Episode 1 Reward Challenge: A Totally New Tower
Critiques
Fantastic job these past few days everyone! I know time constraints restricted everyone, so props to everyone for working so hard this week!
Also, apologies if I make a mistake in critiques, as I'm kind of in a rush to finish these.
@Ranky64
Great job this challenge! We'll start with the good. I think you did a good job of removing any Twilight Zone references, which was part of the challenge and you didn't have any holes in your story lines. Also, I absolutely LOVE the idea of a steampunk Tower of Terror. However, there were most certainly things that stood out to me as a little out of place. How does the Steampunk theme fit in with the rest of Sunset Boulevard? I feel like a steam punk attraction would only work if it were in its own steam punk land or mini-land. How do Figment and Dreamfinder fit in with the storyline of the attraction and what's their purpose? Also, why is Mickey there if he has nothing to do with the story line of the attraction? In addition, I never have really liked story lines that incorporate elements of Walt Disney Imagineering abandoning or creating attractions. I think it works better when story lines stay away from the people who are creating it. Finally, while I feel like your idea was there, you could have gone into more detail. Finally, I think your project could have benefited from some images. Overall, great potential in this project, but there were still things left to be desired which in the end could cost you this reward.
@IDInstitute
Fantastic concept IDI! Let's start is the good stuff. First, I really liked the name. I think that it fits well with Sunset Boulevard's theme. I think that you took a big risk in taking out the attraction aspect of Tower of Terror. I think that this both has worked for and against you. While it certainly is a unique idea (points for that), DHS desperately (and I mean desperately) needs rides. At the moment, there's only around 4. Even with the new expansions, there'll only be 5 attractions added. Compared to the 40+ attractions at MK, that's still only 8 rides with your proposed plan. I think that something that could have worked in your favor would to have been extend the building to include a restaurant but also update the ride. Also, most of these rooms seem pretty small to house a dining venue (especially the library and lobby). Would these rooms be expanded? But, besides that, I think that your idea is pretty solid. I think that the idea of quick service by day and table service by night could work well, but would there be a central place to get food or order during the afternoon? How would the service work? Would they serve your food to you on a cart. Also, what would the menu be like? I think there's a lot of missed potential on this project, but that's to be expected considering the time restraints of this project. In sum, superb concept, but lack of detail could be just enough to cost you this challenge.
@IAmNotAHufflepuff
Stellar job this challenge Hufflepuff! Let's see how you did... First, I love your writing style. Very descriptive and great use of adjectives and superb flow to your writing. Also, I think you played it safe this round with keeping the attraction relatively the same, and I think that it played off. You didn't have the most creative submission, but you still were descriptive as if you were describing the attraction to someone that had never heard of it before. Also, I liked the idea of adding holograms to the top level when the vehicle comes out of the shaft. However, there were some flaws. In addition, I enjoyed how you added little things that weren't necessarily needed like the gift shop, a nice touch. I didn't really enjoy your decision to remove narration from the attraction altogether. Personally, I believe the attraction really benefits from the narration and provides an eerie commentary of what's going on. Also, I honestly believe you could have been A LOT more creative with this challenge rather than just simply removing the Twilight Zone references. There's so many opportunities with this challenge, but I don't think you were able to hit any of those. Overall, stellar writing, but your lack of creativity may be enough to cost you this reward.
@DSquared
Good proposal this challenge DSquared! Let's start with the good. I think you took a big risk in using Roger Rabbit. I believe that it paid off. I can imagine it fitting well in with Sunset Boulevard, as Animation/Cartoons are very "hollywood"-y.
Unlike some other submissions, you took this challenge in a unique route, and that is greatly appreciated. However, there were some flaws with the attraction. Firstly, while you decided to change the word "hollywood" and paint over the burnt parts of the building, the architectural style of the facade does not match what your describing the lobby and queue as AT ALL. I believe that you would be benefitted from a complete facade redo. Also, you never really mentioned any back story or how the story of the attraction is explained to guests, which I think your proposal definitely needed. Finally, your attraction segment was very vague. For me, it was impossible to figure our where in the current attraction things were happened in, as the formatting and language weren't exactly clear. Also, your proposal was full of spelling and grammatical errors, which I think could have been prevented had you done a few proof-reads. Overall, good job and good for you for taking a risk, but many flaws throughout the proposal had me wondering if you were deserving of this reward.
@JokersWild
Great project this challenge Jokers! Let's see how you did. Firstly, I really liked the backstory. It was very interesting to read and was definitely fresh. However, the fact that your going into the hotel is never really set up properly IMO. There's really no high stakes if you just say "many people have gone missing... will you?", as there's no backstory on what happened to those people who went missing. Also, I really liked the idea of expanding the lobby and having guests travel deeper into it, as I feel that could be extremely cool to see, so well done there. But, then the guests go into the tea room and gardens and it's never really explained how they get into the elevators and where they go in between. Finally, I feel like your lack of time led to MANY missed opportunities with the actual ride. There was so much potential with your backstory, and all we got were bullet points. Overall, nice first half of a concept, but your lack of time to finish may have cost you reward.
@MonorailRed
Amazing concept this week Red! Let's start with the best things about this proposal. I LOVED the idea of Goosebumps. I've never read any of the books, but it seems very fitting in this attraction IMO. It makes sense to replace 1 eerie property with another, which was the route I was hoping a lot of people would take. Also, your writing was fantastic, as it was detailed and full of rich words. I enjoyed the interactive queue, perfect for this kind of setting. In addition, great pre-show and build up to the attraction. However, I'm not sure if the paintings would work for telling the backstory, as some people may have passed by them or not paid them any attention. But, if someone did stop to notice these paintings, this amazing backstory would give them well, Goosebumps.
Also, I LOVED the scenes in this attraction and the narration was spectacular, well done. Something that I did find a little weird was the name. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Also, while I liked the map, it took me a little while to figure out which line was pointing to which building
. In addition, I would have liked to see you mention any changes to the facade. In sum, spectacular proposal Red, but some small flaws may be enough to cost you the reward challenge this week.
@Perry2x2
Fantastic concept Perry! Let's see how you did... In general, you really thought of something unique and I definitely enjoyed it. The name of your revamped tower didn't really roll of the tongue. Something incorporating Psycho could have been cool. But, the backstory was VERY interesting and I really liked it. The realism aspect is what was a major plus of your proposal. You didn't simply remove the Twilight Zone elements, but added a new backstory while keeping many of the attractions elements the same which I definitely can see Disney doing. Adding on, you didn't keep the actual ride too similar, as I really enjoyed the additions to the 13th floor scene. But, I think that you could have been a tad bit more creative with changes to the facade and queue (like make it interactive), but the way your story is laid out I'm not sure how you would do that. Overall, great proposal, but some flaws may prevent you from winning this week.
@spacemt354
Amazing proposal this challenge space! Let's start with the good. First, I really enjoyed the article at the top, really interesting presentation to explain the timeline of the project's creation, it was a really creative touch. Also, your research of the attraction and references to The Twilight Zone really shows in your proposal, as you detailed every reference that would be removed. Thirdly, I LOVED the blueprints, they really helped me visualize your version of the attraction. Adding on to that, your art work in general was fantastic, including the last drawing, which I was surprisingly impressed by. However, there were some flaws. The first one that I noticed was a lack of clear focus. While some proposals incorporated extra details and elements, I think you went kind of overboard with these. I really didn't need a full list of new merchandise and all of the details about the movie and the timeline weren't really needed. Secondly, if the entire ride is a parallel of the movie (that's what I got out of it), then wouldn't guests know what was coming? I don't know, I just don't think that having the ride be exactly like a movie works as well as having a ride be in the same realm as an IP like the previous incarnation of the ride. Overall, fantastic concept this week space, but some flaws could prevent you from receiving a reward.
@Flippin'Flounder
Man... I don't really know what to say for this one. I'm very disappointed. First of all, it doesn't meet The Sole Imagineer's 5 sentence minimum requirement. But, my main issue was
detail. I know nothing about your redo except a little bit of backstory. No changes to the facade, queue or attraction? I expected more from you, to be honest. There was absolutely no creativity or effort in this proposal. It probably took you less than 30 seconds to type this. I know that this sounds harsh, but it's the truth.
@tcool123
Fantastic submission tcool! Let's see how you did! First, I really enjoyed the new backstory. It retained to the original attraction perfectly, while still being fresh and exciting. Secondly, I wish that you had added more elements to the queue to make it retain to your theme better. Also, I would have liked to see something about the investigator in your backstory, because he kind of appears out of nowhere. In addition, who is the little girl in the 1st scene and why is she significant? You never specified that in your backstory. FInally, there really weren't that many changes to the attraction itself, which I think was a missed opportunity. However, I really don't have problems with what you
did do with the ride. Overall, great job, but your several minor flaws may put your chances of victory in jeopardy.
@TheOriginalTiki
And now for our final project! Let's get started! First of all, I'm not sure how I feel about the name. Hollywood Heights seems a little short and doesn't really foreshadow any themes or events in the attraction. However, your writing is fantastic Tiki and it really conveys this new version of the attraction and its story well. In addition, I LOVED the backstory. It was very detailed and unique. One of the reasons why I liked it was because it tries to prove someone's innocence and not just explore past events, which gives it new layers. However, the idea of "Ghost Hunters" sounds a little out of place, so a different name could have worked better, IMO. Also, I really enjoyed the idea of a ballroom. I think that it works extremely well with your backstory, well done. Something that I thought was underused was the first scene on the "9th floor". There really wasn't any point to it and I wished you had incorporated it more into your backstory. The 5th dimension scene is where things turn to just okay, IMO. All of a sudden, this idol which was previously unmentioned appears and it feels really out of place IMO. Then, having Harry cut the cords after all, which I finds contradicts the story even if the idol ends up controlling him. A final flaw of mine is that you never specified how the drop sequence would work. Would it just be 2 drops? If the cords were cut, how would it rise back up if there were more than 2 drops? Also, would the big doors on the side of the building open up? Overall, fantastic proposal, but some quirks may cost you this reward challenge.
