The two guys that were mentioned earlier with the juggling/comedy/balancing on chairs act is one of the most amazing things i have ever seen. I have most of it on tape, and it was definately the best way to get ready for Fantasmic. Hands down.
Here's their lines:
http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/diziago/delmoe.html
Some of the best lines:
Moe: I bet there's a hundred people in here. Oh, I got an idea. <
speaks to the audience on his left> Everybody on this side over here, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!
Left Side of Audience: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!
Moe: I just wanted to say hey.
Delman: Put the ladder down.
Moe: Put it down?
Delman: Put it down.
Moe: <
Moe begins yelling at the ladder> You are so ugly! And you're tall, and skinny, and you're a loser! Loser, loser, loser! Lo -
Delman: Do
not try that at home.
Moe: Oh, no.
Delman: Nooooo! Go to Grandma's house. Bust up
her place.
Moe: Her furniture is probably old anyway.
Delman: Why
is there no smoking in the theater?
Moe: 'Cause there's a low ceiling.
Delman: Ohhhhhhh. <
looking up> It looks so real!
Moe: Yeah, it looks like the sky, doesn't it?
Delman: Especially that moon up there.
Moe: Yup.
Delman: Hey, that must be that Disney Magic they're always tellin' us about.
Delman: Oh yeah. And if you got one o' those little red dot laser pointer things, you cannot use them things in here.
Moe: Nooooo.
Delman: Nooooo.
Moe: Tell 'em why.
Delman: You see, there's a lot o' real technical stuff out there on the mountain, and if you hit the wrong spot at the wrong time with your laser thing ...
Moe: Boom!
Delman: Kaboom!
Moe: No show.
Delman: No show. They gotta cancel the whole show. 'Cause you blew up the mountain. Yeah, I know, it'll be upsetting if the whole show gets cancelled. But it's okay, 'cause we're gonna know who it was with that laser thing, and we're gonna make
that person stand out back and say good night to the rest of us leaving early.
Delman: Yeah, Moe, the chair trick is
better close to the people.
Moe: Why is that?
Delman: 'Cause people is softer than concrete.
Moe: Oh yeah.
Moe: Hey, wait'll I say "Hey, people" -
Audience: Hey, WHAT??
Moe: Stop it! They're testing me, Delman.
Delman: Are you passing or failing?
Moe: I think I'm failing.
Delman: Why don't you get Hooked on Phonics? Worked for me!
Delman: Man, I love that flash photography.
Moe: Yeah, it helps me see better for about an eighth of a second.
Delman: Hey, it's kinda like juggling in a discotheque, you know?
Delman and Moe sing together like the BeeGees: Ha, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive! Ha, ha, ha, ha! <
Delman and Moe stop singing, but some members of the audience keep singing "stayin' alive, stayin' alive.">
Moe: I didn't know the 70's came back.
Moe: Give me a fancy one!
Delman: Okay, here it is. <
they attempt a fancy move, but drop a couple of clubs>
Delman: Hey, they didn't notice! They didn't notice! Just throw somethin'! Throw something! They didn't notice yet! Just throw something! <
Moe throws his hat> Oh, good idea, good idea, throw something! Throw something! <
Delman starts to take off his suspenders and lower his pants, and the crowd whistles and hollers, causing him to stop> I was gonna throw the pants, I was gonna throw the pants! I think they noticed!
Moe: Well, they noticed
that! <
The final fireworks from Epcot's IllumiNations show are clearly visible from the Fantasmic! amphitheatre at this point of the preshow>
Delman: Oh quick, don't look away! There's Fantasmic! right behind you.
Moe: Oh yeah.
Delman: Thank you, that was the show. Thanks for coming. Good night. Bye.