MCParradox
Well-Known Member
Phew, really chuffed with my comments, and it looks like everyone else did really well too! Well done everyone, roll on round two!
Nice concept. Here’s some feedback: The integration of Guardians of the Galaxy is a good thought for Tomorrowland. The story is really well put together and the presentation is very thorough and detailed. Was some of that original artwork? The gift shop is great as well. The visuals are helpful. Here are some things to improve on: With a lot of detail, sometimes you can run the risk of contradiction. For instance ride length and hourly capacity. At one point it says the ride is 10 mins, but in the statistics section it says 12 mins. Also, are you using two theaters? If the main show area only holds 100 guests per show, how can the max capacity per show be 250 guests? These are minor things but it takes the reader out of focus. Nevertheless, great project!
@tcool
A great presentation. Here’s some feedback: The style of the presentation was very well done. Each segment was organized efficiently and seemed very professional. There were a lot of good ideas in here, and the décor/theater descriptions were awesome. Also, the script was quite funny. A few things to improve on: The plot is a bit confusing, which might derive from a lack of understanding of the source material. Is this a Stitch concept or something novel? Because there were Stitch items throughout the show, but the show seemed to be about something else. A background paragraph or two describing Mistoria and what the ride was going to be about could have definitely helped. In addition, just check for grammar/syntax in some cases so it’s easier for the reader to follow. Other than that, it was very well done!
Yeah, there were a few things, but I didn't think there were any major problems. I think you did a good job overall!@IDInstitute, I appreciate the kind words but I think you're being waaaay too kind on my story. That was definitely the big weak point for me. I can think of about a dozen plot holes in that thing off the top of my head that I would have liked to have ironed out (to tell you the truth...I literally FORGOT about the conflict with the three-headed pterodactyl and wrote in Abigail defeating it with a laser at the last minute ) but yea it was fun coming up with something completely original, with brand new characters and everything. Given more time I would have definitely fleshed out the Butterfly Corporation as well as give more ramifications for traveling through time, but it turned out alright I guess.
Whoops! Sorry, I forgot to mention this. Yep, that one Show Room image is original artwork. I drew it yesterday.Was some of that original artwork?
All projects were very good, and the only reason that they are placed into a ranked order was for the next Session challenge. So if you're ranked at the bottom and feel you shouldn't be don't worry, because it doesn't put you at a disadvantage in the next challenge.Not to be that guy, but might I ask why I was ranked dead last? I mean...I know that my project wasn't quite complete, but it seemed as though you were receptive to it in your critique. At least more so than some other projects. Not trying to be a sore loser, nor am I saying it wasn't deserved. I'm just curious, really.
When can we expect to see the next project? I have to head out soon and I want to know how long I have to wait.
Just an fyi, IDI will be back in a bit. We like to go over the Session post and edit/proofread before we post it so if you're waiting for it, I would check back in an hour or soIt's almost ready.... Just doing some finishing touches!
Cool. That makes total sense. I was mainly just curious. Thanks for the response.All projects were very good, and the only reason that they are placed into a ranked order was for the next Session challenge. So if you're ranked at the bottom and feel you shouldn't be don't worry, because it doesn't put you at a disadvantage in the next challenge.
In regards to your project, it would have definitely been much higher in the standings if it was complete. I think the general consensus was projects that were complete, even if a somewhat incomplete project was very good, deserved the spot above it. Honestly, I feel like when you posted it was being rushed it made the incomplete ending more apparent when IDI and myself were reading them. But as I said before, it's not putting you at a disadvantage.
Writing critiques is a pain. @IDInstitute has now learned this.I will never be able to host one of these, I don't even have the patience to look through everyones critiques
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