Struggling with anxiety over leaving children and considering cancelling WDW - help?

[ppete1975]

If youre asking the question, my assumption is you would be looking at your phones every few minutes, checking social feeds and worrying. IF thats true, then dont go. Still go on a trip and test the water, maybe a day trip or an overnight trip. 8 days is alot without the anxiety, add it in and you wont have as much fun as you should.

 

[GraysonsDad]

Take them with you...my son learned to walk at WDW- specifically Coronado Springs Conference Center during the Wine & Dine 1/2 Marathon packet pick-up back in 2008. He was 9 months old at the time.

 

[jloucks]

I know they will be taken good care of, we are just worried they will become homesick or miss us too much, or impact our attachment.

That is not what I would be worried about. If those are your concerns, you are overthinking it.

Medical emergencies, especially those caused by negligence, would be my concern. But if they were great parents, and they still have all their wits, you are overthinking it.

And then there are political concerns. Did you ask the parents to watch your kids, or did they volunteer? If they volunteered, you are overthinking it.

Those are some high-maintenance ages you have there, making 8 days a very big ask. ...but if you didn't ask, it is all good.

And, even if you did ask, you can always compensate them appropriately. Send them on a cruise or something they would like to do in appreciation. Shoot, even if they volunteered you might consider it as a sign of appreciation of their effort.


...or just take them.

 

[jloucks]

I've actually cancelled my trip numerous times because of our dog. Prior to getting him, we never missed a year, but now, every time it gets close, the guilt over boarding him sets in, and I find myself on the computer postponing everything.

He's 2 and 1/2 years old (we got him at 8 weeks old) and hasn't ever spent a night without us. He's had some day care sessions, which went well, but never overnight.

I completely understand your dilemma.

I'm currently booked (flight/hotel/rental car/tickets & parks) for October 30. We'll see if it happens!

We've done that.

This is why we are opting to be dog owners no longer. (were not getting rid of the dogs, we are just not replacing them anymore).

We decided, morally, you cannot have a travel & vacation lifestyle while simultaneously placing your dogs in boarding houses every time you want to take a trip. Well, that and we both work full time w' commute, and leaving them alone 12 hours a day also feels morally problematic.

 

[Spookie2018]

We've done that.

This is why we are opting to be dog owners no longer. (were not getting rid of the dogs, we are just not replacing them anymore).

We decided, morally, you cannot have a travel & vacation lifestyle while simultaneously placing your dogs in boarding houses every time you want to take a trip. Well, that and we both work full time w' commute, and leaving them alone 12 hours a day also feels morally problematic.

Luckily, I work from home and my wife isn't currently working, so this is the only time I have such a dilemma. It doesn't make it easier though!

Great reply! Many people never consider the dog's experience.

 

[Spookie2018]

When my cat was alive (especially when she got older and had health issues) I couldn’t stomach the thought of boarding her (she was a rescue cat with anxiety issues from her prior circumstances so that played a role too.)

Any chance you could leave the dog with a friend or relative? That always set my mind at ease much more.

He's a Siberian Huskey / American Eskimo mix (2 years old) with VERY high energy. It would be A LOT to ask someone who isn't used to dealing with that kind of dog

 

[Spookie2018]

I get this.

Now it's our cat. But we board him with our cat only vet and it's wonderful. He takes medication everyday, so I know he's in great hands. They send us texts and pictures about twice a day, he has his own big room and they just love on him all day. I dread the days before we drop him off, always want to cancel, but once he's there and we are on our way we have a great trip knowing he's well taken care of. We board him 10 or 11 nights each time.

Try boarding your dog for a couple nights before you go, by the second day most pets are usually acclimated to where they are staying. This would give you a good idea of how he'll do and maybe make you feel better?

My advice would be don't read the internet, which of course is full of horror stories about pet boarding, especially cats! In reality, most pets do just fine. Do they love it? Probably not. Will they get over it once you are home? Absolutely! Don't miss out on vacations, they are important.

And if I'm this crazed about a cat, I don't know what I'd be like with a baby!

I thought about "test boarding" him to make me feel less anxious, but then I started to feel guilty over having him stay at a facility solely as a means of making myself feel better.

 

[DisneyHead123]

He's a Siberian Huskey / American Eskimo mix (2 years old) with VERY high energy. It would be A LOT to ask someone who isn't used to dealing with that kind of dog

Ah, understandable. He’s a handsome guy!

 

[Smiley/OCD]

We've done that.

This is why we are opting to be dog owners no longer. (were not getting rid of the dogs, we are just not replacing them anymore).

We decided, morally, you cannot have a travel & vacation lifestyle while simultaneously placing your dogs in boarding houses every time you want to take a trip. Well, that and we both work full time w' commute, and leaving them alone 12 hours a day also feels morally problematic.

When we first adopted our dogs over 10 years ago, we did board them for one week long Disney trip…way way too much $$$.
We have a six foot high lockable fence all around the yard and spent 400 bucks for an electric doggie door. An extra 50 for a battery backup in case the power goes out. Paid two neighbor kids to come in and feed them and give them water…worked out great and did that a few times…as far as the kids go, take them there overnight and see how they do, get them used to it…I’m sure they’ll be fine…

 

[dreday3]

I thought about "test boarding" him to make me feel less anxious, but then I started to feel guilty over having him stay at a facility solely as a means of making myself feel better.

Well it's not just for you, it's also for your dog. You'll help your dog get comfortable other places besides your home (and with other people besides you). Have him spend the night at a friend's place if you can, so you will see your dog will be just fine without you for a few days.

My friend drops her dog off at her dog hotel and that dogs runs to them and doesn't look back at her.

 

[JIMINYCR]

To the OP....
Yes leaving your children for the first time... its normal to feel anxious and you worry with fearful thoughts. But all parents go through it when they have to experience that seperation for the first time. You trust your wifes parents? You know they were good parents to her? You will be in contact with them? You know they are able to handle any circumstances that may arise? Theyve had contact with the kids in the past and everything was OK? You will leave them with lots and lots of info? The answers of yes to all of these will help you realize the kids will be OK. Its normal to worry but you must for the health of your marriage and relationship have some alone time and enjoy each other. When you return you will realize how refreshing it was to get away. Your wife deserves a break from all shes doing at home and the kids responsibilities shes had for this period of time.

 

[NickMaio]

My wife and I booked an 8 day WDW vacation for the two of us back in December for this upcoming August, and we have really enjoyed planning it. However, the closer the trip comes, the more we are getting anxious over leaving our two kids (who will be 14 months and 3 years old).

They will be staying with my wife's parents who they see multiple times a week and are comfortable with. I know they will be taken good care of, we are just worried they will become homesick or miss us too much, or impact our attachment. My wife is also doing her best to wean our almost 1 year old onto straw cups as he doesn’t take bottles well. He eats solids well, but doesn’t always like drinking milk from cups.

Are we just overthinking this, or is 8 days too long to be away?

If possible take them with you.
We took our little guys starting when they were both 10 months.

Just a thought

 

[graphite1326]

My wife and I booked an 8 day WDW vacation for the two of us back in December for this upcoming August, and we have really enjoyed planning it. However, the closer the trip comes, the more we are getting anxious over leaving our two kids (who will be 14 months and 3 years old).

They will be staying with my wife's parents who they see multiple times a week and are comfortable with. I know they will be taken good care of, we are just worried they will become homesick or miss us too much, or impact our attachment. My wife is also doing her best to wean our almost 1 year old onto straw cups as he doesn’t take bottles well. He eats solids well, but doesn’t always like drinking milk from cups.

Are we just overthinking this, or is 8 days too long to be away?

They wouldn't enjoy it anyway. Nor would they rmember it. Go, makei it an adult trip and have a good time. A few years from now you can take them and and make it a fun trip for all four of you kids.

 

[MickeyCB]

I like the idea of 4-5 days people here have posted as a compromise.
Save the money from the other 4 or so days, and use this trip for adult fun and to check out the things you think they would like with the plan to bring them back with you next year or so.

 

[LeighM]

I've actually cancelled my trip numerous times because of our dog. Prior to getting him, we never missed a year, but now, every time it gets close, the guilt over boarding him sets in, and I find myself on the computer postponing everything.

He's 2 and 1/2 years old (we got him at 8 weeks old) and hasn't ever spent a night without us. He's had some day care sessions, which went well, but never overnight.

I completely understand your dilemma.

I'm currently booked (flight/hotel/rental car/tickets & parks) for October 30. We'll see if it happens!

As a devoted pet owner, I understand the dilemma. My mom used to watch my dog for me when she was healthy but after she passed away, I had to cancel a few trips if I couldn't find a friend to stay at my house. Can you find a pet sitter that you trust to stay in your house with them? After I moved away from my hometown, I found some good sitters on Rover who work remotely who do pet sitting for extra income. If your dog is only 2 and a half years old with no health issues that require special attention, I would start looking for house/pet sitters now and get him used to them being there. That's what I did with my Pip and he was fine while we were away. The last vacation we took was for only 3 nights in 2021 when my friend could come and stay with him. He didn't like being away from us then because he was getting too old - plus he had gotten sick a few days prior to us leaving and it was too late to cancel everything so he was feeling extra needy. Now that he's almost 17, completely deaf, and almost blind with a life threatening illness we don't leave him home alone for very long. My advice is to travel now while you can because when your pets get old, you're not going anywhere LOL. If you live within driving distance, you can take your dog with you and stay at one of the pet friendly resorts. You can stay at Riverside and have the dog with you in the evening but can take him to the boarding facility across the street for the day if you think he'll bark while you're gone.

 

[HerefortheFood]

To answer some questions:
1) This trip was meant to be a mom & dad trip only (no kids - we never intended to take them). To take them in August with the heat seems really unwise and I don't think we would enjoy ourselves at all.
2) We've already bought 5 park day tickets so the trip has to be 5 days at least (fly in really early, fly out really late) unless we sack a park day ticket as a sunk cost.
3) My wife originally wanted to do 4-5 days and I thought that would be too much running around (more of a checklist than a vacation) so I convinced her to go for longer because we might as well enjoy the vacation rather than run around like maniacs.
4) What's hard is that my brother and sister in law went to New Zealand for 2.5 weeks when their kids were 3 and 2 (compared to 2.5 weeks, 8 days is not that bad) and we are another friends couple who consistently leave their now 3 year old behind and they go traveling. Other than those two, most of our friends with kids don't really go anywhere (one recently cancelled a Disney trip because "didn't want to go away from her kid" (or possibly, for financial reasons). Another went to a local cottage/cabin for 3 days and apparently she cried the whole way there.

With the whole we have 5 park day tickets, I don't think the vacation won't be that much shorter (maybe 2 nights) plus.

 

[DisneyHead123]

To answer some questions:
1) This trip was meant to be a mom & dad trip only (no kids - we never intended to take them). To take them in August with the heat seems really unwise and I don't think we would enjoy ourselves at all.
2) We've already bought 5 park day tickets so the trip has to be 5 days at least (fly in really early, fly out really late) unless we sack a park day ticket as a sunk cost.
3) My wife originally wanted to do 4-5 days and I thought that would be too much running around (more of a checklist than a vacation) so I convinced her to go for longer because we might as well enjoy the vacation rather than run around like maniacs.
4) What's hard is that my brother and sister in law went to New Zealand for 2.5 weeks when their kids were 3 and 2 (compared to 2.5 weeks, 8 days is not that bad) and we are another friends couple who consistently leave their now 3 year old behind and they go traveling. Other than those two, most of our friends with kids don't really go anywhere (one recently cancelled a Disney trip because "didn't want to go away from her kid" (or possibly, for financial reasons). Another went to a local cottage/cabin for 3 days and apparently she cried the whole way there.

With the whole we have 5 park day tickets, I don't think the vacation won't be that much shorter (maybe 2 nights) plus.

Can you do a trial run where you're nearby for a weekend? The more I think about it, the more that seems like the best plan.

The thing is, there's always selection bias when people answer questions like this. People who say "Yes, totally, go for it!" are obviously going to be the people who had a good experience. The people who don't vacation without their kids are more likely to have kids who aren't as adaptable and wouldn't do well in that situation. Kids are all so different. I'd say try at least an overnight first, then maybe a weekend getaway, and see how it goes. That also gives you time to iron out any minor issues that come up (you get there and someone starts crying for a special nightlight or cup, etc.) so you'll feel more confident being away for 8 days.

 

[Club Cooloholic]

To answer some questions:
1) This trip was meant to be a mom & dad trip only (no kids - we never intended to take them). To take them in August with the heat seems really unwise and I don't think we would enjoy ourselves at all.
2) We've already bought 5 park day tickets so the trip has to be 5 days at least (fly in really early, fly out really late) unless we sack a park day ticket as a sunk cost.
3) My wife originally wanted to do 4-5 days and I thought that would be too much running around (more of a checklist than a vacation) so I convinced her to go for longer because we might as well enjoy the vacation rather than run around like maniacs.
4) What's hard is that my brother and sister in law went to New Zealand for 2.5 weeks when their kids were 3 and 2 (compared to 2.5 weeks, 8 days is not that bad) and we are another friends couple who consistently leave their now 3 year old behind and they go traveling. Other than those two, most of our friends with kids don't really go anywhere (one recently cancelled a Disney trip because "didn't want to go away from her kid" (or possibly, for financial reasons). Another went to a local cottage/cabin for 3 days and apparently she cried the whole way there.

With the whole we have 5 park day tickets, I don't think the vacation won't be that much shorter (maybe 2 nights) plus.

If you think its all good and just like your bro and friends do then what are you posting on this forum for then? Some people think you will be fine, some think it seems too long and would not do this. Everyone does things different with their families. Heck I think you mentioned the youngest is being breast fed still so it might be that much different from a 2 year old.

 

[KTK]

You are overthinking. It will not affect you children's attachment to you. You know your kids better than anyone. You will not be harming your children by being away from them. You can call, face time, etc. Don't let anyone guilt trip you. You obviously thought this through prior to planning the trip so don't second guess yourselves. At your kid's ages, they are not going to remember you even going on this trip especially your 14-month-old. Besides, their concept of time is nowhere near what adults are. Enjoy your trip!

 

[donaldtoo]

My wife and I booked an 8 day WDW vacation for the two of us back in December for this upcoming August, and we have really enjoyed planning it. However, the closer the trip comes, the more we are getting anxious over leaving our two kids (who will be 14 months and 3 years old).

They will be staying with my wife's parents who they see multiple times a week and are comfortable with. I know they will be taken good care of, we are just worried they will become homesick or miss us too much, or impact our attachment. My wife is also doing her best to wean our almost 1 year old onto straw cups as he doesn’t take bottles well. He eats solids well, but doesn’t always like drinking milk from cups.

Are we just overthinking this, or is 8 days too long to be away?

Our 3 kiddos (now grown, and we now have 2 young granddaughters) are 3 years and 2 months apart. 2 daughters and a special needs son in between (born at 1lb. 4oz.). It was like tryin’ to herd cats much of the time when they were little, but, we went everywhere with them…!!!!!
The first time we ever went anywhere for an extended period of time without them was for our 20th wedding anniversary trip to WDW in Dec. of ‘08 for 3 days. But, by then our oldest was already 17, and had been to WDW the previous year for her Sweet 16.
My Pop, Mom, and MIL (still around at ages 90,84 and 86 respectively) were plenty capable of taking care of them, and did many times for date nights and such. But, we just always wanted to do things as a family, and they all turned out to be fine adults…!!!
All that being said, y’all need to do what y’all feel is best for yourselves. Believe me, I know what it’s like to be a young parent, although those days are long past…but, now we get to spoil granddaughters…!!!!!!!
Seriously though, as others have suggested, maybe shorten the trip up a bit, not for the kiddos, but, for y’all’s own peace of mind.
Either way, it’s obvious y’all love y’all’s children very much, and they’ll be fine either way…!!!