "appalled" or "think it's terrible" should feel blessed they have the wonderful kids (or don't have kids) They also shouldn't judge others unless they have walked in their shoes. Until then, I'll just smile and let your uninformed opinion roll off and continue to do what I know is in my kids best interest.

Feel free to flame. I have nomex underwear and a 2 layer fire suit I wear in the race car. It really doesn't effect me.

j

 

[G00fyDad]

I don't see the big deal here.....

 

[TeamUBR]

I don't see the big deal here.....

Funny pic. And how'd you know my son is from Ukraine? (Where that pic is from) That may have been him before we adopted him.

j

 

[DisneyGuyNYC]

I would never. Ever.

 

[stevehousse]

I find this topic hilarious! My wife and I and siblings were never leashed, i actually never knew anyone that was. i have 2 kids, and i would never leash them like dogs! I find it to be somewhat inhumane, and I also tend to call it lazy parenting...it's not that hard to watch your children people!

But on a second note, while skimming through the thread, I was sent into a giggling fit when I read someone said they had used Velcro hand holders so they wouldn't lose their children! ROFL There are too many jokes and scenarios running through my head about that one!

 

[princessmommy]

I have SO many things to say about people who "leash" their kids. Sorry but if you can't control your child, you shouldn't be where you are! I would never....could never put a leash on my child. They are not dogs. I see it at Disney, I see it in stores..and every single time I can assure you...they can see my disgust. Whoever came up with the concept should be caged I mean really? What the heck! Rant over

Love this. my sentiments exactly. If you feel the meed to leash, maybe postpone the trip until you don't.

 

[The Mom]

Just a few observations from someone who grew up back in the day.
1. We weren't taken many places with crowds. Maybe the town parade or fireworks show.
2. I actually have a photo of me on my "leash" when I was around 2. My mother had 5 children, so didn't have enough hands, or eyes, to keep me from wandering off while she worked in our vegetable garden. We lived next to the railroad tracks, and a block away from a cove, so a wandering child was in immediate danger. Plus, there were hobos who rode the rails or walked along the tracks.
3. Unless you have grown children, you really don't know for sure if your parenting techniques are better than others - unless you're talking about real physical or emotional abuse. I was not traumatized by my "leash" nor was my daughter (I used one a couple of times when she was in her mad dash year) but didn't need one for her younger brother as she was then old enough to be an extra pair of hands when we went someplace crowded without my husband. And my eldest is just turning 30, so still has time to mess up. My youngest is in prime "mess up" years, so I'm not even close to be ready to say I've done a good job.

I have also lived long enough to know that every child is different, and I have been blessed to have children who have been generally easy to raise. It has more to do with them, rather than me. All I've done is love them, and provided everything they needed to thrive- but not always everything they've wanted.