So what the show that’s currently over at AK then?
Nemo, which will still be part of my idealized Animal Kingdom. My Jungle Book concept will be more focused towards the Asia section of the park.
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There's not much I would do with Frontierland. Splash Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain continue to be crowd-pleasers, and Tom Saywer Island is one of the best hideaway spots in the whole park. No, my only major change with Frontierland (apart from restoring Country Bear Jamboree to its original length, and bringing back the Diamond Horseshoe Saloon Revue) would focus on a new addition...
Magic Kingdom
Frontierland
~~~~~~~
Western River Expedition
This is one of the rides people think about when they think of rides that people wish were built. The Western River Expedition was once considered to be the Magic Kingdom’s version of Pirates of the Caribbean. But sadly, the idea was shelved due to Pirates arriving by popular demand. But now, Western River Expedition has finally come to be. This attraction, inspired by the original designs of the legendary Marc Davis, helps balance out the thrill-heavy attractions of Frontierland with something that the entire family can enjoy together. On the ride, we'll join Hoot Gibson, a wise old owl, on a journey back in time to the days of the Old West, where the miners dug for gold, the raunchy noises of drunken cowboys sounded from the saloon, and bandits were known to cause terror...but in this time of desperation, the Indians would attempt to summon the great Thunderbird itself to end all these evils. Will the Thunderbird end all? Will the bandits get you? Will the cowboys sober up? Well, we ain't gonna find out just standing here like cattle. Let's find out!
This long-awaited addition to Frontierland will be located on the expansion pad nestled along the northern border of the Rivers of America...
...and is accessed by a beaten path leading underneath the train station.
Given how hyped-up this new area of Frontierland would be, crowd flow would be a problem. Therefore, I’d install two covered bridges--one coming, one going--to lead guests over the river to the expansion pad. I used covered bridges, because I fear that uncovered, guests would see backstage. As we approach the bridges, we come across a few log cabins hosting restrooms, an ATM, and a souvenir stand lovingly referred to as the
Wilderness Outpost, where pioneers of all ages can rest a spell and purchase pop-guns, plastic bows and arrows, and the beloved coonskin cap. Also here is
Comfort Corner Hideaway, a backwoods refuge home to some of the best comfort food (i.e. fried chicken and greens) this side of the United States.
Once through the covered bridges, we find ourselves standing before Thunder Mesa itself. Thunder Mesa is the third formation in the Frontierland mountain range. With rockwork similar to that of neighboring Big Thunder Mountain, Thunder Mesa stands proudly, welcoming guests to a world of Western adventure. A gigantic waterfall tumbes down off the top of the Mesa and flowing back into the Rivers of America. Nearby that sits the beginning of a dirt road leading up the mesa. Standing tall and proud right in the middle of Thunder Mesa, visible only from its right side, is the legendary Thunderbird Peak, a mountain which takes on the shape of the legendary Thunderbird, a storm-causing beast of Native American lore. From within its "opened-beak" pours down a raging waterfall, the biggest, steepest waterfall ever designed by Disney. The mighty "wings" of the bird scrape the sky at unimaginable heights, nearly visible from every last angle of the park. When night falls upon the park, the hollow-eyes of the great bird glow an unearthly green, hinting that although this mountain may be an inanimate being of God's green earth, something supernatural must be inside.
Even from the mainland, you can see Thunderbird Peak, as it rises high above the rocky rostrums of Columbia Gorge, another new addition to the Frontierland atmosphere. Essentially, this is a carbon copy of the excellent new addition to the Disneyland Railroad, and it really helps give the sensation that Frontierland's wilderness is bigger than it appears.
If you dare discover the secrets of Thunderbird Peak for yourself, you can enter Thunder Mesa through an old, seemingly abandoned sawmill built into the base of the mountain. A sign atop the entrance door reads
“Western River Expedition”. Two old buzz-saws flank the sign, with one reading the Stand-By time, and the other reading the FastPass+ return time.
Stepping inside the sawmill, bits of abandoned machinery lie all about the place, covered in dust and cobwebs. It seems as if the old mill has been forgotten, much like the eerie Haunted Mansion on the other side of the river. The offices of old mill officials appear, barred-off, and locked, although the barred-windows do allow a glimpse inside. The office of one “Arthur T. Logger” is still-lit, and the old fellow is still there...even if he's a long-dead skeleton. The poor fellow appears slumped over on his desk, a feather pen at hand. One with a keen-eye may catch the fact that he's writing a letter to his wife; a nearby letter from her explains how angry she is at him for not cleaning the dishes before work. Perhaps her constant nagging did him in? Flickering gas lamps, a la Indiana Jones Adventure illuminate the dark corridors, providing an ominous setup to what will be a rip-roaring good time. In the Employees' Lounge, several of the skeletal workers still stick around, motionless but grinning. One skeleton appears dead over a card table, cards still spread out across the table, a rather suspicious assortment of cards before him. A broken bottle of moonshine sits on the floor behind him, an obvious reference to his murder. As it turns out, he had been quite the cheater in life, and whoever he was playing cards with didn't take too kindly to that. Another skeleton sits at a dusty, broken-down piano, leaning backwards - his arms have detached and become stuck to the keys. A couple of red-eyed rats explore the eye-sockets of one skeleton, while the very last skeleton finds himself sharpening a large knife, perpetually stuck staring at guests...more so of an atmospheric thing than a Marc Davis-style gag. A flight of stairs leads us, well, upstairs and through a corridor lined with black and white photographs, circa 1848 - the California Gold Rush. In these unsettling, antique store-esque photos, images of Thunder Mesa in its heyday are shown, complete with the town at its best, Thunderbird Peak covered in forest, happy miners and railroad workers presenting Big Thunder Mountain, and most eerily of all, the Ravenswood Family, long before their "tragic" deaths. The occasional screeching of rat or crackling of a floorboard comes from overhead, perhaps hinting at more than rats inhabiting this old mill. Rather unsettled, we continue down the path, eventually finding a bright light at the end of the corridor, a bright light in which leads us to perhaps the most beautiful sight we've ever seen.
A choir of ghostly voices welcomes us to Rainbow Caverns, a luscious, almost heavenly grotto of natural magic. Stalactites and stalagmites line the ceiling and floor, whilst phosphorescent pools of beauty grace the floors, the distant screeching of a bat echoing from the endless shadows. Rock-work in the shape of cowboys, Native Americans, buffalo, and other western icons pop-up all over the place, thundering waterfalls providing a stunning backdrop. A fierce, bubbling, whitewater river thunders out from a waterfall and into parts unknown, sparking our hearts with mystery and wonder. The former rot of the sawmill is gone. This is truly a wonderland of nature's own design. Despite this, the hand of man has still touched these caverns, as evident by a small cargo-shipping area nestled on either side of a gurgling underground river below. Intrigued, we continue down the path, past the...seriously, I can't even begin to describe the beauty of Rainbow Caverns in full-detail. You have to see it to believe it.
Much to our surprise, the loading dock is now home to an endless parade of the mode of transportation we shall be riding in: worn rowboats with the front section dedicated to seating and the back dedicated to smuggling, judging by the number of crates that sit near the back of the boat. The ride system is a rather simple one, utilizing a similar boat system to that of Pirates of the Caribbean. The boats are less long than Pirates’, but the flume channel is wider, thus compensating for the loss in length. The boats have four rows, each row seating two to three people. Handles are stuck to the back of each row and to each side of the seats (this one applies to only the front row). These handles are there for travelers to hang onto just in case the waters get a little rough. After all are aboard, we head off into the heart of the frontier. As our boat chugs along, natural beauty surrounds us on all sides, even more so beautiful than it appeared from the queue. The glistening water surrounds our log, the colors and lights of Rainbow Caverns reflecting off of them like a funhouse mirror. This is truly Disney magic. Sadly, our log starts to go up a tiny lift-hill and outdoors, greeted by the friendly voice of Hoot Gibson, a wise old owl who used to entertain at the post-show of the former Walt Disney Story. Anyways, as we go up the lift-hill, Hoot’s voice is heard:
“Hooo! Hooo! Howdy, everybody! Heading for a cruise ‘round the riverbend, are we? Well then, for your safety, please stay seated and keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the rowboat, and please watch your young'uns. Oh, and be sure to stow your personal belongins’ away. There are bandits ‘round these parts. Enjoy the frontier now, ya hear?”
And with that, our boat dips out of Rainbow Caverns and outdoors, gently hugging the front of Thunder Mesa. The remnants of the before-mentioned stagecoaches and early settlers are now closer than ever, judging by the fact that we're looping around the front of the rocky-gorge. A skeleton crushed between two rocks reaches his motionless arm to us, a la the skeleton reaching for water in
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. As it turns out, he's actually reaching for the crate of moonshine floating in the water. Drifting to the right, we enter the mouth of a cavern in the side of the peak, passing by the waterfall that spews from the peak’s “mouth”, often times splashing us. Rather than finding the stereotypical cavern interior, we find ourselves immersed beneath a tube-shaped night-sky, glistening stars and distant planets everywhere, almost like an IMAX screen mixed with a theatrical set. The ride’s theme music slowly fades in as an instrumental. On the horizon is the dim-light of a setting sun, luscious desert foliage, rocks, and the occasional howl of a coyote strengthening the atmosphere. For the first time, we see ol’ Hoot Gibson as he sleeps on an overhead tree branch, as in the picture to the right, before waking and looking down with a hoot.
“Hooo! Hooo! Roamin’ the ol’ frontier, are ya? No better place for a good adventure if you ask me. Some of the best adventures happen right here in the west, and nights like these remind me of the good ol’ days of cowboys and pioneers.”
With that, a shooting star flies across the sky in a brilliant flash, suddenly changing the stars into constellations resembling countless western icons. As if by magic, many of the constellations even come to life, the animals making noise, Native American children running about, etc. Our boat departs from the top of the lift-hill, gently departing forwards, down a tiny, tiny drop and into a desert.
We wind our way through the open prairie at nightfall. White clouds gently rake a periwinkle blue sky. All around, large shadowy buttes dot a landscape and open sky awash in twilight blue. The words to the ride’s theme begin to be heard. Three buffaloes sit around a trio of prairie dogs poking in-and-out of the earth, barking the “words,” even if they're just inaudible chirps. Nearby, a cowboy sings to calm his cattle under the night sky. His tune is a slow-step version of the Western River Expedition theme. The cattle join in, bellowing along with his tune. Framed in natural rock arches, coyotes howls pick up the tune. The underscore music swells. The cowboy's team rest nearby around a campfire, bringing another guitar and harmonica into the mix. Picking up the tune is the cook at the chuck wagon...and an entire chorus of cactus (classic Marc Davis)! Little do the campers notice the trio of grizzly cubs that have wandered into their campsite. Two cubs cheer on a brave third cub from among the cacti that is stealthily snagging the fish hung from a nearby clothesline. On the other side of the river is another encampment built into a rocky alcove. One cowpoke plays the banjo, blissfully singing, completely unaware of his predicament - a huge grizzly, presumably the mama of the three cubs is ready to swipe him from behind, roaring fiercely to the point that we can see the drool dripping from her toothy-maw. The other cowboy sees the bear, speechless. Frightened, he waves his arms up and down pointing, attempting to garner his companion's attention to turn around and run. Oh well.
The music continues as we enter Panner's Banks. Hoot Gibson reappears, this time wearing a lit-prospector's hat.
“Boy, this is back when the Tumbleweed Gold Mines were basically the gathering place of all the prospectors in the West. These desperate souls all wanted a piece of it, ya know? I guess greed always get the best of those human folks. Mines went bust due to it…” The miners pan for gold, humming the ride’s theme. Lit by gas lamps, four miners are kneeling along the banks of the river, shuffling their pans in the water. One of them is startled to find a pair of polka-dotted underwear in his pan. His nearby mule clutches a pan in its mouth, dipping it in the water, also looking for gold. Upon finding none, he raises the pan back up and gives a frustrated
“EEHAW!!!” before going back down. The fourth and final miner reclines on a flat-rock bed, boasting a gold tooth, dirty overalls, a hat ridden with bullet holes, and a single boot. Despite his tired face, he's singing the ride’s theme as well, joyously plucking away at his banjo. His fishing pole, held still by a rock, is cast out into the water. Every so often, the line tugs, and, ironically a fish composed of golden scales leaps up from the water, having caught onto the hook. Sadly, the miner will never realize his fortune; he loves music far too much.
Unfortunately, our boat has sailed out of Panner's Banks and into the deadliest part of any frontier adventure: the Stagecoach Robbery. Up ahead, a quintet of banditos are holding-up a stagecoach crossing a wooden bridge, the frightened passengers raising their arms in terror. Each bandito wears a bandana; as do the full-on grizzly bears that they're using as horses. A couple of mules look on curiously, as virtually every barnyard animal does in Pirates of the Caribbean. The Head Bandito wears a top hat and rides a mangy black bear much larger than the grizzlies, a bear in which has one glowing-eye, an eye patch, jagged-teeth unlike the others (so jagged that they're ripping through the bandana-mask), gallons of slobber, and a tiny bowler hat strapped to his head by miniature strings. Turning his dual guns to us, the Head Bandito gives a laugh.
“If someone finds out 'bout us, it's your head, ya hear? You never saw us, got it? I can assure you that we will meet again, amigos.” Luckily, we escape, lips-sealed.
The placid guitars turn into honky-tonk pianos, as the sounds of raucous shouting and gunfire are heard. Hoot Gibson, now wearing a cowboy hat, pops-down from nowhere, upside down.
“Ah, Dry Gulch. This is the place where all those miners went to spend their newfound fortunes. Every night was like a wild hoedown, and greed and depravity ruled the land...”
This sequence may be the most iconic part of the Western River Expedition concept. To fully understand this scene we have to discuss Mary Blair's work on the ride. It's well known that Marc wanted to use Mary Blair's art to color-style the ride. Unlike with It's A Small World, however, the ride wasn't necessarily going to end up looking like a piece of Mary Blair art. The fact that Davis would from time to time put out pieces of Western River art with similar Mary Blair bold colors has led to yet more confusion. Western River Expedition was intended mostly to be made up of rock work and desert scenery, and it was going to be WED-style stylized naturalistic rocks and scenery, with Blair vivid colors. The Dry Gulch sequence in Western River Expedition would be the height of the ride's intense color stylization.
The right side of the town set is bathed in bright blue moonlight, the houses standing out against the hue with green clapboard and yellow windows. This side of town is filled entirely with Cowboys drinking and carousing, shouting and singing. It seems as if the cowboys have had a very successful cattle drive, and, with their newfound wealth, they simply must spend it on some pointless endeavor, so why not get drunk? The festivities begin, appropriately enough, at the local saloon, where a drunk-out-of-his-mind cowboy sits atop his drunk-out-of-his-mind horse atop the general store. The cheerful cowpoke fires his guns in the air, hollering various terms considered offensive to prairie folk back in the day. His horse gives off a gleeful, hiccup-ridden neigh, followed by the occasional burp. The angry general store owner stands on one side of his shop's porch, waving his fist and screaming at his rooftop visitor while on the other side, a cowboy companion cheers on his friend, waving his hat in the air. A nearby horse tethered to the porch cheers on his horse counterpart as well. A mother attempts to cover her child's ears to spare him from the cowboy's profanity. Ironically, her elderly mother is screaming more profanity at the cowboy than he's screaming at them, waving her closed-umbrella furiously.
SHOP OWNER: Get down from there at once you no-good cowpoke!
COWBOY: Yeehaw! I've never felt this good! I'm a flying eagle!
SHOP OWNER: I'll call the cavalry on you in an instant! You piece of rat fodder.
MOTHER: Don't listen, Billy, these men are bad.
GRANDMOTHER: Hush, Sarah! Get down here you rascally, flea-bitten varmint! Curse you and your drunkard friends!
COWBOY: (Singing) The shop owner and the cowman should be friends! Oh the shop owner and the cowman should be...friends?
SHOP OWNER: I'm not your friend, you filthy son of a gun! A pox on your house!
COWBOY: I'm a cowpoke, I have no house!
MOTHER: Never become a cowboy, Billy, they're horrible men.
GRANDMOTHER: Shut up, Sarah! Your father was a cowboy and I was a cowgirl. I give-in. Stay up there you filthy cowboy! A pox on your house, Mr. Shop Owner.
SHOP OWNER: Mrs. The Kid? What happened to you?
GRANDMOTHER: I'm a cowgirl at heart, you sorry excuse for a human.
MOTHER: Mother!
The saloon itself, known as
The Gilded Lilly, features a cancan dancer on the front porch, raising her leg very high, boasting a golden slipper. Two sheepish gentlemen, surprisingly in suits, touch the slipper giggling. A nearby horse attempts to bite a carrot on the ground, but the rope tying him to a post prevents him from doing so. A special entry to the saloon labeled "SAIL-INS WELCOME" appears, guarded by a grinning Native-American wearing a floppy-hat, Navajo blanket, and a huge keg of moonshine in his hands, its top sporting a dimly-lit flame. His eyes shift around suspiciously, almost as if they were following us. The house pianist has been wheeled outside, pounding away at the keys of the honky tonk piano wildly, respectively playing the Western River Expedition theme song. A showgirl holding a rose sits atop the piano, much to the pleasure of a blushing, almost Pecos Bill-like cowboy holding his hat to his chest. The showgirl's rather burly boyfriend appears behind the blushing-poke, cracking his knuckles, ready to fight. One cowboy has fallen face-first in the mud, his rear end facing up, now the home of a chicken and her nest. Surrounded by torches, a Snake Oil salesman known as Dr. Fix-It at the end of the street demonstrates his wares with the help of a local strong-man (or rather, just a man behind a piece of wood made to look like a strong-man), with music provided by a lad and lass on banjo and trombone and a rather angry bear playing a fiddle (the bear in which is chained to his seat reluctantly, locked-in heavily).
FIX-IT: Yes, Sir, yes, Ma'am, I, Dr. Fix-It have the answer to all your problems! I present the one and only Strong-Man Potion! It will solve all your problems guaranteed. Want to impress your spouse? Want to pass school? Want to skip out on chores? Drink one drop of this tonic and your life is saved! Don't be a pig. Be a man!
GIRL: But I am a little girl. How can this help me?
FIX-IT: Do you want that dolly in the toy shop window?
GIRL: Yes!
FIX-IT: Well, you can't have it unless you're a strong-man!
GIRL: And how! I'll take twenty!
FIX-IT: Easy, little lady. It'll cost you a sum of eighteen dollars - three payments - no refunds.
GIRL: I'm sure daddy has that money. I'll write you a check!
FIX-IT: That-a girl! How about that, ladies and gentlemen? Our first customer Who's next? Who wants a bottle?
BOY: I do! I do!
FIX-IT: Son, you're a genius. What for?
BOY: I want to marry Mary Sue.
FIX-IT: Mary Sue? Why, that's a horse's name! Why marry her when you can be a strong-man forever? You don't need love!
BOY: And how! I'll take fifty!
FIX-IT: That'll only cost you one hundred dollars - five payments - no refunds!
Off to the side of Dr. Fix-It's wagon is another little stint to cheat customers out of money; “Take Your Picture with a Bear” A photographer takes a picture of a rather goofy-looking cowpoke with his arm around a huge stuffed bear.
The left side of the street is bathed in a fiery red by the setting sun. On this side, a bank robbery and gun battle is underway, the result of too much alcohol and too little authority. For starters, various shady-looking outlaws duck in-and-out from behind misplaced safes, overturned furniture, and other objects, firing away at both us and the other criminals across the way. The Union Soldier-like Cavalry have joined in on the battle, returning fire, and attempting to keep what little peace the town has left. Their brave general sits atop his proud horse, raising a cutlass high in the air screaming
"FIRE!" Only, instead of his men firing, a criminal fires at his hat, causing it to spin around a 360-degrees. The same effect happens to numerous other objects, including misplaced hats, bottles of moonshine, and just about anything else able to be pushed around by bullets. A very pretty cowgirl pokes her head out of a stable, stealthily firing at a nearby bandit's rear-end, hitting him, and making him holler (like Goofy). Robbers have pulled the entire safe out of the bank and are using it as a shield. The barber hangs out of the Tonsorial Parlor, returning fire. His customer, still with a red-and-white checkered apron round his neck and a glob of shaving cream on his face stands outside, firing back at the robbers. The Mayor opens the doors of City Hall, angrily shouting
“I will have order! As mayor of this city, I…” A gunshot is aimed towards him. He looks at us and simply says,
“You’re on your own.” And with that, he goes back inside. The sheriff cuddles up to his horse a la Ichabod Crane, unaware of the clearly-visible tunnel being dug beneath him, leading out from beneath the jailhouse and into freedom. The sounds of the escaping prisoners can be heard digging away underground. His Calamity Jane-style deputy hides behind a building, taking an absurdly long time to choose her targets. And, at the end of the street is none other than Mr. Death, the local mortician, eager at all the chances his business will get once the fire ceases.
The Blue/Red split that mirrors the tone of the scenes found on either side of the river is the boldest stylization found on the ride, and even more remarkable for being conceived in the form of a sunset.
Boats turn a corner towards the left and pass through a narrow canyon between two buttes. The sounds of the honky-tonk piano and gunfire fade as now pounding native drums take up the rhythm of the Western River Expedition theme. The transition out of the Dry Gulch scene and into the next is made by passing under a bridge, where a cowboy and Native American stand. Whilst the cowboy fires off his guns and screams the song lyrics, the neighboring Native American plugs his ears and keeps a single eye-open, not amused by the unnecessary sound.
Native American drums and chanting are heard in the distance as we enter a dense pine forest on the outskirts of town. Smoke can be seen arising from among the trees. Hoot, now wearing a feather headdress, reappears, even having war paint on his cheeks, wings folded.
“These natives are summoning the Thunderbird, the only bird capable to calm the greed of men. But be warned: a storm is coming…” Over to the western shore is a Plains Indians Village, where the natives are partaking in a rain dance ceremony of sorts. These stunning animatronics chant and pound drums, some even dancing as the fire produces smoke-made images of the water and the sins of mankind. An incoming storm can be heard, complete with rumbling thunder, a crackling in the underbrush, and a cold breeze. A shaman dances wildly to the native sound. In the distance, another rain dance is being held on a butte, and it's remarkably effective, sending cascading rain down... atop only the butte, at first. Water pours down the side of the butte, widening into flowing rivers and rushing towards the boats. As the sounds of the storm get louder and more dramatic, the friendly Chief attempts to warn us from proceeding:
“No. It’s too dangerous. Please do not go further.” But it's too late. The water has become rapid, the storm has begun, and rain, thunder, and lightning surround us from all sides. Storm clouds glower overhead and bolts of lightning tear the sky as rain can be seen falling on the distant plain. The little boats move slowly towards a dark canyon straight ahead.
Thunder and lightning rip the sky far above as we slip slowly into the narrow space. Flood water begins to pour into the canyon from the buttes above to the left and right, spattering on jagged rocks. The boats turn another corner and begin chugging up a huge waterfall. The eyes of unknown animals flash in the dark around them. Red-eyed wolves begin to appear among the foliage, snarling, howling, and growling hungrily. At one point, even a mountain lion appears, springing-out from absolutely nowhere, creating quite a scare. In a clearing among the treetops, the legendary Thunderbird comes into sight with a mighty screech, flapping its wings and creating a huge bolt of lightning. Arriving at the top of the waterfall, the boats move slowly through a great forest at the top of the butte on the edges of the plain. The rain continues to fall, but the rain dance was too late. In a flash of light, the lightning strikes a tree, causing it to burst into flame. In a matter of seconds, the whole forest is on fire. In this mayhem, our boat has been spinning around, tossed and turned by the rocky waves, and we have begun chugging uphill, suspenseful music filling the air. The tall trees have already begun to topple and the boats pass below several as they creak and groan, flames dancing atop each one. On top of that, the rocky waves have made our boat face backwards. To make matters worse, the banditos have returned with their bears, guns pointed. Right as we reach the top, the Head Bandito gives us a word of friendly farewell:
“End of the line, amigos. There is no turning back now. Adios!” And with that, in a style similar to the former Maelstrom attraction at Epcot, we nearly fall off Thunderbird Peak, before, facing forward once again, dropping down into the inky blackness below.
We then make a small turn and find ourselves back in Rainbow Caverns, this time paying witness to a spectacular display of fountains. Hoot Gibson glides in on a little rowboat, dressed as a fisherman, complete with line cast in the water and pole in his wings.
“Ain't nothing like a western adventure, eh? Oh, but don't be sad. There'll always be a day for another adventure on the western frontier. And say, looks like those old banditos got was coming to 'em! Ol' Thunderbird sure agrees.” Rounding a bend, we find the nest of the now-sleeping Thunderbird, an impressive creature, caught once again in her rumored-to-be eternal slumber. The notorious banditos on the other hand have gotten what was coming to them. On the opposite side of the nest (to the starboard side), the banditos have all been tied-up to a large post, surrounded by chirping baby Thunderbirds, all reaching their necks up hungrily. The squealing banditos raise their feet up perpetually, not wanting to be “baby's first breakfast.” A little ways down, the beast-of-burden-bears have removed their bandana-masks and fallen asleep in awkward positions, joyously enjoying hibernation in happiness. And with that, our boat pulls back into the loading area; we disembark, head up a flight of stone stairs, and head back outside Thunder Mesa, ready for a new adventure on the frontier, or maybe even a return trip on the Western River Expedition.
