Well it's a new month and with a new month comes a ranking nobody but me cares about! July was interesting because I left my "new" job and went back to my old one, but somehow I ended up being busier? Crazy. Add onto that so many of the new releases I really wanted to see (cough Oddity and Didi cough) weren't in any theaters anywhere near me and we had just a pretty quiet month. I still managed 10 new releases though, so let's go through em!
#10- Space Cadet
[Watched on Prime Video]
This movie absolutely sucked! A combination of extreme cringe comedy mixed with millennial TikTok cringe stuffed this
Legally Blonde ripoff far past any sense of enjoyment. Emma Roberts has never been a particularly good actor, but here she is completely insufferable and I regret spending any time with this slop. Even my girlfriend (the reason I watched this who is a movie normie and never "hates" any movie) told me this thing was a waste of time. Don't watch it.
#09- The Real Bros of Simi Valley: The Movie
[Watched on The Roku Channel]
I've not seen the Facebook series (something I didn't think I'd ever say in the year of our lord 2024) but you don't need to for this dumb trashy reality tv series parody. Unfortunately, I don't like trashy reality tv enough to make this bearable as it too is stuffed with cringe comedy and it's just too much. I don't really like reality tv parodies (I'm not even a big
Trailer Park Boys guy) so this did nothing for me. I'm sure it hit with somebody, the Letterboxd reviews trend very positive, but it just wasn't my thing.
I also watched it before the Cody Ko stuff came out, but he is in it for anyone avoiding that.
#08- Despicable Me 4
[Watched in theaters]
It's time to let this franchise die. In typical Illumination fashion, they made a totally and completely movie with all the things it needs like a plot and scenes and also credits but unfortunately, they forgot to make it good or entertaining. Instead of doing anything interesting with Gru being a double agent or the girls growing up or Gru having a baby son, they just did a series of
Family Guy cutaway gags and stitched them together into a movie that iPad kids will probably love, but for everyone else, I can't see this being a fondly remembered movie.
#07- The Imaginary
[Watched on Netflix]
What is up with 2024 and imaginary friend movies, this is the third one we've gotten already. Either way, I think
The Imaginary is probably better than
Imaginary and
IF, but not really by much. It's a cute enough little movie that harkens to Studio Ghibli films that many of these execs worked on and so the animation is really solid. Mr. Bunting, the villain of the story, is genuinely intimidating at parts, and did I mention the animation is good? But really, this slows waaaaay down in the second act and becomes just another imaginary friend movie so while it's decent and beautiful, it's nothing really to write home about.
#06- Cirque du Soleil: Without a Net
[Watched on Prime Video]
My obligatory monthly documentary but this time it's not about animals! I enjoy
Cirque du Soleil quite a bit, it's one of those cultural things we never talk about much but is really impressive and interesting to watch and so a doc about them was something I was definitely intrigued by. This isn't really about the Cirque as much as it is a "recovering from the pandemic" movie (which makes sense as it premiered back in 2022) so that was pretty disappointing, but it was still a solid enough doc looking at the human spirit and overcoming obstacles and for that it can get sixth place.
#05- Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F
[Watched on Netflix]
2024 has had a shocking amount of decent legacy sequels (another coming up soon), so when
Beverly Hills Cop: Axel F came out, I didn't know what to expect. It turned out to be a pretty decent legacy sequel! Eddie Murphy doesn't exactly feel like Axel Foley of old and I hate one aspect of his character A LOT in this movie, but the action is fun and the mystery is too, so I'd say it's worth a watch if you like cop detective action films from the 80s and 90s.
#04- MaXXXine
[Watched in theaters]
I'm not the biggest fan of
X or
Pearl, so I went into
MaXXXine with more tempered expectations and I think that worked in its favor with me. I really loved the sleezy and grimy feel of this movie, I loved the pulp and camp in it too with the practical effects and the neon pink blood. Where this movie fell down a bit for me was the final act where it became too much of an action movie and the fact it really didn't have any horror or slasher elements to it. Of the three films, it's the only one I don't think I'd call a true "horror" film. I know
@TheOriginalTiki will read that and laugh because he knows what my #1 is already and feels the same about that, but you know.
#03- Deadpool & Wolverine
[Watched in theaters]
Deadpool to me is a character made for the 2010s and spilling out beyond that is maybe a bit much. That said, I did laugh a lot at his first foray into the MCU and I enjoyed his teamup with Hugh Jackman's Wolverine. I, like everyone else, found
Logan to be the perfect sendoff to that character, but I think they did enough to justify why he was here and that worked for me. Really, this movie feels like an event film in the same way
Spider-Man: No Way Home, Avengers: Endgame, and
Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness ended up being where it's big hype in the theater full of people, but the feeling doesn't hit the same on rewatch. It's fun and funny and fine, but it's definitely not what's going to "Save the MCU".
#02- Twisters
[Watched in theaters]
I f***ing LOVED
Twisters, like to the point in any other month it likely would've been my #1 movie. It was an absolute blast from start to finish with some of the most fun disaster action I've seen in a very long time. It's dumb, yes, but it's a blast and I highly recommend watching it. I caught it in D-Box and while that's now gone to make room for
Deadpool & Wolverine, I think it should've stayed in that format because it's perfect for it!
#01- Longlegs
[Watched in theaters]
I might be in the minority here, but I adored
Longlegs. I found it to be terrifying in an atmospheric sense with a performance from Nic Cage that I found incredibly frightening. It's not the scariest movie of the year in terms of jump scares or imagery, but the atmosphere is what does it for me. I rocked with the supernatural stuff and while I do wish the ending was less expository, I can hand wave it away because I liked what it did. Overall, if you didn't like
Longlegs, you're wrong!
So now we're into August. I already have my first showing tonight with
Trap because a friend of mine wanted to see it badly. For what else is coming out that I'm really looking forward to, we do have
Cuckoo, but number one is easily
Alien Romulus which I hope brings
Alien right back to horror!