Should my sil feel bad?

[MissDiznee66]

She planned a trip for her and her almost 2 older sons (19 & 12). She told them they were going but I'm not sure if she said exactly when they were going. Well it turns out that the older son who is much into wrestling bought tickets to an event that is going on the weekend they will be gone. My sil bought everything air and hotel. But her son is still somewhat upset about missing his wrestling event. Should she feel bad? Would you? :shrug:

 

[BiggerTigger]

Just me, but I would have him stay home (his loss) and have the 12 year old to invite a friend. (And the friend's family may just chip in to help pay for part of the cost). But this way she is losing out on money spent that the oldest son is clearly not going to enjoy. He's 19 and old enought to stay alone. But that would be my way to handle it.

 

[kstella]

I agree. He's an adult and she should have been very clear about her plans and cleared them with him before going ahead and making plans for him. On the plus side, if she did allow her younger son to bring a friend, major cool parent points scored at a very important time in the 12 year-old's life!

 

[maelstrom]

She probably should've told him exactly when the trip was because 21 year olds make plans, you know. And she shouldn't have assumed that he'd even want to go. At 21 he can decide if he wants to go to WDW or go to the wrestling thing. I don't know that she should necessarily feel bad.

 

[mightyduck]

Even at 19, I would have asked when the trip was so I didn't make other arrangements. I'm sure she said "This summer" or something.

I wouldn't feel bad.

At the same time, I don't know that I would take someone else's 12 year old. Field trips make me a nervous wreck!

 

[davidpw97]

It seems as though she's the one who messed up for not letting him know the dates of the trip. She should leave it up to him which one he wants to do more. He's 19, old enough to decide whether or not wrestling is more important than a trip to Disney. I don't think most 19 year olds want to go to Disney with their mom and younger brother anyway. I think letting the other son bring a friend along is a great idea, or maybe another friend and their mother as well if they can afford it.

 

[Nemo14]

I have a 17 year-old son, and I know how hard it is to schedule things around his busy life, so I can really sympathize. Personally, I would have discussed it with both boys first, but that's water over the bridge now. I'm sure she'd prefer to have the trip be just her and her boys, but if the older one prefers to not go, then by all means, let the younger one invite a friend!

 

[wdwmomof3]

I have a 17 year-old son, and I know how hard it is to schedule things around his busy life, so I can really sympathize. Personally, I would have discussed it with both boys first, but that's water over the bridge now. I'm sure she'd prefer to have the trip be just her and her boys, but if the older one prefers to not go, then by all means, let the younger one invite a friend!

well put. We let my oldest bring a friend last time to even out the ages a little and it was a lot of fun. Having two teens there was very helpful with the two younger ones.

 

[Dizknee_Phreek]

I agree with everyone else. I do think she should discuss the issue with her eldest, and see which he'd prefer to do (while letting him know that it's fine whatever he decides). If he doesn't, bring a friend or close relative (any close cousins if he has any). That appears to be the easiest and fairest way to handle things.

 

[MissDiznee66]

I just found out from SIL that the ticket is refundable, so he has no problem taking it back and going on the trip. I'm glad, because I know how important to her it is that he go on vacation with them even though he is older. Thanks everyone.:wave:

 

[BiggerTigger]

Well, I am glad everything worked out for them. I know how wonderful it is to have the family all together (sometimes). But there comes a time when you have to let go and hope that you can make it all together again soon.